Best Pornographic Poems


Premium Member Yellow Press -

He undresses rumor to reveal lies
this is how the desperate man cries,
Extra Extra he tries to sadden ya,
a bundle of rancor rambles from the shambles of his shame
finding form on a page of purely personal pathos
what he can't have he taunts,
flaunts falsehood as fact in commiserating style,
vulgar and vile such as pornographic propaganda
designed to compell despair with poisened air,
what does he care, loyalty he knows not how to share,
decorum just a ditch in the swamp of his heart,
hurt hurt hurt is the mantra of his yellow emotion
a mud temple is his refuge,
burn love, ravage respect, ruin reputation
is the curve in his grimace, the grime in his game,
even the news stands have rejected his rank rubbish,
a character assassinator eliminated by the Poet's assembly,
take your delusional drama to the closet playa
hang it on a hanger of humbled heresy,
your rusty razor shall not go "haymaker" anymore
remain in your "hayfever" brought on by Truth's retribution,
a wedge maker is your legacy, a virtuous man your fallacy -

J.A.B.

Premium Member Coincidental Names and Vocations

I was reminiscing the other day about people I've known o'er the years,
And found it strange that their names corresponded with their careers.
For instance, Joseph Carpenter was handy with hammer, nails and saw.
Clyde Barrister, famed ambulance chaser, successfully practiced law!

Art Paynter, dabbled in pornographic oils and is now confined in prison.
My dentist, Whitey Capps, takes care of my choppers as if they were his'n.
A neighbor, Semmi Riggs, is a long-haul trucker and is on the road a lot.
He married a classmate of mine, Tipsy Toper, renowned as the village sot!

An old army buddy, Hank Roper, is a cowpoke and rides the rodeo scene.
An old girl friend of mine, Freda Flick, is now starring on the silver screen.
The town ne'er-do-well, Don Heller, got religion and became a preacher.
His brother Bob (known as stuttering Bob) became an English teacher!

Willie Wrench turned out to be one of the finest Buick mechanics around,
And his wife Lila (nee Leak) is a plumber and none better is to be found.
Cyrus Cloud is working for the National Weather Service as a meteorologist,
And I hear that Buddy Butts has a thriving practice as a famed proctologist!

Frenchie Horne has his own band and I see him on the boob tube now and again.
An old pal, Gilbert Graves, is the village undertaker located at Fifth and Main.
Was it intentional or fickle fate that wedded these names to their vocation?
I reckon in a sense 'twas both due to a struggling bard's wild imagination!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

The Devil's Dead Roses a Prelude To the Bete Noire

The Devil's Dead Roses
A prelude to the Bete Noire 

Please stop Please stop
Don't look at my face
Please stop Please stop 
Don't look at my face.                                              
  -  Every time you see what I see     
  -  Every time you see what I see 

So precious 
Disgusting taste 
Back handed smile plays
Your devious face 
So lost without me 
Looking down without grace 
Masquerade - You dance high
"So Great"
And the needle's laced

The Blood of Christ 
In my hands 
Understand! Understand!!
Still you laugh through me in sin
These cravings 
So thirsty
Me first please
ME FIRST PLEASE!!!
I'm fiending 
So lasting this laughing 
It's fancy, us dancing 
Delusions in envy
Pornographic Fantastic 
Your eyes bleed
So frightening 
My flesh disappearing 
Your lies scream 
You hate me
"I HATE YOU I HATE YOU" 
So blinding 
My eyes sting
Left silent Sick violence
We play for today
"My little prey come this way" 
Separate from peace
A pornographic feast
And this poison that you're spitting on my flesh
And this poison that you're spitting is so fresh 
And this poison that you spit
Is coming at me
It's all coming at me 
And up my spine 
Such wicked chills                  Diluted in envy 
"TAKE OFF YOUR FUQQING MASK!!!"
Why you coming at me
Why me
Why me
Why you coming at me
Naked hand in hand
Sends wicked chills 
And up my spine
Twisted little thrills 
"How Divine!!?"
Delusions 
A blind dream
I'm finding YOU WATCHING 
You HATE ME
This hate thing
"I HATE DREAMS" 
"I HATE DREAMS"
"I HATE DREAMS" 
"I HATE DREAMS" 
"I HATE DREAMS" 
"I HATE DREAMS" 
"I HATE DREAMS" 
Your mask is so frightening 

Back handed smile 
A little guile 
So sick
Looking in at your grin
When you stick me
"You fuqqing win" 
So I just laugh and I laugh
And I sing and I laugh
And I dance and I laugh
And I laugh and I laugh
And a couple more drinks
And a couple more drinks ...


