Best Sort It Poems
[Written during a twelve hour power cut caused by
Storms this past winter]
The storm that arrived in the depth of the night
Got even worse with the new morning’s light
Although I presumed that they’d already know
I contacted the electricity co
I asked if they knew the whole town had gone dark
Are you fixing it or just having a lark
I think that I upset the man on the phone
He told me to wear a coat inside my home
Just listen to me, I said to the geezer
I think you should know I’ve got a dead freezer
Without any leccy it’s gonna defrost
And all of its contents are gonna be lost
We’re trying to sort it all out said the man
But I would suggest that you eat what you can
So I checked the freezer to sort out my tea
My cooker is gas which is lucky for me
I made my selection from my warming freezer
Fish fingers and chips… and ice cream and pizza
Sausages, drumsticks, a tasty rib-eye
Two rocket lollies, a steak and ale pie
Some prawns that I think have defrosted before
(I’m still gonna eat them because I’m not sure)
Some old sausage rolls from Christmas last year
A fisherman’s pie I’d forgotten was here
Another small pizza with awful fake cheese
An out of date bag full of freezer burned peas
Four quarter pounders and thinly sliced beans
I think I might loosen the belt of my jeans
She had a bit of a problem
Of which she was reluctant to disclose
Her wardrobe was full to overflowing
With a wild array of clothes
She justified this behaviour
By insisting it was cheap stuff
Purchased from the op shops
She couldn't get enough
Because it was so cheap
She'd buy three things instead of one
Her shirts multiplied in dozens
And her dresses by the tonne
The day eventually arrived
The wardrobe door would close no more
The drawers were overstuffed
Things were piled up on the floor
Clearly drastic action was needed
And obviously, without a doubt
This would require some discipline
And red wine to sort it out
Hours later, knackered and dishevelled
She had reduced her clothing stash
She promised never to repeat this mistake
And instead save herself the cash
She staggered to the op shop
Weighed down with bags of gear
But naturally, there was a sale on
And really, she had nothing left to wear...
I figured it out
A long time ago.
Call it a hunch;
Bulls-eye! With an arrow.
Faith and wisdom will
Sort it all out.
Pieces of a puzzle
Strewn all about.
Good and evil,
No neutral ground.
Can't ride the fence
Or step out of bounds.
"God, help me!" I can't
Do this alone forever.
"Can't beat 'em, join 'em?"
I said, "Not me! Not ever!"
God has a plan and
I need only be still.
Love others, do good
Bring myself within his will.
I sat long and hard
I re-thought it all.
It all goes back
To satan's great fall.
The story goes
Something like this,
It all began with
A "snake" and a "hiss".
Now, here we are
It's twenty-twenty-one.
They're leaving out God
And life's no longer fun.
Neighbor against neighbor
King against king.
Gold and silver
Are all worthless things.
God said, "Time is short.
The hour is near."
Satan gave a snort,
Smile giving way to sneer.
He exclaimed with pure joy.
God wasn't amused that
We became the devil's toy.
In like a lion and
Out like a lamb?
God said, "Stop! Reverse that!"
It came down to a man.
King of kings,
Name above all names.
God took off the gloves,
No longer playing a game.
Jesus Christ is his name,
From a humble beginning.
I see, from the looks of it,
Now God is winning!
Love nailed to the cross.
Jesus, the final sacrifice.
Though afraid, he prayed
Only for God's advice.
"Your will, not mine",
He said as he knelt.
All my sins are the
Cause of what he felt.
God is great!
Exalted be his name!
It was 3 days later that
Jesus changed the game.
Satan is alive and well,
But only for a while.
God's coming back and
That concludes the file.
They say that time's a healer
And many things will mend
But we are running out of hours
To sort it in the end
There has been too many bruises
Too much damage has been done
Is it really worth fixing?
Or should we turn and run?
The rich man prays for greater wealth
The beggar, bread to eat.
The ailing pray for new found health
And some Your will to meet.
The din must be so horrendous
And hard to sort it out.
Their needs may be tremendous,but
That's not what prayer's about.
All men must learn that You are not
A magic wishing tree
That grants fond wishes on the spot
For all humanity.
My Lord, I know You have a plan
For all, including me.
It is Your will not that of man,
I pray for willingly.
I'm well aware You know my needs
Far better than do I.
You, my loved Lord, are one who heeds
The least of those who cry.
You know the reason some may grieve
And some are unwell still,
And how it all fits in the weave
Of wise eternal will.
