Best Garage Poems
Yard Sales are the
Macy’s of Saturday shopping,
On a budget that fits in my coin purse.
written for contest
07/27/2019
The residents will soon be moving.
There is lots of miscellaneous and
still useable items.
Some old growth redwoods
and fishable seas, some
breathable air
and unpolluted shores,
bargains galore so
don't hesitate
to make an offer.
All prices are negotiable
and everything must go.
Saturday, from 9-5, please,
no earlies.
Earth, the nearest cross-street
is Milky Way.
As I walk around,
I find:
2 windows flawless with absolutely no bugs, spiders, creatures of any kind
2 hanging blinds perfectly dusted and cleaned
1 red toolbox entirely organized by wrenches, hammers, and screwdrivers
1 blue toolbox with little sliding doors utterly sorted by nuts, bolts, and nails
2 shelves with gardening tools separated by size
3 boxes individually labeled “Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas”
and the reason for all this:
I am bored.
©Holly P. Moore
November 2012
1221 Boiling Weather Drive
First customer gets a free beehive
With purchase ten bones or more
Food, drinks, desserts galore
Porcelain hitchhiker needs a ride
Up at dawn...
Jackets on...
8am is coming fast...
I must hurry...can't be last.
I checked the ad's...I checked it twice...
I made my list...it took half the night.
I've planned my route...
I have no doubt...it will bring me victory!
I cleaned the car...made lot's of room,
for all the treasures I'll load in soon.
Here we are...the first big sale...
only $1.00 for an inflatable whale.
I don't really need it...that is true...
but at that price I should get 2.
Oh look 3 stacks of mismatched dishes.
I can cross that off my garage sale wishes.
I must look quick...and not delay...
for soon I must be on my way.
As bigger sales call out my name...
my husband thinks I've gone insane.
P.R.Deremer
For sale a bunch of fine unused words, many misspelled
Poet can’t uses them; mind is on strike, the pen has been stilled
These words never used for they never quite seemed to fit
Got them online; advertisement said they were a complete poetry kit
Can’t send them back because I did use a few; the remainder unused
Selling at half price; many are funny words which will leave you amused
I once had some poems to unveil
So I decided to have a garage sale
so I put up a sign
to all those inclined
to peruse my poems in detail
But rain fell pitta patter
and some people did scatter
to shelter from the rain
but many remained to purchase dizains
and sonnets were served on a platter
When the weather had cleared
several people came there
to buy my acrostics and rhymes
with Mcwhirtles on sale for a dime
while Rispettos were sold by the pair
At a Garage Sale
Wish my golf energy was tough enough
To keep me from ending up in the rough
Each time I am heading for the green
And caught in some trap in between.
Great golf game is what I had in mind,
But when I ended up so far behind
Thought came to me I was about to croak
Each time that I had taken another stroke.
Not only that things looked terribly dismal
All of my game ended up being abysmal
Told everyone about my high handicap
Said it all sounded like a total mishap.
After last stroke some people started to say
Golf game again I should never, ever play
So I ended up back home and without fail
Gave my golf things away at a garage sale.
James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran
I’m having a garage sale
Though I don’t have a garage.
Come check out all my offerings –
You’ll see a strange montage.
I have similes and metaphors
So old that they’re clichés.
There are sentences and verses
Budding writers can rephrase.
From a stack of nouns quite towering
Are so many you can choose;
Mix and match with all my adjectives –
You simply cannot lose.
There’s a vat of verbs just waiting,
Some with adverbs still attached;
And a box of prepositions,
With its lock no longer latched.
There might be a spare conjunction
Hiding underneath the rhymes;
As for interjections – Ha!
They’re rare as Mercury-head dimes.
Yet if you pay me a visit,
You might find the words you need;
I’ve been cleaning up my clutter
And there’s good stuff, guaranteed.
So come pick through my possessions
‘Cause I’m lightening my load.
Then feel free to write a sonnet
Or a limerick or ode.
For garage sales held by poets
Are, to me, the most inviting,
Since your purchases may point you
To the pathway paved with writing.
Ilene Bauer
September 6, 2012
(this was accidentally deleted from my poems list, so i wanted to reenter it)
If I could sell away some baggage
Tears and fears would be first to list
My hubbies lackadaisacal attitude
My sore joints and perfectionist tendencies
My son's messiness and lack of sage
Clutter and papers need not exist
Inheritance clutter has in'eptitude
Weighing heavy on my thoughts
For the contest by SKAT
9/6/12
paper typewriters books and dictionaries
pens pencils desk
coffee cups
come on down
we're the coolest sale in town
we've got books
and nooks
pick out a pen
spend less then ten
i'm having a party
so don't be tarty
i've got type writers
and a desk to make things tightier
so come and spend
it's less i have to lend!
Before sales
Putting up signs with nails
Totally spent
Plus some bent!
At least it never fails!
Artfully arranged articles:
Books beside bedding,
Clocks, camera, china cups clinking,
Dishes, decanters, dining damask,
Electronics
Facing ferns,
Gardening gear. Gaudy
Handwoven hats hide
Inkstained
Jute. Junk jewelry,
Kitchenware, kite kits,
Linens laying lopsided.
Marbles, magazines, menswear,
Nice needlework, necklaces,
Ornaments,
Pots, pans, pretty plants put parallel.
Quality quite
Reasonable. Rickrack, ribbons,
Sewing sack spilling
Thread, thimbles. Toys
Underneath umbrellas.
Video variety
Waiting watchers.
Xylophone
Yields
Zing.
Buy one, get one free!
Waste no time, come and see!
If you are looking for a metaphor
please check the green box at the front door.
Similes are in a stack, take all you want
Hiding under the wizard's hat.
Acrostic words, there are very few
But there are many old and new haiku.
Love phrases are stacked sky high
Wasted tears stacked up to the sky.
Woeful plea's, some old some new
Pick the one best suited for you.
Quatrains in piles are in rows of four
Couplets in twos sit by the back door.
Pantoun, sonnets, odes of love
Are on ladders reaching the heavens above.
Take your time for For verses of rhyme,
Some are borrowed from old father time.
This sale will be held just for a day
I have things to do, happiness is on the way.
Buy any one with a kiss, two of any thing with a hug
Three by standing on your head, , four with a tug...
On my day dreams ready to go out and play
Recycled heart strings are free...molded in clay.
The sale ends at midnight on the day after forever!
No returns accepted, take every purchase and do something clever!
Sunday. September 30, 2012
For SKAT"s Contest
Away in a garage
My car felt alone.
And she was frightened
Wanting to come home.
She has a phobia
Of mechanical men.
She will break down
If she sees them again!
Like doctors to humans,
Apprehension's within.
Though they're there to help us
They get under our skin.
My car was so frazzled
She was shedding her paint!
If she were a person
I'm sure she would faint.
But after persuasion
A service was done...
This time next year
This will have begun.