Best Rats Poems
I am in my house,
With a panicked mouse.
Coming back from the fridge
Going through the sand-ridge
Into its hole in a jiffy
Then squeaking out - Yippee !
Then come two rats
With a hard pat on the back
Running along with its mate
Making things obfuscate
Around the bagful of nickels
Crossing the jar full of pickles
The rat and its mate came back trotting
With a block of cheese that was rotting
After some time in a line
Came a parade f rats and mice
With and hats and lice.
Everyone was mournful
But a mouse eating a mouthful
Who was happy and glad
Was making everyone sad.
He ate with nosh
Wearing a hat that was posh
After hogging and stuffing
He got up puffing,
Ready for his quest
Sqeaking good bye to the rest,
He leaped across a runnel
And ran into a thicket
Never to be spotted again.
Rats rats rats
I’m scared of creepy crawly rats
Thay have beedy eyes and a long slivering tail
And the ones around here are as big as cats.
Rats rats rats
There’s countless millions everywhere
Nesting in your knicker draw
And crawling trough your hair
Rats rats rats
I was staggering home pickled from the pub last night
When I saw the whole ground move like a giant carpet
It gave me such a fright
They can crawl from the sewer into your toilet bowl
And bite you on your bum
So always check you haven’t one.
Rats rats rats
Their dirty and have fleas
They breed and multiply so fast
And they say they spread disease
When I'm in my bed at night
i get under the covers
Holding my pillow tight
Just in case one crawls through the window
What a fright..
Rats rats rats
Their intelligent creatures so they say
I’d never hurt a tame one
Just keep them rats away.
peter dome. Copyright.2015.Dec.
Trouble, trouble in the mown rye!
Sneaky snakes slither round and by,
silently squeezing through rubble
in the mown rye, trouble, trouble!
Sneaky snakes eat rats in the field,
mice and bugs that damage the yield.
Common problems farmers must beat.
Rats in the field, sneaky snakes eat.
Friendship extends to snakes today.
Sneaky snakes are welcome to stay.
Sneaky snakes are the farmers' friends.
To snakes today, friendship extends.
Give thanks, give thanks to sneaky snakes!
The farmers' friends that up the stakes
keeping deeds away from the banks!
To sneaky snakes give thanks, give thanks!
The King lies in state.
His armour stands in the hall.
He died very young.
What vile devil killed the King?
Rats are running on the floor.
There could be rats and snakes hiding in here.
Yes, I am talking about asps and cobras, big ones.
Hiding under the bed, no, not in my head, under my bed.
Okay, what about way back there, in the darkest corner?
Did you check out THAT corner? My voice is rising. I hear it crack.
Better take my flashlight and look hard this time. No, not in my head.
Under my bed.
Well, no the rat would not be. He is hiding in the closet.
A big gray monster with that hideously ugly pink rat tail.
He is probably under that pile of clothes. Not that pile, the other pile.
It might take you awhile to find him. He’s really sneaky.
Probably eating my new jacket.
Can you read me another story while you are here and can I have
two more cookies? What about a drink of water? I am thirsty.
And I have to go to the bathroom again. No, don’t leave, yet.
If you do, I am a goner. Please leave the flashlight, PLEASE!
New York City is overrun by rats!
And is driving the poor citizens bats.
Guv'mint will botch extinction.
They ne'er act with distinction.
I'd suggest they bring in legions of cats!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Rodents that stealthily invade a home,
Agile and able to crawl through tight spaces.
Troublesome pests that chew holes and leave droppings,
Scurrilous scavengers with beady-eyed faces.
8/23/13
For Andrea Dietrich's Four Letter Word Acrostic contest.
Lower you say? No way!!!!!!
Sewer rats fare better
Politicians are the bottom
Of this poetic society
Yet for all their failings
We are protected
We are spoiled
Laziness is our new Idol
Oh let us sit on our chairs
Ranting poetic verse
Let us not lift a finger
Contributing to society, this must surely be a sin
Besides, if we endeavor to help?
