Best Menopause Poems

Ted’s libido has now gone astray
He refused a quick roll in the hay
So what could be the cause -   
It’s the male menopause   
He’s been grumpy and snappy all day!
 
His testosterone levels have dropped  
Many Viagra pills he has...

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We forced her into menopause well ahead of her time.
Mother Nature’s prematurely changing and we’ll regret our crime.
We cut off her tresses that once bushed across her land,
polluted her oceans and soiled her golden sand.
Moody and unpredictable her volcanic eruptions flows,
fed a daily diet of...

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When Betty hit the menopause
her symptoms all came on at once,
with her brain fog; she feels a dunce!

At night in bed, the hot sweat pours
and her nightie is soaked right through
she changes; then runs to the loo!

Bill tries to speak and Betty ROARS
as her mood...

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MM 
Menopause Moment


It comes on uninvited
And it doesn't make you excited
Heart flutters ensue
To an almighty hue
Of crimson red 
Lighting up your face and head

Next comes the tsunami of sweat
Accompanied by an almighty dread
Will anyone see the tell tale signs
Will they think l’ve been on the...

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Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord for no more heat
For if it comes, I’ll be awake
I pray the Lord, don’t make me bake

I’ll even get down on my knees
And pray the Lord “Lord, pretty please”
Please don’t turn my furnace on
My flesh...

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Some call it flushing, Some call it flashing 
but when mother suffered dad would come dashing
I think he was worried he might get a bashing
but a ten year old boy just couldn't help laughing .

Mum boiling over thinking no one is caring 
Under her breath...

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The menopause has hit me,
My oestrogen is going,
I'm very hot and sweaty,
My face all red and glowing.

My mood is unpredictable,
I scream and then I shout,
My waistbands getting tighter,
I'm fatter without a doubt.

My hair is getting thinner
On the top of my head,
But it's sprouting out of...

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Dear Menopause,

             Thank you for the irregular menstrual flow
             When it will show up;I don't know 
    ...

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~Female Menopause~

Skin that was so soft with the glow still upon it, 
Smooth and luscious and warm to caress,
Young and lovely it used to be,
Not now, oh woe, my skin is a mess.

I shaved my legs my underarms too,
 I never thought I’d grow a...

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~The Male Menopause~

Did you know girl's, men run on hormones too?
They are not so different girls from me or from you
But when a man reaches his fifties he becomes unstable
To blame it on the woman though, - that he is still able.

He never likes to...

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Menopause uggg

Adam was given work for his sin
Eve was given the privilege to produce kin

Never once was menopause mentioned 
Who created this invention?

They say get an ablation, it’s the best thing since apple pie
You’ll stop bleeding and you don’t have to try 


What they don’t...

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It's only October but I'm in despair
So I'm writing to old St Nick
My feet are up no care for my hair
In bedroom feeling quite sea sick

I know I'm very blessed today
Even if it's normal pink pain
Years roll on like a test of faith
I STILL bleed...

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IS IT HOT IN HERE?
I`m a physical, mental wreck, waiting for a beard
I have no sense of time, I`m definitely weird.
I`m peri-menopausal, go from blazing hot to cold,
I have wrinkles, bags, am fat, and very very old.
I sometimes find my my car keys in obscure...

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I wish to speak for the cause of women now in menopause.
I once heard a man joke or may be it was just a poke.
What really does this stage cause?
Do men now look but yet they pause?
I went thru it so long ago.
It's just a...

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A Woman’s lot!

Not yet 50 - well nearly - but not yet!
But I would never have bet
That this would be the year
That would start to drive me to tears
And night sweats….and brain fog
That makes life at times a bit of a slog

Now, who in their...

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