Best Sizable Poems
My Mother-In-Law has passed
so she is no longer here.
Mixed feelings I have
but a little less fear.
She was not my big fan,
was less tolerant than most.
She called me a bum... I thought
'What a strange wedding day toast?'
I was told more than once
my Wife could do better.
She wrote Ann Landers nine times
about me in some letters.
She would scream like a banshee
with a voice unlike silk.
I was always hoping to see her
displayed on a carton of milk.
She was always at our house
so I had no where to flee.
A cold wind would soon follow
killing the leaves on our trees.
Real Estate values have fallen
all over our block.
She kept wearing those short shorts
when out for a walk.
There was a knock on my door
and who did I find?
But a 'Peeping Tom' crying,
'Please close all your blinds.'
A sizable women as she smoked...
had a cough.
When the Lady broke wind...
my car alarm would go off.
We had gone to the beach
and swam late through the night.
She then got a bit hungry
and bit a Great White.
The next day we went to the Zoo
where she was attacked by three apes.
The battle was wild and fierce...
only one would escape.
I arrive early for the service,
it's the least I can do.
Considering our checkered history
and what we've been through.
The people are surprisingly quiet,
they are silent in prayer.
But my thoughts turn quickly to lunch,
what will they prepare?
I will definitely miss her somewhat
as I ponder her fate.
For poor Heaven has gained
a little more weight.
But if Heaven be not
but the other direction.
I have no doubt she will have
the Devil's affection.
We shouldn't speak ill of the dead
as there is no need to flaunt.
They may come back as spirits
determined to haunt.
The Church service is finished
as the mourners depart.
The only thing left
is to put a stake in her heart.
The End
*For those who might be interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day.
Categories:
sizable, funny, humor, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
The dream I had last night was huge,
I mean that thing was large
Much bigger than a bread box
on an ocean going barge
To say it was humongous
wouldn't be far from the truth
It barely fit inside my head
and that should be some proof
It almost seemed gigantic,
the most massive I have seen
Of any evening vision or
an afternoon daydream
I'd even say enormous is
what in my mind I saw
Mammoth, vast or sizable,
you can pick one or all
My sleep last night was restless
after this colossal show
My only wish, I'd wake up soon
and this whole thing would go
But when I woke this morning
I just knew I couldn't win
For I would need another night
to fit the whole thing in
Dream big my friends
Categories:
sizable, dream,
Form:
Rhyme
At our house we had what was called an ‘odd sock drawer,
A place which the whole family could keep odd socks to store.
Quite often the matching sock was to be seen no more.
When the drawer became quite full Mum declared war.
She bought a sizable pack of large safety pins.
And threw the contents of odd socks out, to fill a few bins.
Each of us was given quite a few pins. No more sox would be odd.
Pinned together as we take them off when the last step was trod.
Into the wash they go still tightly pinned together.
Now through thick and thin and any type of weather,
Those pesky socks can’t come apart even if they try.
The dryer doesn’t like their pins so it’s out on the line to dry.
Cheers for Mum she fought the battle with a wink and a nod,
She won the war. Now we have no more socks that are odd.
Now we can fill that draw with anything else that we please.
It seems to be getting filled with miscellaneous keys.
Keys that have been lying around and don’t seem to fit any door.
A place where the whole family could keep odd keys to store.
I wonder how long it will take her to find a solution for odd keys.
Any suggestions accepted. Use the comment section please.
Categories:
sizable, mother,
Form:
Couplet
Aye did not heed the maxim be careful
what you wish for,
cuz now adversity not abate
perhaps helpful for thee reader
if this bard ****
did apprise present woe
by turning time machine backdate
asper how the fickle finger
of thine existence didst create,
a more agonizing situation discerning
scythe leant presaging grim reaper date
now welcomed with
opened arms to extricate
fools paradise by twist,
and shout of cruel fate
e'en locked up in a damp, dank,
and dark dungeon more grate
full, than full blown wraith zing hate
now lemme summarize
woe of this ingrate
where reprieve of death,
would be to good for me to jubilate
perhaps immolation, thence
at the stake burnt offerings
presented to the
"FAKE" trumpeting khanate
hence complete annihilation
the only way to liberate
a guilty conscious weighted down
by Sisyphean sized mill stones
now whit tis time mate
to acknowledge, and try to numerate
whereat one issue found me
reneging and being obdurate
on reimbursing me youngest daughter,
who could not pontificate
why she needed to fork
over monies in relation
to overpayment re
guarding social security,
essentially incumbent on me
on me eek quate
ting to a sizable tidy sum,
finding yours truly i rate
yet refund check she sent
over a year ago, and spate
of anger (born by eldest lass)
unforgivable egregious stonewalling
do to procrastination trait
this papa (rightfully my responsibility)
objects to bearing
brunt of arithmetical error
plus my own meager
very limited fiduciary reserves
induces anxiety to undulate
thus becoming fancy free
and foot loose bachelor
appears as emotionally
cannibalistic (ready
to jump off a bridge)
to shuck off this unbearable weight.
