Best Sloshed Poems
The bar was open at nine
And my banker said all was fine
Champagne and limousines
Roses tossed, like petals in time
She caught my fancy
She looked divine
I was sloshed
Spoiled in wine
I asked for a dance
Heavens chance
An endless love
On the wheels of romance
We kissed the night away
In chariot drawn horse
Central park, lovers embrace
Leaving our bliss all to fate
Once in a lifetime
Dreams do come true
Your heart is stolen
And love holds you true
I grasped the moon
And held it tight
Deep within, I am a little boy
Is crazy but its true
One day I played with trains
The next station brought me her
That’s all I knew
Till I fell in love
Flowers wilted
As time long passed
My love was hers
Forever, but its true
Arthur's Theme
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMdwFkO8xA0
They found my neighbor today
sitting in his chair, seeping
into the fabric. The smell-
rancid fat, a tallowy
rind of meat.
The cleaners take days.
Boy George warbles
through the walls.
Buckets sloshed
and carted to the halls.
No one collects his things.
No one cries.
A ten word
obituary:
Mr. Campbell died
and all anyone noticed
was the
smell.
I was born unto this world
A little boy called James
I was just like all the rest
Who in the playground played normal games
I knew my life was in trouble
By the time I reached the age of five
My mother had so many friends
I wondered why I was alive
The kids all used to laugh at me
In my short trousers and bloodied knees
If only they had known
What was going on, in the inside of me
Would they ever know
Why a mother would put you down
And pretend that your not there
As another arrives from out of town
Have they ever wondered
To go to school with clothes unwashed
Sleep on a concrete floor
While your Mother's comfortably sloshed
Do they ever stop and wonder
What happens around them day by day
They can't, because they are young like me
When all they want to do is play
My teens are around the corner
To secondary school I go
I survive and I get wiser
As I intend my life to flow
As we travel down life's highways
When we are born they are seldom written
You know the roads you want to take
For inside you, your internally smitten
HAIKU ON LOVE # 1
You leave me after we make love
Moonbeam falls
A poet shares my sorrow
HAIKU ON LOVE # 2
She coils him
Desolate
Autumn waits
HAIKU ON LOVE # 3
A love bruise
Wicked parrot
Season of rain
HAIKU ON LOVE# 4
His words were diamonds
Wizard of love phrases
He stole my garments
HAIKU ON LOVE # 5
She offered her warm breasts
To her lover in winter night
Icy wind roared
HAIKU ON LOVE # 6
Two leaves are tangled
The tree meditates
He does not know our raptures
HAIKU ON LOVE # 7
Words are lost
Glances weak
Glaciered infinity
HAIKU ON LOVE # 8
My neighbour’s wife
Pulls me
To a sobbing counter
HAIKU ON LOVE # 9
Sighs heavy, hidden moon
Moans, pleasures of the night
Cruel kisses bleed
HAIKU ON LOVE # 10
She fell on my chest
Stunned
By the dart of love
HAIKU ON LOVE # 11
Hold on some more and hold on
Until the fire is put out
And he would close his eyes
HAIKU ON LOVE # 12
I would wager
He would leave soon
With a trail of cinnabar
HAIKU ON LOVE # 13
He was a noodle
As her eyes were nearly shut
And bottom of the sea sloshed
HAIKU ON LOVE # 14
I had to hold her like a python
Brute yes I am, I couldn’t lose time
To be ambivalent
HAIKU ON LOVE # 15
His tired legs staggered
He fell again on her bosom
God is so ungracious
HAIKU ON LOVE # 16
Incredible cavern
Big black cat walks on curling passages
In search of snail trail
HAIKU ON LOVE # 17
Last night’s sleep
Washed out
My lover’s petting
HAIKU ON LOVE # 18
My husband’s ancient kiss
Fades away
Like charming baubles
HAIKU ON LOVE # 19
A young man hid behind his shadow
At the edge of the river
My bath aroma seeped through his skull
HAIKU ON LOVE # 20
My wife was parabolic
She could not make love
Before her voyage to comet
HAIKU ON LOVE # 21
I can go down her slit
If the river gets more time
To watch my owl
**************************************************************
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who carried his milk in a bucket,
When it sloshed on the street,
You could hear him repeat,
"I should get a straw and go suck it."
The papers were signed
It was like drawing a get out of jail free card
Freedom can be intoxicating
Especially when combined with a half-gallon of Carol Rossi
The party was lovely, beautiful, happy people laughing and dancing
Except for one exceptionally large woman
Whose toe I managed to step on
At the exact same time I sloshed Carlo Rossi onto her bosom
My apologies fell on deaf ears
Word spread quickly that there would be a fight
She was going to kick my butt
I needed an intervention. Where was my Superman?
Where was that guy with the trembling hands that whispered to me
That he would always come to save me
Then I realized
Every woman, when she removed her bra
Has a “W” on her chest.
