Best Guaranteed Poems
Guaranteed to Blow Your Mind
Farrokh Bulsara a.k.a. Freddie Mercury
British singer, songwriter known universally
Confirmed he had AIDS and then died the next day
His music through Queen still rocks us all the way
Came a man from Zanzibar named Farrokh
Whose tastes were both flamboyant and baroque
For fame he was ready
Changed his name to Freddie
After his death millions still love this bloke
A Heathrow baggage handler prior to fame
Wrote a song about his favorite cat, Delilah by name
In his personal life he was very shy, gentle and kind
His life and times are “guaranteed to blow your mind”
Stuck. Glued. Skewed.
devoted to devotion
dedicated to dancing
on a string
threw away the safety net
to take the chance on
just
once
more
give me a reason
to be here
Vast sums of money
enormous chunks of time
All spent on losing weight ~
usually ruined by dinnertime
It's really quite easy
now I know that sounds cheezy
But here's the one thing that works, brother
Sell your car today, and don't buy another
You'll walk everywhere
have little time to spare
for banquets and luncheons
or to lie around potato chip munchin'
And even if this radical step doesn't work
you have my personal guarantee
I'll sell your car back to you for what you took from me
~ sure enjoyed driving it for free
He dribbled and tossed with a popeyed stare
As he caressed and slapped it fully aware
That he played alone
With the wife not at home
The satisfying game of solitaire
“The customer is always right”
Is what they used to say
Way back when problems got resolved
Much better than today.
Yet there are certain companies
That still believe it’s true
And they will work until
You’re satisfied with what they do.
To prove the point, I had today
An online service “chat”
And to that representative,
I’d like to tip my hat.
She tried a lot of different things
So I would be content.
Our little “chat” was worth the time
And money that was spent.
Though satisfaction lately’s
Oft in very short supply,
I’d recommend the service reps
Who work for Shutterfly.
Most salient benefit
anorexia nervosa wrought
excerpt, qua gut tease
burg address er...
four decades and seven years ago
plus countless hours, days, weeks...
elapsed with nary morsel
passing between two lips
starving lovely bones
dedicated grueling proposition
suicide knows no equal,
where puny pubescent (me)
engaged with self
consuming civil war
testing whether that
psychologically afflicted lad
willingly conceived during
heated passionate lovemaking
'tween young married couple
copulated, created and begat
one scrawny son
flailing his spindly limbs
arm n ham heard skinny legs
still generates risible outbursts
analogous to firearms bursting
nearly met his demise
wit dem dim eyes of his,
though nursed courtesy mother
licensed practical medical practitioner
livingsocial severely undermined,
even presenting disunion
at this moment
peudo soldier of misfortune,
though quasi silver lining
stitched into corporeal being
nsync with coaxing
increased devotion to curry
lame literary accomplishments
until gratefully dead.
No meal taken until task
witnesses completed writing assignment
usually poetically kindled
flummery accomplished
hungry artist hyper aware
literary creativity bubbles forth
accentuated, buttressed pronounced
attempt crafting epistle,
endeavor to write heightened,
when sustenance withheld
body electric induces nattering nabob,
(yours truly) thwarts appetite
digestion process consumes energy
buzzfeeding grumbling beast
within mine belly
predictably, immediately, automatically
satiatiation consummated
to appease nagging wife
induces without fail mine glorious
eyes blink shut tight.
Blessings
God-guarantees
multiply* along faith
toward love-filled bounty sharing
midst grace.
Genesis 28:3 And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee....
April 5, 2019
Edited on December 26, 2022
Wake up like you never will again.
Make some memories like you'll never forget when.
Say what you must like its never been said.
Get what you can like it's all you'll ever need.
Remember, life is never guaranteed.
Seperate distances from falls
Hangups and calls
Dilusional deceitful did wrongs
Covered up lies stories short prolongs
Drained energies like stings from bees
Honey sipped dried out coffee
Steamed stiff tea blown back aught to be
Chased with hot toties rude bodies wearing wrong clothes to mock thee
Could it be a stranger of hate all this time
Sent demised messages in a bottle to waste time
To committ a crime because of their own insecurities
Too afraid to step out vision blurred
Lines masking the real perception who to be
Standing on mountains sun shinning down to see
Uncovering madness mistaken for comfortability
Opened eyes payed for many destinies to see
Vision changed the name on the tunnel
Narrow it maybe a new session concerned rebuttal
Stuff that made no since at all
But since had since enough to Answer the correct call
You Ain't got pity
Just imagine if you were a screwdriver
manufactured at craftsman tool factory
and you spent your whole life in a tool box tray
never to be used jb49
Breezy… not humid...
Nary a cloud in the sky...
~ It'll pour later...
I’ve baked a sweet treat for Joe
In celebration
of his B-day -- Twenty-One?
Butter-rum pear cake
Topped with whipped cream and
Cinnamon
Oh!
Happy Belated Birthday to our dear brother and friend Joseph Spence the King of the
Epulaeryu,:-) My apologies for not having this one posted in time… I know it's 16 days
late but this cake is not stale and worth the wait… lol ~ God’s Love and here’s to
wishing you many
more...
Whatever We Need God Has Guaranteed
whatever we need
by God will be guaranteed
so we should stampede
Jim Horn
Getting close to 8,000 poems.
Come on champ, do it for the story,
for metaphor and allegory.
Get away from me. Are you cracked?
In all your stories, I get whacked.
Give me some space with that cattle prod,
you frustrated Marquis De Sade.
Oops-a-daisy, there goes your head.
Alas, poor thing, you’re tragically dead.
The legend read...Futures advice.. Bonds and stocks traded; Hourly..' Experts in many ( in-securitys?) . decades indeed, centuries
Of experience..' References available from God.' We come to you...Many options to choose from.' Digitally literate.'
Don't think any further.' Get started today.' We'll
Take your cares away.' All souls welcome.' Just remember
Our word is your bond.'
(We are equal oppertunity recognised and fully compliant with world climate initiatives) as recognised by the un, wef, and various n g o bodies.'