Best Grunted Poems

Out of the burrows and hedges and dreys
Heads began bobbing and eyes were agaze.
Rumours were twittered and grunted and squealed:
‘The combine is coming to harvest the field!’
The moles and the voles and the rabbits and hares
All hurried and scurried and scattered in pairs.
The hedgehogs and...

Continue reading...

It’s always a good practice when living on a farm,
To have a family of cats living in the barn
They always keep the rats and mice at bay and furnish humor too –
Wherever you find kittens there’s usually a laugh or two.

Now, I remember one time,...

Continue reading...

In a playground of mud

One time I made friends with a pig
He had the most wonderful gig
In a playground of mud
My new friend went thud
I’ll tell you, that sucker was big

Then one day it seemed he was shaken
I realized that he was mistaken
I said, have...

Continue reading...

It started with the beeping of my clock.
Sometimes I want to bash that irksome thing.
My dog barked for his food and then a walk.
While walking him, my cell phone went brring brrring.
I passed some school girls chattering away
like chirping birds. Back to my house I...

Continue reading...

A flamenco dancer in Spain
encountered a nun in the rain.
He shouted,' Olé.'
Her fingers astray, 
she grunted, 'I'm coming again.'

Just some silliness, written today for Andrea's limerick contest...

Continue reading...

I’ll take you back, to the old dark times,
To try and paint you a picture. 
A tale of a man, just sixteen years old,
Who had a bit too much liquor.

1706, is the year we shall set, 
As the young man woke himself up.
He found himself...

Continue reading...

Oh Cupid! You still looking?  It’s me...
Where’s my dream man? You know...muscled he.
And some brains would be nice,
otherwise, no lice,
fumigating has caused allergy.

That stupid pig was NOT company.
He just grunted and rooted, you see.
Take that thing you call bow
and bring my man in tow.
Oh...

Continue reading...

Burning down all around EVERY LIVING SOUL.
UP IN SMOKE, You choked? That MIRROR YOU KNOW 
YOU BROKE? The flames you stoked. UP IN SMOKE.
Not a living soul has an ABODE to call their own. No
HUT NOR HOME.  Be stronger than strong sang the playing
Song....

Continue reading...

"It's finally arrived," he thought relaxed by his campfire.
He waited all his life for this day. The day he would retire,
and after saying his good byes to all that he loved
he ventured deep into the wilderness, where clouds hug mountain tops above.
It's been days now...

Continue reading...

Oh, what am I going to do, today?
I've got so much time on my hands that I
Will simply go mad if I don't find a way
To fill it all up with some stuff to get by.

I try to stay busy with this and with that
And...

Continue reading...

I got up it was way past noon
Thought I’d go for a walk.
Then, it started to rain
I’m talking heavy rain
The rain that soaks you rain.

I saw my neighbour Mrs Pratt
She was out walking her little dog.
You’ve guessed, they were wet too
I’m talking really wet.
They were...

Continue reading...

The winter surmised the fate of its captured. 
Gripping tight with icy fingers dipped in death. 
Existent in her demise was the delirium that filled her mind. 
As she fell into the deprivation of her life, she forgot who she was and how she got...

Continue reading...

“Aye, me maties, ‘tis a stormy sea dis day
Shiver me timbers, let’s make way for da bay”

But as Peg Leg Pete slowly turned ’is ship ‘round
A great beauty on da rocks was t' be found

“We’ll save ye, lassie,” 'e cried t' da girl
Once rescued, 'e...

Continue reading...

January 31, 2017

A long, long time ago in the lands of the giant tulip trees
Lived a wondrous animal, called the Alley Phont Sheeze.
Standing as tall as the great Coconut Shrine,
He pounded thru the jungle like the Notshurus Rine.

He was big and ungainly standing on all...

Continue reading...

Cold was the blustery wind driven snow
Heaped at my feet as I shook in the squall
Relentless ice dancers twirled in show,
I grunted and tugged on my thread-bare shawl. 
“So this is Christmas!” I cursed through my teeth,
“Trim out a pine tree in tinsel and light;
Make...

Continue reading...