Best Conker Poems


When I Was a Lad

When I was a lad about nine or ten
Summers were long school holidays great then
I played in our street we had so much fun
Me and my mates in the warm summer sun.

We felt really safe as we played in our street
We respected the bobby as he walked his beat
Cricket and football in the street we would play
My mate smashed a window we all ran away.

The girls played skipping with their hair in a bow
We would rather play fight , climb trees you know
We would play marbles and conkers make paper planes too
Me and my mates found plenty to do.

We even built a trolley using wheels from a pram
We chased all the girls they squeled as they ran
The days were so long much time to kill
I remember playing roly poly down that grassy hill.

We tried to build a raft with some oil drums tied to a big plank
We took it to the river guess what it sank
I had so much fun growing up as a lad
I was bit of a rascal but good times we all had.





Bobby is a slang word for a policeman
A trolley is like a gokart but made of wood
A conker grows on a Horse chestnut tree. You thread string through the conker stand facing 
another person with one and take turns hitting each others conker until one breaks off the 
string

Haiku # 15 .

THE  CHESTNUT  TREE  BLOOMS  .

BOYHOOD  DREAMS  OF  AUTUMN  GAMES  

WILL  STOOP  TO  CONKER  .
© Sean Kelly  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member Hobby Horse

Trade-off
in the school yard-
soccer cigarette cards
equals five stones plus my sixer
conker.


She Stoops To Conquer!

Autumnal power 
Collected a summer of admirers
Now she Stoops to Conquer

Me monkey like watching in awe 
Cast a big stick high into the big tree
Now proudly I Stoop to Conker
© Nigel Fox  Create an image from this poem.

Where Oh Where Did Autumn Go

Woke up this morning to some snow,
Where oh where did Autumn go?
We went from roasting to deep freeze,
When did the leaves fall from the trees?
When did the Conker Season end?
It’s something I can’t comprehend,
Why should Autumn seem much shorter,
Than any other yearly quarter?
How could I a whole season miss?
Could climate change be blamed for this?
I’m afraid I just don’t know,
Where oh where did Autumn go?

Conkered!

I came
I saw
I played conkers.

I felt denied a pleasure
as mine was too small.
But it had a life of its own.
Tiny little piece of wood
I knew it could 
conquer
the bigger existance.
It had great resistance.

Small
and yet insistant.
begin what it had started
not ready to fall,
rising above expectations
of itself
smashed...
but rising
a little grain
a little salt
bury me
but
i
will contiue the fight
not yet contrite

place me in a subtle soil
nourish me
and time will tell.
I will conquer that conker!


The Rumblebean

A midget made a Rumblebean
Whilst lying in the sun.
It was the greenest he had seen,
‘That’s green,’ he said, ‘bar none.’

He picked it up and spected it,
Implying to and fro.
He felt it like some clever dick
And knew what he did know.

‘I’ll plant it!’ came his voice in sound,
Familiar as his face.
‘I’ll plant it in the earthy ground,
And leave no digging trace.’

The midget, with a knowing look
Dug deep and secret down.
And using only half a hook,
A conker and a frown.

‘This Rumblebean is wrapped in mud!’
He bellied on ascending.
‘The kind that turns things into wood,
And letters ripe for sending.’

Then with a little stake he stuck
Upon the very spot,
A note made out of hope and luck,
Tied with a safety knot.

‘Grow well my little Rumblebean,’
The midget shed in tears.
‘Grow up onto a might av been,
And prosper through your ears.’

Reminiscing What a Big One

Reminiscing
Sitting here the sky is grey
Contemplating what to do today
I’ve read some poems this morning anew
They made me think of when I was with you
The love we shared on a grey morn like this
My heart I gave, you gave me a kiss
I spoke those words so hard to get out
I love you dearest, I wanted to shout
You took my words I had given to you
But you buried them away and I knew we were through
The tears slide down my cheeks now anew
I wish I could see you to say thank you
My heart I gave you when I was six
I didn’t know life played awful tricks
I never loved you I know that’s true now
You just had a bigger conker than me it was WOW!
I had a sixer you had a niner
You bragged about it even when it gave you a shiner
It flew off your string and hit you in the eye
I laughed till I wet myself, I don’t know why
Just sitting reminiscing on this cold grey day
Has made me smile with the memories, now so far away.

Written By Mandy Tams  17/02/2012
CONKERS# A childs game played by threading the seed from the horse chesnut tree ie:conker, on a piece of string then bashing the oponnents conker with it. The winner is termed by the amount of conkers they break, ie: oner,twoer three'er and so on.

