Best Income Poems
The mickey mouse instructions were many,
Trying to figure tax to the penny.
From the very beginning,
My clueless head was spinning.
'Twas as readable as Kazakstani!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax!" Albert Einstein
Entry for John Freeman's "Famous Einstein Quotes" Contest
On this UBI's Day, May 1st, to observe the greatest socioeconomic concept ever conceived.
You can't have all you want
but not having all you need,
it's a pity, unworthy economic being,
don't expect a man plant
growing grains, fruits and juices,
rise to the heights
of your human nature's creator,
make them a gift,
and have as gift
life's gift, for piece of mind,
with our society's work.
Still hunger is a scare,
unconsciously makes you
rushing running hurrying pushing.
Why, ask your god and,
bring the answer down to earth.
Say it to the tall powers
to whom earth belongs to,
what's misery for,
while there is plenty.
Where is my piece of mind
and fulfillment.
Other species await in you,
without sorrow questions
so without negative fellings,
freer about its wellbeing.
Forces of petty power up there
must do what's needed,
powers abstract, unknown,
like the sky,
always as far as started going to it.
Who are they, that stop me,
can't really see them,
I'm changing them
and they remain the same.
A new human being may emerge,
to live life as was meant to be,
effortlessly, with society's work.only.
When Tax Season Comes
When tax season comes, I relax...
not worried cause I have my facts
along with a friend
that helps to the end...
my financial aide, Turbo Tax!
So simple, it says what to do...
just type numbers in, click review.
No big fees to pay
high-priced C P A...
sends it to the I R S too!
Sandra M. Haight
~3rd Place~
Contest: Tax and Finance Limericks - Old or New
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
Judged: 12/31/2018
She exposes her body to a lot of people she experiments so that she is able to put food on the table.Her shift starts at sunset when the town is quiet and a few people are around to see.
She walks around in the streets half naked and her body exposed to the cold, but that does not bother her.She stands there with her colleagues awaiting to be called by their customers.
When its her turn she prepares herself for the worst. She hopes and pray that she will come out alive. Her customers are men who are ruthless and that have wives.
Sometimes she walks away without being paid for her duties. She again has to go back and try again and again.She operates her business anywhere her customer sees fit.
She has to please her customers, her stomach depends on the little change she gets. When her shift is over she heads back to her tunnel that she calls home. She heads back to her little baby that she's wrapped with a piece of cloth.
She heads home with enough money to buy her baby food to eat. Her mind body and soul tired as she kisses her baby good night.
She watches her baby fall asleep, as she injects herself with medication that will give her the ability to forget about her life.
Prostitution her source of income.
Income tax season
Is no reason
For utter despair
Pulling your hair
Shedding a tear
Out of fear
You’ll be broke --
Like most folk!
written January 31, 2022
Spending My Income Tax Refund
By Elton Camp
For one like me, who to save lacks the thrift,
An annual income tax refund seems like a gift
In other years, there’s been no reason why
That something a bit special I couldn’t buy
An otherwise unaffordable gift for my wife
Or a vacation to relieve the monotony of life
This time the decision has been made for me
For it will go right into the gas pump, you see
The hoopla of the Holiday Season has now come and gone.
Cash in the bank to pay for that spree is nigh overdrawn!
Just when I thought I was free of serious financial strain,
A packet arrived from the IRS hintin' that its tax time again!
I'll bet the feller who wrote the instructions is still a-grinnin',
As we common folk try to figger it out with our heads a-spinnin'!
My learned wife is smarter than I but she couldn't help me any.
The consarned thing may as well have been written in Afghanistani!
Although the intricacies of the system I don't quite understand,
With my trusty abacus, records and sharpened pencil in hand,
I attack the puzzlin' task hopin' that I can prevail,
Preparin' it to their satisfaction thereby avoidin' jail!
Double checkin my figgers and searchin' for deductions,
I can find no legal way to come up with further reductions.
I stare in dismay at the 'Taxable Income' on line twenty-seven.
Alas, again this year there'll be no manna from heaven!
Even with astute pencil-whippin', withheld taxes come up short.
I may have to mortgage the house to send funds with my report!
Another tax year has ended and again they have bled me dry!
As Honest Abe once said, "It hurts to much to laugh and I'm too old to cry!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
The rise in prices
Price increase becomes
Price adjustment
But the rise is something different
Unlike the tide
It only rises
And never falls
It's seasonal
Just like the durian
Every year at least once
With the Financial Report
And Unlike the durian it seldom falls
If it doesn't rise
The piece of cake is smaller
Less tasty
If it falls
The cake is even smaller
And maybe changes flavour
Unlike the fall of durians
In the olden days
Which makes everybody happy
Especially the poor planters
And the gluttons
The rise in prices
Makes most of the people sad
Especially the under income
And everybody centres on the rise
Has forgotten the rise of wages
I hope one day the wages will rise too
And never fall
The Income Tax Audit
By Elton Camp
Perry boasted how the IRS he so loved to cheat
But found that he should’ve been more discreet
When a neighbor notified the Internal Revenue,
The agency decided that an audit they would do
The examiner soon found Perry lived like a prince
His lifestyle of income tax fraud soon did convince
“Man, you can’t have reported all of your income.
Where did this mansion and limousine come from?”
Perry also had bragged of his enormous casino win
But he hadn’t thought that he should turn a dime in
Also income showed on his Social Security account
But on his 1040 he hadn’t reported the same amount
Clothes given to the Salvation Army he took deduction
But the value he reported needed some drastic reduction
To the church Perry claimed that he gave twenty percent
But the pastor reported it wasn’t even a place that he went
E-File Your Tax—Heck Yes!
