Best Jeez Poems
The clock chastises me,
as painted petals bloom brilliance
in illuminated wonder that attempts
escape from the hidden crevices
deep within my beleaguered mind.
The beauty I seek is but an allusive dream,
flowing rags of worthless chattel
that fill me with words, heavy, like stone,
my rhymes but pointless emotional prattle.
Yet, still my need must pursue that dream
to create another verse so sublime as to define
me as me in a world filled with poetic doppelgangers
and, so, I write just one more sad, lonely line.
"Extant nectared incense she lit, burning inside, slow but alone,
Arrogant me, let her leave, as here I sit, awaiting the unknown."
Clever, perhaps, but are my words,
like the melancholy song of the lonely Lune,
beautiful?
Geez, or should I say jeez, no Cuneiform here,
shall I try once more...
"crystalline sparkles
achromatic winter jewels
spring paints with colors"
...to bring out in me that which,
through these many years of seeing
my world ravaged with emotional upheaval,
still, in its turn, allowing me to experience
love and enchantment from eyes
that held me in the warmest embrace.
"I see the storm as rage engulfs those lovely eyes,
the blue intrepid sea of passion's lost release.
Inside, the tears of torment flow to sooth the lies,
yet, pain remains in every moment's wish for peace.
As burning anger seethes inside of you
the path it seeks obscures your point of view,
and leaves the ragged scars of bitter love
left blurred like mist in sodden clouds above.
Emotional, these moments steal your gentle heart
and eat in to the darkened void that once was you,
but misplaced hate can not keep you and I apart,
when, with my shroud of love, your heart I will eschew.
I hope you'll see just how I feel for you,
for you are why I do these things I do."
Crap!
Total
crap I read!
and I chuckle
as I re-read it.
In a single sonnet,
iambic hexameter
and iambic pentameter,
the Bard must be turning in his grave;
I guess I'll have to try another day.
08/15/2018
Data Birth;
INFILE 'C\Fathersperm\Motheregg\9_months\The_One_Of_Shadows.txt';
INPUT FNAME = 'Yoni'
LNAME = 'Dvorkis';
Var Hidden_Meaning = "SAS code is not meant to be poetry you nut job";
Run;
Data Child;
Set Birth;
Where Age >= 4;
Var Worldview = Parents_Worldview;
Var Facial_Expression = compress('Fear'||'Bewilderment'||'Jews believe in guilt');
Run;
Data Teenager;
Set Child (Drop= Innocence, Baby_Fat, Cheerful_Disposition);
Where Age >= 15 and BAC_Level >= .01;
Var Worldview = (Peer_Pressure * 100) + Favorite_Teacher_Worldview
- Parents_Worldview;
Var Hidden_Meaning = "Where are you going with this?";
Run;
Data Adult;
Set Teenager (Keep= Anger, Intelligence, Need_For_Material_Wealth, Hatred_Towards_Body
Drop= A_Sense_Of_Security_In_An_Unforgiving_World);
Var Job_That_Slowly_Kills_You = "Healthcare Data Analyst and SAS Programmer";
Var Worldview = (Company_Mission_Statement + Family_Is_Most_Important)
/ Screw_Everyone_Else_I_Have_My_Own_Problems;
Where Age >= 21 and BAC_Level >= .15;
If Yearly_Salary >= 100,000 then
Self_Esteem = "Now I'm worth something!!";
Else if 50,000 = 65 and Yearly_Salary = "Whatever's left of Social Security";
Var Cynical_Being =
(Why_Did_It_Have_To_End_Like_This * Years_Hiding_In_Plain_Sight )
- The_Will_To_Keep_Going;
Run;
Proc sort data = Old_Man out = Old_Man_On_Deathbed nodupkey;
By What_This_All_Meant_To_Me;
Run;
Data My_True_Identity;
Merge Old_Man_On_Deathbed (in = a) God (in = b);
By _all_;
If b and not a;
Run;
Achieve greatness by running a race.
Break sound barriers- just go to outer space!
Climb a mountain to get a good workout.
Deliver a speech- you'll probably have to shout...
Earn some money by helping clean up.
Film a video where you put on makeup.
Graduate college, online, of course!!!
Hire for the future; build a great workforce!
Improvise a sketch and perform it for all.
Just watch a sad movie, and prepare to bawl.
Kidnap an animal, then keep it for yourself...
