Best Irregardless Poems
Irregardless of effort
or desire,
we can't stop time.
Weeks fall into months,
seasons stream past
like runaway trains,
stamping birthdays on calendars,
etching wrinkles on skin,
planting age spots everywhere.
The galloping gobbler
moves ever onward,
with sharpened blade,
to slice away memories,
and bestow;
weaker eyesight,
diminishing strength,
brain skips,
plus popping joints.
Alas, twilight stops soon for thee,
Twilight stops, now, for me.
cfa ? 9/2/2012
Revised 4/20/2014
Our vain English teacher Miss Larue
Flaunts bad grammar without a clue,
Roars she, ‘ You’re scores is down
Irregardless, don’t frown’—
Her job , we guess, the school won’t renew!
.................
Limerick Contest of Joseph May
1/5/2019
The Day My Uncle Died...
I was thinking about the smile on my uncle’s face….
This was a before he would “leave this place."
I'll never forget the words shortly before he died.
The more I thought about it, the more I cried.
He said, "you know Jimmy I wish I got to know you better."
I never received another phone
call or even a letter.
A few days later he was ready to go to a funeral.
But it was also him who received a burial.
I was shocked and amazed as to what happened.
The events took place. There was no way
I could "stop them."
Memories I had were from many years ago.
I often think about him. And I do miss him so!
I suppose many don't take the time to realize...
How quickly life passes...
Then someone dies.
Perhaps there's someone in your
life you can think of…
There's been a situation that you're
embarrassed to "speak of/"
A harsh word said, and angry thought was spoken.
And soon your relationship has been "broken."
This may be a good time with this person to spend.
Irregardless if they're what you'd call a "friend."
Everyone is important to God who reigns above.
We need to be filled with his mercy and love.
The person you haven't seen shall one day disappear...
The days are short... Our journey's end is so near!
May God speak to our heart and help us to see...
Where will you and I be spending our eternity???
By Jim Pemberton
A TRIBUTE TO PRINCE FROM PONTIAC, MICHIGAN
Driving a new Colorado Storm into the City with the radio disc jockey playing a song of Prince.
The sky is clear and the sun is shining.
I feeling good irregardless.
Of course, he will be missed.
It seems like life is leaving today with a mental preference.
Is it better to believe in immortality?
His [Prince...] body was found in a peaceful state.
It seems to be best and in a better place.
Walking into my place of business with a solemn face.
My mind is preoccupied with thoughts of life itself.
It seems like so many known travel a foreseen path.
Transgression is life expectancy destine.
A lifetime is never aged when you live life to its fullest and enjoy every day.
Even when sadness embrace, as all of us know, our life still will span the globe.
Existence is eternal to our souls.
Prince was a sparkle that true essence shown.
__________________________________________________________________|
Written April 24, 2016!
All you Souper know me as Jack
But in reality, my real name is Charles
I will try to explain this seemingly strangel turn of events
I was the last of ten children in our family
The first nine offsprings were girls
And then came a BOY... li'l ole me!
Well the word quickly got around our small town
The Ellison girls have a baby brother, WOO HOO!
Word also got around that all nine sisters and my Mum
Agreed “Jack Norman Ellison” was to be my name
However, on the way to the church for my Christening
My Grandmother changed my Dad's mind at the last minute
And convinced him to christen me Charles Byard
After my Dad's brother who died a hero in the First World War
My sisters were livid with anger
And decided from then on
They'd call me Jack irregardless of what my birth certificate said!
And they did... so now you know the rest of the story
Strange or what???
© Jack Ellison 2014
Man, you look fat
Some manscaping a must
Tight tee-shirt of grue colour
Makes one want to puke
This body was not bodacious
Looked more like an emoticon on a chat site
Diet and sexercise is needed
To make a more delishful sight
So come on man shake yourself
Make your body a sight to behold
Irregardless of your face
Give me a smile of delight not a frown.
