Best Cert Poems
Carolyn Devonshire U.S.A. Poetess and Contest Sponsor. I Think She Does Both Well.
And here is one of the Great Voices in The History of American Popular Music to Amplify
that Thought...
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Mr. Nat King Cole.
LOVE ( Sung to the tune LOVE by Nat King Cole.)
L is for the LIFE you lead each day.
O is OFTEN for the words you say.
V is VERVE that you bring to the or-din-ary
E is EFFERVESCENCE- summing up your special story. and...
LOVE is something that is truly you.
LOVE is something that is warm and new.
LOVE will test-i-fy
that what you have, I can't deny
that LOVE resides right there in YOU.
L is for the LIGHT that burns in you.
O says OR-DIN-ARY words won't do.
V is for the VOICE that speaks in poetry
E is ELEGANCE in how you craft each word to be. and..
LOVE is something that resides in you.
LOVE is constantly so warm and new.
LOVE will cert-i-fy
that what you have, no one can buy
for LOVE is simply, truly YOU. ( All right, boys, hit it, yeah...)
L is LESSONS that you teach to me.
O is OFTEN what you let me see.
V are VIRTUES that I can't begin listing here.
E is ELAN that I can't resist, so let's be clear. that...
LOVE is just the word to say to you.
LOVE describes the way we think of you.
LOVE will ver-i-fy
that what you have, I can't deny, yes,
LOVE resides right there in YOU.
LOVE resides right there in YOU. ( one more time.)
LOVE resides right there in YOU!
It's twenty twenty there is a new threat
A virus with no cure as yet.
Its a pandemic, its all around.
An antibody needs to be found.
Globally politicians and proffesionals have aired.
A lockdowns required people are scared.
The advice that been given is very sound.
Stay at home save your pound.
No save lives is what it's about.
For goodness sake don't go out.
Thousands of people have sadly died.
More to come scientists confide.
No cure at present we must isolate
Joe public's lives are in a state
Schools being closed indefinitely.
What to do with the children, 'Help me!!'
Exercise daily but only once a day
The kids just want to go out and play
Daily shopping is frowned upon
All hand cleaner and toilet rolls have gone
People panic buying what's so wrong
Vulnerable people can't be out too long
Go to work if you can
Or work from home like I am
Stay at home with your family
Protect them from this uncertainty
The emergency services are doing us proud.
I hope you all clapped really loud
Community groups have stepped up too
They are here to help me and you.
So please everyone listen to the advice
Stay at home or throw the dice
It's not just you that will be hurt
It's others around you that's a cert.
take, take, who’s on the make? and do some
people have a vested stake?
now tax is surely a painless way, to right
whole countries and save the day,
if medals are struck as some time they may
in honour of those who have made the way,
and what will the legends and letters say
as Ireland and Greece go down the slide,
and Portugal's on a roller coaster ride, (doctors)
have made provision for this long haul way,
no more to boom! It’s bust, bust, bust, so the interest
pillow is a dead cert must! but have our saviours’ today,
managed to saddle still salvageable
economy's into a hundred years of H P paydays..?
© Joe Maverick 31-1-2011
for Carolyn Devonshire's (taxing times contest)
Arsenal first Friday, always start well
New signings too, will give Leicester hell
Arsenal easy, next,
Liverpool in the early game, a win at a canter
Watford offer up more presents than Santa
Arsenal easy, Liverpool canter, next,
Chelsea at the Bridge a cert to crush Burnley
Untouchable last season, this is money for free
Arsenal easy, Liverpool canter, Chelsea a cert, next,
Man City away win, there’s simply no reason
Why Brighton won’t be relegation fodder this season
Arsenal easy, Liverpool canter, Chelsea a cert, Man City away, next,
Spurs to cane Newcastle, big gap in class
Don’t think the magpies are gonna last
Arsenal easy, Liverpool canter, Chelsea a cert, Man City away, Spurs pure class, last,
Man United on fire, all glitz and glamour
Scoring for fun, gonna stuff the hammers
Arsenal easy, Liverpool canter, Chelsea a cert, Man City away, Spurs pure class, United on fire,
Fifty quid on a six-fold, what could possibly go wrong
.
.
Arsenal Nil Leicester 1
.
.
Damn
Bun the feds dem coming str8 from the lava ground
A young brother moving mad cause I brown
I hate the police force their all full if pricks
They had the audacity to call the authorities
Bun that dough cause I ant for one
For a place full of pig’s wit a badge & gun
To be kill you know or dash in jail
It’s definitely on sight if I catch him in the cell
Moving wit jaff cause I so certified
Wit a ankh around my neck I feel qualified
Searching my yard looking for the herbs
Try to live peacefully but always disturb
You’d love to see me receive 10
Than the cert poet from the hood talking the truth again
Fling the rotten speaker’s outta the estate
And when I finish draw for the blue & white tape
To tape of the scene of the slaughter
Still moving g’d from yam and water
I defo know that their fish indeed
Pat a brother down and grabbing my seed
And on the other hand without a 9 they can’t hurt none
But I promise if your black it ant really fun
KKK will string man str8 to the tree top
Black boydem bull licking the white fed
Yoo Jaff will create a storm
On any idiot in a black uniform
Cause I from Hackney see
Nuff boydem are shook of me
A young rebel on a warpath
And when I finish (they claim) it’s gonna end in a bloodbath
Of jakes moving outta east way, I told you already I’ve been real from day
Inspired by N.W.A. F*** The Police
What a hugging jollity and what jump delight
With "Golly! Everything!" deep in the night;
From hands-on packages---all there are---
Rippling ribbons fly out far!