To Life To Life

I hear a song it doesn’t make me feel glee	
Because my legs start shaking with a bursting pee.

I frequently listen to the radio for I love dramatic plays
But they turn my stomach bad like having a menstrual phase.

I observe closely those pornographic magazines
They make feel like wanking with all the nude scenes.

I touch my head searching intensely for hair
I keep on scrutinizing but there is nothing there.

I touch my ***** I’m afraid it has conceded
To again make it rise some viagra needed.

This is my unfortunate state of life
I have no woman, no lovers and no wife.

Confessions of a White Sheep

TRANSLATION:   White sheep is deemed to be spotless
                        and blameless which depicts holiness.
                        But now,listen from the confession box;

Oh Lord! You know me,and my trespasses!

I been involved in money laundering,embezzlement,
 and abuse of office!

I demand respect without practice of self-limitation,
 humbleness and modesty!

I am the one who bewitched brother X,
 because I was scared of his popularity at church!

I have the habit of deserting my spouse,
 and engage in extra marital affairs!

I have helped young girls to abort unwanted pregnancies,
 using very powerful medicines!

I have produced and distributed pornographic materials
 [indecent,obscene and offensive] to the general public!

I have sexually abused  boys and girls for many years,
 at church and my workplace!

I been involved in internet scams for so long,
 robbing people their hard earned money!

I have been initiated in satanism since childhood,
 for protection,promotion at work and boosting my business!

I have offered tithes and offerings to support rebel groups,
 that terrorize innocent people especially women and children!

I have been supporting the gang of robbers that rob rich people,
 to plead not guilty to theft!

I have been acting as chief advisor to the leaders of drug dealing,
 prostitution and human trafficking!

All I NEED IS YOU LORD TO CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART!
       MATTHEW 7:13-29
chipepo lwele

Pesky Poppycock Payback Please Prepare

Prevarication permits pretend perception, presenting
piquantly piqued, pimply pimping playboy, plucky
pulchritudinous previously pusillanimous, prevalently
puckish, psychic packman, pokemon playing proletarian

puppeteer pygmy, peevishly punky, plummy, plumy,
pompously pushy, pampered, prefabricated pinchbeck,
pokily plying plowshear, plodding peregrination, pied
piper pitifully peppy pornographic potato pealing,

parsimonious paradoxical protagonist, proposing
preposterous panicky pacification plots, prioritization
pertinent penultimate peroration, perhaps perceiving
perjuring, perplexing, perverting puzzling pronouncements

projecting pulsating pixelated pulpy pinball pinging
packets prompting pacific, poetic, phlegmatic purplish
psoriasis plagued, plumbum pallor pallid, Paleolithic
protuberance pronounced, psychosomatic prohibitionist,

polarizing perfunctory peculiarly progressive, patriotic
postmodern pathologically proud paternal panache,
peripatetic panaceas portraying prescient perfidious
puerile president, predominantly proposing parochial

principles, plenty public parking, purposefully
promoting pharisee phalanxes, pilates practicing
paragons, perennially peaceably proficient protesters,
profitable polygamy, pugnacious pitbull powerball

players, pandering polyandry, propagating professional
palindrome pensive peeping people, peddling,
proselytizing predicating prostitution, proliferating
phenomenally, populist persona promulgated peyote

phased physicians pioneering prescription promoting
paradisiacal pricey photographic pictures, placating
phrenetic physical perturbation partaking place
purchased (paid paltry pennies) por palatial piazza.


Premium Member Game Time

It's Game Time!
A New Year, a new mind
Never rewind; fast forward to our grind time.
Our Shine illuminates the world with some simple rhymes but knowledge.
As we are attending college, pray for our profit.
Pray we stay honest in a barrel full of crabs.
This world is trying to grab our soul, eat us whole, sink us below, but we cannot go low.
The only way we know is home, heaven-sent.
We are Pitching to the kids because the grown mind is already corrupt.
Struck with illusions, pornographic confusion, we are living in ruins, building on top of death.
There could never be true peace until God sends back his seed, replant his garden.
Eden Reborn, it's more than a dream, but a vision that's has been created, outdated.
Walking by Faith, Pray we Graduate on our new start, never park
We going for it until we win it all
We are PoeticVibes

Not Far, the Long Distance Friend

Call
me:
do not just think of me!
Write me:
do you think of me?!

Along the forget me nots,
is friendship,
a friendship:
that they once knew.

She watches romantic pornographic videos
and feels guilty, 
over the phone.

