Jan Allison Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

Submitted to Richard's Beginnings Matter Contest  - It had taken a month of badgering by my friend jenny Brewer to even pluck up courage to post my poems - I wondered how my humour would be appreciated!
~awarded 2nd place~

A true story!

written on 2/2/2014

submitted on 08/03/21  to YOUR PERSONAL FAVORITE Poetry Contest
Sponsored by L MILTON HANKINS

 

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DP2WMHPR 

TOILET HUMOUR AND RISQUE RHYMES BOOK

 

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CPW4KVND

A GIGGLE A DAY ... CAN CHASE THE BLUES AWAY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to poem:

Just Desserts

I was at my favorite restaurant and I'd had a lovely meal,
if I finished all my food then a pudding was the deal
I’d relished every morsel and was pleased as a Cheshire cat,
the dessert menu was on its way, oh I couldn’t wait for that

The waitress brought the menus, I rubbed my hands with glee,
oh sticky toffee pudding, now that’s the one for me
She came to take the order – we had waited as you do,
turning to me she said ‘now Madam, what can I get you’

Oh stiffy cockie pudding please was my swift reply -
I didn’t realize what I’d said till I saw tears form in her eye.
I went as red as a beetroot and the others began to laugh,
at my spoonerism which turned into a complete gaffe

The pudding it came quickly but I couldn’t wait to leave,
I choked on every mouthful, how my stomach it did heave
So please take notice of my error on this horrendous day,
if you order sticky toffee pudding be careful what you say!

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Andrea Dietrich March 7, 2026 at 11:00 AM Great entry. Not the first time you wrote of this famous dessert . I don't think they have it in the states. Way to go with a win . Maybe if he asks for favorites in the future , I can give my funniest poem as well! (Fruidan slip btw?) Jan Allison April 25, 2026 at 2:55 AM thanks Andrea, I performed this poem on stage in front of 600 people - who would have thought my hubbies cancer surgery would have got me started writing xx

Constance La France March 6, 2026 at 3:48 AM Jan, so funny and I loved hearing your delightful voice. Congratulations on your win in Seth's contest ~ Jan Allison April 25, 2026 at 2:54 AM thanks so much Constance xx

Mark Toney March 8, 2025 at 1:11 PM Hi Jan. I appreciate your support for my Flash Poetry Challenge (11). Your poem was randomly chosen to be featured in my 'Results' blog, which is now up and running. I am at a loss for words! Jan Allison March 8, 2025 at 3:05 PM LOL Mark, I wanted to be known for my humour when i joined soup - it is my favourite ever poem, a true story lol. It is the first poem in my first book and the last poem in the second book as it is the beginning and end of my book journey! hugs Jan xx

John Read October 13, 2024 at 11:17 AM Hi Jan just read and also listen to your wonderful poem, I had a feeling you were posh, after listening to your voice my feelings were realised lol,added poem to my favourite's. Xx Jan Allison October 13, 2024 at 12:06 PM ha ha ha I am creased up John, i am merely a poop poet and I am not posh by any stretch of the imagination lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Benjamin Bartley August 27, 2024 at 4:29 PM Fantastic beginning! Wow, you've been here a long time. I feel like such a neophyte. A babe in the making even though I'm old. Is that you actually reading your own poetry? Apparently, people can get AI to do it for them. Strange world we live in. Wow, I can't wait to read more but where do I go next? Any favorites you'd like to share? Jan Allison August 27, 2024 at 4:43 PM If you like humour then have a look at my limericks - there are lots on here!! Jan Allison August 27, 2024 at 4:42 PM Yes. its my voice recording Benjamin, I started to write when my hubby was in cancer surgery in 2013, my journey into poetry is odd as I hated poems at school and never wrote until 2013 and joined soup in 2014 - took my friend 3 months to persuade me to join!!, I've learned so so much but developed an aptitude for humour especially limericks and self published a book on Amazon last year 366 poems - called 'a giggle a day ... can chase the blues away. working on my next (and last book) hugs jan xx

James Peranteau April 1, 2024 at 5:53 PM you are The quintessential story teller dear poet! again...though so belated (((((claps)))))ty much love ') James Peranteau April 2, 2024 at 4:35 AM the accolades must have cauzed your goose's tuh bump ;) I'm thankful to have bumped into your assstutch; oh my, exuze me...astute Jan...ty ') Jan Allison April 2, 2024 at 1:50 AM This is the first poem in my humour book, it is my all time favourite. i recited it on stage in front of 600 people including my mum lol - not bad for someone who had never been on stage before and a total novice to poetry until 2013! hugs jan xx

Gershon Wolf February 28, 2024 at 8:19 PM Thought I'd check out your very first poem on the soup tonight, Jan. It sure is you, alright. lol. Keep us in stitches, please -- the kind the doctor doesn't use... Jan Allison April 2, 2024 at 1:50 AM Thanks GW:-) hugs Jan xx

James Horn January 27, 2024 at 5:19 PM Is that cockney? Have missed you over the years, Looks like 2016 was a great year for us. Jim Horn Jan Allison April 2, 2024 at 1:51 AM Thanks James, sorry for the late reply I am not on soup much but working on my 2nd humour book:-) hugs Jan xx

Jeff Connelly August 20, 2023 at 7:35 AM Lololol Jan... This poem is absolutely hilarious as well as simply brilliant!!!