Categories:
sizable, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Metrical Tale
(Dedicated to Silent One --
who doesn't like bigly words.)
After a gentle, soft Summer drizzle
Fine web filaments tingle and glisten
In rainbow beams of fusion sun sizzle --
Stirring all life forms to lift and listen.
It is the season of Creamsicle desires;
Thick leaf foliage, protective sanctuaries;
Creepers, crawlers, jumpers and fliers;
Time dilating into slow-motion centuries:
Conquering the beach -- girls so coy;
Never-ending hours of creative play;
Transcendental fishing -- such a joy;
Floating from Brooklyn to Tokyo Bay
Where the kaiju rise and we gasp a ghost
At their power and our sizable insignificance.
Flipping for monsters -- baseball for most --
Winning a mint-perfect Godzilla -- coincidence?
Independence rockets in the starry, starry night
Over rooftop celebrations of smoke and kissing,
White Castle, Coca-Cola -- and the pizza's alright!
Friends and lovers -- once upon a Summer missing.
Categories:
sizable, absence, beach, desire, friend,
Form:
Quatrain
Dragon and The Sheriff of CrazyLand were in Competition. Yes, again!
You’d think, they would some how learn; it’s always better to be friends.
But not these two! UH Huh! No Way! For a statue was found, to be in play.
You see, an anonymous donor, commissioned a statue for our Park, today.
The final subject, to be determined, by vote of the citizens of Mayhem Falls.
Able to draw tourists from all around, but still worthy of our Hollowed Halls.
They wanted a Landmark, a trademark, a Pulitzer Prize, quality kind of stuff.
It should imbue, the true character, of our dear little Mayhem Falls, not fluff.
All this based on pictures entered, by photographers, to win a big money prize.
Need I remind you, those who go against Dragon, are never really, very wise.
Good deed photos were so very boring so the citizens, decided to help it along.
Two brave souls started arguing whether, in it, did the Sheriff or Dragon belong.
Naturally the Sheriff and Dragon ran over to stop the fight in a most perfect way.
As the Sheriff arrived one of the men, suddenly fell down on the ground, to lay.
The sheriff immediately bent over to help the man get up and stand. Amen!
Dragon, who saw it happen, also came a running, from quite a distance, then….
As he got close the other man tripped Dragon. Oh My! What a Day it had been!
Surprised Dragon let out a sizable flame with his also sizeable roar. Such a din!
Flame hit the Sheriff, in his derriere, thank goodness for his fireproof underwear.
Mind you, it’s not like this has never happened, indeed, it’s often with this pair!
Not surprisingly, the photographer readily documented the moment, so sublime!
Yep! This was the winning photo, which became the trademark in record time.
Also, it became the statue to represent, our great little town, of Mayhem Falls.
Needless to say: Everyone was happy, and it was… A Great News Day after all!
Well, for all except Dragon and the Sheriff of Crazyland who grumbled at…
How they should be represented in a much more classier pose than that…
Written 7-17-2016 Happy Birthday Hubby!
Categories:
sizable, adventure, fantasy, fun, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
Upon the first date (decades ago) with the gal,
whose troth aye did pledge allegiance to wed
we agreed to dine at an ex-mex eatery
in north Wales, Pennsylvania, where angels feared to tread
carefully scrutinizing bon appétit the menu selection,
a touch of Latin lick QED
all American version sans south of the border cuisine –
Quod Erat Demonstrand – translations spit out in rapid fire Hispanic
by a beady eyed inked kid named Ned
whose couture favored a punkish style
with spiked gelled green hair, piercings galore and
necklace with a genetically modified sizable
entombed glass encased amber ked
which beastly fully intact organism with a miniature grisly bear like head
momentarily hypnotizing me tell nudged out of trance sans this egghead
who make a selection by randomly
landing finger on an item feigning to be well bred
unbeknownst to the arbitrary choice this senior made
within an ample number of mouthfuls
of beans and rice that quelled hunger pangs
mine lower gastrointestinal tract,
felt a bubbling sensation played
though impropriety struggled with gaseous mounting perturbations,
what promised to be hot malodorous, would induce an air raid
from this “wind bag”, whose saving grace divine, when wallet of suede
discover herd visa vis tubby devoid of cash, thus and excuse to beat the tirade
of volcanic eruption found me bolting
out the restaurant door fortunately not waylaid
and madly dashing (like some comet fiery dancer)
performing a cheeky number hopping on one foot than the other –
since forceful blast triggered kidneys to be tapped, thus prancer
two step extemporaneously incorporated while await the ATM to disburse cash
legal tender coveted akin to Cupid sprinkling spell of romancer
while expulsion of noxious fumes from thine sphincter from this hob er dasher
brought relief as aye nonchalantly strolled inside
the cozy diner and slipped into me seat
disinclined to relate vents to future spouse,
the bodily aeration and stream of urine from me magic flute
which amazingly synchronized with the Maximus glute
from consuming food triggering tushy to toot.
