Best Nutritionists Poems

Paula Deen the Butter Queen

By Elton Camp and María Camp

She is the butter makers’ delight
To nutritionists, she is a fright
Krispy Kreme with eggs and bacon
Great health risks are thus taken

Her bacon cheeseburger meatloaf
Is perfect if you are a gigantic oaf
For a nation that is already...

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I doff my fedora to the feller who invented pertater chips!
That genius developed the ideal thingy in which to immerse our dips!
How could we survive sans our weekly fix of Dominoes pizza pie,
Or a half-dozen Dunkin Donuts consumed on the sly?

Ain't nothin' as finger lickin'...

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Wherein lies the great dividing moral distinction
between hate crimes of socioeconomic historic proportion
distorting multiculturally synergetic re-ligious communication,
out-glaring more mundane popularity of defiance crimes
against a more personal sacred nature?

Why is society's right to aggressively imprison unto nutritional neglect,
to kill and maim in just vengeance of angry...

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Watching through the 
screen, 
A large-mouthed god 
flutters flag for the 
defeat in the ballot box 
And ordered the dove 
whose glory was stolen 
To seek haven in the 
external palms. 
What is constitutional 
council 
When truth has assumed 
the statue of the sun? 
What...

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The psychiatrist meddles with the head.

Nutritionists keep us decently fed.

Nurses are very clever,

As are surgeons, however,

The proctologist's probe is met with dread!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 5 in Carolyn Devonshire's "Doctor Phobia!" Contest - August 2010...

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If a grill you approach or you roast or you bake
Or you boil or you poach, you have made a mistake.
If you steam or flambe or you stew or saute,
I suggest when you're cooking you chose the wrong way.

If desiring a meal with its taste...

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Blessed are those that study English for they shall bite their tongues in order to pronounce 
words. 
Blessed are the Mathematicians for they shall calculate how stars came into existence. 
Blessed are the I.R.K.(Islamic Religious Knowledge) students for they shall know the amount 
of nots...

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Making love is like a trip to the bakery
Sweet like pastry without the calories
Use spoons over forks and knives
It is like a ship with sails unfurled
Stretched out in the arms of love at sea

It is like nothing else on Earth not even butter
If you have...

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Adding Colorful Food to Your Diet

By Elton Camp

Antioxidants are needed experts say
Eating colored food is the best way

Their wise advice I decided to apply
To eat more brightly colored I’d try

I did it because I thought I should 
Even if they don’t taste very good

To my...

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A happy old camper, still motoring along
My life has been better than most
How come I'm blessed with such good fortune
Maybe cause I eat Shreddies by Post

A good breakfast is the most important meal
Starts every day off with a bang
Even if your lunch is burgers and...

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Economic science talks about wealth and money
but ancient green ecology peace warriors
walked toward cooperative health and species nutrition
rather than poverty 
lack of sufficient mutual investment
in health-wealth trends.

Old cooperative economic leaders
and followers
measuring comparative values together
counted in nutritional value
accumulated by Yang dominating predators
and counter-counted
back in reverse time
remembering...

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Raison d'etre,
RightBrain's voiceless shadowed FutureSearch
begets healthy past nutrition research,
both secular-natural Left centered
and sacred-spiritual Right symmetric,
cooperating Earth Patriarch/Matriarch Balance.

Restoring Food Justice,
reborn of Green polycultural ecosystemic fuel balance,
discovers appositions,
although not necessarily recovering oppositions,
uncovers mistrust without total LoseNature/LoseSpirit hopelessness--
anti-trust
anti-love punishing Totalitarian LoseLose 
nihilistic guilty and terrifying Nutrition Injustice,
fuel-sucking...

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2020 global vision,
not yet ecologically there

Because, in part,
not still EgoMythic Here,
as timeless Now
restoring nutritional justice,
outside,
and inside
humane-divine animating nature.

And all Great Transitional revolutions
resonating in-between,
trembling EgoLeft toward EcoRight,
YangDusk toward Yin's Renewing Dawn
in hope of further ecstasies.

YangEgo powers of HereNow CoPresence,
inducting through polypathic historical Powers yet Here,

We are...

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Hostess Twinkies Come to an End

By Elton Camp

But they are such a wholesome treat
And Twinkies are just such fun to eat

They are like shortcake on the outside
The center a delicious mush does hide

About 2012 the Mayans may be right
And the end of the world is...

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The most important meal of the day
Is a healthy breakfast,
If nutritionists are to be trusted.
But "healthy" depends on one's point of view,
So that bubble's about to be busted.
How do chickens and pigs figure into the plan,
And what's the value of their contribution?
And how much credit...

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