Best Old Maid Poems

Shogi
me?
I can barely play Go Fish

Old Maid is well over my head
Shogi?
I think not

Shogi: Japanese chess
where you get to use your
opponent’s captured army...

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I recall a card game
probably extending back past the 1950s
called Old Maid.

There was also Authors
and a few other choices
less popular with me.
But Old Maid sticks in mind
as blatantly sexist
and ageist
and, for a country kid
in redneck rural Republican Michigan,
the most fun
of admittedly limited card playing options.

Whoever...

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Old Maid Hadder, Got Madder And Madder


Old maid Hadder, got madder and madder
wind blew her bonnet and wet upon it.
Soaking showers from a blackbird's bladder
taken aback, next she fell doggone it!

Did not matter, her day in a tatter
rain pouring down, gave her another frown.
Wind drove...

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It took 44 years for me to marry.
When your my age that's kind of scary.
Thinking old age would get me first.
Or even something like dying of thirst.
Then one day my Knight did shine.
At that moment I said he's mine.
It's my old friend from twenty years.
I...

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My brother Richie used to turn into a loon when he got the old Maid.
His face would turn red, scarlet, plum, and a bright fuchsia shade.
The rest of us would know, and we could not stop laughing at him.
The one who laughed the hardest was...

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There was a old maid that lived in a house, That old maid took a look under her house and she could not tell what is down there. The old maid took a candle and went down there and she saw a dead body and...

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The Old Maid Gets a Goat

By Elton Camp

Miss Prunella found it too hard
To continue to mow her yard

For a solution, she asked all around
“Buy a goat,” was the advice she found

They said, “It’ll keep your yard neat
And fresh goat milk can’t be beat.”

She fenced her...

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"To have Clarity of Intention means to align oneself with the clear and single-pointed purpose of that [regenerative] impulse itself. And the way that alignment occurs, in a [bicameral] human heart and mind, is that the intention to [co-]evolve becomes more important [and obvious and...

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"Hi baby!"

endless phone calls,

to unsuspecting members of "the family"

the sweet OLD maid squeaks....

her lovely ancient SOUL, "hi honey" she squeaks.

Makes me WONDER, is this someday how I will SPEAK?...

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She was an old maid with six brothers,
Once again, she held a gun on her “date”.
He began to shake.
His boots clanged together.
Another one gone? A brother said.
The rest of them laughed.
Insurance they would never have to cook or clean....

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She lived alone in her sister's house
quiet is a poor church mouse
She cooked and clean for her keep
up the attic room she did retreat
She dressed plain with colors drab
a smiling face she never had
She seldom ever went out
her conscious pure without doubt

Her sister's family could...

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Glissandra spins gossamer nets
Of sticky white webbing that gets
Her all the captive she needs:
Her spider-string oozes like sap,
The unicorns step in her trap—
Soon they will serve as her steeds.

Glissandra rides out from her lair,
The wind singing tunes in her hair,
Unicorn under her thighs;
With spider-web stirrups...

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Glissandra spins gossamer nets
Of sticky white webbing that gets
Her all the captive she needs:
Her spider-string oozes like sap,
The unicorns step in her trap—
Soon they will serve as her steeds.

Glissandra rides out from her lair,
The wind singing tunes in her hair,
Unicorn under her thighs;
With spider-web stirrups...

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I’m at the age where
I’ve grown really long hair
And I don’t denim care
That the trend is to cut it

No longer wearing high heels
Just for a flex or a thrill
More about how my feet feel
And they don’t love it

I don’t have many pink plans
Flying by seat...

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