Best Shiela Poems
Incredibly hung ,
with the one bung lung,
And kidneys not quite a failing,
He went to the dentist ,
Tooth reefed out,
Sucked ciggys without inhaling.
The guys in the bar,
Sucked on cigars,
Checked him, the toilet, ha,
Were enthral led with ,
The girth n gift ,
“how come it are”
Said, “Wear no jocks,
Or stinking feet socks,”
Too big for the average shiela,
She took one quick look,
Went back to her book,
Said jam it in a jam jar.
Aha.
Don Johnson
watch out for the jammy jars,
plum jam or apricot good tuckers are,
but not 4 jamming Jimmy...ha,
not 4 jamming Jimbob...
Zorro of the sorrow small,
kissed a lady in the hall,
coming back still feeling bliss,
caught the same girl, was a miss,
not Carmelita at all.
thinking she was,
Carmelita in the dark,
kissed her mouth,
hands did wander way on south,
had a pistol nothing neater.
panting sweet was Carmelita,
fire burning in her heater,
enraptured plunging, something sweeter
stayed until the time had come.
spent the Zorro's, brow did furrow,
coming to the candle light,
Where was the sweetest Carmelita,
some old shiela smiling bright?
Zorro said "oh good to meet ya,"
bounding on black Diablo, in flight!
Don Johnson 14-aug-11
I am bored with Solitude
Don’t need no more of solitude
No need to walk alone
No need of blessings multitude
New Bessy please come home
To feed yourself in solitude
To bother not to care
Baked beans on toast the gratitude
Me dog does like em yair……(Aussie slang)
Motivate an move myself
To where a shiela lurks
To catch her eye the mission, else
It’s not going to work
Talk endless waffle to her then
Confuse her in my sight
Hypnotise her catch her once again
My eyes do hold her right
Don Johnson
Sweet n Dumpy
I’m a bit of a brute when I’m out in me ute,
When the road rage gets me a bit grumpy,
I’m feeling beaut like hairy galoot,
The meat on this Shiela is lumpy,
got me a girl might give her a whirl,
short at one end and quite dumpy,
she always slaps me round the head,
I nibble her ears twice monthly,
I must have me meat ,
Cos me toenails compete,
With me claws and the fangs in me head,
The life blood so sweet,
Fills the void just a treat,
But still, there’s sweet dumpy instead.
Don JohnsonMatt Caliri
Contest Name Wolfman Falls In Love
Mulga Mick
The ice was thick round Mulga Mick,
His thoughts were in disorder,
Shiela had gone off with another chick,
Got the “Raw Prawn” bloody sort of,
His car had died when a Roo he tried,
To eat the old cars number plate,
Death slapped down, upon the Roo applied,
Destroyed the water radiator,
So staggering through the ice an snow,
Was poor ole Mulga Mick,
He wore the Roo hide, wrapped you know,
Pocket knife had skinned it quick.
Roo tail soup for Mulga Mick,
Before he walked away,
He staggered back to the township,
Catch a new lady is the only way.
Don Johnson
John, when your girl runs off with another girl,
you feel like you've been given a raw prawn. aussie slang ...
Tony, like mcguyver you have to use what's available to survive....
Astral Passion
I talk to the spiritual traveller
upon the astral plane
they threaten to visit me in the night...
Seemed imagination, it can work
get confirmed, yes she did lurk...
brings on another smirk, of
The most delightful type
Dreams are lovely when erotic
4 us guys it is hypnotic
my dream was very physically for me
hooked like a drug narcotic
no I wasna not psychotic
not just imagination did
I really feel and see:)
Imagination is so much better
than reality, go getter
come visit me if you will
some moonless night
No you won’t be clad in fetters
Naked so much the better
a lovers kiss, a tender thrill tonight
the bold and the profane will wander
down this lane
for a lapse into insanity, not quite :)
Don Johnson
I talk to women on the poetry soup site and put up verses ...one was
sposed to visit and i had an erotic dream
very physical bloody real almost ....with a blonde shiela??? really
nice it was ***
"Stay away from darkness,
get back in the light,
dodge them nasty shielas,
and do it diddly dum right."
