Best Fishy Poems
I spoke to the sea,
a calm breath
though a gale raged
inside of me – both my
sails shredded, I begged
for mercy:
“Thou art the greatest world current,
what brag would be a wretched notch
like me!? Devourer of coasts!
Reshaper of vast continents! Bane
of man’s mightiest fleets! Countless
formidable have foolishly challenged thee, and now
lie silent in your crushing depths...were I
added to such esteem numbers,
a bald-headed, gray bearded, toothless
old dote, it would be a disgrace~
better toss me high into the
air, toward that island over there, for
unlike you, Great Wet Majesty, crocodiles
and lizards have no pride; then there
not be shame of yours to hide –
promise, never will I return….”
and this, dear children, is why
grandpa cannot take you fishing --
A pond sits in the glen
bright fish dashing about
casting silvery shadows
ducks chasing after them
eels making their way to sea
flying birds circling back and forth
green frogs croaking for a mate
herons gobbling them up
in the depths a pike floats
jutting out its pointed head
keeping hidden as it prowls
lurking between the rotting logs
minnows swim by unharmed in shoals
newts eagerly snapping them up
out in the reeds lays up a catfish
playing dead it patiently waits
quick to react to its prey
reaping the bounties little fry snack
sticklebacks swim lazily through reed beds
trout leaping catching fly's and midgets
under the calm waters life abounds
vivid rainbow trout spawn
while the blue waters thrive
xanthine filled plants floating
yellowfin cutthroat trout dart by and
zander perch fill a fisherman's net
The Japanese love puffer fish
Although it is a toxic dish
Despite their endeavour
Our Jan tells us, "NEVER!"
A fish that farts is not her wish
What have you done, for you look like a perch?
On Botox you should've done some research
I won't sugarcoat it
You look very bloated
Your face is engorged, and some will besmirch
Resembling a puffer with puckered lips
I wanna pop them with my fingertips
Dress yourself up in lace
Get rid of that fish face
Girl, you better get real and come to grips!
Your booty sticks out. You've such a huge butt
People laugh behind your back when you strut
They giggle and they wink
Some even say you stink
Like a three-day old catch of Halibut
Your teeth are threatening like a hungry shark
Who'd bite me like a mad dog with a bark
You're known as a stinker
Caught, hook, line and sinker
People point at you and call you a snark
You are as fishy as a speckled trout
So nice to people before it's found out
It's nothing but a show
Just a smoke screen you blow
A tasteless fish thrown back, without a doubt
You've earned the deserved name of big mouth bass
A loose lip fish without an ounce of class
Kicked out of many schools
Cause they didn't like fools
Shunned by all the Tropicals known as wrasse
You've been compared to the swimmer called 'carp'
A lesser species whose teeth are quite sharp
A catch that's not a prize
Most fishermen despise
No angel fish when it plays on a harp
Sometimes you resemble a red snapper
Belting out words like a winded rapper
Blah blah blah, on you jaw
Irksome as a jackdaw
You sound like the news anchor, Jake Tapper
When you swim in the pool, you're called a whale
Ya think that's due to the size of your tail?
In candy you indulge
It's the cause of your bulge
You might want to try a diet of kale
I can’t understand the ambition
Of people who love to go fishin’.
Outsmarting your dinner
Might say you’re a winner,
But what when you fail in that mission?
A kipper is proof that smoking is bad for your health!
9th March 2016
There is a pub in the Midlands
Which goes by a fishy name.
Be careful what you say in there.
Or you won't be let in again.
It won't be swearing that'll get you barred
Or the starting of a fight
But suggestions to improve the beer.
Or compliments when it's right.
So when next in Leicester
Try a friendly pub instead
The place many recommend
Is the good old Kings Head.
A catcher with much on his mind
approaches and asks are you blind?
control is the issue
and these are the Fish who
embody the worst of mankind.
How could the weather forecast not tantalize me
To play truant on the eve of Miss Gaybird’s test?
The river would be an invitation the next day
To go and try my luck at catching a tasty trout.
