Best Disillusioned Poems
Always alone, no matter where
never understanding the why
The question not answered,
there's no one to ask
passage of time appears endless
trying to fill an emptiness, struck at birth
Watching from afar
as others move through life with passion
seeking their chosen course
while I drift
struggling to find purpose or reason
in the dim light of days
Tomorrows pass
My thoughts are only of yesterdays
when emptiness was smaller
and was covered by the coat of ignorance
If only I could find joy
for one minute
that minute would give a lifetime of memories
where I could live in content
Even now I'm a shadow passing through a crowd
a mist they're separated from
that will quickly disperse
If I scream would anyone hear?
If I spoke would anyone listen?
If I disappeared would anyone care?
How cold the world, how deep its pain
not understanding why
I'm alive
3/29/17
What have I done wrong …why won’t you listen to me
I have my own opinions – I just want you to see
Please will you just listen – I don’t want to fight
We both realise its not simply black or white
You don’t need to explain everything you do
If you listen to me, I will listen to you
5th February 2015
From the moment we met you took care of me
You made sure I had all I might need
You bought me drinks and you bought me flowers
You were trying so hard to succeed
First you won my heart, and then you won my body
I presented them gladly to you
You told me you loved me, that I was your world
So of course I thought I'd won you too
But then you moved in and the changing began
All though it was subtle at first
Yet still, we were married and now after eight years
I think this is you at your worst
Some women are guilty of trying to change
Their men into something they're not
But I would be happy if you'd just change back
I dont think that's asking a lot
You no longer defend me or make me feel special
I'm most likely expendable too
And I guess my thought process
doesn't work like yours does
I'd have taken that bullet for you.
Disappointment /// Disillusioned
If only it could be known ?, if it be told
why my youngest Child, becomes meanly bold.
If only the truth be seen, the tale would unfold.
Regardless – she in my heart – I will always hold
even if – to these devils – her soul, she has sold.
My little world has come tumbling down,
uncertainty, heartache, fear for all around.
My life, no longer planted firmly on the ground.
Insignificant ?, I feel !, – not a ripple, not a wave
as I – carelessly thrown into the fray of a deep blue sea –
await my fate in the gloom and doom of impending eternity
as my youngest Daughter, prepares me for the grave.
This Beautiful Child, - goes ugly at times – Mel, Melanie,
seems determined - hell bent and hell bound to destroy me
by any means – one way or by any other
acting like – becoming so much like her mother,
following in the foot steps- wearing the boots of her sister,
Mandy, who can be a child without feelings, nothing to register
a sign, a belief in – there seems to be nothing to family ties.
It seems to be ?, all I feel from her, see with these old eyes
and have to wonder ?, has it died ?, all gone dry ?
Is my life ?, are my Friends, my Family – lost – reason to cry,
cry !!!, as all seems to have been going down the road, toward dust.
Do I accept ?, live without ?, I guess, move on I must,
as, upon this old metal – my life – things begin to rust,
become the poisons eating away
at what is left – taking me to that end day.
All that is left for me to do ?, it seems, is pray !!!
In my heart, in my mind, my memory, they will always stay
even if ?, in the physical, in the spiritual, my Girls are gone,
doing the things they must and continuing to move on
towards a world of bigger ( I pray ) and better things.
Things taking them beyond their mother / me, what life brings
to them, that has tortured, haunted and torn them apart,
allowing them a better future – then their past – and a new start
and hopes – from me – that all the negativity will depart.
Love
Dad
B. J. “A ” 2
June 3rd 2004
Dee said she loved me I was pleased
She wanted me I was relieved
But Dee let me down
I felt like a clown
Turned down to be a man I peeved
Disillusioned
broken promises,
goodbye my love,
sorrow filled darkness awaits,
unenchanted.
05/25/2017
rocks in the rocking chair
with her granddaughter by her side,
she’s grown into an ambitious young woman,
she asks nana how it was
when she was young &
wondering if so many people back then
were so disillusioned
with the way that things were going
in their country---
grandma asks her to turn off the tv.,
grandma turns to her to say,
“when i was younger i had hope that
things were gonna change,
i stood in the streets with my friends &
family---
we fought against the police &
we all went to jail,
because we didn’t believe in the wars that
our country was waging,
we didn’t believe in the way that our
country was treating its own citizens &
we didn’t feel that things would change
unless we ourselves did something…”
and then there was a pause &
her granddaughter smiled anxiously,
because she always looked up to her
nana for guidance, advice & wisdom---
but her grandmother didn’t say a thing
after that---she just looked out the window
& kept rocking in her chair.
Shaken snow globe disarray
Stark format unfamiliar
Relocated mountain ranges
Jacket assets of chameleon
Wobbled flesh given for return
Eyeballers display dollars
Fixated focus planted firm
Subject unacknowledged
Drifting body parts ignite
Lust of lurid possibility
From actuality retired
Maggot eaten depravity
Gyraters' slip into depiction
Resigned, pilot drives auto
Puckered faces maintain rhythm
Minds' contents, peeled potato
Stiletto gripping charicature
Formed from Adam's vital rib
Collared stilled near provocatuer
Audience outcome pathetic
Satirical image conjured as ideal
Patron clean faced gullible
Sensation powders scene unreal
Hand fulls of snowballs - impossible!
