Best If The Shoe Fits Poems
At the ball...
At this point in the tale, a happy ending should be pending,
But readers now are more demanding,
And so, I'll tweak a bit the plot.
Cinderella made an entrance like aurora borealis
That sent a shockwave through the palace,
"Who is this chick? Man, she is hot!"
When the prince caught her attention, his anxieties enflamed him,
But when she smiled, he overcame them,
And asked her if she'd care to dance.
The king and queen were sore relieved
Because they'd had some apprehension,
To girls he'd never paid attention,
They thought him something of a "nance".
But by the time the waltz was over he was thoroughly enraptured,
This girl his royal heart had captured,
And her to wed he was inclined.
Mom and Dad looked on with pride,
And it was then and there decided
To get the two of them united
Before the prince could change his mind.
But he was well and truly hooked, and as to true love she surrendered,
Cindy suddenly remembered
She must be out of there by twelve.
If she hung around too long
Until the tower bell stopped tolling,
The whole darn thing would start unrolling,
The midnight knell would end the spell.
So Cinderella fled the ball, but just before the spell was broken,
She dropped a slipper as a token,
And hoped the prince would come around.
But when the clean-up crew was through,
Along with hairpins and nail clippers,
At least a dozen single slippers
Had been turned in to Lost and Found.
When the prince saw all those shoes, he didn't ponder which or whether,
Just one was crystal, the rest leather,
And he knew what he had to do.
He had his mother pack a lunch,
And Benzedrine he grabbed a fistful,
Then off he shot just like a pistol
In hot pursuit of that glass clue.
To be continued...
The happily ever after...
He searched the kingdom for a fortnight 'til all saddle sore and weary,
With his eyes bloodshot and bleary,
The prince arrived at the last door.
He found two sisters, far too ugly, and an even uglier mother,
And asked himself why even bother,
This whole darn quest's become a bore.
Then from the kitchen came the vision he had searched so far and wide for.
He asked stepmother what she'd lied for
To say the three of them were all.
A flash, a crash, there was the gown, and then he saw her bare right flipper,
And on the left, a crystal slipper…
The girl he'd danced with at the ball.
The stepmother feigned regret that they had sadly so misjudged her,
T'was for her good that they'd begrudged her,
But to a prince one shouldn't lie.
On her wedding day the trio met the fate they should have dreaded,
They were arrested and beheaded,
And Cindy never blinked an eye.
The wedding feast and celebration were the grandest in the nation,
The king and queen felt jubilation,
Their son was "normal", after all.
They could retire and the crown would be passed down to their descendants,
Their kid, grandkids, and co-dependents,
They were so glad they'd had that ball.
But on their wedding night the prince confirmed his sexual confusion,
And forced them both to the conclusion,
Theirs was no fairy tale romance.
But still they made the marriage work, although they had no little nippers,
Sometimes he wore her gown and slippers,
And Cinderella wore the pants.
So, in conclusion, Cinderella got her semi-happy ending,
In spite of all the rules I'm bending
To tell her tale and make it new.
It wasn't meant to be so grand,
But what my muse commands, I do,
And now in bidding fond adieu,
My hat is off to those of you
Who stuck it out and read it through.
The End
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time, in France, a storyteller fella
Wrote of a girl named Cinderella,
Meant as a fairy tale romance.
Her daddy died when she was young, and she was forced to share his riches
With three monumental b****es,
A most unhappy circumstance.
For years her stepmom and stepsibs made her perform a menial's duty,
And as she blossomed into beauty,
They grew more hateful, mean, and cruel.
Each night they dined on fine cuisine and wore lace dresses with silk sashes,
While she wore rags begrimed with ashes,
And got just crusts of bread and gruel.
Then one day a herald from the king demanded entry
To the homes of landed gentry,
They were invited one and all.
It was the prince's eighteenth birthday, and the king and queen were harried
Because their son was not yet married.
Ergo, the reason for the ball.
The stepsisters primped and preened and wild excitement they exuded,
When Cindy asked to be included, they gaped at her as if appalled.
Stepmother sneered, "Look here, I'll show you!"
With self-righteous indignation,
"Your name's not on the invitation.
Just we elite are so installed."