Laminate bookmarks and organize your bookshelf!
Make some yummy cookies, brownies, or a cake.
Nestle in; watch a show where all they do is bake.
Optimize your storage; start with the dresser...
Poke around a bit to find some hidden treasure!
Qualify for a job, or just peek at the website...
Read some poems; mine are sure to excite!!!
Sleep all day, then pull an all-nighter.
Take some time to become a songwriter!
Unfold some origami, and then fold it back again.
Vandalize something, if you can't, just plan when...
Wander around, and pretend you're mist.
X-out something on your bucket list.
Yammer on about your favorite subject.
Zip your zipper obsessively- jeez... are you occupied yet????
JEEZ LOUISE I DIN'T THINK I'D WIN, I HAVEN'T GOT A THING WRITTEN ON PAPE
OH WAIT, I THINK I HAVE A FEW SQUARES OF TOILET PAPER IN MY SOCKY-NICK
YUP ! HERE IT GOES LADIES AND GERMS.
'I WISH TO THANK ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND MY POETRY SOUP FACULTY
FOR THEIR LOYAL READS AND BRAVO ,BRAVO, GIVE ME MORE, PLEADS...
I WISH TO THANK MY ORGANIST WHO PLAYED WHILE I PIPPED OUT IN PRIDE
MY VIOLINIST AS HE HELD MY LITTLE BOW IN PLACE AS I SANG POOR ME
MY DJ CARLOS CUZ HE ALWAYS KEPT ME HAPPY AS I SANG THE OLD SONG
I WISH TO THANK MY EYELASH TINTER, MY HAIRDRESSER AND MY COVEN OF
WITCHES. WITHOUT THEIR BROOMSTICK POWER I'D BE STILL IN A COWER
JEEZE PELEASE NO CLAPS TODAY, IT MAY WRINKLE MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR.
OH AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST I'D LIKE TO THANK ARTHUR VASO FOR STARTING THIS FIASCO. HE IS THE MAN, FOR THE HUUPA HOORA TOORA TOORA LI SONG WE ARE POETS WE ARE STRONG.
I SHOULD KNOW CUZ WHEN IT COMES TO HUMOR, MY MY HE IS "KING" OK
NOW, ONTO REAL POETRY !!!
FROM YOUR BELOVED PIXIE
XOXO
I poop every morning after a Pizzelle slathered in Nutella
it is nine am in Italy and not a good time to eat mortadella
I poop after lunch after eating pizza with spicy pepperoni
it is twelve o'clock and way too early to eat my macaroni
I poop in the evening after my pasta al forno with cheese
its much too early for my salami sandwich, " Jeez Louise!"
I poop before bed and I let out a great Ah Ah, Mama Mia
as the neighbors yell out the window keep it down " Maria! "
Of course I poop like a proper Italian and here's the squeeze,
when we use the Latrina we fan ourselves to get a tiny breeze!
The phenomenon known as a sneeze
Hits with major velocity. Jeez!
What a mess might ensue
If you heard an “A-choo!”
From the guy on the flying trapeze.
For The Sneezing Limerick Poetry Contest
hosted by ~Gwendolen~
An alien abducted me
In his turbo space machine
He has promised he will set me free
If I help him find a queen .
Well I believe in true romance
I listen as he reels off his queens necessities
As he spoke I kept thinking '' No chance ''
and uttering the phrase ''oh Jeez ''
He says his queen just has to be
As gentle as a lamb
Never argue or disagree
and be eager to please her man .
She must not moan if he's watching telly
Or if he's drinking beer in a bar
and after midnight when his legs turn to jelly
She must pick him up in the car .
She must be immaculate and sexy
She must smell just like a rose
Never get a little tetchy
When she see's him pick his nose
She's got to feed the dog , Mind the kids
Keep the house sparkling clean
Listen to what his work mates did
In the turbo space machine .
See there is beer in the fridge
For when his mates come round
Make them all a sandwich
See the kids don't make a sound .
Though she may be worn out
By the rigours of the day
She must be ready to put out
and let him have his way .
Well the alien who abducted me
Sure wants his money's worth
but he won't get any help from me
So I am eternally orbiting the Earth.
While flying to Belize
I sat with ease
Knowing I held keys
To enjoy the land of my birth
But while flying to Belize
I said, jeez!