Garden of Life

What more delicate than the singing of the birds as they flutter and stumble,
Sweet as apple crumble
The wren and the robin, heads a bobbin, squabbling over fallen sunflower seed
Each his need
The bigger they are, the harder they fall
Better luck next time, wren, as robin stood tall 
The squirrel racing the fence, hence, some others beat him to the feast of acorn And conker
He shall conquer
Two at a time he steals away, there may be none left another day
He will return for more.
He knows the score
He has seen the bowl of monkey nuts
Near the door
The hedgehog, shuffling through the vinca major, wager he too
Is after a worm or two
Not much vision for one so short of sight
Darkness at night
Guided by sense
Through the hole in the fence
He is being watched by the cat
Nothing wrong with that
The cat will keep his distance
On this instance
Hedgehog is a formidable foe to puss
Thus
What can you expect
Mutual respect
The ants are marching to an fro
Along the same trail they go
Carrying leaves, twigs and crumbs of food they crave
Back to their underground cave
All night long they task
What more could their queen ask
A wonderful working society in harmony as one
Then gone
Four week is a short ant life to be lived
Onward through the soil they sift.
Birds, bees, worms, ants, wasps, insect of thousands of type and breed
What more could a garden need
© John Scott  Create an image from this poem.

Beneath the Apple Tree

In the wind or in the sea
Are you beneath the apple tree
In my dreams I'm there again
Living life without the pain

A part of me is scattered too
From that void reserved for you
Conker one and conker two
In a jar just me and you

In Niamh's eyes I see it all
From the tree the fruit will fall
Never landing, forever longer
With each new bud a little stronger

In the wind you have no fears
To compensate for all those years
Pause your peace for just one day
And help me chase the grief away

A long lost smile upon your face
You are in a better place
Your in the wind and in the sea
And beneath the apple tree

Autumn's Fall

There's a blizzard blowing in my brain.
Jack Frost has been again.
Overnight snow has fallen.
I know now he has been calling.

Frozen flakes on my windowpane
tell me Autumn has left again.
Crystals forming on the glass
whisper that season now has passed.

This means my friend is waiting
for me to arise and go skating.
Temperatures dropped so low
heralds ice over river flow.

Each season brings it's own joys.
Love the snow since we were boys.
No more conker games for us.
Must hurry, here comes my bus.

25/08 2016

Harbinger

In my new teevee show : Brian touché plays Toyo harada ! 

He,s an evil millionaire , he,s out to conker the world ! 

Imagine Charles Xavier as a bad guy .  He runs skools mostly 4 kids with 

Super powers ! A harbinger is sum boddy with a power !

Harada & stancheck & the visitor are omega harbinger ! 

Thay have multipul powers ! But most harbingers only have one power !

There's a girl named faith , she can fly ! Her room mate is a Japanese girl ,

She shoots lightning out of her hands ! Thay hang out with an invisible boy & 

Macfadden , don,t call him Gaylord ! And a black boy with super strength & 

A black girl with super strength . Macadden has a sonic scream power ! 

These kids are broken down into classes of five or six ! Win faith try's to run away

Or fly away , five or six harbingers chase her ketch her and bring her back !

Harada sends two girls hoo fly or levitate with a micheal Jackson lookalike with a 

Dazzler like power , and three others as a squad to bring people back. And then 

He messes with thair memories , and sends them back to skool ! But faith keeps 

Remembering , and harada keeps brain washing her! There's this other company

Called omen corp ! Thay can scan people with powers , and then duplicate the powers !
But so far , thay haven't bin aybul to scan harada yet ! ...
© John Hall  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member A Time For Change

Do you remember
Skipping with a rope..alone
Or catching 'jacks' with stones.
Do you recall
Tennis against an old brick wall
Or conker contests in the fall.
Did you chalk out hopscotch squares
Play make believe,games of dare
Hide and seek or touch and run
In a childhood wrapped in fun.
Is simplicity a thing of the past
Will life in a circle turn
Will common sense..return?

The Cut-Out-And-Keep Guide To Trees

the silver birch
it likes to hide
so as you search 
at eventide
you find it there with many friends
playing poker through the night

the common oak 
a wise old man
an aging folk 
since time began
grandfathers of the forest they
speak myth and folklore when they can

the sycamore
with helicopter seeds
sets out its store
among the weeds
then grows to be big and strong
from people’s picnics on which it feeds

the horse chestnut
is the conker tree
the children’s favourite
but too spikey 
until they are ready later on
and why kids were late home for tea

the yew
is old
and grew
so slow
its age is in millennia 
and battles from the archer’s bow

the hawthorn
its blossom white
and at dawn
as if it snowed all night
then all too soon the white has gone
a desperate case of bad stage fright

the conifer
fir, spruce and pine
a regular
likes mead and wine
to keep it warm in winter then
comes into homes at Christmas time

Love Thy Neighbour

My neighbour out searching for conkers
Is blessed with incredible honkers
But when she bends down
All the housewives frown
Where to look drives their husband bonkers!

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