Best Grunted Poems

Out of the burrows and hedges and dreys
Heads came a bobbing in frantic relays.
Rumours were twittered and grunted and squealed:
‘The Harvester’s coming to furrow the...

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It’s always a good practice when living on a farm,
To have a family of cats living in the barn
They always keep the rats and mice...

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In a playground of mud

One time I made friends with a pig
He had the most wonderful gig
In a playground of mud
My new friend went thud
I’ll...

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A flamenco dancer in Spain
encountered a nun in the rain.
He shouted,' Olé.'
Her fingers astray, 
she grunted, 'I'm coming again.'

Just some silliness, written today for Andrea's...

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I’ll take you back, to the old dark times,
To try and paint you a picture. 
A tale of a man, just sixteen years old,
Who had...

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Oh Cupid! You still looking?  It’s me...
Where’s my dream man? You know...muscled he.
And some brains would be nice,
otherwise, no lice,
fumigating has caused allergy.

That stupid...

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Burning down all around EVERY LIVING SOUL.
UP IN SMOKE, You choked? That MIRROR YOU KNOW 
YOU BROKE? The flames you stoked. UP IN SMOKE.
Not a...

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"It's finally arrived," he thought relaxed by his campfire.
He waited all his life for this day. The day he would retire,
and after saying his good...

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Oh, what am I going to do, today?
I've got so much time on my hands that I
Will simply go mad if I don't find a...

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The winter surmised the fate of its captured. 
Gripping tight with icy fingers dipped in death. 
Existent in her demise was the delirium that filled...

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I got up it was way past noon
Thought I’d go for a walk.
Then, it started to rain
I’m talking heavy rain
The rain that soaks you rain.

I...

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“Aye, me maties, ‘tis a stormy sea dis day
Shiver me timbers, let’s make way for da bay”

But as Peg Leg Pete slowly turned ’is ship...

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January 31, 2017

A long, long time ago in the lands of the giant tulip trees
Lived a wondrous animal, called the Alley Phont Sheeze.
Standing as tall...

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Cold was the blustery wind driven snow
Heaped at my feet as I shook in the squall
Relentless ice dancers twirled in show,
I grunted and tugged on...

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Trouble was caused by love of sausage,
Summer sausage by strict definition,
Which is any sausage loved by masses
That can be kept without refrigeration.
Until a day when...

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