Best Grinch Poems

'Twas the night before Christmas and their pages were bare
  Not one word could they write, not one verse to declare
  The Grinch had snuck in, and in one fell swoop
  Had stolen the muses from poets on the "Soup"!

 It was...

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I am the Grinch

I am I am, you know that I am
The Grinch of Grinch's and so
Don’t call me Sam
For Sam I not am
I am the grouch of this festive season
I take what yours; I need not but one single reason
I will steal all the...

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'Twas the night before Christmas and it was heavily snowing
The windows in the house rattled with the wind that was blowing
Santa looked out through the window and it filled him with dread
He was in two minds whether or not to go back to his bed.

...

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The cruelest of all villains lives on Mount Crumpit
for when it comes to Christmas, he says, "Dump it!"
He keeps trying to "Pooh pooh" that sacred holiday,
but so far everyone's efforts have kept him at bay.

Oh, he's a real mean one, that monster, Mr. Grinch
A devilish...

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Thankfully Socialist Santa wasn’t elected, 
because we now have a lovely wall being erected.

Given will be no free handout for the illegal masses,
and received will be no gifts of crime, drugs, and grasses.

Lights from above will twinkle from helicopters,
as tear gas will float to choke...

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Yikes, all I feel is attitude with zero Christmas mood.
Blessed am I for Jesus’ birth and sacrificial rood,
but Santa and his deer had best just skip our roof
or I might very well rage out on every furry hoof.

All my Christmas feel of unique is long...

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he wakes up
in the early morn
he is grouchy
mean as a lout
he barks
at times
I wonder
does he have green ears and a big snout?

Horns sticking out of his devilish head
I bet he steals gifts to hide under his bed


I had him arrested
the police, they had him thoroughly...

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Today, I'll do my best to teach you
the recipe to keep Christmas true.
You'll need to start with a loving heart,
or else your plans will all fall apart.

Decorating a tree sets the mood,
so smile and indulge in Christmas food.
Eggnog and ribbon candy are fine,
but do uncork...

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Which Grinch Stole Christmas

You may gain inches
Feel big waist when it pinches
Which Grinch stole Christmas.

Jim Horn...

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(Any resemblance between said title,
as told tummy by ya finch,
and commander in chief,...
not accidental, nor a cinch
buttock hum posed on behalf

of these bottom ming out
fifty states, plus Puerto Rico inch
ching, donning, and clamoring
desperately for fluffin snuff pinch)
hitter to aright "FAKE"

government even a cameo by David...

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The feast was all done,
For Grinch and the Who’s,
 And after the meal,
Came terrible news.

For Max and the Grinch,
And Who’s gathered round,
No one spoke a word,
Or a single Who Sound.

The mayor spoke up,
About our grinch crook,
Of all that he broke,
And all that he took.

“You still...

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Another Halloween approaches
Kids all  up in my face, the  roaches!
They're running up to my house
Candy is what it's all about about

Maybe I should keep them guessing
No candy till we say a blessing
For all those rotted teeth forthcoming
Sugar messing up their plumbing

Grabbing handfuls from...

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On the Who Net a rumor was making its way
the mean old green Grinch planned to steal Christmas Day!

Cindy Lou Who(who was not more than two)
and all the Who kids knew just what they'd do.

Thus on Christmas Eve they all went to bed
like angels—parents didn't...

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Know
Love
Lord...

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Beware the ol' Grinch, for it’s a cinch
Into your Christmas, he’ll throw a wrench
He loves to belittle
With poo-poo and piddle
Wherever he goes he leaves a stench.

written December 16, 2021...

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