Ironic Zink March 14, 2022 at 3:09 AM Still my favorite!

Regina Mcintosh September 24, 2021 at 3:05 PM I love this, Jan... so hilarious! God bless you sweet friend,. love, Gina

John Watt August 5, 2021 at 10:17 AM Jan, always love reading this "pun foem" and re-living with you the horror of the moment that you are now able to laugh about. It's a good thing you didn't also try to order "pop corn"! Hugs ~ smart feller

Tom Cunningham August 5, 2021 at 3:10 AM Lol loved this one Jan, what makes it funnier is the fact its based on a true story. Bet you wanted the floor to open. Congrats on your win. Tom. You sound very posh.

Paula Goldsmith August 4, 2021 at 3:10 PM Back with Congratulations on this win. Keep a smile going. Have a great/blessed day................

Beryl Edmonds August 4, 2021 at 2:01 PM Jan, I love this poem, read it before and often think of it if I go out with the girls and it’s on the menu. Congratulations on your placement in Milton’s contest… Belle

Garima Dubey August 4, 2021 at 12:55 PM This was quite hilarious Jan and you have a very sweet voice^_^

Susan Ashley August 4, 2021 at 11:26 AM Dear Jan, it is a delight to return and partake of this exquisite hilarity once again. Congratulations for your excellent win in Milton's contest with this amazing, engaging, LOL piece. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Sam Kauffman August 4, 2021 at 10:59 AM Absolutely hilarious Jan! I'm so so sorry your verbal slip left such a bad taste in your mouth and ruined your desert! But, that being said your poem has left a delicious smile on my face and a giggle on my lips. Congrats, kudos and high fives foryour win! Jan Allison August 4, 2021 at 11:21 AM My friends still tease me every time we go out lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. August 4, 2021 at 10:25 AM Hi Jan, Congratulations on your win. Have a great day:-) Alexis Jan Allison August 4, 2021 at 11:20 AM Thanks Alexis and thanks for the mail too:-) hugs Jan xx

L Milton Hankins August 4, 2021 at 9:09 AM Jan, I loved this poem which I originally read it, but I had forgotten who wrote it. Shame on me! I was pleased to see and read it again. Good writing. Congratulations on your placement in my contest. L Milton Hankins August 4, 2021 at 12:20 PM I love your sense of humor. Good write. Jan Allison August 4, 2021 at 11:20 AM Thanks Milton I was unsure if you would like the humour for your contest but it is my # 1 favourite and always will be:-) hugs Jan xx

Dale Gregory Cozart August 4, 2021 at 9:00 AM Hilarious!! Congrats. Jan Allison August 4, 2021 at 11:19 AM Thanks Dale!:-) hugs Jan xx

Susan Ashley June 3, 2021 at 6:44 PM Dear Jan, back with congrats for your wonderful win in Juliet's contest with this splendid and ohh soo funny poem. It was a delight to experience your hysterical faux pas once again. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan Jan Allison August 4, 2021 at 11:19 AM thanks Susan it will always be my all time favourite poem!:-) hugs Jan xx

Paula Goldsmith May 24, 2021 at 9:21 AM Congratulations on your win. What a cute/fun write. Thanks for giving me a much needed laugh. Have a blessed day/week................ Jan Allison May 24, 2021 at 11:40 AM Thanks Paula despite recent negativity aimed at me by certain people on soup I will never stop trying to raise a smile:-) hugs jan xx

Juliet Ligon May 23, 2021 at 7:07 PM Thanks for entering your original poem, Jan. Your poem was fun to read. This was a difficult contest to judge. Keep up the creativity. Juliet Ligon May 25, 2021 at 8:32 AM Oh wow, that's quite the honor! Jan Allison May 24, 2021 at 11:39 AM Thanks Juliet, i recited this poem in front of over 600 people at a charity event, it will always be my favourite poem for so many reasons:-) hugs Jan xx

Marilene Evans May 23, 2021 at 2:12 PM A cute one. Congratulations! Jan Allison May 23, 2021 at 3:00 PM my fave ever poem lol:-) hugs Jan xx

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