So early next morning I left my mother curious
Wondering where I was heading to, as I carried
My tackle and my fishing rod and prayed for weather fair.
There the river ran its surface shining and calm.
All day I fished, throwing line, reeling in and slacking out.
Alas it seemed too calm for my eventual luck.
Then a light breeze ruffled the surface and I hoped.
After a while the rod bent, I had managed a catch.
I used all my experience while controlling the vortex
Of elation at what I was sure was a big trout,
I had to tread carefully lest it got away and so
I had to plunge into the water, net in hand to land the fish.
In the kitchen, all alone I knew how to eviscerate the trout,
Clean it under running water and put it in the fridge.
My mother would be pleased, I thought. I would bewilder her
With a great barbeque pleasing dinner when dad came home.
Surprise of surprises Miss Gaybird was there, face scarlet
Asking: “What fallacious excuse am I to hear from you?”
There was not much to say except invite her to eat with us.
Which she did and enjoyed it to the full too.
But I got no sympathy from her. I still failed the test.
One night an octopus said,
Those whelks should be in bed.
Said the herring to the plaice,
Would you please say grace.
"I say" said a passing whale,
"Is that kipper for sale."
There is somethingvery odd,
Repied a bewildered cod.
"Excuse me" asked the shark,
"Did you hear that dogfish bark".
The haddock with a smile serene,
Said the mermaid is our queen.
May I join you said the seal,
To the mackerel with some appeal.
Of course the snapper replied,
Yes,yes the mullet cried.
A RACE TO DE-BONE FISH:
Filet
Relay
A CONVENT FOR SHELL FISH:
Oyster
Cloister
A MEMBER OF THE UNDER SEA MAFIA:
Mobster
Lobster
A PROMISCUOUS SHRIMP:
Trampy
Scampi
A MUSICAL RED SNAPPER:
Snapper
Rapper
A COMPASSIONATE FISH:
Caring
Herring
A LAW ENFORCEMENT FISH:
Grouper
Trouper
2/2/13
Entered in Brian Strand's All Yours Contest
Said a Cod to a wise old Eel,
I would like to know how you feel?
Though people snack on dips,
Lots more eat fish and chips.
They say it has great meal appeal!
Said the Eel to the wise old Cod,
I find that unusually odd.
I've never had to worry,
As so many eat curry.
Very few are after my bod!
Just then a worldly old Squid,
Doing what Squids always did.
Went swimming slowly on by.
Said he "Me, they'll never fry"
"They'll only eat me jellied!"
Next came a Lobster and Blue Crab.
Followed by a Flounder and Dab.
They agreed with the old Cod,
A fish with a succulent 'bod'
Always ends up on a slab!
Then a Shrimp, Whelk and a Mussel.
All went by in a hustle.
Then the Winkle with the Clam,
Who said "I'd better scram!"
"Cos I give chowder its muscle!
Following next came the Herring,
In a disguise he was wearing.
For he was truly afraid,
That the batter being made,
Was for him. His instinct unerring!
Then both a large and small-mouthed Bass,
And a lone, solitary Wrasse.
Not to forget the Scallop,
Going by at a gallop.
All getting away en masse!
Next Mackerel, Haddock and Plaice.
Not one with a smile on its face.
The handsome Halibut too,
Was looking glum and blue,
Which went as well for the Dace!
Now to all fish its crystal clear.
Most of them have plenty to fear.
Be they skinned, fried and eaten
With bread - White, Brown or Wheaten,
Or soaked and battered in beer!
Rhymer. December 6th, 2016.
Dishy Fishy Frisky
There is a man name Bob Dishy
Who always went plenty fishy
Could not keep in tune
In the month of June
Stay far for he gets quite frisky.
Written: July 30, 2015
Theresa Marie W-C
the car you sold my wifes junk
proof you need just check the trunk
apple turnips pear
pollute nose and air
to the lake alas its sunk.
FISHY!
-Dharga Nagar Safa
SEA is small,
FISH to live!
Letters wise!