Darkness
Yes mate i know the darkness,
the sadness deep within,
had a flirting shiela, heartless,
drove me crazy, deeper sin,
she had a mother making plans,
to catch a rich man, for her daughter,
so I was cast aside again,
went bush, me life, to sort of?
A stray chick in the bar,
Said "toss her off your shoulder,"
Good advice, yes bloody sir,
Catch a new horse, fore I’m older,
We do serve time with people,
That we owe, for things of past,
Christine gave me everything,
Devoted to the last!
I swore an oath to remain unhooked,
Till death, the last sure path,
Me little heart is over wrought,
When women do depart :(
Don Johnson
~ A Rambling Poet ~
Contest Name A Poem, Please
Do
Do what I can ,
But but maybe old man,
I can’t do what I wanna do,
Less I can catch a good holt,
Can’t do the sweet bolt,
Till I catch me a shiela , true blue,
Do think it is slack,
But, just never look back,
Till the fowls flap, wherever they flew.
Paula Swanson
Contest Name How Due You Dew
Tribulations
ah well i guess we never will
have a need for the good old pill
goodnight sweet lady not to dance
or feel the taste of sweet romance
and often by the moons cold light
I saw her face record delight
But that was just the other night
Since then she casts no favour
So sitting here beneath the moon
I see her face but much too soon
My lady seemed about to swoon
No, she’s another raver?
So taken by the shortened breath
Left alone and desolate
Perplexed as anger burns and yet
Should I resort to strangers
The drink goes down the eyes do glaze
I’m in this queerest bar
A shiela sweet our eyes do meet
Soon heading for my car
We get undressed, though I’m depressed
The warning sign they are
She has no breast upon her chest
Oh no, it’s a bloody shirt lifterrr ?
Don Johnson 6-may-11
Lationshippers blues
relationships the ebb n flow,
are they the one, its hard to know,
some never let, true feelings show,
the end result regret,
another game n set,
busted heart throb throes,
like a punch in the bloody nose,
better luck next time ol Mose,
catchem shiela if m let....
thanks Russell Siveys :Finding reality"
Don
sleeping (( COLLABORATION * Don Johnson ))
by~ DON JOHNSON
The Nullabor it does abhor
the desert in it standing
The broken heart
he keeps apart
where Eagles are a landing
kangaroo is prolific cos good seasons bring in millions
they shoot them for the last hundred years,
Hoppy is still there in millions
Almost a plague after rain
The cure the joy the madness ploy, just catch a little Shiela
but broken hearts tend to self destroy
The one true love, to feel her
so searching for the lock of eyes upon the Nullabor
kangaroo does abound, dead straight the road for sure
Ironic tale sour grapes inhale,
He sleeps upon the plain
his swag is near the old Ute, and the dog is ever watchful
his protector is a beaut
~civilization calls~
he has to go back to the city streets
And searching ever searching for the eyes of lady sweet.
***by~ POET D:
Searching and searching till weak eyes fall asleep.
~civilization calls~
Calls the plague of raining streets!
The sleeping kangaroo took me into the abyss of sour grapes.
A wildlife with wildfire turned over by wildflowers.
Seascapes; full of sand that no one dared to understand!
Drowning underwater in a universe that had no expand.
Where the passer-by's felt the expression of sadness in his sleeping face.
All it took was experiencing the world with one lonely look.
A grain of salt, in the night sky!
Where clouds ‘walk-sneak and / clouds-cry like a whirlpool’,
Tears from a near by fountain deep in a valley.
Where we can sing for roo's sleeping heart.
Death in a wild flower mourning asleep on the hour.
Seeing’ is believing when Shiela appeared.
Drying tears with her sweet eyes over the desert lands.