Will they not label us politicians?
NO NO NO not that
Let me complain!!!!!!!!
He who complains is KING
Power corrupts!!!
This is true
The fools who don’t vote
Keep them there like glue
You too can be a politician
If you really care
To get off your azz
Go change the world, I dare you
Oh wait you shall see
Not so easy in that high moral chair
With all your critics climbing to demolish
Re-election is a love affair
Brave men and woman have died
So that you can have freedoms and the vote
Be ashamed if you are a critter on the couch
Of those fine men who died for your right
To do nothing
Yelping like dogs and complain, sure feels good
Politicians are people just like you, yuck!!!!!
Good and bad there is no doubt
When good men fail to speak out
Bad ones fill their shoes
So I say this to all
Stop your laziness……fools
For surely, the fool is the one
Who selects the king he does not want
Unless of course
He was busy with a nap and missed it all
If you are not a politician
Who are you?
I dare ask?
Notes: This sure is not meant to defend politicians, this is meant as a humorous write to show that not all things are so black and white. I certainly do no like the current state of affairs, but I do know this, not participating, not contributing, not helping to make things better, not getting involved, are not the answers. People died for our freedoms, and we have become to lazy to stand up for them. If you don’t like who is in Office, then by all means let’s make it you who is in Office. Many good politicians are saddened that when they get there, they have no support. Here is a happy thought, when you wake up each day ask yourself, “what can I do today, to make this world a better place” and it can be the smallest of details, all great things start with a seed!
Happy Days to all you Soupers!
Masters of theft
Morally retarded
With devious stealing methods
For people, today they steal
From them, tomorrow they steal
Skewing the popular concept of morality
The execuTHIEVES among rodents
Leading players in series of shocking scandals
With gross misconducts running the gamut of vices
Devious financial dealings and embezzlements
Shall I compare thee to rats?
The societal rats in human clothing
Faithless shipmates, residents of trash heaps.
Even candidates for public offices
Stripped grain warehouses
Eaten entire field of tomatoes
And other vegetables
Waves of tree climbing rats
Have stormed orange groves
And devoured the fruit
Roof rats have descended after the dark
To nip at sleeping children and adults
The then 'holy' one,
So easily stoop to thievery.
Wallowing in wanton moral filths
Manifestoes are less important
You only appear to take a satanic
And moronic relish in splashing thy vulgarities
Into the face of the public
Unless thou anchor thy knowledge to moral foundation,
The ultimate result will be dust and ashes.
Dust and ashes that will bury the hopes
And monuments of men beyond recovery
For one I cannot understand
the mentality abandoning logic and reasoning
Firstly within the people of this island
cutting the allowance for those with disabilities
this should be slammed as an attack on the most vulnerable
Where doctors preforming abortions get a big pay rise
and the government also getting rewarded for a job well done
Pat on his back spineless everything we stand for charity wise
it has gone out the window within none christian lawless brats
in such manners that attacks anyone that supports the vulnerable cause
these liberal ideas where knowledge is concerned
has lost the plot with bad backward peddling political skills
when it comes to speaking the truth lets boil it to the bone
when our tax money is used to butcher the innocent
this island has lost all backbone to voice opposition
we should bring the capital to a complete standstill
and call this government under civil rights for what they are
To step down from power in the non democratically elected seats
those they claim to hold against the ballot traitors
the good people are sick of those that push sin as natural law
corrupt every last one of you are to the core
which digs down into the root of all evil
take a good look at your soul purpose drawn before your fall
There lives a puppy named Weasel
She's almost big as a diesel
Artists paint her on their easel
She can be found digging up bones
Her heart is as wild as a deer
She's amazing - she's without fear
Her hair grows in spite of the shear
She eats so she may get gallstones
Her mind is stirred up by the cats
At night, she'll chase after the bats
I once caught her chasing the rats
She is spayed but still has hormones
Her time is spent near the river
Sometimes, she eats things like liver
Her soul is kind - she's a giver
On the web, she uses our phones
Her joy is found in hues of pink
She'll pick that one without a blink
If you pet her, she'll give a stink
Living with her gives me love tones
Her light falls soft on any heart
She's lovable, warm and so smart
Yet, she may smile, look up and fart
When she visits vets she gets cones
Her life has been one filled with hope
Mind, soul and spirit, she can cope
She is happy - won't ever mope
I promise, my heart, Weasel owns
Tall Tales 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Jeff Kyser
April 6, 2022
Don’t go into the garden, Maude;
I think the rats are back.
