Best Gomer Poems
The greatest love story ever told,
Of a man who loved a prostitute.
Married her in her infidelity,
But later she left his love destitute.
Hosea loved Gomer through all her sin
And lack of faithfulness.
She did not deserve the love,
He gave without reservedness.
She gave him three children
But they were not his own.
She was extremely unfaithful;
Her wayward seeds were sown.
Yet he still loved her
And his heart did ache.
She despised his goodness;
His love she did forsake.
Finally Gomer left Hosea;
Went back to her old profession.
Found herself so destitute,
She became part of a human auction.
For 15 shekels of silver and some barley,
Hosea purchased his wife.
Took her back home again;
Lovingly gave her a new life.
Hosea was a type of Christ;
His love for Gomer never faltered.
Although we sin against Him;
His love for us isn’t altered.
We don’t deserve His forgiveness;
A chance to start anew.
But He gives it to us anyway,
His mercy each day to renew.
© Copyright 2008-2010 Maureen LeFanue
Gold Digger
now I'm not saying she's a gold digger
but her hands are in my pants pants pants
and I'm thinking as far as I can figure
she's not asking me to dance dance dance
cause the only tune I can hear playing
is the one that's in my head head head
and she's not skinny but she keeps saying
honey I need some bread bread bread
only last week she was begging me
she's needing cash for her sister sister sister
in my pocket once again you see
surprised her hand isn't one blister blister blister
I tell her go away you fool
you're not coning me this time time time
then she cries saying I'm not cool
the way you treat me is a crime crime crime
that's a lie and you know it honey
I give you everything you need need need
but all you seem to want is my money
I'm not a turnip and I bleed bleed bleed
so I'm not saying she's a gold digger
but her hands are always in my pants pants pants
and I'm thinking as far as I can figure
she's still not asking me to dance dance dance
Gomer LePoet....
Remember Petticoat Junction?
Perhaps Green Acres too?
I Love Lucy and Carol Burnett,
Just for a laugh or two?
Dick Van Dyke and The Munsters,
Back when the "tube" was fun;
Doris Day and Love That Bob,
Don't forget The Flying Nun
Maxwell Smart was an agent,
We all knew Uncle Jed;
Hazel was that clever maid,
It's sad how comedy's fled
The Honeymooner's over,
F Troop's down to zero;
The Beaver's long forgotten,
While Hogan's lost his heroes
Gilligan's left the island,
A Jeannie no longer dreams;
Car 54, where are you?
At times, I wanna scream!
Andy was a country boy,
Gomer, a seargent's pest;
Who made room for daddy?
Don't fathers know what's best?!
Maynard shaved the goatee,
Mister Ed's lost his voice;
My Three Sons are missing,
Ozzie and Harriet had no choice
McHale can't find his navy,
The Addams flown away;
A Martian ain't so favorite,
Our Laugh In's gone astray
Primetime's lost its essence,
Laughter is a con man's game;
A Family Affair's in mourning,
Is the "new age" ours to blame?
Stymied synergistic stoolcumers synchronized
of gifted glib galb garbage run of mouth
nicotine rings of one night
no promise quickly spilled
ever taxed gestured pocket
pool. tandem coulpling random
access eye spew askances for a
tainted night glow. Weak whitewine
whispers office yupslugs curtaling on a
Friday nnite feeding rampage
cock'll doodle do ya, hopefully, fixed
******l trans plant stilted blue
libidious carneverous ego ectascies
exaggerate trip the gonad fantasy fantastic
click, click, click, scrape,
click females ina crowd leave ina crowd
***** puffers everywhere cancer
croonies suck lips with sunken jaw
jumping jill frenzy paste posted tooth
smiles--only gum grin where prohibited
white collar/blue collar share a
once beer of sorts, while linley smoke
figures haunt backwards in a sitdown dismal
denial comedy for the no show waitresses
geese gatheing empty of poignant personality
through bar riers of in-finite age range ripe
rituals for meta phor women to the restroom!
