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Stupid New Year's Resolutions

 
My (Stupid) Resolutions For 2017 1. Lose 20 pounds and prepare to finance a whole new wardrobe. When eating ask yourself, would a healthy person eat this and what to heck is- Red Dye #2, and malotextrin disodoium anyways? 2. Quite drinking coffee and coke, okay just delete this one right now! 3. Make more money, as per, The Secret, just BELIEVE, believe, believe and say "make more money" out loud 500+ TIMES per day. Right! 4. Get out of debt, okay just delete this one too! 5. Discover why I was born and what am I suppose to be doing?? (Didn't I try this last year?) Okay, just meditate each day and see what happens. 6. Which brings me to - Don't do the same stupid things I did last year. Oh, why not just print out last years resolutions and save some time. Time is ticking, tocking away! 7. Carry dental floss everywhere. Simple. Make the dentist happy. 8. I resolve to come up with a stronger password than Kitty1 9. Stop making spelling errors and find the dictionary buried under books. 10. Again, I will pray daily for a fatter bank account and a thinner body and pray that God does not get those two mixed up. 11. Stop making stupid lists and learn to COUNT. 12. ? ______________________________________ December 15, 2016 Poetry/Free Verse/Stupid New Year's Resolutions Copyright Protected, ID 16-858-293-0 All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

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Flats Avatar
December 19, 2016 at 9:06 AM
GOTD! (giggle of the day award). Absotootly stellar silliness! Thank you so much for the giggles! ~ john
Onclaud Avatar
December 15, 2016 at 3:42 PM
lol, i never followed through my lists, constance.. am still on a coke binge, typing terribly x 2, and more!..had fun with this..huggs
Babbit Avatar
December 15, 2016 at 11:52 AM
I think this used to my list, now I only make one each year - World Peace???
Green Avatar
December 15, 2016 at 11:41 AM
Dental floss...I can do that. :) This was funny my friend. Loved each line. Good luck in the contest.
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