Off the bra came
As I turned to confront my opponent
Declaring boldly that I was going to kick HER butt
Six strong, loving arms whisked me out the door and into the car
Those are friends I will never forget
Safely at home, I sat on the curb under the stars with my dog Alice
I told her about the evening
She agreed that I was truly a Wonder
I eventually put the bra back on
But I have never taken off the cape
Happy. Genial. Merry. Jolly
Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed
Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy
Tipsy. Tiddly. Brahms and Liszt
Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied
Ganted, gubbed, guttered
Bladdered, blathered, leathered, plastered,
Sozzled, sloshed, scuttered
Hammered, battered, caned, mangled
Spannered, mullered. Half-cut, lashed
Twisted, warped, slammed, wasted
Wrecked, ruined. Munted, trashed
Liquified, marinated, juiced, sauced,
Steamed, pickled, fried
Cabbaged, mashed, cooked, baked
Boiled, stewed. Pie-eyed
Stinking. Howling. Pole-axed, floored
Under the influence. Off one's woo
Steampigged, badgered, ratted, goosed,
Clobbered. Lairy. Boogaloo
3 sheets to the wind. Away with the fairies
Under the table. Tight as a tick.
Ankled, wellied, trousered, legless,
Bevvied, swizzled, pot-sick.
One over the eight. Out nibbling the grape.
Rosy. Rummy. Poggled.
Jober as a sudge. Laughing at the carpet.
Seeing double. Boggled.
Lubricated, oiled, pixilated, ploughed
Intoxicated, inebriated. On the grog
Wobbly, jungled, off to the races
Lit up, shot down. Cocked as a log
As a lord, as a piper, as a fiddler, as a poet,
As a newt, as a monkey, as a skunk
As a sailor, as a mouse, as a pig, as a fart
Muddled. Fuddled. Or just plain drunk
Words and experiences, many of us share
And I'm sure there's a few that I've missed
But while some get "tired and emotional"
I just prefer to get…
The Jackal's line of demarcation ye souls' furlough for interim...
Today, cockcrows perturb in a gala thrice for thee quiescent stay,
God's Park of Ephemera, sashays the daggled the minder harks,
a chest not in to rest, of dais edicts, cudgels so contagious;
haughty wheels peddle rashly between two havocked hearts,
foisting wintry fobs of progeny pleating to let pigeons exeunt,
if bedlam trotting by pothers ye, the cob, yet calmly sings,
"Fare-thee-well, Oh snowflake in dwindle, hallow me next spring,
via crepuscules, cleaved like vacant aulas crescendo conveyance,
wholly abutting city lights, this chimney calling cannot sight!"
Jolly pedestrians twinge at our capitol! Touring a mindful chance,
Ample of verve, knowing mortuary amblers must get their fight!
"Fountains, thawing ye? Janitor, what does the blind really see?"
tryst squelch time, squirm squander squalors n' ante antiquated feet,
Jocund or beh£s belief! Ye! Behind bellicose belletrists by beggars!
When baubles full-fledged, hast consummated thee to hobnob no more,
jongleur sloshed anchors on mimes bare laid laic stoolie, loupe aims,
Headmost, request lasting breaths above broadcasting fortune n' fame,
Then fated fires the Sniper jostles from home to goad n' prod,
Ye kindred stanchion and I, skimmed, the sunset even with me...
Once in a blue moon I have been told
The cliché’s clan gets together with the Catch Phrase posy
If I have told you once I have told you a thousand times this story or are you the last one to know?
Well, it all started for no rhyme or reason but you could see the writing on the wall.
Rat Race and horsing around would be in charge of the children’s activities for the day.
While crazy as a loon and Wacky Tobacky would take care of the entertainment.
Ice Queen would be the bartender for the night and Wall Flower would play the music.
Requests were already pouring in from the peanut gallery.
Young whipper Snapper like to hear a country song called one step forward and two steps back
And Jonny come lately wanted to hear a rock song called Chip off the old block.
Class clown always wanting to be the center of attention got drunk and started dancing
On the picnic tables.
Simon Says and Mother May I where there to tell everyone what to do and where to sit.
This would be a catered event so One sandwich short of a picnic was hired to feed this Motley crew.
On the menu was Fish out of Water served with two peas in a pod and for dessert The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree Al- a- mode.
Everybody was having a great time until the trouble makers showed up.
One for the road and Three sheets to the wind where known for starting drunken brawls.
The worst thing was they brought their 3 grown sons Hammered, sloshed and pickled.
If I only knew then what I know now left early. She had a feeling there would be trouble.
Penny for your thoughts would be collecting the raffle ticket money and No time like the present would be handing out the prizes.
Liar Liar Pants on fire and Cry me a river were sore losers and always made a scene if they lost.
It will be a cold day in hell didn’t want to go so he sent his wife Heaven to Betsy.
Too much of a good thing got sick and ended up taking the bus# Catch22 home.
Well, nothing lasts forever was the last song of the night and Turn out the lights the party’s over security guard company showed everyone the door.
The end.
Form:
She sloshed a glennish grooll in Glummaberry
Pfiffle flummished furuncles a flummaderry
They broommed helly hole
Gnooshed a grooby toll
And undled Woo in a gray piffenerry
Yes, to the dance and party at Hotel California.
You love the flirting game with pretty maids all in a row.
