Best Pirates Poems
He stands upon the salty,slippery deck,
Yelling yaargh matey ,
with a halfhearted pirate drawl.
He's not to impressed with himself,
not an eyepatch or wooden leg,
not even a hooked claw.
The parrot on his shoulder,
is a wannabee,
a sparrow that fell from the Crowsnest,
from high up above.
It has no quips ,or spikes,
or pirate quotes,
just nesting on his shoulder
with birdly kind of love.
Aye captain the crew responds,
snapping to their chores.
Tend the wheel ,lash the mainsail,
take the soundings
less we hit a reef.
The sea going life is not for every man,
walking the plank,storms and rickets.
Crabs in your knickers ,
really give you grief.
Aah but when the wind fills the sails to bursting,
yards of canvas strain to be free.
And the ropes play ,sea going music
of a tension melody.
A song that captures
every young buccaneers heart ,
and soul and fancy.
For the music of the wanderers life,
an endless expanse of blue,
bravehearts and fearless men find,
quite a bit too chancy.
Black Beard,Yellow Beard,
the famous Captain Blood,
were all fearless pirates of their day.
He truly knows that he can be,
a great one too.
If he could ever find that bleeping map,
and escape this landlocked bay.
I come to you with humble thanks for all that you’ve delivered,
For Englishmen to walk the planks and for timbers left unshivered.
I thank you for a glassy sea and the steady blowing breeze,
For giving all these things to me without making me say please.
And I thank you for the horizon where sea and sky do meet,
For every new sun that I watch risin’ is a day of fate I’ll cheat.
It is my hope dear loving Lord that I can bring you pleasure,
By throwing someone overboard and stealing all their treasure.
And when I navigate at night you send the northern star,
I feel then that I’m alright and it’s to you that I’ll say ARRR.
There’s a lesson that some people teach about the carrying that you do,
But I knew that the footprints on the beach must have belonged to you.
‘Cause I got a peg and there’s no doubt it would’ve got stuck into the sand.
I couldn’t have pulled myself back out because I got this hook for one hand.
I’d like to see you but by some quirk my good eye got covered by my patch,
I know that I’m just salvage work and it’s you who’ll batten down my hatch.
So Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum and raise the Jolly Roger to the sky,
And praise Him from whom blessings come the one who reigns on high.
For I am grateful for the gifts that you have granted me,
A pirate ship that is so swift and the blue green open sea.
Here we are in 1650, which is ten minutes to five
swing the wheel to the West, which is left,
put your sun cream away, man the mizzen and the stays
as we set off for some murder and some theft.
You'll find us as your hosts on the sunny Barbary Coast
and from there we venture forth to ply our trade
we've been out leaving them for dead from the Atlantic to the Med
before we skittle off back home our fortunes made
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
As I previously stated we all get inebriated
from our copious imbibing of the grog
our excuse is there's no Cola in the bars of Hispaniola
which is why we need the hair of the dog
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
Got a woman in Bermuda and another in Tortuga
and they give me lots of lovin' for some coins
and although they're very foxy they're just both a pair of doxies
which I'm sure explains the rash around me groin
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
Now we're really no buffoons when it comes down to doubloons
and our treasure chests are burstin' at the seams
then old Blackbeard started spouting about doing our accounting
so I said (before I shot him) 'in your dreams'
(ye chorus)
As we skirmish the Atlantic I was starting to get frantic
since the one thing on my voyage I've always feared
is the men who've not been coming for a while across some women
have all started wearing lipstick, which is weird
(arr, the chorus again)
Well it's reached that point me hearties where we anchor down and party
so me shipmates here on board I'd like to thank
though the mix of food and beer has now given me diarrhea
which is why I've made our cook just walk the plank
(for thee last time, chorus, arrrr)
September 17th 2015, 'A pirate's life for me' contest, sponsor Kelly Deschler
(Author's note- there are several spellings of diarrhea, but it doesn't matter, they all have 'arr' in 'em, me hearties)
Water wives live sheltered lives
Amongst the coves where pirates rove
Daily catch is makers match
Where red hot stoves hide fresh baked loaves
Water men are thick and thin
So often strove where shipmates hove
Water child is often wild
The treasure trove where pirates roved
19Mar14
Type casting Pirates of Penzance
Lining up those who’ll sing and dance
Some aced the illusion
Others beyond delusion
Laughing so hard I wet my pants
AP: 3rd place 2020, Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on April 8, 2019 for contest PIRATE THEMED LIMERICK sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN - RANKED 4TH
I want to be a captain
From the old salty sea
I want to steal booty
Quickly and then flee
I need me a peg leg
So that my body can stand
And a sharp pointy hook
In place of me hand
I need me a ship
One with black sails
Throw on some cannons
They better not fail
I be needin’ a crew
One that is strong
But better be quiet
When me plan does go wrong
A top my shoulder
I need me a parrot
One that won’t squawk
He be worth 14 carat
You be readin’ me sea chant
It be a catchy tune
I hope ye enjoyed it
Now you owe me gold doubloons
If ye don’t pay up
It’ll be a walk on the plank
Or perhaps a quick dip
In me shark infested tank
Who be th' stenchin' verminous Horsman
what hollers t' th' seafarin' oarsmen
when th' mind's a-fog
where we fest th' grog
why be d'mandin' pennin's of bay men
***All errors are intentional and used merely to facilitate pirate speak.
Out apon the sea.