Manscaping, Grue, Bodacious, Sexercise, Delishful, Irregardless. These are the
Words I Used.
penned 24 August 2014
I AM A MAN
First week; you had me weak
Seeing noone else you all I thought about
It was really love at first blink
But baby now i want out
Now, second & fourth week is in
My blood is thickened with confusion
I’m left before you wondering
If is this a real love connection
Lately; all I hear is
“I’m a man with needs; satisfy me”
I am trying to find the guy I fell in love with
The one who saw me as his Miss
My mistake is; i thought that’s all there is
I fell short of the rest of the experience
That at my expense; I have to spread
My very own legs to your satisfaction
Sacrifice my mother’s teachings
So I can get on with my girlfriend duties
Irregardless of whether or not I’m ready
Just as long as you steady!
It is with no pleasure that i come to the event
But I do as you please for love’s sake
And let you vent & bend, twist & turn me
To turn back & find your absence
For i did not leave up to the occasion
I am sorry; I can’t forget my past
For when I was forced into sex
Nobody brought me rules & guidelines
I laid there cold & in pain
Not sure what kinda game it was that I was playing
I wanted to cry but I was told to hush we almost done
So I am sure we almost done
Come & leave.
Emoticon Yellows
If I were rich, which is a crime
I could do anything I wished
Claim my rights and entitlements as “affluenza”
But I’m an ordinary cyberpunk
A regular yellow kind of guy
An emoticon with an attitude
Manscaping, sliding through life with a close shave
Cantankerous and bodacious all the time
In chillax style, riding the daily yellow bus
Dragging my portmanteaus box inside
And my delishful gal with me there
Clad in fashionable plarn
Irregardless of everything else
We rise above the sights and flee
Above the ancient vomitocious towns
And meld into each other’s grue calm eyes
Canoodling all the while
Smog passes with the night
Snark comments distract us
An anacronym word or two slips out
But we don’t care
We’re off to spend the affluenza check
Just to prove we can
(PORTMANTEAUS words: “PORTMANTEAUS Box” all contest entry listed words
+ "canoodling" - hugs and kisses and "cantankerous- old and feisty )
8/19/14 Portmanteaus Poetry Contest
HOW TO ALIGN A FINE LINE
Who can resist the pull of such a competition
Where the rules are so clear,
But the topic is like sex in the 60s revolution:
Filled with pitfalls but (yes, it was) - freer
Similar to the Argentine gaucho named Bruno
Who said well there’s one thing I do know
- Slang is fine,
Intentional misspellings are divine,
But a llama is numero uno.
And whose “who’s” is in question? Not mine!
Hey, they’re writing “their” over there
When it oughta be “they’re”.. . . Ok, Fine!
The effect of all this is to affect my degree of care
(And to effect a change in all poets, I hope).
Since mine is not a KNOCK-OUT of a poem
And I am certainly no dope
Nor am I a gnome from Nome or even Chomsky Noam
I hesitate to use the non-existent
Cringer word “irregardless” regardless
Of the consequences extant,
Or in future years countless.
………………………………………
Written by a nameless, talentless poet
For Nancy Jones’s Contest “Fine Line”
Dear. mear president, I am a canadian citzen with a handful of concern, i listen to
music often being an obsessive compulsive individual (one that has gone
misdiagnosed for 13 years) and have found my first middle and last names to be
titles of songs, as with my birth day, month, and year, I have written letters to dr.
phil, Oprah, and Doctor Oz about my situation where i feel i have no human rights,
the right to my person, nor the right to do my civic duty without being penalised, i
word it in their letters that i have been tortured by malpractice, however mr
president, i have seen something on the internet that has upset me, the other day i
clicked a link on a site known as x- tube and saw what i thought was a boy ( a child)
being raped, not sure who to tell as canada does nothing to aid the resolution of
internet crimes, as i have been victom of many, phishing scams, and compromised
accounts, i left a link somewhere where i thought someone might notice it, ironicly,
no one did.
