Best Old Maid Poems

Shogi
me?
I can barely play Go Fish

Old Maid is well over my head
Shogi?
I think not

Shogi: Japanese chess
where you get to use your
opponent’s captured army...

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I recall a card game
probably extending back past the 1950s
called Old Maid.

There was also Authors
and a few other choices
less popular with me.
But Old Maid sticks...

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Cypress trees like evergreen steeples
rise above rows of gravestone woes,
their shadows lie side by side like railroad ties 
across writhing paths banded like snakes;
the gravel...

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A musical throng of 400,000 strong invaded a dairy farm in New York in 1969,
 which set fire to the 70’s; but there was no...

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A surly old maid
had an urge to be laid
and bemoaned her virginal status
with life discontented
her plight she lamented:
"'tis not easy to live without coitus."

A scheme...

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My husband... has never minded
    eating a vegetable he doesn't like
        just so they will...

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Why does splendor gray
Why does the flower fade
  Once a fair maiden
  Now an old maid
Beauty's virtue lies not in decay...

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Jan caught a jet plane to New York
Where bacon does not come from pork
To end her trip
Jan let one rip
The Captain delivered a stork

Jan's flight...

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My pen pal and I both had a passion for poetry books
The city library was thought of. We met in her nooks.
Shush! Shush! We heard...

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Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice
In the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face
That she keeps in...

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Once when I was just a kid,
My sister eight years older,
My sister's boyfriend came to call,
While we were playing soldier.

Stationed in the jungle we,
Cut off...

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She was known as "Miss Knuckle Rapper"—
My old-maid math teacher in sixth grade.
She was well-groomed, but hardly dapper
And unrelentingly strict, stern, and staid.

"You WILL master...

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Wintergreen leaves of frozen tiffany, encased within
Crystalized ice cycles are the delicate roses of youth.
Tender shards easily shattered or creaked by 
Betrayals heavily handed anvils...

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LIZZIE BORDEN

Poor miss Lizzie, a murderess acquitted, 
By a judgment’s ruling of her peers,
Yet command by histories theatrics.
Astound damsel, to the wealth’s elite,
A matron’s old...

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I saw this darling little chick,
she looked a swinging geezer.
I thought I’d move to get in quick.
Her name was Mona Lisa.

I thought she had a...

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