Best Snacks Poems
I Want, But Don't Need
Yes, "I Want, But Don't Need" is my waistwatcher creed
as I walk by each vending machine.
All those chocolate chips calling out to my hips,
colored Reese's in pieces - obscene!
Will willpower surmount the cholesterol count
of PayDays or some Rice Krispie Treats?
Can I even forsake the caloric intake
of LifeSavers, the smallest of sweets?
Yummy Snickers and Kit-Kats, peanut M&Ms,
with three flavors of Hostess fruit pie,
I am hoping my brain simply vetoes
the Cheetos, Doritos, and Fritos, oh my!
Dare I ponder the truth of the harm Baby Ruth
will inflict on my belly's increase?
Soon my sweet tooth will bargain with riveting jargon,
"Please buy it, I'll just eat a piece!
Then there's Hershey's and Twix, and six kinds of trail mix.
And the drinks! Pepsi, Root beer, and Coke,
Dr. Pepper, YooHoo, Orange Crush, Mt. Dew
render new resolutions a joke.
Then two hours post-lunch, there's that nice Nestle Crunch
overwhelming my stoic resolve,
And the Heath bars and Dove bars and Clark bars and Mars bars
enticing my will to dissolve.
I am one of those hoarders of nickels and quarters -
should ever the munchies catch fire.
Self-control starts to fail when those Oreos hail,
calling out to my carnal desire.
In a fog, I hear clinking of coins, with lights blinking
then eating and drinking. No sorrow!
For I just HAD to buy it, the heck with my diet -
"Whole 30" can just start tomorrow!
Potato chips,
Crisp and salty,
A few are burnt,
Therefore faulty...
Pretzels twisted
Around your neck,
But crispy and fresh,
Oh what the heck...
M & Ms upside down
Are W & W's,
I have to frown...
All I want, a piece of cheese,
All I've got, the sneeze of Louise
Wouldn't mind an ice cold beer,
Sip of champagne,
But I fear,
Lucky to get a drop of water
From a dirty puddle,
Oh, I'd love,
My sweetheart to cuddle
Sardines, salami, Ritz and more,
All those snacks I used to adore,
An empty cupboard,
Doors do groan,
Once again,
I am alone...
Just as well, appetite did fade,
Even for a chug
Of GatorAid
One last pack
Of long grained rice,
Not a food
I find so nice
One can fade away
In American life,
Resources unequal
Changes in your wife...
Have an olive,
Have a roll,
Put on some cold-cuts,
Satisfaction
Your sole goal...
Gnawing on my Slim Jim
I wonder if anyone alive
Ever met him...
Popcorn seems a
likely choice,
Popping in the micro
It's only voice.
All a dream,
I have no food,
I'm left in hunger
For me to brood.
When I was a kid at the movies
With money to purchase a snack,
I wouldn’t buy popcorn or bonbons
Or Bonomo’s taffy to crack.
My favorites were strange, I admit it
And ones that I’d never now buy.
The first, root beer barrels, were tasty
And gave me a soda-like high.
The other was Chuckle-like chewies
But all of one flavor, in green,
Called spearmint leaves, dusted with sugar
And part of my movie routine.
They’re both still around (Yes, I Googled)
But neither’s retained its appeal
Though back then, as a kid at the theater,
They brought joy during many a reel.
Today is National Pretzel Day…the day to give our hats a tip
to the long-suffering cousin of the more popular potato chip.
I’m not sure how it happened…why or where or when
but in a list of the most popular snacks...pretzels aren’t in the top 10?
How can they lose out to Cheetos...sure they may be a little bit duller
but Cheetos leave your fingers orange...and is that even a real color?
If you think that doesn’t bother the pretzel…bother them a lot.
I imagine that’s the real reason they’re all tied up knots.
So today lets glorify the pretzel and spread good pretzel thoughts across the land
Did you know they were originally shaped to resemble praying hands?
And here’s an interesting little tidbit, an often forgotten stat
the marriage term ‘tie the knot....we have the pretzel to thank for that.
Pretzels once were a part of weddings, held by the couple for everyone to see
to be broken and eaten together as a symbol of unity.
