Best Mewed Poems
It started with the beeping of my clock.
Sometimes I want to bash that irksome thing.
My dog barked for his food and then a walk.
While walking him, my cell phone went brring brrring.
I passed some school girls chattering away
like chirping birds. Back to my house I went
to feed the cats that mewed without delay.
I grunted next. My bills had gone unsent.
To mail them I zoomed off inside my car.
It rained. Outside my car I had to slosh
through puddles with no boots on. Great! Har har.
I splashed back to my car, and oh my gosh,
someone had whammed into my new car’s door.
I nearly bawled. Not even noon – what more?
-honestly...I have no clue why...-
As I began to rest in my fickle dream
Suddenly I was stirred from my sleep
I was greeted by many a whisker
And petulant snores from my sister
The cat mewed ferociously and purred
For there on the other side of the window—was a bird!
It chirped like a wobbly siren—the ass!
And I swear by my bosom it was pecking the glass
Suddenly, I sprang up in alarm
I swear my bosom was gone!
The cat then motioned at the feathered brat
For her bright breasts seemed extra fat
Of course it wouldn’t have been that
But I couldn’t just blame the cat!
I opened the window only a crack
And asked very kindly, “May I have my breasts back?”
Such pride she attained from my bosom
Yet why? –how would she use ‘em!?
The mockingbird merely turned a goodbye
But the stolen twins were too heavy to fly!
She plopped to the ground and squawked
I would have laughed, but I was shocked!
The cat scratched at the window and with her eyes
Said, “Prithee, take your breasts—she’s mine!”
Before I could think I had fallen to the ground
To a booming, most terrible sound!
My eyes then opened to a cat on my head
As the booming sound continued from my sister’s bed
The three imps decided to explore
And obtain a few treats as before.
Behind them, a cat mewed for her treat
But they refused in their own conceit.
The feline vowed she'd have her revenge,
They weren't afraid of any challenge
The cat saw them enter unafraid
As night darkness fell all light did fade.
A sharp moonbeam fell on a painting.
A lady, lovely but eyes glaring.
She screamed at the bad boys for stealing
The treats, in a manner unfeeling.
Fear entered their souls as all sweets fell.
The woman uttered a nasty spell
The moon shone brightly on the beauty.
On her lap, she kissed her black booty.
Many came to see cat on her lap,
It is witchcraft, said a nervous chap.
No one dared enter the house at night,
They'd rush out in fear, scratched and uptight.
Merlin the cranky cat
sat around getting fat.
Wanting to be heard
he mewed and purred.
He yowled and howled
and even growled
all with the same result.
He felt it quite the insult.
He snarled and hissed
What had he missed?
He tried a mewl
and lost his cool.
Short of a caterwaul
what should he call?
A tiny squeak perhaps?
Were they taking naps?
Chirrups and chirps
brought no alerts.
His tail-raising trills
brought no thrills.
He wanted dinner now.
He raised a loud MEOW!
Using the magic word
he finally was heard!
Merlin became the Magic Cat
in his tuxedo and top hat.
The other cats took their cue.
“Meow” meant “Please and thank you!”
The moral is if dinner you choose,
learn to mind your Ps and Mews!
It was early this morning when I went outside.
A busy back yard opened my ears & eyes wide...
Mockingbirds mocking, chasing each other around,
as my 4 squirrels munched from their sunflower seed tray
I leave on the ground...
There were Gold Finch eating thistle,
and Chickadees eattin' cracked corn while they whistled...
House Finch eating feed that had spilt to the ground,
while a Sparrow simply enjoyed fresh bugs
on the Camilia as they walked around...
A Titmouse plays its tune while it eats
(Sunflower seed hearts are it's "Preferred" Morning treats}
Then a Jay squacked its tune as he picked up a peanut
from my grandpa's feeder dish,
thinking, "Where can I bury these, that I surely won't miss?"
7 or 8 times the Jay sounded that he was back,
(And each time our cat "Pudd" mewed from underneath ready to attack)...
Then a surprise of a Woodpecker with its repetitive little tap,
I wonder if it's eating bugs that are stuck in the fence wood sap?
Welp, my wildlife may be spoiled, that might surely be
Why even the hummer is quenching his thirst on two different
flavored Fushcia's hanging right above me....
But with sunny skies and highs of 70 for the weather,
could an early morning "Monday" be any better?
The masked stranger
Tenderly the ranger stood
With kitty in his arms
The saloon fight had rendered her
Enraptured by his charms
His easy strength and gentle face
Though hidden by his mask
Left saloon Kitty faint of heart
Almost afraid to ask
‘Say masked stranger
Are you the law?’
