Best Sloshed Poems

I had an old auntie called Mable
Who could drink men under the table
She’d tell folks of her gout
Sup up six pints of stout  -
then...

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The bar was open at nine
And my banker said all was fine
Champagne and limousines
Roses tossed, like petals in time

She caught my fancy
She looked divine
I was...

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I was born unto this world
A little boy called James
I was just like all the rest
Who in the playground played normal games

I knew my life...

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They found my neighbor today
sitting in his chair, seeping
into the fabric. The smell-
rancid fat, a tallowy 
rind of meat. 

The cleaners take days.
Boy George warbles
through...

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 HAIKU ON LOVE # 1

You leave me after we make love
Moonbeam falls 
A poet shares my sorrow


HAIKU ON LOVE # 2
She coils him
Desolate
Autumn waits

HAIKU...

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The papers were signed
It was like drawing a get out of jail free card
Freedom can be intoxicating
Especially when combined with a half-gallon of Carol Rossi
The...

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Once in a blue moon I have been told
The cliché’s clan gets together with the Catch Phrase posy

If I have told you once I have...

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                        ...

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Happy.  Genial.  Merry.  Jolly
Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed
Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy
Tipsy.  Tiddly.  Brahms and Liszt

Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied
Ganted, gubbed, guttered
Bladdered,...

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Yes, to the dance and party at Hotel California.
You love the flirting game with pretty maids all in a row.
No more wasted time on the...

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There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who carried his milk in a bucket,
When it sloshed on the street,
You could hear him repeat,
"I should get a...

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The Jackal's line of demarcation ye souls' furlough for interim...
Today, cockcrows perturb in a gala thrice for thee quiescent stay,
God's Park of Ephemera, sashays the...

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Brenda and Banron bounced slowly on his boat
as the brilliant sun sparkled brightly on the glistening water.
Big and burly he was the boy she sought...

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On a dark and stormy Winter night the air was full of yuletide idiocy, 
For Christmas was approaching with a greedy widening grin insidiously. 

Eggnog...

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tried to touch but my hands tremble 
once i saw she cut my loss 
i beg the difference knowing nothing 
let her find how much...

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I insisted the jubilee amiability
to stir up with twilight-ed spirit
zeal of desires aroused 
as the silverly rays crowned me
to pour out the gilded spirit.
Earstwhile crimson...

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Smelly people in the queue,
Wafting B O from each shoe,
And from their bodies, both unwashed,
Then to cap it all, both are sloshed,
Swaying back and forth...

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fascinated by the backyard wagon —
it leans against the aged oak.

sloshed with water in Spring,
levity of leaves of Fall,
catching snowflakes in Winter —
on its red...

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Songs of Life

The patter of raindrops, blown by the wind,
 sloshed by passing cars, and settling my calmness,
soothe the restless wandering of my mind.

The Spanish...

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Spared from the Spear


(For Grace Chimezie to her THISDAY Office)

You knew not the coils of cataclysm
Spun like yarns by the angels of evil
Into the frame...

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When Katrina came calling,
Lady Blues brought some 
Miami Hurricane bad news
Green Dolphin Street pain parade
went Mardi Gras wind marching
down to the delta swamp of Nawl...

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Nauseous Natasha’s cautious sister Sasha’s posh boss
Josh McIntosh from Osh Kosh
Sloshed through the marshes sporting galoshes
Looking for his lost hoss Ross
By gosh
...

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The Vampire warrior laughed with youthful exuberance,

as his victim sloshed through the swamp,

running like a coward as he became the chase,

a hunting technique...

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I've been to the top of the mountain
I've surveyed the valley below.
I've heard the mountaintop call me,
I've felt the icy wind blow.

I came down from...

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Oh, please
Turn the music up, Shug
I just want to lie in this camper
Surrounded by my three good friends
And forget
Please, Cay
Don’t remind me of the girl...

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