The plot hair thickens. my lungs hurt from watchexisting
Blue suit sancturary slugs offer office onslaughts through
oppulent openings via perservance in a temperate tampon
express meal head long into a pubic partisian oblivion?
True bar tintilation touting tempting tidbits of tumultious
temptations tilting time, tantilizing tremors, tracking
tricks of professional preference and sexosocial sinny
secular satisfaction. Gomer Pyle just pissed by.
Judy, Judy, Judy. Poor Judy.
occular preferences occlude
a debate between
Tim Pawlenty and Mitt Romney--
Gomer Pyle and Sarge?
Florida Evans
Ethel Mertz
Theodore Huxtable
Michael Scott
Mary Albright
Bob Vance
Dr. Johnny Fever
George Jefferson
Esther Anderson
Mayor Quimby
J.J. Evans
Lily Aldrin
Lisa Douglas
Gloria Stivic
Uncle Fester
Oliver Wendell Douglas
Arnold Ziffel
Archie Bunker
Gomez Addams
Baldrick
Gomer Pyle
Lord Percy Percy
Grady Wilson
Wally Cleaver
The Monkey's Uncle
I'm french fried
freeze dried
pour tabasco on top
if you think I lied
if I look your way
I will go astray
pat the monkey's head
every night and day
you drive me mad
with your beautiful smile
for one of your kisses
I would walk a mile
sometimes sassy
with a sharp wit
work the fancy words
rub your hands with spit
a pound of clay
a box of sand
I can spank that monkey
with either hand
hair of gold
hot and cold
motorcycle mama
but it's been sold
likes to dance
when given a chance
has a frequent fire
inside her pants
keeps my head
in constant flux
spinning in circles
that sure sucks
it's my own fault
I'm a carbuncle
stay where you belong
I'm the Monkey's uncle
Gomer LePoet ....
There was a young cowboy named Homer
Who broke bronchos and was a roamer
The girl that he called hon
Said,"When all's said and done,
Those bronchos are breakin' your gomer."
3-10-18
The sprout of momentary illusion,
the voyage of a derelict dream in place of a lie,
the lure of April, the deceit of May concertized in December,
in wintry snow, mocked,
miscarriages of a well worn organ,
the grin of February,
suspended in September,
the burden of unconquered Lust,
the armies of censorial secret "bedders",
begging for the abandoned rottenness on my path,
obsequious frenzy of the hasty oath at Ikoyi,
the stealthily lure of a defiled bed before the oath,
the desperation of "a wanna be" by crook,
hurried by the mascara coated looks of a postponed "dowried hariotery,"
A bedfellow from the red zone,
an unrepentant Gomer,
The armies of bias exes overwhelmed the gaze with suspicions,
compelling through diurnal and surreptitious escapades in dark corners,
allured by unfinished lust,
to the city centre for a quickie,
And myriads of men hides in ambuscade save one,
with threats of kill for suspending their “off home” secret lush
The public mistress unfit for their homes, Yet suited for their Lust by turns
she warmed our beds they say'
purloined for your Fall of a few days,
The bawd roamed unrestrained,
'Don't talk to me' she says.
Unbridled concupiscence her forte,
forty plus years in the trade,
well versed in the art
The sneaky nights,
the secret calls,
the Stygian services,
and countless gift of libidinous frivolities.
Yet their victim must remain mute,
as truly the drama unfolded ,
all appeal rebuffed by arrogance,
as they taunt with permissive perverse Laws
convinced on the first day.
Converse for four weeks,
conscripted in one week
“conbedded” on arrival in same day,
Correction of a fool,
concluded at the Court.
Then in retrospect, Delilah revived.
Some people think I'm crazy
But I'm not an empty suit,
Though sometimes I sound hazy
When I take that extra toot.
I don't mind if people find
My long lost indiscretions.
Errors past are cast from mind
Along with all confessions.
Priest and pastor vanities
Indecently abundant
Do reflect debaucheries
Perversely now redundant.
My politics are changing
As the years are rolling on
But I am not arranging
To become a Limbaugh pawn.
