Best Insults Poems
Glowing, half transparent
underneath the pot, burnt,
yes I'm scorched but not sweating,
because I'm furious, so hurt!
Horrid, nagging insults
though they break before my skin,
salt unto the open wound
fire on oil's brim.
My tongue is dull as a dagger,
my bones rot like pure gold,
only like the fire,
I'm not at all bold.
I'm as weak as a boulder,
I'm as kind as an angry beast;
generous as I rip and tear
bones and sinful meat!
Oh, weak am I? and sissy?
brainless? or no wit?
a syllable of another word,
my teeth will loose grit!
Thoughtless and unworthy?
boiling in a pit?
One more word I'll eat you up,
slash you into bits!
Glowering near translucent,
underneath the pot, burnt,
and the pot is a a-brimmin'
'cuz man, I am so hurt.
Worthless noogy insult,
'though they shatter upon my bones
spice upon a wet fresh cut
fire melting gold...
I'm nearsighted like an eagle,
I can only fight a boar,
one insult I'll show them
see if they'd ask for more.
Send Me No Insults When I Die
Send me no insults when I die
couldn't hurt me if you try
Send those insults while I live
so returning fire I can give
Never try to stab me in the back
my third eye is always on track
I once dearly loved a damn good fight
now I rather prefer to just be right
Send not fools to do your dirty work
I despise fools and simply hate jerks
Take your measures like a real man
with blows delivered in upfront stand
Send me no insults when I am dead
cry your woes, kiss my **** instead
My soul at rest , my spirit in the sky
I say piss on you and don't ask why!
Robert L. 05-27 2014
A lucky inspiration.
I just read an email from a bitter enemy.
He declared he would piss on my grave soon enough! A veiled threat
(possibly) .. I laugh at and now write this little tribute to
the guy's stupidity.
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego
and jump to your IQ
Your birth certificate is an apology letter
from the condom factory
Looks like your face caught on fire and someone
tried to put it out with a shovel
There's only one problem with your face, I can see it
What language are you speaking, cause it sounds
like ******** to me
Hey, you have something on your chin...
no, the third one down
How come "you're a peach" is a compliment
but "you're bananas" is an insult
Don't know what your problem is but I'll bet
it's hard to pronounce
We can always tell when you are lying, your lips move
I love what you've done with your hair...
how do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
We all sprang from apes but you didn't spring far enough
Normally love to shop but I'm not buying your ********
You have the perfect face for radio
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people
You are living proof manure can sprout legs and walk
If ******** could float...you'd be the admiral of the fleet
What's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
one has a mustache and smells of fish, the other is a walrus
Your gene pool could use a little chlorine
Had prepared for a battle of wits but I see you came unarmed
I don't know what makes you so stupid but it really works
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children, ask your mother
What would you call a woman who goes out with you... desperate
I'm multi-talented, can talk and piss you off at the same time
Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
You so ugly when you were born the doctor threw you out
the window and the window threw you back
You stare at frozen juice cans because they say "concentrate"
You're as sharp as a bowling ball
HORRID HARMONY
She’s a horrible lady who does horrible things
But man, the lady sings
She’ll bend a note while you lend an ear
And her falsetto is something you really must hear
She’s an insolent woman with wicked ways
She wants to be worshipped but never prays
Yet she makes every song seem a lullaby
Until her finale begins to make you cry
The refrain didn’t cause too much pain
But on her sheet music there’s an indelible stain
She’ll sing a love song and make you think it’s especially for you
But I know men who’ll attest to the fact that she sang it to more than a few
It’s not so much in her isolating eyes
It’s not so much that she’s so very wise
It’s not so much a future of her dalliances and flings
Because I’m telling you men there’s no escaping her once the horrid lady sings
© 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~
In advance I thank the three people who read this for having done so
Insults By Trump
Trump's insults seem to be unending
And on mind of a child are depending
Don't invite people and be a deterrent
Knowledge of issues is never current
His campaign should be suspending.
Jim Horn
Contumacious remarks abound
Words that sting and injure deeply
A reflection of their inner turmoil
Played out in another’s space
Their hatred knows no bound
The distance of the internet
Turns us into faceless combatants
A Case study on wounding for wounding sake
Image consciousness rules the day
The image required not found
With a cursory glance
The inner person
Of no importance
The gloss of looks and the clothes one wears
Sparkles and fools
The rejection stings
Its ferocity and frequency
An attempt to demoralise
The vituperation of unknowns
Has inflicted deep un-healing wounds
Forever kept fresh and open
No peace for your psyche
The occasional warmth
Stings hardest
The rarity of affection seems
A cruel inhuman joke
Red #1
Entry #7
2-26-12
The sensitivity of my cold feet
All I hear are the sounds of my deafening heartbeat
Can't fall asleep
Can't eat
Being pushed around like dead meat
The feeling of your heart being stomped on by soccer cleats
The reek of my weakness
My subconscious is like a paranormal leech
My emotions get the best of me
The easy life cheats
The hard life is being a step closer to becoming a deadbeat
There are tears streaming down my cheeks.