Categories:
sizable, animal, anxiety, desire, fate,
Form:
Blitz
I slowly stroll across my City's streets and sidewalks,
to observe the lay of this land;
I with my Victorian garb; a daughter of a very doting Father,
many speak of him as royalty.
I hear the joy of my people's hearts as they are at work, as they
are at play.
I know that this is the city in which they and I would like to stay.
For the name of my city is called Cloverway, with beautiful green
clover, which is the carpet which emerges from the emerald forests.
The houses are unique here, built with the tools of skill by those who
have perceptive eyes and extremely keen minds. I myself live in
my very nice country estate where my vineyards bring forth the richest
of grapes.
I lovingly care for them and call them by name. When these grapes are ripe
they are put into the wine press where they give me their very best.
Then after the rich blend is bottled they are placed into my quite sizable wine
cellar... placed upon the shelves, they await their time, for a very long time until
they sing to me that they are ready.
Divine patience has been sought before anyone partakes of these long awaited spirits.
It is never night here, no darkness in the constant light of my Father's face.
I know that he owns many mansions on more of his lands, galaxies both near and
far; for he is not limited by time, or distance.
For all things are now to Him and all things are near.
But I live here in this place, my own mansion if you will.
S.E. Clark
Categories:
sizable, beautiful, blessing, creation, faith,
Form:
Free verse
Doth it not thrill thee, Poet,
Dead and dust though thy art,
To feel how I press thy singing
Close to my heart?
By Richard Le Gallienne
(The Passionate Reader to His Poet)
Mama had a purple leather book
Of Henry Longfellow’s poetry.
She let me read it if I was careful,
And thus honed the love of poetry for me.
I memorized “The Village Blacksmith”
As well as “The Children’s Hour”.
Read “The Song of Hiawatha”
When chased in by a summer’s shower.
I never saw my mama reading it,
For she had to work no end,
But perhaps as with her daughter now,
It had once been her childhood friend.
Literary snobs sniped at Longfellow
As a writer for the masses,
As opposed I guess to the elite
Who penned for higher classes.
He was the most popular American poet
Of any poets of his time.
He could write in many different forms,
In lyric and in rhyme.
He was born in Maine in eighteen ought seven
He died in eighteen eighty two.
For all of his seventy five long years
He knew what he wanted to do.
He was a student of languages
And a highly educated man.
As Harvard professor, earned eight hundred a year.
Just picture that now if you can.
He quit his prestigious position
To devote himself to his art.
An established poet by then
He was successful from the start.
He was receiving three thousand dollars a poem
By the year of Eighteen Hundred Seventy Four.
He’d accumulated a sizable fortune
When he died in just seven years more.
Joyce Johnson 10/30/11 Won a no. 1
For Constance--My Dear Heart's contest The Passionate Reader!
Categories:
sizable, people,
Form:
Verse
A sizable portion of my life
I've passed, slobbering over
The antagonistic ashes
Of an untruth.
Years down the road,
By accident, I exposed;
Though this untruth,
Was deeply entombed in my psyche,
Via a mental backhoe,
Satan periodically excavates it
Sans a spade.
Categories:
sizable, angst,
Form:
Blank verse
WHAT YOU DOING ON THAT BARSTOOL FOOL?
Is that what it takes for you to feel brave?
And why can’t you simply behave?
Don’t you realize it’s transience you crave?
And why do you secret youthful beauty within a cave?
Upon a time once did a wolf sleep with a lamb
Him with lethal teeth and her with a cute little curtsey and curls
That wolf who slept beside her didn’t give a damn
And never cared about the feelings for any of his young girls
silken sheets were where his advantage was taken
For the little lamb would obey his every demand
But by belittlement and a bastard was that lamb forsaken
And the bridge between fangs and curls could never be spanned
Oh but were the lamb to have been on Venus and the wolf upon Mars
Two different planets for two different hearts
The wolf’s teeth turned crimson while the lamb had her scars
As, from that little lamb the wolf purloined her prettiest parts
There was no running away for a lamb held captive in a cave
And fear doesn’t always lead a lamb far away from Mars
The universe isn’t sizable enough to hide what that wolf would crave
And today the memory of my being that wolf keeps me in shooting galleries and seedy bars
© 2011.….Poefree
Categories:
sizable, angst
Form:
Quintain (English)
They have little to call their own;
yet their God’s stays right by their side.