Ditto-heads are overfed
Dumb people who must flatter
Oxycontin Limbaugh led
Mysogynistic chatter.
Blubber-belly Huckabee
Is just a perfect gomer
Add to that hypocrisy
You have a fat misnomer.
Sara Palin made some hay
While daughter made a baby
Sara says "No sex, no way"
But daughter said "Well, maybe."
The daughter did cohabit
Under mother's halo glow
But randy as a rabbit
Her young lust just had to grow.
Noah survived the flood with sons Japheth, Ham, and Shem.
Along with the animals of the earth, God spared them.
With floods, He vowed never again to do such a thing.
God made a covenant with Noah and his offspring:
“You and your sons shall populate the world as you go.
Look up into the clouds and you shall see My rainbow.
This is a sign the covenant is everlasting.
All creatures shall thrive, along with each human being.”
Noah’s grandson, firstborn of Ham, Canaan was his name.
He had to serve Shem and Japheth because he brought shame.
Ham also gave birth to Cush; who in turn brought Raamah.
Raamah extended the line with Dedan and Sheba.
Shem was fruitful producing many generations.
Arphaxad and Aram’s progeny would lead nations.
Among Japheth’s seven sons were Gomer and Javan
Their descendents also had produced many children.
Among Ham’s descendents was a king who defied God.
A mighty hunter and warrior, he was Nimrod.
His kingdom had contained land from Babylonia.
Moreover, it stretched as far south as Assyria.
His great cities included Calah and Nineveh.
They lived on land between the Euphrates and Tigris.
His people united and strong were making progress.
Nimrod proclaimed, “We have one language and great power.
Let us assemble and raise a very tall tower.
This ziggurat will provide a stairway to a star.
We are an ambitious people, and we can go far!”
A new great city appeared on the plain of Shinar.
With formidable walls constructed with bricks and tar.
God realized these persons were filling with contempt,
He wished to halt their foolhardy fallacious attempt.
Perplexing their language among them caused confusion.
They stopped construction and divided with diffusion.
God’s almighty power can never be defeated.
Therefore, the Tower Of Babel was not completed.
A ziggurat is a temple of Babylonian architecture resembling a pyramid. It begins
with either a square or a rectangular base. Additional stories with smaller floor
space create a terrace effect on each level.
Genesis Chapters 8-11
.
Gomer
Pretty fool, beautiful
you laid down
you got down
with your lover Wooo!
what you do now no ones pitying you now
you now unfaithfulness to the Lord
You though he loved you now
you walked away from your first love
You thought he loved you child
there's more than his manhood
He's a man-child
Gomer
Unfaithful to the Lord just a whore
What if you prayed
Why? Didn't you stay
Yet you strayed no longer a virgin
Now you're a burden
Gomer
It is more than his manhood
He's a man-child
Gomer
unfaithful to the Lord just a whore
Why did she pray
Why didn't you stay?
Yet she strayed
No longer a virgin now
You unfaithful to the Lord
Just a whore where are you now
How can the government and the village must now help you child
You should have kept your dress down
You should have kept your pants on
Modern Gomer
unfaithful to the Lord
just a whore
He done got what he wanted
You thought he loves you but he doesn't
He just came alone came along to hit
His 6 minutes of pleasure now quit it-(acquitted)
Now going to give you nine months of misery,
Gomer
Just a whore- unfaithful to the Lord just like Israel
6/3/22
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.2022©
Got yourself some new wheels, huh?
I can hear the squeals of rubber burning
I cough exhaust…left behind, oh gosh! I’m holding just a pile of dented fenders…
suspended… Your bucks spent. Engine Red..that foreign bred truck!
Snap, crackle and Popular Mechanic…Look at the maniac go….!
Holy, Moly….must be rolling in dough!
Woe is me, a junk yard dog, pile of junk, smelly sneakers left in my trunk
There he goes….who knows where….how many horses…under that hood...?
Should I know? I’d fly too, if I could. Just scrap metal in my bellow.