The pretzel signifies good luck…in Germany children believe it brings good cheer.
That’s why they tie one around their neck at the beginning of each year.
Pretzels once adorned Christmas trees…Hey! this is a snack with legs...
At one time they were even hidden...on Easter Sunday…with the eggs.
A long time ago pretzels were a common way to help the poor get fed.
They were often thought so highly of...they were buried with the dead!
I could go on and on but I think I’ve made my case…
When it comes to every other snack…you’re all vying for 2nd place.
So move over cookies, candy, crackers, Cheeto’s and potato chips…
you’ve all had your fun.
It’s time for the pretzel to take its rightful place as the snack world’s number 1.
I tried to eat a baseball cap
A dreidel and some lumber
Some beetles and a monkey trap
And now this swell cucumber.
In the middle of the night
With sleep still in my eyes
I stepped into my kitchen
And received quite a surprise
As I reached out my hand
And flicked the light on
There were balloons, confetti, party hats
With a banner that read -WELCOME HOME-
I'd caught thousands of roaches
In the middle of song
They all turned and looked at me strange
As if I'd done something wrong
I heard a scream from the crowd
A foreign language to me
The next thing I know
I'm knocked down to my knees
As I'm being dragged
Across the linoleum floor
I see a little red button
That opens up a trap door
I started getting real nervous
The deeper we went
If I was a cat with nine lives
I think eight I just spent
They took me before the king
King Ralph Roach was his name
I only knew that
Cause that's what his name tag displayed
I was assigned a public defender
But that did me no good
He spoke Roach, I spoke Human
Each other we never quite understood
"GUILTY!" Came the verdict
I hollered what was my crime!
"Interrupting a roach in the middle of having a good time"
Came the judges reply
Squishing to be my death
The day after tomorrows last night
I said that doesn't make any sense?!
Hey, we're roaches....we're not known for our timely insight
So here I sit in my cell
Wishing I could take it all back
If I had just not gotten up
For that late midnight snack
Wait....is that a tap, tap, tap
(You didn't think this was the end did you?)
As my hours getting late
A roach we'll call Chester
For anonymity sake
Told me to stop all that blubbering
I've come to break you out of here
I stood and we hugged
Which would be strange if it wasn't so weird
We slipped past room after room
With all kinds of parties inside
One thing you can say about roaches
They know how to have a good time
When we reached the surface
All I saw was blessed heavenly light
I went straight in and packed my bags
And gave the house to my Ex-Wife
(Okay, now it's the end!)
I pride myself on my deep poetic insight..
Bar Snacks
A man walks into a pub
And asks if they sell bar snacks.
The barman says that they do,
"We've got roast goblin,
Grilled leprechaun
And deep fried fairy"
The man thought for a moment
"They all sound very tasty
But don't you serve anything elfy?"
Orange peels litter my desk,
sprinkling sparkling droplets of orange oil
over my unfinished love sonnet
A croissant is over there,
I just remembered.
It soaks my slam poem,
which I shall never perform,
with buttery heaviness
Jelly beans, blue, red, green, white,
to be found on the remote island of
my travel diary, as profuse with blank verse
as the ocean is profuse with fishes
A peanut-butter sandwich, open-faced,
refuses to unstick from the sestina
I have given up on finding proper words
for
I need to clean up my desk.
She did not recall those nightly forages
Those midnight snacks had packed on the pounds
From her eating habits she couldn't disengage
She needs to solve the mystery of those midnight rounds
Her husband was suspicious too
And he wondered what he should do
For someone was putting miles on his car!
It was really quite bizarre
So he installed cameras, both inside and out
To see what this mystery was all about
They reviewed the tapes after a couple days
They were both shocked and dismayed
There was his wife having a midnight snack
Sleepwalking to the kitchen and back!
The couple knew this was no dream
For there he was, driving down the road with high beams!
This sleepwalking couple knew just what to do
They'd kill two birds with one stone and go to the drive-thru!
--
7-20-18
Sleepwalking Contest
Sponsored by: John Hamilton
The beauty of the evening,
The blushing horizon in the west
I adore much the taste
Of sugary sweets blended
In the black coffee
In the mug of beautiful evening
Moistens my thirsty throat,
To alleviate an exhaustion
After my daily affairs.