So Cinderella went downstairs to seek some solace in the kitchen,
But 'stead of sittin' there and b****in', she started dancing with a broom.
She whirled and twirled around the floor,
Or else she'd stand there, gently swaying,
As if an orchestra was playing
Pretending they were bride and groom.
And then a flash, a crash of thunder, and to Cindy's stunned amazement,
There gliding through the kitchen casement,
A pudgy lady dressed in blue.
She said, "Hello, my dear, no fear, I'm here to grant your secret wishes,
I'll wave my wand and clear the dishes,
And make a princess out of you!"
She waved and tapped and flicked and zapped,
And what she seemed to make the air do
Was give her make-up, nails, and hair-do,
And then to make the look complete,
Out of those rags so soiled and worn and far too torn to drown a cat in,
A gown of gossamer and satin, and crystal slippers on her feet.
Without this timely intervention, Cindy's tale might have been tragic.
Could she have managed without magic,
And her dilemma be resolved?
But everybody knows what happened with a gourd and six white mice,
And how a smudgy scullery maid was made to clean up really nice,
When a fairy got involved.
To be continued...
my parents used to tell me
if the shoe fits, you can see
now being only three,
what did that mean?
i thought for several years
I cried many tears
I've failed, I've lost,
I've paid the cost
now i see the benefits
because I've found a shoe that fits
There was a girl called Lovely Lou,
She never seemed to know what to do.
Many thought she was a fool,
‘Til, she said the jokes on you;
she had filled their boots with crazy glue!
Be cautious walking along this path,
I can see that your shoes do not fit.
You won't get anywhere like that,
Not even a little bit.
Directions couldn't show you how
nor are there signs to help you here.
Instead you'll walk along this road,
until it finally leads you there.
Once you know you've made it home,
please live the best you can.
Because before you know, you can be
walking that lonely road again.
You read or hear some words and think
“That isn’t very flattering;”
But then your heart is on the brink
Of pittering and pattering.
For possibly, those sentiments
Contain a little clue
That give you just the slightest sense
They might apply to you.
Perhaps you’re being paranoid
Or worried without cause;
It’s easier to just avoid
Those words with fangs and claws.
But sometimes you just have to shrug
And flash a grin and bear it,
‘Cause even if it’s kinda snug,
If that shoe fits – then wear it!
If The Shoe Fits!!
I’m disillusioned and perplexed,
My mind blown by the disrespect,
Shown to others for their creative works,
Anonymous vibes, by novice jerks!
Who are you to judge and critique,
Another’s works or their technique!
Are you jealous and insecure?
Or just mean spirited and immature?
This world is big enough for two,
And doesn’t revolve around just you!
Opportunity is afforded to everyone,
Chances go round, your turn will come!
Today is about acceptance and variety,
Open your eyes and your mind, it’s a new society!
Written By: Sarita A. Milliner © 4/13/16
love is not Archie Bunker ~let his hatred stay in Hitler's bunker
when circumstances appear cruel in life you need not be cruel with them
a dodged serve, the ball is now long gone~a pond rife with many lost balls
a lie will soar throughout the land before truth wakes and gets out of bed
controlling ones diverticuli ~should control shouting from poop shoot
attention seekers turn your gaze outward to life’s welcoming bounty
no physical traits shared with your harem~save face so not to scare ’em
a friend can't be betrayed if they were never a friend~non-existance
liars can't believe in their own existence~how can they believe mine?
given every clue~if you don’t know me by now it's yours to undue
pure love’s nature cannot take pleasure in other’s sorrows pain and sin
poets with grand gushing font~sage with a pen or idiot savant?
Prince Charming arrived at the shoe store
looking for his Cinderella and future bride,
it was announced ahead of time on the internet,
thousands of women lined up for the event.,
hoping their tootsies would fit the glass slipper,
hours of grunts and groans and no luck,
Barbie Doll appeared in her gown and it was over.
I must act now upon impulse,
With wicked toil, I live with no rest
Oh, my own self I doth repulse,
As my own self I doth protest!
I feel hung in trapped suspension,
Spun in webs of silk and stress
And all my intentions are wrapped in tension-
Please, would one kind hand of me caress?
Like trying on your mother’s shoe;
they do not fit, but still they do
and yet, your father’s, never tried
for what secrets do both shoes hide?