We pledged our vows before God and man,
But to have and to control was your only plan.
you wanted a mother certainly not a wife ,
Your verbal abuse nearly destroyed my life.
You wanted to be a father but only in name ,
This was all part of your devious game.
An uncaring parent that's what you were ,
Blood is thicker than water don't you know?
Whenever you sow your seeds,
You nuture them and ensure that they grow.
Marriage is not a fairy tale,
Where dreams just come true,
It's a lot of hard work and committment
you have to put in too.
So ponder on that before you answer the Lord,
Because as you know, he'ii always detect a fraud.
Form:
Disillusioned by the words of hate,
Disatisfied with present fate,
Hope crouches in the corner there,
Muttering rebellion at despair.
Before the heart is torn to shreds,
Between the words alive and dead,
It must be bruised and brought to shame,
And eagerly accept the blame.
Life it seems is forcing me,
To choose between breath and liberty,
My transient soul would have me trade,
True love for oaths that I have made.
It beacons me to enter in,
And forms a soul for mine akin,
And bleeds and sheds it's tears as bait,
Treasonous wretch, it lies in wait.
The door has closed, distrust returns,
The heart that kills, is that which spurns-
the tender beats of a trusting heart,
And builds of words a wall to part.
I make an adder's nest my home,
And dream that I am not alone.
I pray that time would not stand still,
But into future pain would spill.
Grant me leave from this life's scars,
The treachery that wounds and mars,
God if indeed Your love is true,
Call me swiftly home to You.
YLE
Disillusioned dreams never absent
Empty echoes of my past
Haunting memories never disappear
Wandering continuously
Lost in obscurity
Misled and adrift
Forever searching in darkness
Emptiness corroding the
Essence of my soul
Lost in myself
No way to be found
Drifting within the uncharted
Invisible in the shadows
Heart afflicted with misery
Anguish follows
no end in sight
Form:
Doors swings,
The 'galadima's' walking steps,
He possesses,
As if he was a gladiator.
A poised glance by everyone,
He bounces outside as regular,
Complain yet to seize a hold
On his mouth,
The git he saw on the canoe,
Re-awaken his reserved anger,
Only in his attitude,
That anger sleeps and waits awaken.
All his explanation to the boat man
Fell on deaf ears,
A motion to drop his phone,
A refusal by him,
I guess it ended in sixes and sevens.
The turn of the family
To have a taste of the awaaken anger,
Tro-fro he went with his guy,
Finally here he comes,
Requested for food,
But for him to see what he hardly eats
And was tensed up,
Vowed to seal the stomach of everyone,
The door clapped at it closing.
Asked for his money,
Just to get a shocker,
That his baby has taken it due to reasons,
Out he went shouting,
Attracting humans and awaken the fast
Asleep by his choked voice,
His baby trying to calm him down,
Just for her to loose her food
To the mother earth asthe content
Kisses the ground,
What a mess.
The sitted one arouses,
Po-faced at the incident,
The poignancy of his action,
Stolid in his movement,
Refused advice of the sitted,
His re-buff character.
I suggest he should be a re-clause,
A call of jaunt,
Calamity at its peak I see,
The pernicious influence of friends on him.
Life Corrupted
Innocence vanished
Deceit, Dishonesty, and distrust arise
Perception altered from hardships and struggles
No understanding of how to rise above
Condescension and arrogance all around
Judgement from everywhere
How can there be change without compassion and mercy?
Form:
The Disillusioned Man
He sold his fancy flash car
And bought a bicycle
Second hand
He gave his expensive suits to charity
His Gucci shoes
And stuffed shirts
Calvin Kline pants
Handed his gold wrist watch to a Hobo
Took off his rings and gave them away
He even stopped bathing every day
Used cheap aftershave and anti deodorant
Two pairs of ten-dollar shoes
But he kept all his old worn T-shirts
All the faded and ripped old trousers
Comfortable shorts
He never ironed them
Poor looking but clean
Work stained all the same
He chucked out all semblance of taste and wealth
Wore socks with holes
Grew a beard
Bought an ipod
And walked around oblivious
He decided that this is the way it will be
And if this is all women can see
Then he
Had no interest in them
And he walks around with a constant grin
There is so much more than clothes and money
To be known of him
And only a woman who can see to his skin
Will ever interest him
Unfulfilled little promises that my people made to me..
My mother vowed me to buy a heart shaped dollar..
But she didn't
My father vowed that he would buy own house..
But he didn't
My girl friend told she would teach me to ride bike ..
But she didn't
My best friend told he would offer me treat..
But he didn't
My partner told he would invite me abroad ..
But he didn't
I too made a promise but it's on tussle..
I promised to be a lifelong friend
To one of the girl who's posh trend
As our friendship grew high
I began to sadly sigh
I analysed her personality thorough
As I slightly disliked it though
Managed to stick and adjust
Not letting her aware that am unable to ingest.
But still somehow I promised to be her affable friend
despite knowing one day she is gonna force me bend.
I need to maintain distance mode
to prevent from fight explode
We all do promises for one or the other reason
Once given away your promises
Lock it in heart's folder premises
It has to be consciously kept
Later not distressfully wept
Before you make
For someone's sake
Not knowing if they're fake
You need to ponder
Then later don't wonder
Finally when it is made
It should be saved
Don't allow it to fade...
30-5-2020
~DEEPA~
Second place in the Contest.
Note1: *The promise poetry Contest*
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