Best Santas Poems

Santa came home with a reindeer
And Mrs Claus said with a sneer
‘Did you have to bring
That horny old thing?’
Rudolph said, ‘Madam, he lives here.’




13 December 2021
For: I Need A Good Laugh: Xmas Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich...

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Santas little helpers were busy having fun
Wrapping and labelling the presents ready for the Xmas run

The reindeer had their coats washed smelt of lavender and things
The sleigh had been revarnished was now bright and glowing.

The reigns were now polished as a surprise for Santa Claus
So...

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There's something I'd like Santa, may I ask,
I don't want lots of presents, just this one,
delivery won't be an easy task
so do the rest, leave mine till later on.
As long as you can drop her off by dawn
since I don't want the neighbours all to...

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Santa’s Responsibility Rap
Loch David Crane 
July 2, 2006

Santa's jolly all year long
	he’s such a happy soul;
but if ya ever cross him
	he’ll put you in a hole.

Santa’s very red and white
	he knows who's good and bad.
His character assessment
	shows us what a life you’ve had.

So obey your...

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Dear Santa,

Remember that wish, to spend time with Dragon, you wanted to come true.
Well, we’ve found a way to make that wish, for you, to really, come true.
Now, don’t expect anything to go in a very usual and in a controllable way.
With Dragon, things just...

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Christmas is in the air,
Santa is getting prepared,
Trying to fit into last years suit feels weird,
A little more weight that's what I feared,
Trying to get into his pants he tore the rear,
Getting into his jacket,rip,rip,arms tear,
Exposing Santa tall white hair,
Ho,ho,ho,I am not scared,
Snapping his fingers,Rudolph...

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Santa’s loaded sleigh,
Streaking past the Christmas moon;
Dodges bats and drones.

...

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I’ve gained some weight and I can see my beard is turning white,
To get the kid’s presents put under the tree I stay up half the night.

In order to read the tags I have to wear my reading glasses,
My wife just brought me a tray...

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Hoof and sleigh tracks, in the snow; The telltale signs of Santa’s visit.
Presents beneath a brightly lit tree; jingling bells in the distance.
There’s nothing like, waking up on Christmas morning.
...

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Santa’s new “iPhone”, 
Filled with Christmas gift orders;
Oops, it won’t work now!
...

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I... thought Santa was cool,
Until he came into the house.
The old fart was pissed an swearing,
And what we saw, even killed my mouse.

He fell through the chimney,
On the embers in the fire place.
In colourful words he expressed his pain,
Which showed in his sooty red face.

He...

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I waited For Santa, I stayed up all night
I then saw the fat man, no undies in sight.
A bag he had hanging, t’was big red and bright
Ah yes I saw Santa, he swings left to right ....

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Twas the night
Before Christmas and 
As Santa tries to
Go down a chimney
The fireplace was lit
And his pants caught fire
So, he hurries and 
Crawls back-up the chimney
Looking like a 
Ball of fire as he
Jumps into the snow
Trying to put the fire out
After he puts it out
Santa...

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'Twas the Night before Christmas and I must confess,
the year 1987, started out just like all of the rest,
with christmas lights twinkling from everyone's dwelling,
but believe me it was different and far more compelling!'

'I'm Sarah, a reporter, who's delivering this tale,
from Chris' own journal this...

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Santa’s Pride
Santa Claus went out for a walk one day
And caught his misses rolling in the hay
His heart exploded
They'd been devoted
Then he saw her leading Rudolph away.

Mrs Claus waved with a smile a mile wide
The poor woman had got nothing to hide
Rudolph had been sick
His...

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