Best Hanky Poems

I once knew a crazy old man Uncle Hanky P. Hunk. 
He had the dirtiest house, the drabbest bunk.
I think that he was often kind of drunk.
His bedding was full of icky sticky gunk.

Once in wandered a tiny black and white skunk.
He fell on the...

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I feel just like that old grey squirrel, 
whose belly is empty as can be.
He keeps on searching for those acorns, 
but he has climbed up a maple tree.

He worked hard and long the whole darn year, 
burying his food out on the lawn. 
But...

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There was a dirty old man named Hanky

   Who suggested they play Hanky-Panky

      Please meet me at my chateau

         Your hubby will never know

      ...

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Essential for a happy life, is love, money, and hanky panky
Nothing even comes close, hmmm perhaps a l'il boozing quite frankly
I may seem obsessed
As you've probably guessed
As well as some cute young fillies dressed quite scantily


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Dear Lord, I feel roxy!
I am on the move!
No need for a proxy,
Let me enjoy the groove.

Hey you! Looking swanky! 
It turns out you could do
Good deal hanky-panky.
Come closer - I won't sue....

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Lets hanky panky, kooshy koo, 
Rising stiff, stripe it down, draw 
the line, endorse it in delight, I 
know you will, pour on the 
wine, and six-shoot it slowly,in
tasted, dripped the tongue, 
Locking licked lips,coated,As the 
cougar counter clocks, it wisely 
turning up the heat,...

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a rustling of leaves

faerie magic underfoot

hanky elf swanky...

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Ah-choo!
Bless you!

Hanky?
Thank ye,

Got cold?
Blow nose...

Feel hot,
To trot!

Drug store,
Buy more!

Return,
Discern,

Took swill,
Nyquill,

Hanky
Panky?

Health crap,
Strength sap!

Hear snore,
Night bore,

Long sleep,
No reap,

No luck,
Gave up,

Frankly,
cranky,

Cold dour…
Shower.



1-28-17...

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I was pretty cranky when my spanky new bike was janky.
The frame was too short for my body, too tall and lanky.
The tires too fat, too hard to push up boggy maintain trails.
The deal I got clearly a lemon janky, all wrapped in hanky-panky.

The bike...

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Hanky Panky

Honey 
My foot is taping
It’s been a while
I figure it’s gotta be almost
An hour

Baby
You know you 
Drive me crazy
How you do it
Constantly
You tease my eyes
It’s no surprise
Your naughty smiles
Make me so ravenously hungry

Aw come on baby 
My heart is jitterbugging
It’s been a while
At least...

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Hanky-Panky at the North Pole

By Elton Camp

Santa came in early from the workshop
At the door he came angrily to a stop

The shocking sight that gave him pause
Frosty the Snowman cuddling Mrs. Claus

“You’re supposed to be a jolly, happy soul.
In your stocking expect find lumps of...

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JANKY HANKY PANKY


If I had an experience JANKY
would I need a bib or a hanky
would I have to say “Oh, Thank ye”
to a lady I paid just to spank me

or would I be regaled
with mutton and ales
as crusty old goats
told seagoing tales

perhaps I would weep
in...

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Essential for a happy life is love and hanky panky
Nothing else comes close, well maybe boozing quite frankly
I may seem obsessed
As you might have guessed
Love those cute fillies dressed oh so scantily...

Continue reading...

A sweet young bank teller named Doris
Had a crush on her co-worker, Boris.
But one day while at work
The young clerk went berserk
When she caught Boris banging the manager, Morris.

Doris' secret admirer, Dan Danson,
Was swarthy, tall, and roguishly handsome.
But the next day while at work,
This clerk,...

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Essential for a happy life is love and hanky panky
Nothing else comes close, well maybe boozing quite frankly
I may seem obsessed
As you've probably guessed
Love those cute fillies dressed oh so quite scantily...

Continue reading...