The taste of defeat.
Forced to retreat.
Just don't bother me.
Don't judge me.
Please leave me be.
For this is what it feels like to be bullied.
You're not as dumb as people say, you're dumber
Seen people like you before, but had to pay admission
You're so fat, you could sell shade
Do you need a license to be that ugly?
Stupidity is not a crime so you're free to go
You're so old, when you were a kid, rainbows were black and white
Every time I'm next to you, I get an intense desire to be alone
You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete
How did you get here, did someone leave your cage open?
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race
Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one
You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet
I'm jealous of people that don't know you
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school
she was fined for littering
I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you
Some babies are dropped on their heads but you must have
been thrown at a wall
I'm busy now, can I ignore you some other time?
Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get
my head that far up my ass
Utterances offering the wrong ideas
Like murder-planning spears:
To their recipient an enough sting
But to the source songs to freely sing
The seventy-two teeth of crocodile,
Together jammed and survival is for a while;
Participating voices ascending mountain tops
Like they are sure there should be no stops;
Their height a far cry from teaks;
Path the resonating bellows and laughable squeaks
A rivalry of cacophony
And festival of polyphony;
Rude demonstrations of rude interruptions
And recreation of volcanic eruptions.
A contradiction of the other voice is a goal,
The longing for it, down the soul;
The gentle questions for trickery,
The applauding hands from mockery.
Insults first fruits are slaps unendurable,
Their predictable lasts, blows unmanageable.
I had to discourage the love of Mary Lou
My pals advised me what to do
Just insult her the Texas way
She'll set you free and go away.
But Mary Lou heard on the grapevine of my plan,
so decided down the road she could kick the can
I told her that I'd rather cuddle a hornet than her
She said, "it's your call, what you prefer"
I was taken aback, tried something worse
Said she'd eat anything that don't eat her first
She acknowledged a diet would do her good
And thanked me, because I understood.
I said she was as full of wind as a bean eating horse
She said "Yes, I talk too much, I have to change course"
I couldn't believe this, the wedding was in a week
Mary Lou wouldn't release, I was up a creek
I thought Texas insults don't work
I said "Your Mom should have thrown you away and kept the stork"
She said "that's really funny, but it came from "Mae West"
Still, I love your way with a jest."
I said "Honestly, Mary, I just can't go through
I can't get hitched, it's not what I want to do
I want to drink with the guys, and play the field
If I marry you, my fate is sealed."
Mary smiled, said "OK, I'll go off with Tad"
I felt hurt and asked, "you don't feel bad?"
She said "You'll go far, and I hope you stay there"
I said, "That really hurts, don't you care?"
She said "you don't know what you are going to lose
But it's your right to be wrong, your right to choose
Far from me to ask you to stay:
The mental hospital tried too many drugs on you today."
My pals all laughed, said, "Son, you're beat
She played your game, admit defeat!"
Now I sit alone, just nursing my pride,
The field turned out empty, and she could've been my bride.
You Amused me with your insults
But you are no where near been like Donald Trump.
A rich man who is now president.
Well put together but he insult no one.
But only speak from what he see but not about people.
Nor insult thinking that he's better than any one.
So please stop using me and my son to feel good about yourself. For I said it before. It's a pathetic childish game.
That you should know better. But embarrassing yourself.
I may grow up different from you but, I can't predict the future. But from the way I see it yours is not very promessing as well.
Don't throw me insults
in the form of embers ...
I might as well deviate
and not be hit ...
But your poor hands,
they could be burned ...!
marred by insults
the heart heals with time
scar tissue remains
A long stare at one is plain insult:
I’ve never done that to an adult,
Even one in his dying Renault,
Badly harassing him with some fault,
Wanting to end up in their own vault
Or owner dispatch to his own vault…
But should one adult spare insults,
Who has been offering open assaults
And could on a youth use catapults
With all their devastating results?
Indeed, respect is reciprocal:
On this never stop being the vocal,
Your stand points incisively focal,
Whether in town or a place local…
This for the consumption of the child
Beginning to sprout wings a bit wild…
When Shakespeare's a mind for a cussing,
There's no indirection or fussing.
It's straight to the point,
A fool to annoint,
A wit-loaded bold blunderbussing.