Its hard to catch some relife.
Or find some time to set willy free.
It's a priates life no need to back your
bags.
Just grab a pint.
When in port avoid the sea hags.
Swab the decks and please if
ya gotta puke lean over the side.
Be a good little sea bandit
or you'll be learning were Davey Jones does
reside.
We got fish for breakfest supper and lunch.
Can somone please help the captain.
ya know with a hook for a hand its easy to
get your pants in a bunch.
I gotta walk the plank again ?
Hey it's really rude sticking me with that knife.
It sure would be nice if we put this ship in the water.
Do more than drinking and dreaming of the pirates life.
I really dont trust a captian with a poodle.
It really gets old being harrased.
And cleaning up fee fee's doodle
Dont let Larry steer.
After the tenth time it gets old.
running a ground to go fetch a beer.
No sir I dont belive we'll run into the loch ness monster
off the jersey shore.
No I dont belive the worlds flat.
And I dont care if the five year old first mate swore.
The crows nesk is a perfect place to hide from your
wife.
Were heading the wrong way check the gps.
Yes I really cant take this pirates life.
Yes captian I really doubt A mermaid stole
all the rum.
What's the catch of the day?
Sea monster sure I'll have some.
The captian is crabby and it's time for the
first mates nap.
The cook isnt crying cause he's choppin onions
Its cause he finished the briges of Madison County
yes he's a bit of a sap.
It's probaly not best to duel with a butter knife.
As we set sail yes mam we''ll have the first mate
back befor sundown.
It's kinda messed up living this modern pirates life.
Have you ever spent a night
outside in a tent?
chips and marshmallows
lanterns and pillows
Frolicking fun with good friends and
food mother sent
Backyard becomes a pirate's den
of thieves and foes
swords and swashbucklers
playfights and chucklers
Telling scary ghost tales of dungeons below
Night falls with thick darkness
a child's Brigadoon
loud whippoorwills hark
owls flap in the dark
Fears rise with the glow of
the smirking full moon
Time to tuck in, long night filled
with wonder and thrills
menacing shadows
thoughts of cruel gallows
Now eyes closing, in spite of
a fight with our wills
I set me sails,
And head out to sea,
A pirates life this shall be.
A crew to build of pirates lad,
Ones that look awfully mad.
We rob them ships,
And look for gold,
Centuries of sailing,
But none look old.
With a sword in one hand,
A gun in my right,
If and when i catch you,
You'll walk the plank tonight.
Alligators swimming,
And sharks are below,
So when you jump in,
It will be your time to go.
Brave you are thinking,
But scared you shall be,
The last person you'll see standing,
shall and will be me.
A Pirates Love for Me
by David Bradley
My love has wandered far from me,
Across an endless sea.
Sailing ships, with wings of white,
that fill with sea breeze.
Puffed with pride and starry eyes,
the gait and path were set.
And set to sail the ocean tides,
a wake was all that's left.
And here I sit upon the dock, looking out to sea,
the one whose left within the wake,
Groans deep in misery.
Will the ships be seen again,
their sails so full and white?
To bring to land a love that's lost,
a treasure chest beyond the cost.
A Pirates love for me.
Black Eyed Jack is a pirate's tale,
the captain of a ship the Mighty Whale.
One day Black Eye and his crew,
the Black Eyed Band of Forty-two,
Set sail out of an evil port,
to take a ship called the Vigilant Fort
"She carries gold", said Black Eyed Jack
"We'll take what's ours and give none back".
The sea was still the moon was bright,
the pirates sat in the blackened night,
when out of the crows nest was hear a shout,
"She's sailing behind, come about!"
Canons were ready starboard and port
but not a sound was heard on the vigilant fort.
"We're taking your ship" tis what Black Jack said
while leaping aboard saw only the dead.
Nothing was seen of Black Eyed Jack again,
tis said his own spirit did him in.
They flew the skull and cross bones
Up high above the deck.
Pirates on the open sea
They had treasures to collect.
One man from the crows nest
Kept a vigil from on high.
Looking out for any ships
That happen to pass by.
Their crews were mostly misfits
Ones who’ve gone astray.
They would work the Pirate ships
Just to get away.
When a ship was spotted
A battle would soon commence.
In hopes to steal a treasure
And ammunition for their defense.
Men were usually Captains
But women it is said.
Females that Captained pirate ships
Were the baddest of the bad.
Whether it was the Royal Navy
Or the great Empire of Rome.
Female captains of pirate ships
Made themselves at home.
So whether male or female
Pirates were bad news.
And the captains of these pirate ships
Had to pay their dues.
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Be warned, who goes there at his helm!
This corner of Poseidon's realm
belongs to ME.
From shiny crest to briny floor,
horizons ledge to edge of shore,
I OWN this sea!
Herein, a vessel named as thine
shall be reclaimed and hence be mine -
as will it's BANK
But fear ye not! When faced with dues
defaulters, in debts place, may choose
to walk the plank!
I am the Ocean's rebel son
and devils work is never done,
so, I set sail...
Forever after, young again,
both Cabin Boy and Captain in
this pirates tale...
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PIRATES ON THE SEA
CAPTAIN MORGAN, LIFE, LOVE LOOT
A BOTTLE OF RUM
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