Best Squat Poems

Diddly Squat ain’t ‘not a lot’ for it’s nothing at all
Not a few, nor one or two, and it won’t fill a hall
For diddly squat ain't half a pot
It’s like the muse I’ve got
For diddly squat is ‘out of stock’, nada and sod all



16 July...

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“So tell me,” I asked the young boy,
“to whom does one owe Christmas joy?”
But the lad looked at me
and just said, “Can’t you see?
It means when you get the best toy!”

“Do you know why the wise men rode far
on their camels to follow a star?”
With...

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Funny talk... "diddly squat"
Means basically nothing to me!
Where do these words come from?
Do they grow these things on trees?

What a joke... "a pig in a poke"
Fooled unsuspecting buyers!
Instead of a piggy inside the bag
Twas a kitty cat for the fryer!

But of course... "hay's for horses"
Here's...

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the saddest thought -
to have lived for naught...

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When we get to the ripe old age of 80 plus
Our memory can deceive us without much fuss
Remember diddley squat
Frustrates me a lot
Oh to be young and virile with charm surplus...

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People often ask me
What it is I've got
That makes me so happy
When clearly others aren't

Then they tend to wonder
If I'm putting on a front
But when you want for nothing 
There's nothing that you want

Where everything I own and need
Could fit in a paper bag
Again there's...

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Suicide is a topic way too serious for jokes. 
Too awkward for many funny bone pokes. 
But Patch Addams was played on this tone. 
By a fighter of demons of others and his own. 

So in the spirit of the Dead Poet Society actor. 
Who...

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Why are women so appealing, what's all the fuss
Don't understand, they're all people just like us
Well sometimes they're not
Instead of standing they squat
That why us gents give them our seat on a bus...

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Why are women so appealing, what's all the fuss
Don't understand, they're all people just like us
Well sometimes they're not
Instead of standing they squat
That why us gents give them our seats on a bus...

Continue reading...