© S. Wesley Mcgranor
12/16/20

Premium Member She Wears Jimmy Phews - Warning Contains Humour

A lady I knew called Griselda
Collected shoes just like Imelda*
But she’d such cheesy feet
When she walked down the street
Folk secretly called her Ismelldya!

*Imelda Marcos owned at least 1200 pairs of shoes



NB

After being on the site for over 7 years people are well aware of my style and love of writing the limerick form. If i write a bawdy limerick it is noted in the title and if folk insinuate my work is pornographic I can only pity them


I will not be deterred by bloggers and will not stop writing limericks or funny poems. I’ll never stop trying to make folk smile and have a laugh and forget their troubles for a while

1/5/2021

Autodidact

Autodidact
The small forest or the woods by the white road made of
crushed sea-shells was a place of enchantment squirrels
had no fear of solitary dreamers stumbling over oak roots.
I used to walk here when cows were milked, fed and
the mucking out was done and fresh straw strewn in their
stalls and the barn had chewing contented animals.
I could do so many things in the forest be an Indian or take
out of my pocket pornographic pictures the farmhand in
the village gave me and masturbate.
I was especially drawn to pictures of cunnilingus the women
seem to enjoy this form of sex more, and I was horrified when
told it was not a manly act, yet the pleasured faces stayed on
my mind. Years later I drove the forest was a private estate high
walls and posh villas and no squirrels, I laughed out loud they
will never know my secrets here where I dedicated trained for
a hearty sex life to come.

The Odd Couple

Never missed a show     Their antics filled the screen     These two totally different characters     Made me laugh howl and scream      No murder mysteries here      Definitely no pornographic behavior     Just two middle-aged bachelors     Living life with a different flavor     Felix Unger and Oscar Madison     Two names I`ll never forget     The day their  show was cancelled     Was one of my biggest regrets   If you have no problem with reruns Their still on channel 2     Keeping audiences in stitches     Between Bonanza and Mr. Magoo

***** Addiction

Viewing pornographic images is offensive,activates sexual desires and inflame them !

Irrational Hunger

Note:  Okay, my friends, I am experimenting with erotic poetry; please
            be gentle with me, okay...?  I want to explain...the form that I
            am working on is not pornographic, but the physical relative
            to the emotional.  In essence, the characters "feel" a connection
            to a particular person...sexual with emotional.


Mistakes...

I've made too many in my life.

You know that you make me crazy...?  Yes, you know.

I'm always tripping...and falling...

and breaking...

knowing that only you can cure this insatiable appetite.

Why does love make me so delusional...?

After all, I am a grown woman, but the hunger for you
makes me willing to do almost anything just to look into
your eyes for one moment...

just one moment with you, baby...

and I'll be okay.

Tell me you love me, honey...

Let me feel the life between your soft thighs...taste you...

I'll be bad and go down...always...

day or night...

my tongue, deep into your throat as I squeeze that tight
little behind of yours...

My lipstick will be your tattoo.

Love...?  Lust...?  Both...?

I want to discover the truth that is living inside of me, allowing
me to be vulnerable to perform...anything.

Let's get wild.

My arms are opened, baby...

Come in.


Another note:  This was the censored version.

Premium Member Teetering

no time to snooze ---------  some peace and quiet
the morning news ---------                 good eats--no diet

rush hour traffic ---------                    an awesome book
ads pornographic ---------                   a shady brook

media frenzy ---------                         a time to nap         
jealous envy  ---------                        a purring cat

solicitations ---------                          a mountain top
wars of nations ---------                     the sound of Bach
------------------------------------------------------
             time
             away
             from
        the everyday



________________________
Teeter-Totter Contest 8/12/14

Crazy Love

CRAZY LOVE

I haven’t seen love so crazy like my love
We are so madly in love; we make love mad
Here I am asking myself if I have lost my mind
This is faster than I have ever seen or heard
This is love at its peak; enjoying every moment of it
We are so good together; we are the best couple
There is nothing that we cannot do; name it all
Kissing, touching, sucking, caressing like we are acting a pornographic movie
Oh! This is sweet crazy love.

I will always love her just as she always love me
There is no end to this love that we can see
Everything is so perfect; we are climaxing to perfection
I love the look in her eyes when I start to touch her
I can never get enough of her succulent lips
Am her baby; I want to suck her breast all day long
Tickling her nipples makes me want to hold it in my mouth all night long
Whenever she touches me, I loose my sense of reasoning
The things she does to me, am so speechless to say
We are crazy and we love doing crazy things
She is the naughty girl I fell in love with; Am the naughty boy she loves
This is crazy; we are the craziest couple...

Lordvip & Currie			


									Lordvip
									August, 2013

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