No more wasted time on the heartbreak endured in Georgia.
No sad desperado feel blocks your new, solo, man show.
You love the flirting game with pretty maids all in a row.
In the city, fantasy landscapes entice your lost heart.
No sad desperado feel blocks your new, solo, man show.
You believe life in the fast lane is a game you play smart.
In the city, fantasy landscapes entice your lost heart.
You long to dance sloshed into the morn’s tequila sunrise.
You believe life in the fast lane is a game you play smart.
I can’t tell you why your emotion seeks downtown tinged skies.
You long to dance sloshed into the morn’s tequila sunrise.
You’ll take one more skin or gin shot in a New York minute.
I can’t tell you why your emotion seeks downtown tinged skies.
A certain kind of fool with a broken heart, can’t mend it.
You’ll take one more skin or gin shot in a New York minute.
No more wasted time on the heartbreak endured in Georgia.
A certain kind of fool with a broken heart, can’t mend it.
Yes, to the dance and party at Hotel California.
The Eagles
Songs: Hotel California, Pretty Maids All in a Row, Wasted Time, Desperado, In the City, Life in the Fast Lane, Tequila Sunrise, I Can’t Tell You Why, New York Minute, Certain Kind of Fool
Smelly people in the queue,
Wafting B O from each shoe,
And from their bodies, both unwashed,
Then to cap it all, both are sloshed,
Swaying back and forth as they,
Wait their stinky turns to pay,
And I am right behind them too!
What's the best thing I can do?
Should I just hold my breath?
That may well lead to my death,
'Cos this queue really is very long,
And their odour is really strong,
And holding my nose will not do,
The powerful pong still seeps through,
As through my mouth I'm forced to breathe,
From this position I have to leave,
Before my retching makes me spew,
I'm heading for the back of the queue!
Tom Higgins 05/08/2012
I insisted the jubilee amiability
to stir up with twilight-ed spirit
zeal of desires aroused
as the silverly rays crowned me
to pour out the gilded spirit.
Earstwhile crimson years
With some bichrome days
My glazed tumbler seems to reflect
those moments
as the sound of slopping gilded spirit
sloshed the bottom spattering the glazed ambiance.
I greeted the slushing club soda
to blend with its own felicity of bubbles
dribbling over the gilded spirit
to rebel the jubilee amiability.
Invidious comparisions of consequences experienced
now the encumbrance of responsibility that blazes
as I perished my own dreams.
I acompanied the thought lighting my cig
Smokes drifted alike my reveries.
I held my gilded spirit inclining to my thirsty lips
The gilded sip boosted me
Out from those obsessed incumbency.
I accompanied with a prepraration of pomfret tandoori shrimp
to spice up the gilded spirit
with slurp sounds that spieled again and again.
The jubilee amiability acquainted with
some imagery hot babes
keeping aside my eternal love for few moments.
My vision evinced bit of dizziness
As I imbibed the whole gilded peg.
The zeal of the twilght-ed spirit
That crowned me against my solitude passing jubilee
I was inspired by my own amiability
As if I was adorned with my Gilded Silver Jubilee Peg.
Hardly venture into such verse.
In her bedroom, she wrote her curse.
She despised bright pupils at Yale.
If water drops could tell their tale.
She went on long walks in the drought.
They urged her to blend in and flout.
In gray rain, she went past wan shale.
If water drops could tell their tale.
Had they fed the felled holy trees?
Her thongs sloshed in a thoughtful breeze.
Gather, freeze, pour down wet and hail.
If water drops could tell their tale.
Where had those lovely old dribs been?
which dropped sunk ships and saved Tholepin.
She found longing despite the hail.
If water drops could tell their tale.
Written: August 09, 2022
A Kyrielle about Water Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Kim Rodrigues
Checked by HMS.COM
16 Lines 8syllables each/ 4 Stanzas.
Brenda and Banron bounced slowly on his boat
as the brilliant sun sparkled brightly on the glistening water.
Big and burly he was the boy she sought after in her book.
She smiled bravely as his battered pole slipped smoothly
through the babbling blue surf leaving the sand far behind.
"But why have you brought me to this barren sad place?" Brenda spoke.
Banron sized her up, staring blankly into her soft beryl eyes.
"It is seven leagues beyond the barrier reef that we are bound," he said.
Sea gulls skimmed lazily across the bow of the bobbing boat
as it slowly yet bullheadedly sloshed sprays of salty brine
into brackish basins starting to fill under the benches where they sat.
The sun was intense, battering her senses and beading sweat on her bosom.
"You better take me back Banron," she stated as their destination drew near.
The breeze blew stiff from the opening in a cliff soothing her hot breast
as butterflies stressed the bile in her bubbling stomach making her want to barf.
Believing Banron simply saw her for her body enticed her emotions,
but now she stirred self consciously as he gazed at her from beneath his brutish brow.
As the boat smoothly slid into the cave, before her she beheld a dark brackish stream
"You don't seem to understand beautiful Brenda, I am not Banron, I am Chanron the boatman
and before you lies the river Styx, now, one silver coin, if you please, my sweet baby."
09/19/16