Best Kidnappers Poems

He said he was on quite a spree.
I asked what his next crime would be.
   I meant it in jest,
   As you’ve probably guessed,
But he took me literally....

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If kidnappers grab me, I will kick out their tail lights
Put my hand out and wave to other drivers on the freeway
If this does not work, I will kick the trunk until it pops open
I will wave down the police 
If the kidnappers stop and...

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Guys eyeing a staggering ransom
And willing to unleash the gruesome
The senders to follow their uncomfortable instructions
Or get ready for the unpleasant ructions.

In a matter of minutes gagging protesting lips
On disobedient backs landing punitive whips
A chaining of the resisting limb,
Hopes of rescue making slim.

In unthinkable venue...

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