Best Potus Poems
I bought Trumps book of poems, yes it's true
And I really think you should get one too
Because you just don't know
When tissue stocks get low
So, keep a copy of it in your loo...
Trump sent kamala his poetry book
Said she'll have plenty time to take a look
Her wonky Kitchen table
Is now quite firm and stable
Kamala was pleased it no longer shook...
Tom Cunningham
If I’m ever gifted soup’s book
I wouldn’t even take a look
I’d rip out poems by “Trump”
For use after I dump
The theme is pure gobbledygook...
Jan Allison
I'd use Trump's pages to wipe my hiney
And keep my toilet bowl quite shiny
Not a word would I read
About his need for greed
He's not a poet; he's too whiney...
Lin Lane
Trump's new book of poems is a farce
He can't write a poem from his a r s e
Fake poems galore
Are all just a bore
His poetry book fans will be sparse...
Tania Kitchin
Donald Trump is down and singing the blues
Seeing his poetry going down loos
The thought of success
Had gone to his head
Now his ego is definitely bruised...
Beryl Edmonds
Written by Trump’s own hand
Is a fairytale about finance
His poetry book
For crooks to cook
Up a USA scammer plan...
Karen Jones
Donald Trump is now the new boss,
Those Demo-Craps are paying the cost,
Trump stuck to his guns,
And finally won,
Fake news spread by the media lost.
John Read
his numbers are up
the economy's churning
bullies … tweets … insults
Some call him a fascist
Others, a racist
Still others, a misogynist
He seems impervious
~ The ICE-man cometh
The cypress trees at water’s edge hedge an entrance.
We circle senseless, aimless, wheezing from the stench.
We are unprepared for this netherworld mischance,
this lifeless pool without birds where we entrench.
Drawn into the grotto leading to the abode of the dead,
we are alarmed to find the design is quite familiar.
Our handwriting and signatures cannot be misread.
All around our cacotopian creation seems so peculiar.
Dank alleys crowded; COVID corpses decompose.
Back when, we passively handed the reign of power
to a petulant fiendish bully we might not now depose.
His smirking cult spews contempt like a shower.
Meanwhile conspiracy capers cavort clucking tongues,
and we view our nihility specters, seeking our escape.
But this vortex germ befouls the air, attacking our lungs.
Our vertigo fatigue means our breakout can’t take shape.
This is long lost Avernus, the black hole of our making.
Thoughtless, this virus only preys on any for the taking.
Mercy?
Care? Compassion?
Empathy? Decency?
He just does not get it, does he?
So sad.
This revolutionary fella followed by
Adams family patriarch,giving rise
twin heir (plain lee gifted "Renaissance
Man") Jeff force'n without hemming
and hawing, subsequently conceding
nexus (nor horse drawn Lexus) of Colonial
power to Madison, thence Monroe
buttoned up as suitable candidate after
which younger Adams elected.
Thirty four followed Jackson's club
trumpeting (some Obama nib bully)
bushwhacking their way predicated
on faulty Algorithm, charming
charismatically with hint of Clint
like glint in eyes, blinding populace,
sans ray gun (Reagan), Car Tour ring
with peanut gallery in tow, affording
(unpopularly pardoning unfashionably),
a Jerry rigged nixed son, followed
by John's son tainted by stain of Vietnam,
but with said Southeast Asian debacle,
one ken heady (sporting thick styled hair)
inherited an internecine conflict, essentially
precipitated, when Eisenhower hardened
political stance against any allies of the
Soviet Union, (sans The Viet Cong), and
pledged his firm support to Diem
and South Vietnam.
Now with preceding administration, one
harried true man unleashed advent of atomic
spectra upon Hiroshima, and Nagasaki, this
purported preemptive measure scary ruse
felt to thwart exaggerated Japanese government
threat (military intelligence) scheming to
wreak untold havoc upon American troops
within the Pacific theater of World War II.
The former horrific decision controversial,
then and to this day Hoover expert historian,
diverge, asper corroborating the necessity
to usher in the Cold War, yet majority foreign
policy wonks might grudgingly attest that
said thirty first commander in chief did maintain
a Cool Edge throughout onset when doomsday
clock began countdown to Armageddon,
an unimaginably blaring, deafening, earsplitting...
cacophony distant rumbles heard, nonetheless,
no Hard dinning ghoulish nightmare (potentially
obliterating all life on planet Earth) haunted
Wilson, nor Taft, only gunboat diplomacy
mere child's play exhorted, less catastrophic
comparison, when Teddy Roosevelt wielded
"big stick schtick" namesake corollary to the
Monroe Doctrine in 1904...ad nauseum.
