Best Shorts Poems

Why am I running round this table
Getting sweaty and looking a sight
Someone said it would enable
Me to lose some weight, I hope they’re right

A tiny bat an even smaller ball
Goes flying past my head
Didn’t even see it, ref makes a call
Think I lost is what...

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Have you ever thought back and remembered a time,
when poor judgment nearly cost you… your prime.
There were fifty-22 cal bullets in the ammo box I found,
 mishandling Remington’s bullets… could put you in the ground.

Putting the box in my pocket, thinking what should I do?
Squeeze...

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O ther misconceptions of my
H ome of birth and where I spent some of my

Y outh is that 
E veryone lives in mud huts and wears grass
S kirts as tourists are greeted at the airport.

B ermuda is a place of 
E xceptions in that as...

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Patrick Ewing
  What you chewing?

Larry Bird
  Hall-of-Fame assured

Scottie Pippen
  Lid's still flippin'

Tim Duncan
  Legacy hasn't sunk in

Bill Bradley
  Didn't play badly

Walt Frazier
  Sharp as a razor

Moses Malone
  The backboard you owned

George (The Iceman Cometh) Gervin
  a-wigglin' and...

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Written By:  D. Collins 1/5/2018

We are taking no shorts on this time around.
Respect will be given when we roll into town.
Empathy is what they say got us the first Super Bowl.
Katrina was in '05, yet 2010 is what we stole.


They're a lot of people...

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Five in the morning
storm rumbles in distance
balmy, sweaty, thirsty
in the half light of dawn
I grab some shorts
from the work clothes draw
slip them on and a singlet
down some water
birds sing, crickets harmonize

When I fill another glass of water
I think something is odd
 with these shorts 
some...

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Madras Shorts

Nineteen-sixty-five
Red Blue green dyed colored plaid
Too bad they don't fit....

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When I see pretty young chickies, an idiot I become
Wearing those short shorts and showing their wee bums
I drool and I sweat
All aroused I do get
Those cheeks need massaging, I volunteer to do some


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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the accidental brazilian ~ never nair dare go there again



;),...

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Was it warm last week?
Or have I really not done
Laundry in THAT long?...

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Who is this man in the small red shorts and very dark hair?
Strutting through a garbage heep garage without a care?
It was like looking at a store and most certainly not green,
The ecological damage of over purchasing could be seen.

He was grooving through this mess...

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Each day that I get up and greet the new dawn
Posing at the mirror,first..to see what changes have been going on
My eyes cannot look at what lies before me
55'waist on a 5ft 7 frame
These hands reach into the old treasure chest in the closet
I open...

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Naughty, naughty, really naughty
Oh how I love being naughty
Gets everybody's shorts in a knot
When I write humour that's potty

Relax my friends, they're only words
Let's not get all high and mighty
We all partake in potty humour
With some of us it happens nightly

Helps the love play along...

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My ode to shorts---
We look like fat dorks,
When it's not so cold,
Even if we're so old,
Can't hide varicose veins,
Old age doesn't go away,
We know we look dorby,
We're all well past forty,
Summer's so darn hot,
Heat's a bit of a shock,
We know we're fat dorks,
Has anyone really...

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Watching young girlies walk by in the mall
Can still get a rise out of me
With their shorter than short shorts and halter tops
Tsk, tsk, thinking bad thoughts, are we?

Just purely for their copious youthful energy
This exuberant younger generation
It's got nothing to do with gawking or...

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