Best Lancashire Poems

IT’S A MAD WORLD In a Lancashire Accent.

I went to the Confectioners today, there was a long queue outside, a metre apart, and it had started to rain. 
The assistant behind the counter had shiny eyebrows, they were that shiny they looked like plastic leeches...

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There was young man from Lancs
who had a strange way of saying thanks.
With his mate Billy
they'd do something silly
like rolling in the mud down the banks....

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I bet he's up there, his nag astride, 
Ferret in sack, terrier by side.
I bet he's up there charming a lass, 
Ciggy in gob and mild in glass.
I bet he's up there seeing united win, 
Hollering and swearing " get it in".
I bet he's up...

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'JACK the DAW' (In Lancashire Dialect)

Struttin’ and Puffin’ his big chest out,
The streets all clear, when he’s about.
Inside all’doors, waitin’  for’ thump
Families quake and animals jump!

Mam goes to’ door, money in hand
Shakin’ as she stares at his black neck band,
She dares’nt look in his...

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THE LANCASHIRE LAD 1914-18

Hello Mother, a nurse is writing this for me,
I’ve lost my arm and a bit of my leg you see,
But I’m up on crutches and hobbling about,
So this afternoon, they’re shipping me out!
Please tell Maud next door ‘bout Tommy and Joe and...

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Lancashire the land  i love
with Gods blessing from above
a land where I was meant to be
a land where all are strong and free

With history told down through the years
my Lancashire of love and tears
though years ago, we had to part
your place is still within...

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A  LANCASHIRE  LIASON

“Laugh an world laughs with yer” she said, as she cum in.
I said,“ Do you live in a barn?” 
 She grimaced an with er large left arm she swung out an shut door.
“Are y’ ere to read last rites? No?...

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So you want to hear a story, first of all there is no morning glory. Your feet touch the floor its cold as ice as is the water, what a surprise.
With sleepy eyes you look for your clothes, best thing just follow your nose, they...

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The air was damp inside the house, chill creeping through the walls
 Swags and Tails with dusty eyes seep through the faded falls.
  The garish group sat silently hands splayed upon a table square
Whilst the caller whispers low and weak, “Is there anybody there?”

They...

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