http://www.poetrypoem.com/forgetfulintentions
http://www.myspace.com/meaning_of_life69
http://www.youtube.com/imcallingjapan
im aware no one even knows what the military is doing anymore, 30 years of war,
you will find in one of my writings i have won the war, it is up to you to win the
battle, the day the world goes into the city streets to chant world peace this
summer, will make history, irregardless of what happens.
thanks for reading my letter, from a wartorn man whose grandfathers fought in
previous wars
What a Hill ov Lies eventually does is avalanche crumble
& depending upon the quality, the voracity,& the audacity
Starts to backwards step, then to seep
The only problem is is that it stains
& has a way of dripping into things it shouldn't
It has a way of becoming heavy with the years
It has a way of carving canyons
Forging waterways where waterways were none
It has a way finding the bottom
You see...what is important to know is that truth,
...Unlike lies
Has it's own special pool it draws from
It is buoyant & beautiful & does not know how to hide itself
It is the seed that grows irregardless of the gardener
Irregardless of it's depth and more important in the dark
It is there that it finds a life
A spirit so undaunted
...That even in the soulless stench of lies
Finds a way to become
It cannot do anything other
Thank God truth, like that small seed,
Will Triumph over the weight of lies
And You
Every time
Like a size-too-large shoe; it does not fit true
IRREGARDLESS of who? Good lord, that won't do!
Preachers will preach it and good teachers teach it
Politicians used it; lawyers abused it
Rhodes Scholars quoted it; speechwriters wrote it
Musicians note it and gossipers float it
It's rather absurd how our English is slurred
In case you haven't heard: There AIN'T NO SUCH WORD!!
What is this world?
I don’t know it at all.
How do I choose food?
Remember to lock my door?
I’m not made for these times.
Conversation engaged my mind.
Silence takes me down hard.
I want to smell water in the air,
see it expansive and blue.
Seems like it was all peace now.
Remembering.
No bitterness, no fighting.
I resist this new way deeply.
And I know I was on a roller coaster
every day back there.
Had to fight to get my point across
or to defend my heritage.
A life which revolved around pine trees
is at the very least - oxygenated.
This isn’t easy for me
taking buses when I can’t remember
where they stop or what time.
Often, I get off at the wrong place
and find myself in trouble.
For the dark nights in pouring rain
coming up the mountain in his car.
To have those chats, to eat dinner together
my juice watered down with ice water.
He was the one who closed up the house
to some degree when we’d leave
but it never needed much it was so huge.
The kitchen alone was as big
as my new place entirely.
How many drawers....bins....cabinets
there were to store things I didn’t
ever even use once.
So easy then. A dishwasher. Ice cubes.
The car to place my purse on the seat
next to me and my drink in the spot.
Couldn’t see it coming just like my marriage.
Impossible to imagine a life other than that.
But, in both cases, it happened
irregardless.
I’m frightened. What am I doing here?
Thus Spoke Brother Moji
(not Zarathustra)
With all due respect,
irrespective of
with regards to
I have no respect
for irregardless.
July 5, 2021
Boulder, Colorado
There was garbage in my life,
that God said would destroy me!
I tried to tell others about this,
but they wouldn’t believe me!
God clearly spoke to me about some
garbage I hung on to.
He told me to let go of it…
But I didn’t want to!
I was a follower of Jesus Christ… Or so I thought!
Irregardless of the garbage in my life
that I had brought!
Soon, this garbage began to bring
my spiritual life down!
As I was being “pulled in,”
by the garbage all around!
I could begin to see just what was happening to me!
I needed Jesus to come! And set me free!
He came! His cleansing power was soon applied.
He took my garbage, and helped me to be satisfied!
I need to be content, with what God has given!
If I want to enjoy a life that’s
cleansed and forgiven!
There’s much more to life, that I can clearly gain.
It starts with a life that is serving Jesus’ name!
Won’t you allow Jesus to take your garbage out?
And find out what true life is really all about!
By Jim Pemberton 11/25/13