She mewed in melting tones
‘I am,’ the stranger answered
‘This racoon rides alone.’
And so the legend started
Of a masked and lone lawman
Though others have
in other times
Adapted his lone stand.
A caterpillar ran along
my bedroom floor and rested there
my kitty cat mewed it a song
and up it sent a yearning stare
I picked it up, the crawling thing
all green and wobbly and naive
"my thorns beware because they sting"
I said and paused fearing he'd leave.
The kitty looked up from below
and shook my stem to make him fall
but he held fast and she lay low
then shivered as she heard me call:
"Darling," I said, "don't be so grim,
my rosy perfume is for you
as much as for your brother, dream,
for cats and worms I'll be a rose
prickly and motherly and true."
ButtercupShalimar was a cat, that was white
She was fluffy and furry and real girl girly.
One day, in a baskety in the bedrommy,
She had six kittiebabies with big, big loud cries . . .
Mew mew mew MEW! They all cried and, all the time!
And soon they grew grew grew grew and GREW!
There were three girl kitties and three boy kitties, too
The girl kitties were all sugar and spice sweetness,
And their names were SquigglesWigglesGreyKitty,
PebblesFluffyWhiteKitty and TickleCuddlesOrangeKitty.
The boys were called, DoodlesDafferBrownKitty,
WeeblesWonkiSpottedKitty and last PuddlesRascalBlackKitty.
The boys were all hoop and holler, you know boys!
Well, life for ButtercupShalimar was upanddownable,
It was CRAZY keeping track of the six hooligans
but she needed a rest outside, so she left them sleeping,
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ . . .
When ButtercupShalimar came back it was all topsy turfy
in the housedippity with the back and forth and up and down
of six rough and ready kittiebabies all aroaming unsupervised!
She gathered them up and started counting . . .
One kitty, two kitty, three kitty, four kitty, five kitty . . . huh
"OH MY WHISKERS!" Screamed ButtercupShalimar,
"Where is SquigglesWigglesGreyKitty!
So they searched the housedippity, they all marched,
up and down, around and around, up in the attic
and even down in the basement, they yelled,
"Has anyone seen SquigglesWigglesGreyKitty?"
They mewed mewed to the dog, the bird in its cage,
and even a mouse walking by!
"Oh dear, oh dear, OH Dear ME, where could she be?"
And the five all answered at once, "WE DON'T KNOW, know."
All exhausted and dragging their paws they went
to the baskety in the bedroomy for a wee rest,
And whatdoyouthunk they saw all curled upidy
SquigglesWigglesGreyKitty with her head tucked under her paws!
So, if you lose a kittiebabie, look in the baskety in the
bedroomy closetety, FIRST!
___________________________
August 20, 2015
Poetry/Free Verse/ButtercupShalimarCat
Copyright Protected, ID 15-702-352-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Childrens Story, Dr. Suess Style,
Sponsor, Casarah Nance
Sixth Place
Electioneering
Somewhere in the mind of America is the simmering consciousness of legislative morality… where the politicians and rhetoricians are more than magical magicians
I see you America, with your brains spinning and your eyes rolling
Fingers wagging in blame game naming and shaming
Hypocrisy is your middle name in misled Middle America where the Middle Class is lost in the shuffle of meddling rhetoric spewed by mewed misanthropic women and men in new pants and suits and suitpants
I see you looking out to the horizon, heading for the future and looking for the past on a TV screen where extreme left and extreme right don’t battle for Middle America…
– where Americans meet in the middle and talk sense to each other –
…they battle for radical ideologies that alienate the middle and satisfy the fringe who binge on the ‘beautiful’ chaos of the moment and the month and the electioneering year
Stump speeches, primaries, media polls, emails, and end goals – what does it mean?
Was it Goethe who told us to “speak a few reasonable words” every day? Do we hear them? When America takes his advice it may be too late – It is too late – Is it too late? Too late to satiate and placate the masses of Middle America?
Electioneering in an election year; engineering for a future too near…
The madness of the cats began. They came from Ulthar and
Singaloon, in my dreams, and from cellars and old steeples by day.
By Day! I saw the twitching tails snake madly, as yellow eyes
glared hungry and I feared for my flesh.
You think I am mad. But you haven’t seen the horde of furred
demons crouching in the shadows of chairs, squirming out of closets,
heard them yowling in the old barns.
“They’re after me,” I cried to my wife, but she only purred.