The glow of appealing eve
Freezes to the stark darkness.
Thin cover of Black Satin
Sets nightly all over my body.
The cool and soft warmth
Of my subconscious body
Spins the deep slumber.
My whole body are then senseless:
By the immeasurable beauty
Of my beloved.
Warming me up at a snail's pace
Plunges to an iridescent dreams.
After having dinner,
Nice reflection of the glowing eve
Switches into gloomy night
I clean my hand and mouth
And feel me cozy by the leftover
At the edge of my dinner plate
Midnight snacks sparkle
Like diamond inside the coal.
The midnight snacks
A few pieces of food desecrates
As the complexity of my life
Tastes saline as the ocean water do,
Comes out frequently
Of my dehydrated throat
Something more pleasant savors.. .
*
Insane is the brain
Cerebral in infinity
Without endless thoughts
Counting backwards
To cascade forward
What is reality of the mind
And what is pure illusion of the heart
I make believe that what I say exists
But a figment is fruit from the Gods
Given to mortals as trickery
Promethius was tricked into death
By living again each day
I was fooled into breathing
By a soul reaper who
Breathed a mystery
Into me, like a gold coin
Rare and precious in the hand
Held for decades into admiration
So is the thoughts of a human
What we have created as our id
Has grown past manifestation into mast
By overpopulating culture or just cult
Not so secrative is the imagination
Not so quiet is the ravenous howls of
Humanity barking for the royal flesh
Of a new meat from the wishbone
Dying to be more than just ourselves
larks begin their social day
before dawn, in the early morning darkness.
They’re wired for it
So am I.
I’m a short-sleeper - it’s genetic
I’m talking about my DEC2, ADRB1, mGluR1 and NPSR1 genes. If I average 4 or 5 hours of sleep, for weeks and weeks, I’m good to go.
This works well for school, but back in the COVID lockdown days - it was crazy. I’d be up at all hours - long after the reasonable world closed its eyes. I’d walk the halls, seemingly everywhere, like Shakespeare’s eleven ghosts.
That’s a poetic queue if I ever heard one..
She shuns her weary bed
in the darkened hush of midnight
when slumber should rule
Her pale brow needs no rest,
so she wraith-like roams her parent’s home.
Fey and fleet, her footsteps falling soft
in shadows thick as underworld
She’s the grinning ghost
in the game room - a sleepless phantasm
moving to dance-dance-revolution’s beat
in seeming revelry wild.
She’s the gliding spirit in the endless, well-lit pool,
slicing effortlessly through the glass-slick turquoise
a selkie-sleek mermaid in a loop of back and forth
who makes pitch-night, an otter's roam.
To the kitchen then, this lissome spectre paces,
restlessness and moonlight walks compel cravings
she’s not seeking the company of other restless souls
- she’s searching for yummy Totino's Pizza Rolls.
.
.
Songs for this:
Time and Love by Laura Nyro
Late Night Talking by Harry Styles
Seagulls fly white high
Looking with their eye
For your popcorn and
French fries on the tile.
Soaring through blue the
White seagulls paste against
The sky as white kites soaring
With a seagull call for snacks.
When you see the seagull
Landing quietly a white and gray
Sneaky seagull snatches
Potato chips with glee.
Whisking over and near
Seagulls like looking at
You eating your ice cream cone
And calls for more of your treats.
What a beautiful day to see
White clean graceful seagulls
Fly over near filling our
Lives with joy and memories.
Let Hans start reading some book:
Let him not this overlook
Or it shall him later hook
In a school they don't scores cook,
Her exit door for the crook
And who thinks he can rook...
Let him now try his textbook,
Who never his meals forsook
And sweet snacks made sure he took,
Who'd not turned-off radio brook,
For shows and concerts long look;
At Alpha Grades hungry look!
Ok, I think I'm addicted to Welch's fruit snacks
They come in little packets and I keep going back!
The box is empty....way too fast
I may have to get help for this at last!
Or maybe I could be on a commercial one day somehow
Make some money telling people how great these are
- Buy them now!-
Heidi Sands
9/4/19