Best Sloshed Poems

I had an old auntie called Mable
Who could drink men under the table
She’d tell folks of her gout
Sup up six pints of stout  -
then stagger to the loo when able!

11~23~16

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON


My paternal aunt whose name was Mable 
Drank so much that she...

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The bar was open at nine
And my banker said all was fine
Champagne and limousines
Roses tossed, like petals in time

She caught my fancy
She looked divine
I was sloshed
Spoiled in wine

I asked for a dance
Heavens chance
An endless love
On the wheels of romance

We kissed the night away
In chariot drawn...

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They found my neighbor today
sitting in his chair, seeping
into the fabric. The smell-
rancid fat, a tallowy 
rind of meat. 

The cleaners take days.
Boy George warbles
through the walls. 
Buckets sloshed
and carted to the halls.

No one collects his things.
No one cries.
A ten word
obituary:

Mr. Campbell died
and all anyone...

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I was born unto this world
A little boy called James
I was just like all the rest
Who in the playground played normal games

I knew my life was in trouble
By the time I reached the age of five
My mother had so many friends
I wondered why I was...

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HAIKU ON LOVE # 1

You leave me after we make love
Moonbeam falls 
A poet shares my sorrow


HAIKU ON LOVE # 2
She coils him
Desolate
Autumn waits

HAIKU ON LOVE # 3
A love bruise
Wicked parrot
Season of rain

HAIKU ON LOVE# 4

His words were diamonds
Wizard of love phrases 
He stole my...

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There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who carried his milk in a bucket,
When it sloshed on the street,
You could hear him repeat,
"I should get a straw and go suck it."...

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The papers were signed
It was like drawing a get out of jail free card
Freedom can be intoxicating
Especially when combined with a half-gallon of Carol Rossi
The party was lovely, beautiful, happy people laughing and dancing
Except for one exceptionally large woman
Whose toe I managed to step on
At...

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Happy.  Genial.  Merry.  Jolly
Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed
Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy
Tipsy.  Tiddly.  Brahms and Liszt

Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied
Ganted, gubbed, guttered
Bladdered, blathered, leathered, plastered, 
Sozzled, sloshed, scuttered

Hammered, battered, caned, mangled
Spannered, mullered.  Half-cut, lashed
Twisted, warped, slammed, wasted
Wrecked, ruined.  Munted, trashed

Liquified,...

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The Jackal's line of demarcation ye souls' furlough for interim...
Today, cockcrows perturb in a gala thrice for thee quiescent stay,
God's Park of Ephemera, sashays the daggled the minder harks,
a chest not in to rest, of dais edicts, cudgels so contagious; 
haughty wheels peddle rashly between...

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Once in a blue moon I have been told
The cliché’s clan gets together with the Catch Phrase posy

If I have told you once I have told you a thousand times this story or are you the last one to know?

Well, it all started for no...

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She sloshed a glennish grooll in Glummaberry
                              Pfiffle flummished furuncles a flummaderry 
   ...

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Yes, to the dance and party at Hotel California.
You love the flirting game with pretty maids all in a row.
No more wasted time on the heartbreak endured in Georgia.
No sad desperado feel blocks your new, solo, man show.

You love the flirting game with pretty maids...

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On a dark and stormy Winter night the air was full of yuletide idiocy, 
For Christmas was approaching with a greedy widening grin insidiously. 

Eggnog sloshed in decorated cups whose painted pretty elves,
Had sat all year combing cobwebbed hair atop the basement shelves. 

Aunts and...

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I insisted the jubilee amiability
to stir up with twilight-ed spirit
zeal of desires aroused 
as the silverly rays crowned me
to pour out the gilded spirit.
Earstwhile crimson years
With some bichrome days
My glazed tumbler seems to reflect
those moments
as the sound of slopping gilded spirit 
sloshed the bottom spattering...

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Smelly people in the queue,
Wafting B O from each shoe,
And from their bodies, both unwashed,
Then to cap it all, both are sloshed,
Swaying back and forth as they,
Wait their stinky turns to pay,
And I am right behind them too!
What's the best thing I can do?
Should I...

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