Stay with me a while
We’ll lie here and listen to the
Singsong of pingpong from below.
But don’t go into the cellar,
It smells of bicycle oil
And rotted cabbage,
Of plums in jars clad
in white mould.
Yes, look, see how they hang
From the branches,
Dainty like dancers,
So elegant
For all the weight of their
Disease-bloated rancid
Flesh.
Leave them the nuts,
Come back from the window.
The birds are all dead, anyhow.
Frozen into the sky, don’t you see?
Come back and be with me,
We’ll recline a while.
Don’t leave me, Maude,
The rats are at the door,
Listen, their tiny nibbles
Patter like rain against
The glass, and the night
Climbs down all cold claws.
Silence, now.
The last bounce echos.
The rats lie dead too,
So comely as cadavers,
Don’t you think, Maude?
Maude?
My garden backs onto a farm
Which shouldn’t cause any alarm
With so much fresh air
I’m glad I live there
And only one thing spoils its charm
I feed the birds and feral cats
At night I enjoy watching bats
The field mice and spiders
That reside beside us
Are fine, but there’s too many rats
It’s fine that they eat the bird’s seed
I watch out for places they’ve peed
But there’s a lot more
Than there were before
The thing that they do best is breed
To stop them I have made a start
Regrettably, traps play their part
I’ve tried every type
And none match the hype
But guess what… rats can’t burp or fart
Although that sounds rather uncouth
I read it: It must be the truth
I’ll use baking powder
To make gassy chowder
And those rats are gonna go ‘POOF!’
But these rats are terribly bright
They come in the depth of the night
I mixed chocolate spread
With soda as said
The scent would prevail in low light
It was late so I went to my bed
Those rats were stuck firm in my head
Would they be beaten
Will that bait be eaten
By some other creature instead
At first light next morning I checked
I didn’t know what to expect
The bait was all gone
Those rats got it wrong
So they should be totally wrecked
Could my yard, at last, be rat free
A hedgehog is all that I see
His innards let rip
He shook at the hip
And farted and burped ‘Do-Re-Mi’
Bugs, bugs that go thump in the nights
bugs, bugs do they give you a frights?
Bugs, bugs, you'll need some bats,
unless the so called bugs are rats.
Rats, rats, those nasty little things
rats, rats diseases they brings.
Rats, rats, you'll need some cats,
but those cats will hide in your hats.
Cats, cats, those cute little things
cats, cats loving and purrs they brings.
Cats, cats they can't hide in the hats
that have been eaten by the rats.
Fleas, fleas those blood thirsty thieves,
fleas, fleas they ignore our pleas,
blood they drink from the rats, and cats,
they bug in the furs, and bug in the hats.
Rats for Phones
Medieval Hamelin, so they say
Was rat infested so one day
The town folks, though with shady hype
Hired a Piper and his pipe
And rid the town of rats he did
But he also piped away each kid
So it is today in a South African town
Alexandria has run aground
It’s rat infested with all types
And there’s no Piper now who pipes
But you still can hear the Piper’s tones
In the city sponsored free cell phones
For if you turn in 60 rats
You get a cell phone and congrats
They’re killing rats there by the score
In hopes there soon would be no more
But signs say this stunt could backfire
As there is now some public ire
The activists for animal rights
Have got the city in their sights
And they’ve condemned this initiative
Saying even rats have the right to live
Where will this end – I have no clue
But if you had rats what would you do
If you’re like me, let it be known
We’d have ourselves a new cell phone
Mdailey 11/5/12