I offer then, my self to You
To do with as You may,
Knowing the whys of what You do,
I'll understand some day.
It is not that I do not care
or your worries that I share
Your problems though they be
are not really about me
Sympathy not much
feelings out of touch
Concern forgive my yawn
angry I feel rather calm
Wrong or right
good or bad
let it be
I am sleepy
So stew on for awhile
I am neutral timid and mild
Maybe a nap and after I wake
we can sort it out, see what's at stake
Simmer down and go slow
ease off and let it go
If you blow your top
will it ever stop
Mediocre as it seems
dumb to others sure its deem
but important to you you you
for the hundredth time walk me through.
Oh my math! Oh my math!
You are a head ache or clear cache,
I don’t understand you till I solve,
Is it a part of my problem solve?
Oh dear math! Oh dear math!
Please be simple, don’t be so tough,
You want me to practice, doing some rough?
It’s so hard, I want to give up!
Oh toughest math! Oh toughest math!
Whenever I solve algebra,
I never take it as easy to see zebra,
Whenever I solve integers,
I always think about strangers,
Whenever I solve linear equations,
There stands a line of questions!
Oh annoying math! Oh annoying math!
Whenever there is a doubt,
I tell my teacher to sort it out,
Always one answer on the tip of her tongue,
Practice, practice and practice ample,
You becoming a mathematician, will become simple!
Oh simple math! Oh simple math!
Solving maths is full of fun,
Maths is nowhere tough, no need of rough,
It’s never so hard to give up!
In love I was lost
I plunged headlong
Oblivious of the consequences
For she was fair to behold
E’en fairer than the lily of the garden
She took me by my hand
And together we strolled
We explored the new frontiers of love
My company she greatly adored
Until she couldn’t break free
From the spell of love
Cast on her by fate
Uhm! It’s amazing what love can do
Damning the consequences
I forged ahead with my newfound love
Paradise was unraveled before me
An adventure of some sort it seemed
“Give it a try,” I urged myself
Shutting my mind deliberately to the odds
For if she had known
Then she wouldn’t have allowed me
Entry into her life
But her actions defies all explanation
Void envelopes her being in my absence
What had suddenly come over her?
In so short a while
When she laughed, I laughed
When I cried, she cried as well
The blissful times we shared were dear
Held close to my heart like a testament
“Could anything be this cherished?” I thought
Life definitely seemed very good
She withdrew at certain times
Not because she was through with me, nay!
But she remembers her Man-the Man
“You cannot understand,” she tells me
“You cannot understand,” she affirms
I am another Man’s wife
Like a thief in the night
Her man came
The show he stole
For he had cut short his journey
Unannounced he strolled into the scene
After all he owned the show
He assumes his manly duties once again
Giving her love and succor as it were
He was the man, I was a villain
I was soon relegated to the rear
Despondency and dejection became my theme song
Jealousy I spat out like bile
No one would empathize my shattered heart
For I was warned before hand
Not to fall in love with
Another Man’s wife.
The elephant was walking through the jungle one day
Swinging his trunk, this and that way.
He dragged it along not caring where still
And then dragged it through, a large Ant hill.
His trunk started to itch and annoy him a bit
He wandered around for somewhere to scratch it.
He found a tree and wrapped his trunk around
The leaves and the fruits all dropped to the ground
The itch it then moved, it was now up his nose
He needed to rub it on anything that goes.
He found a rock and rubbed with all his might
It was covered in insects and they all took flight.
Apart from a butterfly that dropped on his tusk
She lay there broken smelling faintly of musk
The itch moved up onto his head close to his eyes
He heard a voice which was quite a surprise.
Hey you be more careful you great big beast
You’ve ruined my home and knocked off the giraffes feast.
You’ve forced insects to flee from the rock where they lay
And you have a broken butterfly, now what do you say?
The elephant stopped in his tracks and looked around
He couldn’t see, from where came the sound.
He shook his head as the itch moved to his ear
Then the voice said it’s me stupid, my voice is quite clear.
The elephant stopped and begged, please keep still
You are making me itch and it’s making me ill
Please show yourself and let me apologise
I meant no harm to you or the butterflies.
The ant crawled from the elephant’s ear
He said, I need you to return to my anthill I fear
I must check on the wounded and dead
If you do this for me I’ll stop itching on your head.
Ok said the elephant I’ll do that for you
But what about this butterfly, what can we do?