We have plenty, nothing missing,
but parent strings have been untied.
Apron strings, the cords that bind us
to a sense of being needed.
Quite in secret on occasion
our daughter’s fields we have seeded.
A twenty left in coat or purse;
sizable check sent in a card.
Unsigned of course, but Jesus knows
their lives will not be quite so hard.
One surprise we devised to sneak
underneath their Christmas tree -
a substantial voucher from Walmart
for getting gas or groceries.
We were amazed on Christmas day
what we gave was now complete -
a generous gift card for Kroger's
we found taped to our car's front seat.
Categories:
sizable, caregiving, friendship, giving, inspirational,
Form:
Quatrain
I have two pet snakes that I keep in a cage -
I've owned them since I was a very young age.
The elder is Wills and the younger is Harry;
they're perfectly harmless, but look rather scary.
One day as I stood in a sizable crowd,
some guy bumped my snakes and his laugh was quite loud.
So I let one loose in that cramped elevator,
the folks all dashed out and said, "Bye! See you later!"
Categories:
sizable, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
No doubt an Eskimo as fabulous breeze
feeling in their element with style, elan
while snacking on crackers and cheese
this spate of bitter cold doth not seem to ease
as Arctic air blast (oh riff you prefer Polar Vortex)
submerged much of the nation
in what feels like absolute zero,
and no matter the appellation,
the outdoors analogous to being in a deep freeze
brings state of emergency (designated as Code Blue
from drain on bare necessities sans:
energy, food, general habiliments
unable to traverse frozen waterways
obstructing tankers access
to key shipyards, thus imposing
engines of society (Mother Nature decreed
harshly lashed pact with ole man winter)
asper bitter cold temperatures
gripping sizable chunk of United States,
where one step outside induces chattering class
to shiver from hypothermia,
and scant number of minutes will witness rigor mortis
evinced by knocked knees
whereat authoritative figures strongly advise
(nee require) every person to stay home
lest (if heedless) within seconds
their body electric will seize
from unseen large area of low pressure
and cold air surrounds both of Earth's poles
chastising anyone foolish enough
to risk life or limb, thus take a page
from hibernating bears playbook,
and stay under warm covers
collecting countless z's!
Categories:
sizable, earth, environment, fate, humanity,
Form:
Narrative
The trouble with idiot lights,
You see, it’s a problem
That goes, perhaps,
Farther than me.
There's abundant ignorance
That floats in the bog
In a kingdom where machines
Can measure breath’s grog.
More than vast numbers
Aggregating in crime,
There's a feeling that
What is happening.
Somehow, isn't mine.
Big obvious red light, birthed
a message, idiot message on the dash.
Just the observation
Almost made me crash.
The warning, foreboding,
Read simply "check gauges.”
So sitting at the light,
I scanned all the stages
With the sets of information
A car shares on its pages.
I sit, quietly confused,
But the intersection’s raging.
The gas tank wasn't empty,
The oil read fine,
The engine not hot,
Battery volts seemed in line.
Responding to the honks,
I mosey down the road.
The engine’s working fine,
But my head held quite a load,
Of all the problems awaiting
For the idiot who couldn't interpret
The idiot light code.
. . . No problems yet,
A small sigh escapes
But I am mentally set,
Will I fall for the bait?
I would make a sizable bet
That I am sitting
On some universal debt.
Then as I was using
My copier that night,
Beeping techno-barking message,
Really set me to a fright.
A word chain shackled,
Scrolling a last request
"Printer ink low."
Sounds like an open book test.
Try as I might
Following precious words in sight,
Then a new unique message:
"Insert cartridge right."
Just follow instructions?
I’m ready for a fight.
I opened HP's lid
To see what was the matter,
Then came a horrible clacking,
Tic-tic-tic-clicking,
Hardware techno choir prater.
I shut the lid, and said a quick prayer,
Hoping God could save me from taking a dare,
And shooting the damn contraption
Right then and there.
With a web site visit, and many more clicks,
I found a FAQ answer.
My problem would be fixed.
There within the info sheet
Set my big break:
“Think about it, Dummy,
Did you remove the pink tape?”
So now, I sit here, contemplating,
Perhaps, I should consider
Getting out more, and dating.
The odds are better
. . . with two idiots instead of one.
Categories:
sizable, angst, computer-internet, confusion, education,
Form:
Burlesque