Best Married Man Poems
A Dog Named Sex
My pooch is not named Rover, Fluffy, Spot or Rex.
I wanted something different, so I named my puppy, Sex.
To renew my doggie’s license. I went down to City Hall.
“I’d like a license for Sex”, I said. He said, “Wouldn’t we all?”
“You must not have understood, I need it for my mutt.”
“I really don’t care how she looks, if she’s ugly, fine or what.”
“But Sir, I must tell you, I’ve had Sex since I was four!”
You are no more than a braggart”, and he showed me out the door.
Newly married, we brought our pet along for the honeymoon.
I told the clerk, “A place for us and for Sex, a special room.”
“Every room has a place for sex. Every room has a bed.”
“But Sex keeps me up at night.” “It keeps me up, too”, he said.
At our divorce the court gave all my possessions to the wife
I protested, “Please Your Honor, I had Sex before my married life!”
The judge then said that he did, too. “It’s not a real big crime”
“But Sir, before we tied the knot, I had Sex all the time”
The judge said that I could still have sex, so I took my hound and ran.
My wife then said that she’d miss Sex, so I stayed a married man.
Last night Sex ran off again as we walked around the block.
A cop pulled up and asked me if I knew it was three o’clock.
I told him that I was looking for Sex and he took me straight to jail.
Now I’m waiting for my trial to come and can’t get out on bail.
…if I ever get another dog, I think I’ll name him,
“Whoopie” or “Boom-Boom!” Anything but Sex!
I volunteered in a soup kitchen to help the needy;
the homeless and the lonely, the addicts and the seedy.
For me in the kitchen, it was a place to socialize,
while I was helping out with many others doing likewise.
Susie James who is a single girl had trouble finding work.
Susie volunteers her time so, she is not one who will shirk,
helping out and giving smiles when handing out the soup,
and so becoming well respected in amongst our group.
Alas Susie admitted, with some sorrow in her voice,
when it comes to men she is forever making a wrong choice.
Susie explained that men she’s drawn too always have to lie,
for they are either married or have partners that is why.
So when a young man unbeknown has entered to assist,
Susie’s eyes were roving and she just could not resist,
to call this handsome man across to us and he didn’t balk,
and I heard the conversation as the pair of them did talk.
The first thing Susie asked him; “Are you a married man?”
“Not in the eyes of man”, he said, when answering dead pan.
‘So this man’s not married’, Susie smiled. ‘That’s a start at least’.
“Do you work?” And he replied, “Oh yes, I am a priest”.
I’ve been married for some twenty years
And sometimes I make my wife cry.
Now I have a mantra when I bring her to tears;
“I’m wrong; I’m scum; I deserve to die.”
It doesn’t matter if I am right or wrong;
I don’t even need to know why.
When it goes too far, I sing my song;
“I’m wrong; I’m scum; I deserve to die.”
It’s not that I don’t argue or plead my case;
It’s not that I’m a wimpy guy,
But when she starts to wear that hurt face;
“I’m wrong; I’m scum; I deserve to die.”
It’s my way of ending a useless fight,
To achieve that, there’s nothing I won’t try.
Never go to bed being angry at night;
“I’m wrong; I’m scum; I deserve to die”.
So, if you want some advice from a happily married man,
The next time you make your lover cry
Look her in the eye and say, while holding her hand,
“I’m wrong; I’m scum; I deserve to die.”
It was her kitchen, her family, and my newly-married man, and I aimed to please her by properly being fed.
With a smile and a swish, “We have butterscotch pudding pie for dessert!” My brand spanking new mother-in-law said.
Her excitement had no knowledge of the instant memory of horribleness that leaped instantly to my own quickly confused head.
I tried to take an invisible pretend bite while the family all watched, eagerly waiting but my traitorous mouth played dead.
Tears filled my eyes, as I was unnaturally smothered with the sad, angry hurt of my long-ago favorite butterscotch pie.
The feelings came so damned fast, I could not stop them at all or even slow them down, and they surrounded me, and made me cry.
When I was eleven, my family of origin was in the kitchen, laughing, and playing, and goofing around.
When the phone rang, I was asked to get it, because it was wire-attached to the wall, and I was the closest to the retched sound.
I had never heard my mother wail or keen until that day, certainly never heard her yell, “DICK!” or fall without any game to play.