A Collaboration with *DON JOHNSON
~MY COLLABORATION CONTEST~
Aussie stood in his chaff bag kilt,
bandy knees, didna give it, it's tilt,
the steam was arising too,
just come from woolloloo,
shiela said "man, Gawd but he's built."
thanks Dave Williams....
Nette,
if ya got it flaunt it,
some shiela said that's torn, wit,
Aussie kilts are yet denied,
though we have the Scottish pride,
just a promise it will fit:)
Don Johnson
Lake Eliza
Out by poor old Lake Elisa lived a moody ancient miser.
Who bemoaned his fate throughout the livelong day.
lived further west than Isa out where the heat and flies are.
So he plotted as he moaned "I'll find a way?".
Oh this fellow loved a lady one Cherolyn O'Grady,
so besotted while he sauntered from insanity to mad.
For it seems she was his sister Joe O'Grady never kissed her,
She'd run off to Coolgardie selling favours to the sad.
Oh it seems his mind could wander,
through the desert just out yonder.
It got sunstruck when his hat it blew away.
In his youth there'd been a Rhonda.
Who'd enticed him made him fonder.
But the tribe had gone on walkabout the next day .
Though really none the wiser, he set out from the Isa,
Went to Brisbane met a shiela sweet and gay.
It was down in the Valley, she had whiskers this O'Malley,
blue round the jowls, Joe loved her anyway.
She took him home to her place into the bedroom they raced,
Joe's mouth it opened slackjawed in suprise .
For it seems she wasn't dinkum through the haze of grog he's drinking.
Saw parts of her to trade for many lies.
This city woman strange wanted money had no change,
Took his fifty as she pushed him out the door .
Hooked like a dog to mange, could a wedding he arrange?
But she dumped him anyhow cos Joe was poor.
So back to Lake Elisa went this sodden whinging miser.
Drowning sorrows O.P. rum, drinking bottles by the score,
Just a little sad but wiser, now he'd never leave Elisa. So he drank himself to death
there by her shore...by Don Johnson
Foul fowl
I was staggering to the mall,
in my own decrepid way,
When I got accosted by a Shiela,
who shook my hand said ‘hey’,
Busy as a flustered bee,
I brushed her off today,
A parting quip from her it came,
“With rotten breath, I'd not be game,
To walk the streets, like sweet Igraine,
A toilet duck would drown in pain,
This bludger is insane,
Beware foul, fowl, hey, hay.”
Don Johnson
i have this affect on women....
The Red Devil, Bronco Johnson in 75
I lived in Morningside, moved in a massage parlor girl
2 kids a Kangaroo dog and a white rat called Merle (Greyhound roo catcher)
We had a druggie ambo man, so Wayne put her in his bed
And they’d be a smoking weed, the Ambo and Mildred
Of course she had a Bludger who lived on her wage of sin...(pimp)
So Wayne chased him out to work used my stock whip on young Jim
Seems she started working from the house, clients were coming in
Commonwealth Police watched the place, we went to New Farm slim
Jenny came to visit me and Wayne he had Estelle
I worked at the Hacienda and the Jet club as well (Bouncer)
Estelle was jealous, maybe Jane was on the side
Estelle married a 21 year old, 42 the blushing bride
Wayne went to the local café to get a burger feed
Said how you doing Charlie Brown to a dark and swarthy weed
Who said “I’m ok mate just take a plurry look,”
Car load on the footpath, all his brothers and a chook (shiela)
Rubbish dumped on the street, we had gone and seen
Soon we had some furniture and a washing machine
We shoved some fellas to get through, then in the boot she’d ride
Discovered later it was new, plastic on the wringer side
So Wayne went back to Charleville or maybe places north
To fly across the flooded creeks, fast for all he’s worth (60mph)
For the highway does a beckon, yes he’s still a driving on
And I surely really miss him and I can’t believe he’s gone
Don Johnson
Wife stealing cousin Wayne died of prostate in 07 ?
He had stolen my wife in 1998 :)
But them's the breaks hey:)
60 miles and hour across flooded creeks