By Elton Camp
It’s out with the old and in with the new
Filing income tax online is the way to do
Making a return manually I’ve always hated
But doing it online I felt a little intimidated
Complicated situations still need to see a CPA
But for most of us, filing online is the best way
What once I considered to be an onerous chore
I don’t nearly as much mind doing anymore
Gather your records and just plow right in
The software will show you the way to win
What was complex and needlessly obscure
With e-filing, that I’m doing right I’m sure
My return done & submitted in a little while
So it was off to watch television with a smile
And one of the most surprising things to me
Most people can get the federal done free
And if you decide you want it to do the state
The small charge is one that you won’t hate
It’s been said the only constant in life is change
So to e-file your income tax it is time to arrange
Hand over fist
Tightly bound mist
Falling change washes
Covering new day UN-derailed
Timelines metabolize truth
Driven skull to shine and buffer
Smoothie abuse, set up new booths!
A concoction of American bliss
Rage to the end of the world
See the bills unfurl
Leverage this beast
Make it complete
Gross Income
80% of the entire global wealth
Is owned by 15% of the global population
Never before in the annals of human history
Has so much been owed
To so many
By so few
The economy is collapsing
All around us
People that we see
On the streets and suffering
The system setting ready for imploding
How did this come to be
That the poor and the ordinary
Are being pushed further into poverty
Kids are going hungry
Now it’s not just a problem for the third world
We’re all beginning to see
What it’s like to live with prosperities tourniquet
But there’s fat man in a big fat car
Sucking on a big fat cigar
And he doesn’t give a damn who you are
And there’s a house on a big fat hill
Where he sits sucking on a big fat world
A multi million construction of luxury
Yes his toes are always warm
Sits there in couldn’t care-less complacency
Big fat belly always full
Swimming pool is always cool
No he’s not part of what’s going on
Sits there with a big fat grin
Plugged into the profiteering
Bloodsucker of capitalism
And there’s a mother with a hungry baby
Her husband lost his job just this Monday
He’s out there on the porch staring at the ground
Because there is no work to be found
He was a cut back to save the gross income
And the profitable wages of a corporation
So the managing director
Could still take his two-month holiday in the sun
No it’s not his stomach that is empty
Why should he care he is wealthy
Big fat man in other peoples clothes
And walking around in other peoples shoes
Not his concern that the people on the streets
Haven’t got enough to eat
He just wants to make sure the chrome stays polished
On his fleet of cars
We all saw it coming
While we were all trying to live the dream
In this capital culture of ego need
Scrambling over each other
To catch the drips
From the big fat mans under exerted sweat
These days we all have to worry
Wonder how this crisis came to be
Yup; it’s all about the money and the slavery
And the avarice and the greed
Of the bloodsucking industry
Never before in the annals of human history
Has so much been owed
To so many
By so few
Like a statue I want to be,
never have needs,
or stems I want to grow,
heavy with grains and fruits,
a self sustained being,
let us needy hungry not be.
Since the start of time
your destiny was shaped
by your cell's needs,
a petty survival,
worshiping for this,
eating your piece of mind away.
How different it would have been,
if they always came to you
like nature's gift: mother's feed.
If could only mind's needs shaped us,
they are different needs,
of a different destiny,
Never dared look your creator
in the eyes for changing course.
Along with the gods
do for yourself something too.
Metal bodies arms and fingers,
need's daughters, the inventions,
point on me economic being:
have what you need,
not having is not allowed.
Rise to your creator's greatness
make them a gift, a life's gift.
If you can't have all,
it's a pity human race
not to have what you need
nowadays, effortlessly,
with society's work only,
for the piece of your mind
and fulfillment, for a new calmer
human being to emerge.
The search for food made us
warriors and political,
a mind by itself is not such,
has different needs.
Nerve cells are driving us
and learned logic can't stop them.
Stop them without a lift of a finger.
"A Basic Income is an income
unconditionally granted to all o
n an individual basis,
without means test
or work requirement"
??
Over there in the rural countryside where I'm at currently....
Gravel road, water and electrical woes are challenges daily....
Hardly any economic activities that bring in cash money..
Barring the staff in the usual government machinery...
And those in some private enterprises and companies...
The village folks are really poor and severely cash strapped...
Saved those fortunate ones in the government or private enterprises...
So reporting average income has risen to rm6k plus...
Is downright nonsense and a gigantic lie statistically .....
Salaried workers are in abundance only in urban areas...
Using their incomes severely skew the worthiness of these figures.....
It paints a vastly different picture of the economic situations on the ground...
In simple English, only pompous supercilous coated bosses and politicians...
Can believe this propaganda that average monthly income has moved up to rm6k plus...
@#$//$$##!!!!
Note.... Reported in the news today, the average monthly income in Malaysia has
risen from RM5000 (year 2012) to RM6141(Year 2014)..
Income Tax Filing Time Again
By Elton Camp
It’s again time, Uncle Sam to pay
By April fifteenth is the filing day
End of January I meant to do it
I actually thought I’d hop to it
But it’s an onerous task I hate
So I continued to procrastinate
I’ll get on it next week, for sure
For tax anxiety, that’s the cure
Sam doesn’t send forms anymore
Having to print them I truly abhor
Then obtuse instructions to obey
Surely there’s a simple way to say
But it’s go from this line to that
Written by some government rat
Enter the amount from line sixteen
And be sure to guess what we mean
It was then that TurboTax I found
And it’s the best invention around
It led me through by the hand
With words I could understand
With this program so spiffy,
I finished filing in just a jiffy
With a big refund coming my way
Some of my debts I now can pay
Other programs likely do as well
But, of them, I have naught to tell