Our big Dad jumped up faster than we had ever seen, grabbed rag-doll Mom before she hit the kitchen counter in a not so great way.
We all turned pure white, which was odd because we were usually pink. Fascinated, yet, hungry, I took my first bite, and heard the words “Mom is dead, and Dad’s dead too.”
We kids started shaking, sad and scared. Grandma and Grandpa were our king and queen. When things calmed down in a second or two that damned butterscotch pie tasted like glue.
Everyone wailed wild-eyed, faces red. The cousins came, and we huddled together and cried and screamed how great it was sob, sob, that they both went to heaven.
Yes, I know that was many years ago but when my feelings took my body over loud and clear, they clamped my mouth tightly shut, because I was back to 11.
Think again if you thought you could use me
Thought you were my friend but you're nothing
Talk to me like I'm not a lady
I'll teach you a little something
Been in love with me all these years
Never got over me, how sweet
Too bad I never loved a married man
Didn't you wonder why there was nothing from me?
Back then you'd be so lewd, so gross
My boyfriend's best friend, so it's a joke
I had no confidence in you back then, I did lately
But you think you can just talk crazy to me?
I'll break your heart again, I still know how
I hate you for killing our friendship
One of the few people I actually talked to
You promised to always have my back
Now you broke my faith like so many others
I say it's fair game now hun
To break your heart when you think you won
Every day that goes by, I tell myself
one day it will all be worth it.
These past 2 year haven't been for nothing.
But then I think to myself ,can I honestly say that?
Im in love with a married man!
No it will never be worth it...
Everyday once were finally together, he will accuse me of cheating.
Every day after were finally together, he will not trust me cuz I cant trust him.
Everyday after were finally together, I will realize that maybe wanting what someone else has, isn't good for me.
Every day after were finally together, I will understand why his wife wasn't making him happy anymore.
Every day after were finally together, I will remember I gave up a child for u!
Every day after were finally together, I will realize that he will never loved me like I thought he did.
one day after were finally together, I will realize that I just don't love him anymore.
Shakespeare's quill gave Romeo and Juliet a tragic ending
but that's a sad love story I think needs a bit of mending.
Yes, he's the Bard, but quite frankly it broke my heart
to learn they both died needlessly. I hated that part.
In my rewritten dialogue between them, I'd find a way
to change their ill-fated future and have Juliet say,
"Romeo, it's only for you that my heart will ere yearn.
I will simply fake my death and when our families learn
that we've left Verona, we will be married... man and wife
and be together as we have planned, happy with life."
The messenger she sent to give Romeo the good news,
I'd replace with a more diligent one that I would choose.
I'd have made the couple more intelligent and shrewd,
perhaps put an end to the Montague and Capulet feud.
The tale of star-crossed lovers would end on a happy note,
without Juliet seeming to have died. No need for an antidote.
When Juliet says, "Romeo. Romeo. Wherefore art thou?"
He would come to her on the balcony, and he would vow...
"Juliet, I swear, never did my heart love until now.
For I never saw true beauty til this night,
and if perchance our families had forbidden us to wed,
from Verona we would've left. From Italy we would've fled.
With apologies to Shakespeare, my edit I would offer,
not a penny nor one Euro would I take for my coffer.
Indulge me for just a moment for I'm a romantic at heart,
and dared alter the ending by not keeping the couple apart.
Love, I hate you,
Not ‘cos you’re ugly.
Love, I hate you,
Not ‘cos you don’t love me.
Love, I hate you,
‘Cos of your great love to me.
Love, I hate you, ‘cos of it;
A listener, you don’t want to be.
.
You heeded not what I said,
Even thou, I beg you, to “back off!”
“Now, Look!
You see… what we’ve done!?”
A soul is in grieve,
‘Cos of us.
With your love,
My soul cries, too.
Love, I hate you,
For intoxicating me, with your potion.
Thou, you know…
I am a married man.
SOOTHING STRANGERS
Two sweet old ladies serve to strangers - strays.
Carafe of wine and conversation soothes.
No need for pillows soft. They do not stay.
The old maids learned their craft in Summer’s youth.
A visit from a newly married man —
Their nephew’s scared for them, alone and frail.
His daft and anxious mood akin to clan.