Heavy pedal, limp and wasted..used to be his favorite girl…kept me polished, waxed
and oiled…now I’m soiled. No garage..no umbrella, who gives a rip? Worn out
engine, give up the ship! Cast away…..not in style…gave a ride to Gomer Pyle
“See the USA in your Chevrolet"…, ‘cept that I ain’t got no carburetor
See ya later gator…what’s the hurry fella? Did ya see the light was yellow?
Red light, yellow light…. see if we can make the green
Going green….going green,….does that mean his hybrid’s clean?
Anti-freeze, it makes me sneeze….can’t I have some oil please?
Give ‘er the gas, let’s see what she’s got!
OH.. forgot!…ain’t got my tires..I’m retired
Pubescent male migration, arcing over sunless streets
Hear that squeak……doctor told me oil leak
Honest Engine, joined the pack, no Pontiac to take that ride
Is there heaven for old cars? Car 54 where are you??
I got my kicks on Route 66, running relays, no baton, just open freeways
Son of a gun…give it the gun……vroom.. vroom… run… run!
One door closes, need new hoses, or I don’t go nowhere… no how
Pile of rust, I’ve been busted, up on blocks…what a crock!
My teeth and pride are all knocked in…windshield wipers brush a tear
Windshield wipers swipe the years…skid marks show behind my eyes
Teeth and pride are all knocked in, guess I’m just an old has been!
______________________________________
a stream of consciousness
Two Words – Redux Three
Wax
Wane
Big
Train
Hood
Wood
Tooth
Booth
Gosh
Posh
Purple
Pink
Kitchen
Sink
Ice
Rink
Nays
Ways
Moon
Shine
Vinegar
Brine
Wild
One
Hun
Pun
Smart
Enough
Not
Tough
Prince
Wince
Ping
Pong
Bong
Dong
Real
Thing
Voice
Hoarse
Winning
Horse
Grasshopper
Stridulate
Cosmic
Force
Too
Much
Not
Enough
Poll
Toll
Pool
Tool
Duel
Fool
Bread
Roll
Place
Race
Brawl
Tall
Ace
Chase
Bath
Wrath
Back
Rub
Bone
Daddy
Phone
Mommy
Bingo
Bango
Exciting
Tango
Fango
Jango
Play
Piano
Porky
Pig
Dance
Jig
Hour
Tower
Flower
Power
Witch
Hazel
Nose
Nasal
Eye
Brow
Black
Cow
Bow
Wow
Fat
Man
Diet
Plan
Circus
Politics
Dirty
Sure
Facts
Blur
Sham
Shame
Many
Blame
Propel
Excel
Pain
Contain
All
Same
Total
Insane
Pica
Print
Time
Went
Odor
Vent
Pint
Tint
Rile
Pile
Gomer
Pyle
Vex
Hex
Hey
Tex
Tyrannosaurus
Rex
Flex
Perplex
Flick
Fleck
Bird
Peck
Oh
Heck
Card
Deck
Slick
Wick
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved
November 2, 2018 (Short-Form Free Verse)
Sands of Time
these grains of sand passing by I find
are like the memories of lives gone past
and as these sands of time flow through my mind
I wonder when I will find the key at last
living in caves searching the heavens
fishing in streams and hunting my meals
and each morning as the sun star leavens
my mind turns like stone age wheels
a million years have come and gone
I suppose a million more will pass on by
the age of man has hardly dawn
I look up and wonder why
why am I here just what is my purpose
sometimes I feel this is such a cruel game
in this ring of a crazy circus
am I a fool should I feel some shame
some say just keeping faith is all you need
I think that's a hopeful guess
you cannot know from where came the seed
it is impossible to say truly yes
many before me and yet more will come
to trudge through the desert of life
the sands of time shifting beat like a drum
and we dance on to music from the fife
I can only hope that when I have gone
no one will shake their heads and say
he followed in line just like a pawn
retracing steps of another day
once again I look to the sky
ever searching for inspiration devine
feeling tears fall from my eye
tears of all mankind not just mine
Gomer LePoet...