“I need a sedative, anything to help me sleep," I told my
doctor, but he only offered me a saucer of warm milk.
I called the police, and they just suggested the Animal Rescue. I
told them what I was going to do instead, and slammed down the phone.
My wife mewed insincerely, till the rat poison finished her.
My next-door neighbor asked too many questions, till I distracted him
with cat-nip, so that he didn’t see my knife.
Now the police are outside, they want my rifle, and think
because I am only a mouse who cannot climb trees, that I won’t fight.
Let them come in. The buckshot will make their fur fly!
A Doll to the Clinic
Overlooking from the counter
Then I saw her,
With a bairn on the shoulder
Wearing a face that mowed a smile.
under duress she enters
In nexus of tumult,
And couldn't bear the queue run
'Cause she had badly needed to see nurse.
Then was all around me fast and quick stamping her feets
It was vivid the doll couldn't breath.
T'was risky to intake in black and white
so I pointed to the door right.
In array of bermuda triangle hastily she left.
I was playing a second fiddle,
I did smell the rat
But wasn't sure to let out the cat.
Just few minutes in inspection
So scary and unbeary she mewed,
I recalled the doll I saw
And visualized it fall purses.
She thrown herself out of the room
Weeping to flooding floor as
Patients joined her match in gloom,
Marvels and fainted.Then we revive her to comforting.
The gunman secures by his concealed identity
shrouded in mystery, shadows lurking out of sight
kills, by order, greed, and convenience.
With blood-stained conscious
Our land Sliding into anarchy, becoming a boiling cauldron
But where is the unknown gunman from?
Every time he showed up spending noisy hours,
he left unscathed perhaps the cries of the victims
couldn’t rouse the night watch men from their slumber,
honestly, they must have been tired.
After all our leaders only condemn such act
and as good citizens we weren’t expecting more.
Our leaders tiptoe and mewed
oh, the fear is potent. it’s a cold war but who’s after us?
Here, crimes can be control except that of the unknown gunmen
Amid the deep smoke from his firearm
Many lives brought to their unexpected end,
Maybe these gunmen are not truly unknown.
Since the impart of the state are rarely felt
the government remain unknown by most citizens
probably they’re all unknown,
the decimation of the night watch men is a flight into anarchy,
once violence is allowed to sit,
it cannot be ordered to leave.
while officials rehash old press releases
with misguided rhetoric, daily doses of media reports
on activities of the unknown gunmen are relentless.
With many federating units like the polygamous home of an African king,
justice, equity, and fair play should be central place
only then can we raise and dust ourselves to face the future which is now.
A tiny black kitten mewed at me
Green eyes like diamonds sparkling
I motioned 'Come here;' she jumped in my arms
Yet in the morning she'd clean disappeared
I 'Here-kitty-kittied' up and down all the streets
Hoping against hope, my pretty kitty to meet
But instead of 'mew-mew,' there was 'bow-wow' and 'ruff-ruff'
~ For my tiny kitty I cried... I think I've told you enough
Crystal, my flea bitten nuisance of a kitten, brought me a little token of affection tonight.
I deplore mice.
Even dead ones.
Filthy buggers.
But, there sat Crystal. Mouse at her feet, mewing at me. As if to say
"See, I love you, even if you are a blood lusting monster of the dark."
I admit, she only mewed once. But I am certain, that is what she meant.
So as not to hurt her feelings, I donned on of my least favorite pairs of gloves and
picked the rancid vermin up.
But I drew the line of pretending to eat it!
I must remember to burn those gloves.
Odd. The candle on my desk sputters. There is a breeze. Although the door to my lair
was tightly shut.
There is only on other way in or out. That would be the small tunnel I dug for Crystal.
So that she may come and go as she pleases.
Ah. But here rests my cantankerous little fiend upon my lap.
The breeze brings with it a scent. One I know all to well.
Blood.
My lair has been breeched.
Time to hunt.
~Lord Kellington
You know my Sullivan a pet simian ghost
Rolling in blanket as warm as toast
'Watch out, it's my territory', cried out my cat
Just returned from a mission ' to smell a rat'.
It was an eviction but Sullivan braved it out
Clapped his eyes on the grinning feline's snout
He had the world by the tail and he stood erect
Jumped through the hoops to get my bed wreck'd.
And Meenie my cat was not of irrational type
She really hated to blow a hype
She purred and mewed and got her dues
Of milk cream fish broth salami huge.
I was sad for my Sullivan the ghost
In the dead of night he asked for a roast.