His aunts, they mutter, that he’s very pale.
Their brother charges down the stairs. He thinks
He is the presidential “teddy bear.”
He’s digging locks to bury all who drink.
Of all the callers seen not one they spare.
A kindly threat from wry and wrinkled face.
Delicious choice — this arsenic and lace.
7/22/2018
Your Finest Sonnet Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Mark Massey
*Arsenic and Old Lace was a dark comedy starring Cary Grant.
She's in the cut, with a different kind of fabric
She earns minimum wage, but her Instagram is lavish
Trust me I don't know how she keeps the balance
Probably got a married man who injects cash in her balance
That's why it's not a challenge
Until he gets tired of her and he beats with her belt
Now she's drowning in her tears, and hoping for a Michael Phelps
He raped her, he thought he owned her just because he provided the paper
She couldn't go to the police station
They are going to tell her she deserved it
Her friends are just as bad, they're serpents
Now she feels dirty, she's seeking for detergent
She wanted to do tests, the public hospital doctor told her it wasn't urgent
When she finally did, she found out she got AIDS
Too embarrased to use ARVs, so she started counting her days
Months went by, she wasn't rocking Christian Dior anymore
Gave herself to the Lord, she was a Christian who decided to read more
Took those ARVs, and started building a life
Started stitching up the wounds and pulling out the knives
That doesn't make it better though, she's still another statistic
If you heard how many women were raped on a daily you'd go ballistic
They tell them that their skirts are too short
Then they look at her in disgust when she has to abort
Happens again and again, because the perpetrator know he ain't going to court
In a world obsessed with sex
when it ends in misery
like it often does
What can they expect.
Call me old fashioned
but don't morals care and feelings matter any more
or is it just one foot in the bedroom
and one foot out of the door.
For me
I need more.
I need love
to feel loved
to give love
to make love.
Making love doesn't have to start
or finish in a bedroom
but anywhere
soft caring words an embrace a stroke of her hair
showing . some one how much you care.
Being alone
Sometimes I yearn just to hold someone
feel the warmth of her body
and kiss
that's something I really miss.
wrapped up in each others arms
by a warm log fire
on a cold winters day.
Watching a movie together
and listening to what each others has to say.
Giving caring sharing
and maybe something more daring.
Someone you can implicitly trust
faithful to quench your lust
a must.
Getting in bed is much sweeter
when you love your señorita
and just not for kicks.
Just as God planned
the love between a married woman
and married man.
Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Jan.
There once was an old hag named Dawn
Over a married man online she would fawn
Though she fancied him often
They had nothing in common
And her comments made him wan
When he politely turned her down
She sat, with an acid frown
But there is more to this picture
You see, Dawn was a spinster
And her schizophrenia was akin to a loaded round
She fancied herself a prophet of God
The scientist she was pursuing was hardly awed
He lived it up online with his friends
But her stalking behavior with others should portend
His sense of security would soon be trod
Dawn had a penchant for delusion
("Don't all 'prophets'", suggested the atheist's conclusion!)
And as her warped mind played its tricks
It conjured up a scenario so sick
And none could distract her from her intrusion
She stalked him, day and night
Posting threats and his address online
She decided he was pretending to be other people
And her invective turned so lethal
That some she accused of being him were in quite a fright
As months became consumed with her obsession
Her poor husband and daughter lived in depression
She got fatter and fatter
And his friends' comments on these matters
Accelerated her ego's aggression
She threatened him with scripture
And cut the head off of a belly dancer's picture
But he remained unimpressed
Happily married, he stressed!
But on her rotten mind, he was still a fixture
I always knew something about you would fade.
Your words never could reach my soul,
But they ripped my heart in half.
With every being of who you are you tired,
And tired but it never worked.
And who I am seems to be frowned upon,
Time and time again.
I was never enough for you,
And someday you'll move on to something great,
To someone greater.
And we're gonna grow apart,
One day I'll see you somewhere and remember you.
You'll be a married man and far past us,
And it won't matter to you.
It'll still scar me and even if right now
I appear as the stronger one, it won't be like this forever.
I'm breaking down on the inside, I just don't show it.
And you don't know the control you have,
I just had to write you this so you would know,
That I'm moving on' and letting go,
Even though I don't want to.