I'm the only black face
On this huge Delta flight
Yet, I choose to be pleased
Instead of being pissed
For such sight, my ancestors missed
When here and there they were dismissed
From such God given rights...
To sit, to stand wherever they choose
Instead, they suffered abuse
As if darkness gave no birth to light
But what fresh insight...
Belizean poets also hold keys
to unlock what's right
And that, my friend, holds might.
*
I do love cheese!
Jeez, Louise,
what artistry I see.
A scrumptious luscious fresh confection
waits here just for me.
It’s fine, so fine
and looks divine.
What an awesome feat -
to make dessert that looks almost
too beautiful to eat!
Oh, what a cake!
For heaven’s sake,
it’s like a rainbow pie. . .
You’ve got it quartered up real nice
in different colors. My!
It’s four in one;
son of a gun!
One part blueberry blue.
There’s cherry red, rum-drizzled (yum)
And chocolate flavored too.
It’s first to blue
I say “I do”
and take a hearty bite.
Ooh la la LA! My tongue awakes
to magical delight!
On to red. . .
Am I now dead?
Nirvana, here am I!
Near bliss achieved with baked sweet cheese
and mounds of cherries. . . . (sigh)
The color cream
with rum. . . a dream!
I think I’m in a trance.
This cheesecake is half gone now.
Let me loosen up my pants!
The dark and sweet
is left to eat.
What decadence! What sin!
This double trouble chocolate
has completely done me in.
You say each day
we’ll eat this way?
You’ve put on me a hex. . .
I’ve got to have you for my wife.
Your cheesecake outdoes sex!
For Linda-Marie Bariana's contest: "Dreamy Desserts"
As war ends,
Another begins,
As peace is forced to stand,
So is fight empowered to stand.
Where blood strive against blood,
Where is the love in the blood?
''Blood never lies'' is not in this,
Cause hatred flows in the mind,
Evil unfold in the heart,
Strength for strength,
Bloods in the veins will be
Let loose to taste the mother earth,
The temper increases,
So as the andrallin drops faster,
Heart beat on the pace,
To meet the race,
Fist to face,
Ideology. Of peace escapes
The memory,
As fast as a cheater,
Feelings expression is on the high concentration,
Voices roars in the air,
The tongue at work,
Respect lacks it value, dignity on the brick,
Honesty pricks,
What are meant not to be
Heard is throw openly,
Even encouragement to do more
Is applaud,
Who will settle this dispute?
It seems a funny place,
To hold a war is the house,
Called silence.
Elders words are not regarded,
Appetite is lose,
Appeasement is wrong in their sight,
Affirmative action is in place,
Where are we heading to?
I drop this pen by being
Non-committal,
"Let peace reign".
Endless strive for will,
Will powder is necessary,
Right for right,
Always a weak approach,
Intelligence test is in wrong order,
Elder brothe no-blesse oblige is lacking,
Who is the nit wit in this scene?
Respect for the dead disappears,
Revenge is not an option in this scene,
Need to revival love,
Should be put in place,
When will this fist end?
Lateral thinking should be welcome,
Je ne sais quoi of the elder brother
Is missing,
Jeez,
Jealousy on the tract,
The young jeering,
Several cheap jibes at the elderest,
The liquidator behind and energizing the war,
Understanding is a privilege.
The mother in charge of per diem,
So the house should be her prerogative
Right according to the will,
Can there be last ditch?
I wish is an utopia
Or what shall be the protend,
The event proved to be a protent
That was to come.
Jeez - how much mess can a
jovial toddler make!
Jello is smeared on his
jubilant face, and grape
juice drips from the highchair!
Just like his daddy, his
jaded granny recalls!
Checked with how many syllables
J Pleiades Contest
Sponsored by Kim Merryman
03~04~17
What stirs around me is evasive and true
A light appears over me glowing and spinning
I get a calm feeling when and ever it's due
People have seen it, gasping and pointing
They say "what was that, what did you just do?
There was a light spinning around, like a ring"
I always ask "what did it look like, what color hue?"
The usual answer is red and blue, what was that thing?