POTUS ROAST
Upon this dais I do stand
To recognize a seasoned man
whose sins outweigh his business flings
his golf swing or his ling a ding
To blend in knowledge then to stir
an alloy blend with amateur
a future forged in treachery
a staid positioned reverie
of thoughts to trudge ahead and see
where faithful will not enter there
you make your moves despite the mess
of danger should you ply and test
your narcissism covers all
Though pride goeth before the fall
no one deters you from your quest
determined you will reach your goal (gold)
for you are better than the rest
with orange hair and three foot ties
A vocal tone that’s filled with lies
where fake news fills your rhetoric
you have your campaign goons as fans
with strong expletives in your game plans
To sputter all your promises
That all are written in the wind
and siege upon the immigrants
with Muslims added to the feed
the vets and Dreamers should take heed
Obamacare will have their scares
the one percent are gaining here
the rest are losers but who cares
your obstructions still will last
and no collusion you still spout
now I know I’m on your list
this roast I gave just has you pissed
But let me close by saying now
it’s all in fun, we love ya, pal!
Ralph Sergi© June 7, 2019
* I’m a political cynic; it’s just satire.
bleached skulls
civilisation shattered
madman’s legacy
-----------------
22 October 2017
The Oval Office looks gaudy
And outshines the King of Saudi
Trump’s ugly deco
Gives off an echo
Of a bordello that’s bawdy
I’m appalled at Trumpty the Potus
His Dettol cure just doesn’t float us
Best to keep his gob shut
(Think his brain is kaput)
He’s trying to kill off ‘dem’ voters
04/26/20
I am a six foot blonde from your township,
my high heeled naked long legs men worship,
my pretty face is fair as the lotus,
am contesting to be your next POTUS!
you are wondering If can do the Job,
half the past senate have been my heartthrob,
had the pleasure of working under them,
know the hole from where their policies stem!
first I shall recolour white house to pink,
all staff will be trained to whistle and wink,
tight latex will be official dress code,
business as usual in new abode!
shall shape the economy like my rear,
pink, smooth, firm, rounded, attractive and fair!
foreign policies will be like my bust,
big, attractive but false silicon dust!
have launched more rockets than any other,
so for your space program look no further,
am better than all presidents before,
I shall screw the country till you are sore!
6th placement
written 25/02/2021
Matt Caliri sponsored
If I was President contest
20 lines 10 ayllables each line
Pull the wool over our eyes
Exploit your bully pulpit
Ha, ha! Even ‘Wooly Bully’
is relatively young ~
It's not the culprit
___________________________
'Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs'
were a 'one-off' pop group of the
mid-1960's. Their hit was titled
'Wooly Bully,' some kind of dance.
- on Donald Trump’s visit to the United Kingdom
(with apologies to William Blake)
And in the heat of summer time
Walking by England’s fountains seen
A man who thought he was a God
And King of England’s pastures green
We did not countenance his crime
Drew lines upon our crowded hills
And sang Jerusalem, Trump is here
Among us - dark Satanic chills
Bring me balloons of tan and gold
Bring me cartoons and bold satire
Bring tea and beer; Oh, clowns untold!
Bring me the jokes that will not tire
I will bring cheese to fuel the fight
Or something silly in my hand
This isn’t Trump’s Jerusalem
And we don’t want him in our land
© Gail Foster 12th July 2018
Did you see our POTUS toddle?
Its called the, "Air Force One Waddle"
But a U. S. Marine
Claims our POTUS is clean
And the Army's top roll model.
POTUS has COVID
what shall we do
people are going crazy
it's an all out zoo
He said he'll isolate
at the white house
Is everyone safe around him
even a mouse?
He's taking Paxlovid,
vaccinated and boosted twice
His symptoms are mild
and virus-less is his wife
He's tired, has a runny nose
and a dry cough
He had a press conference
where he shunned it off
Let's pray that POTUS
gets well soon
Here's to good old Joe...
some virtual balloons!