I’m not sure said the ant in the elephant's ear
We’ll sort it later when we get near.
They set off and discovered the squashed ants and hill
The elephant cried it made him feel ill.
The ant said we need a new home and quick
Especially for the butterfly, she is quite sick.
The elephant was sad and offered what help he could .
You can move in my trunk, I promise I’ll be good
Thank you we will said the ant, just for a while
And we can help the butterfly, he said with a smile.
So together they set of all content and happy
The elephant the butterfly and the little Anty.
'Twas nine o'clock on Monday morn
And Ned was full of cheek,
Depositing the cash he'd won
From gambling through the week.
The manager was curious
And asked Ned for the drum
On how he’d manage to procure
Each week a tidy sum.
"I only bet on sure things sir,"
Was how old Ned replied.
"Then show me an example friend?"
The manager enquired.
"No worries sir, I'll bet you now
Five hundred of the best
That you are wearing bright red jocks
And sir I do not jest."
The banker oozing confidence
Let out a joyous cry,
"You're on my friend!" and bared the cash,
A twinkle in his eye.
"Well drop your trousers sir," Ned said,
"Don't leave a bloke in doubt."
The banker thought the office more
A place to sort it out.
Then once inside he dropped his dacks
And with a grin he said,
"You've done your dough for you can see
These jocks are sure not red."
"Not good enough," old Ned replied,
"For they look red to me,
Perhaps it's 'cause I'm colour blind,
We'll need a referee."
"Let's ask your good Accountant sir,
To cast the final lot,"
But when the Banker called him in
He fainted on the spot.
"What's up with him?" The Banker said,
"The man's out like a light."
"He's in a state of shock," said Ned,
"But he'll come 'round all right."
"You see we waged a little bet,
A thousand he would pay,
If I could drop your dacks by ten;
A sure thing ... wouldn't you say?"
What is what?
I never thought,
In my mind it always fought.
When I asked the teacher to sort it out,
She told to never ask such doubts.
It runs in my mind throughout.
When I asked my mother to sort it out,
She said that she had the same doubt.
But it runs in my mind throughout.
When i asked my father to sort it out,
He said that he is going out
But it runs in my mind throughout.
Someone help me to sort it out
WHAT IS WHAT?
Which I never thought.
There's an Elephant in the room.
The tension filled the air all day,
Neither party dared to assume,
Dismay held sway in its gloomy way.
There's an Elephant in the room,
One could almost smell the beast
It permeated all throughout,
It needed clearing at the very least.
So if you find yourself in this state,
Declare the problem before it's too late.
Sort it out before it has chance to consume,
For no one likes an Elephant in the room.
© Dave Timperley 21 July 2017
The sun rises and sets without a care
But I rise and set and the worries
Stepping cautiously as the world moves
It pulls me forward to my journey
Never a doubt
The worries make me strong
Strong as the wind and rain
Fresh rain that washes everything
All troubles get carried through
Tributaries and filtering sort it
My watershed becomes pure
It waits for the rain
As I keep stepping and the roots
Watch out for those Devils
My feet betray me as I fall
I'm getting up and never doubt me
Somehow, someway I keep
My Shoulder
My shoulders
Hold the care of someone else
No warning
Heavy weight
Responsibilities grow
Caregiving
Tasks for two
Now are mine to meddle through
Keep Control
Remember
All appointments and the meds
Important
I can feel
The stress upon my shoulders
It grows now
No easy task
I strain to make the effort
Rewarding
Not easy either
Daily challenges await
Days go by
My love too
Struggles with both walk and talk
Stroke attack
Together
We face all the days ahead
Not I alone
Changed views now
Our tired eyes do see the world
Moving On
Rearranged
And with it much confusion
Sort it out
Love is strong
Any other seems so wrong
Find a way
Yesterday
The days with fun and flare
Are dreams now
My shoulders
Grow strong with all they carry
Tomorrow
Look forward
Work now toward better days
Promising
I know we fight.
but not in spite.
but deep,deep down.
it is like a golden gown.
we do love each other.
not like any other.
all sisters have bad sides.
it is most definitely a bumpy ride.
but as I said you are my big sister.
and I am a right little devil.
you try to fool me like saying there is a ghost.
but when it matters most.
when bullies are picking on me.
you are there with the key.
to sort it all out.
that is without a doubt.
we do love each other.
but most the time it does not show.
and we are fighting like any other.
sisters will never change.