You'll keep going about your life,
And keep regretting me like you have been,
And I've never regretted you.
I feel like I've been pushed down,
Pushed down, cut and pushed into the dumpster.
The sadness is this is no longer a poem.
This isn't a work of art,
This is a sad way of writing a letter to a lost friend,
A lost friend who shouldn't be lost.
A lost friend who should still be mine.
But I'll give you my acceptance of moving on when it feels,
While it feels unbearable. And I've lost you.
Odds against me, I doubt I'll ever have you again.
I've never been enough for you,
And I can't bear to try to be perfect anymore.
I can't feed you the lies so I'm enough for you.
I guess I'll always be imperfect,
And unable to be yours.
Hopefully you aren't always lost;
Love and leave,
Joy and tears,
Mine and gone,
One day we'll see.
By hook and crook
I passed two days of lockdown.
On 3rd day i made up my mind
Not to take task at home in hand.
I left kitchen and home on her behalf.
But 12 hours of day
I couldn't spend without work.
So i decided to play an adventure game
My soulmate was competent in the game.
First of all i made a cloth ball with my hands
We shall try to catch it on both end.
She and i entered into the hall
To play game with hands made ball.
The rules of game were decided first
Hold catch 2 points and dropped catch 3 points
We started it only for fun
But regret, we forgot it very soon.
I threw the ball
She caught and scored two points .
She tried to dodge me
But i caught and started with same points.
The game was going on
Throw and catch
Catch and throw the ball.
Clapped at every point
We were the players
We were the spectators
Enjoying game at both ends.
But my fate never liked my happiness
I was just behind her on points table
It my turn to throw the ball
I held it as rugby player hold ball.
Threw it hard towards her
Unfortunately she missed the ball
It made her face an extra ball.
The game was finished without declaration
No one defeated, no one was win.
One side the flooded Ganges
Other hand the hungry lioness
Childhood song i understood this day.
Hurt lady at home
Corona warrior was on road
To catch culprit of lockdown
Difficult to select
Either stayed in or out in lockdown.
I stood unmoved till conscious back
Hurriedly i took towel to use as mask
Opened the doors and ran out.
'Stay in', ordered a cop to me
But who had time to listen it.
A ball from my doors targeted me
But this time luck saved me.
Married man knew married man very well
So he helped me to save from hell.
He said me politely,
'stand under margosa tree in isolation '
I followed his instructions with deep breath
But it was damn evening
When honest man asked me,
'Choose home or quarantine of 14 days'
There was no option
So defeated soldier turned back to home.
She was sitting in sofa as queen
Watched as tigress looked lamb in grass green.
She turned on the TV at high volume
Highlights of WWE was going on tv screen
Punches after punches listened neighbours
With wrecked smile on lips
They asked me next day
' who won the match yesterday?
I am a nurse. It is a difficult job, very stressful and emotional. The patients need
us to be at our best. Nurses are required to be dedicated, caring, responsible and
compassionate to others. Nurses need tons of empathy not only for their patients
and families, but for each other. Now, I have met some mean people in my life
so far, you know friends who disappoint, even family members at times. But I was
shocked to find a nurse who was the absolute worst gossip and bully. Imagine
that! She would join groups to degrade, gossip, insult, sabotage, be mean and
spread lies. How can there be team work with bullying going on? Each person even
if a newbie should be treated with respect, after all everyone was new once! It
always appalled me and from my very beginnings I have never been part of gossip.
Once, for fun, I told the big gossip a story, that I was having an affair with a
older, well off, married man, and I whispered, "PLEASE, don't tell anyone!" Well,
that spread like wildfire. Seriously, a nurse being so cruel is something no one
would expect but trust me she is a pretty good talker. " Oh did you see her
flirting at the Christmas party with every guy!( I think that one was TRUE) Did you
see how much time she spends with her patients and with talking to the families,
REALLY! Oh look at her playing goody, goody with the head nurse! Did you know
she is having an affair with an older, well off, married man, yes, its true she told
me herself!"
this girl was brand new
I did not understand why-
my t e a r s gave me strength
_____________________________
June 15, 2016
Poetry/Narrative with Senyru/The Pretty Talker
Copyright Protected, ID 16-800-637-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Pretty Talker,
sponsor, Skat
Fourth Place