There was this family vacation where I was presumed dead
My older brother, a friend and I climbed up the back of Half Dome
We made it up Quarter Dome easily and wanted to push ahead
Half Dome was unreachable, six degrees of granite stone
We decided to go down it's face, through slides and lips
Cold winds chilled us as the sunshine elapsed
As darkness finally came, we found ledge where we could sit
Stuck halfway down, we blamed each other as the night passed
Suddenly we saw distant flashlights, a rescue team? We yelled
A group of five climbers made their way over to us
They thought we were a rescue team, sent up when night fell
Finding only three kids who had absolutely nothing
They questioned us, where was our spotlight, ropes and pins?
After a full inquisition about our flood light, they quit talking
At daybreak we all repelled down in an eerie silence
Finally down, we all shook hands, no one had died
Blue lipped, weak and in disbelief, we bowed to pray
This halo had got us back to camp, where mom and dad cried
A hundred search and rescue had searched night and day
The reality of this aura is undeniable
A thousand close calls and brushes with death
Everyone has said it's just indefinable
Turning my head in time or steering East instead of West
I live day to day with a bullet in my spine, it's true
My back feels like a constant third degree sunburn
All the doctors could say was "Oh jeez, lucky you"
Pastors would come to pray over me, all in turn
This went on for weeks, until one even threw holly water
I barked "father, you do this to everyone here?"
He replied "you have a gift, we travel many miles to see your shimmer"
They had come just to see me, he left and I cried so many tears
My eyes still water up when I think about those days
There are no lessons here on how to escape fate
I can't even claim this glowing stays the same
Just my story of faith, light and how I was saved
I
“What in carnation is this?”
A voice I hear in my sleep of dreams
and ghosts in the fog my only peace.
Early mornin’ frost chills and the rains
of discontent neither cleanse nor cease
II
I hear “Caramba Chico!”
This room, it reminds me so of you.
See the picture portrait, your silky hair,
your canvas brush stroke, your books
upon your shelf, your lonely empty chair
III
So it was in older days
a dry Penfolds filled your sherry glass,
and you of me did ask “is the table set?”.
Pelau or maybe ham ‘n hops to thankful fill
but you say “boy, tonight is macafouchette”
IV
“Christopher Columbus!”
You loved among the flowers to tread,
and so happily arrange the ones you took.
Sip sparklin’ shandy and light a cigarette,
write a letter home, read a paperback book
V
“Jeez-an-ages! For true?”
Into wet clay buried burden and pain
in the garage pedallin' the potter’s wheel.
Alone in your spinnin’ dreams, dear mother,
I remember how contented it made you feel
VI
And as the hour grew late
I would camp upon your bed a while.
Lay beside you - feel your warm breath,
and watch you read but “Aye Caramba”
nigh was your own tale of fear and death
VII
“Murderation! Is that so?”
Keeper, but not mine to keep for there
was end of time but no end of sorrows.
Healer, but not ours to heal - now all we
have are yesterdays and no tomorrows
VIII
“Jumping Jehoshaphat!”
Out of the land of the isle of Trinidad
landed crates of tins and jars from home.
But your cup was filled by joy and life
and for a brief short time filled my own
IX
Oh, how the music played,
closer and louder the beating drums -
Calypso Rose the Calypso Queen to be.
When we at Carnival danced but the music
died and now I long for its sweet melody
X
“Chuts!” Not hug, not kiss,
not gaze passed between us ever again
but your spirit guide my broken wings chase.
Now I listen for the soul of a hummingbird
on the wind flown and gone in gentle grace
Written: July 1993
I sit on a wall.
lessening to you all.
I can hear your complaints.
You all really need restraints!
As I sit on this wall.
So now I buzz by your face.
An acute race.
It make's me sad,
when you swipe at me,all mad.
As I buzz by your face.
Well let me tell you what.
You got a big butt!
and you eat too much!
It's a wounder ya don't need a crutch.
Ha! I so told you what!
This is a Cafe.
Jeez! How much do you weigh?
So I buzz on by.
I am only just a fly.
In this wonderful Cafe.
But maybe i should be more aware,
that you don't want to share.
cause now I'm a spot on the wall.
Not a fly, at all.
Yep, I should have been more aware.
(Ever sit at a table with an annoying fly?)
who is alexander the great....
i dont know, never taught
he is a great war hero...
what is war ?
jeez these kids ,well who is god...
you are the god
blasphemy...
what is blasphemy
well, what are you..
filled with love
where is god...
every where
WE ARE BEING EDUCATED NOW
what is happiness..
what we are
well you failed the test...
what is a test/
what is failing
SEE WE ARE GROWING IN EDUCATION