Open that box, there; what've you got?
"All that I dreamed of, dreamed a lot!
Tickets and maps, yes! trips over sea!
Ah, and for you, dear, a present from me."
Grand, so, the shape, and firm, so, each part,
I know what it is, it's my new heart!
A bold one, a gold one, with a verse inside---
'May your life be integrity and your mind your pride.'
Certain it is, and yours cert, too;
That's why we're living, less won't do!
Giving and taking, glad to have won,
Bankers of honesty, hey! we have fun!
Now put on the coffee and light up a light;
We'll open a map into many a sight:
Vales little dreamt of, mounts never touched,
Trails just beginning, wonders half clutched;
Plateaus of promise waiting man's right---
Planet impassioned with traders' delight;
New dams awaiting, new cities, new farms,
Sparkways of business spreading out charms;
Thousands of earth-stars---Edison's eyes!---
Set to wide angles of night-wake surpeise!
Shipyards and airports humming Thought's strength;
Trainways and highways freighting grand length;
Tap-footed uptowns, where Top-Competence climbs
With Honor's dealings and Profit's chimes
(Ting! rings the money; cling! rings again!
Desires exchanging, happy are men);
Marble-halled fame and Bronze-palaced art,
Where boundless beauty drives the heart---
Logic's heart and good pulse of man,
United in his self-command!
To these we'll go, all these we'll see,
And mark the march of history;
Though Reason's torch flares up so high,
There's less of 'march' and more of 'fly'!
"Hey, down those lights." Why? What've you got?
"A new beginning of an ancient plot---
Some bubbly, bright, for the coming year,
And me, myself, right now, right here!"
Love now touches; kiss one, then kiss two!
Our true destination's a self-made brew.
A trip for tomorrow, a sip for today;
To have no sorrow we gladly pay!
Routing and planning, and shouting "To be!"
Sweet is the music rounding the tree.
"Yea!" to life's pleasure; "Hail!" to this dawn!
Worldly happiness, Christmas, go on!
What a hugging jollity and what jump delight
With "Golly! Everything!" deep in the night;
From hands-on packages---all there are---
Rippling ribbons fly out far!
Open that box, there; what've you got?
"All that I dreamed of, dreamed a lot!
Tickets and maps, yes! trips over sea!
Ah, and for you, dear, a present from me."
Grand, so, the shape, and firm, so, each part,
I know what it is, it's my new heart!
A bold one, a gold one, with a verse inside---
'May your life be integrity and your mind your pride.'
Certain it is, and yours cert, too;
That's why we're living, less won't do!
Giving and taking, glad to have won,
Bankers of honesty, hey! we have fun!
Now put on the coffee and light up a light;
We'll open a map into many a sight:
Vales little dreamt of, mounts never touched,
Trails just beginning, wonders half clutched;
Plateaus of promise waiting man's right---
Planet impassioned with traders' delight;
New dams awaiting, new cities, new farms,
Sparkways of business spreading out charms;
Thousands of earth-stars---Edison's eyes!---
Set to wide angles of night-wake surpeise!
Shipyards and airports humming Thought's strength;
Trainways and highways freighting grand length;
Tap-footed uptowns, where Top-Competence climbs
With Honor's dealings and Profit's chimes
(Ting! rings the money; cling! rings again!
Desires exchanging, happy are men);
Marble-halled fame and Bronze-palaced art,
Where boundless beauty drives the heart---
Logic's heart and good pulse of man,
United in his self-command!
To these we'll go, all these we'll see,
And mark the march of history;
Though Reason's torch flares up so high,
There's less of 'march' and more of 'fly'!
"Hey, down those lights." Why? What've you got?
"A new beginning of an ancient plot---
Some bubbly, bright, for the coming year,
And me, myself, right now, right here!"
Love now touches; kiss one, then kiss two!
Our true destination's a self-made brew.
A trip for tomorrow, a sip for today;
To have no sorrow we gladly pay!
Routing and planning, and shouting "To be!"
Sweet is the music rounding the tree.
"Yea!" to life's pleasure; "Hail!" to this dawn!
Worldly happiness, Christmas, go on!
reared on six shooters
pretending dead act again...
real life a dead cert.
© Harry J Horsman 2013
Freudian Slip --- Insight of Lip --- Dane Ann
Gravestone ---Heart- Mark ---Dane Ann
Gall --- Vexing Vixen --- Dane Ann
Happiness --- Bounteous Bliss ---Dane Ann
Hog Sty --- Power Pen --- Dane Ann
Indigent --- Penniless Pauper --- Dane Ann
Insistent --- Relentless Nagging ---Dane Ann
Jerring ---Heartless Heckler --- Dane Ann
Jovial --- Cheery Chirping --- Dane Ann
Sports Nuts --- Crunchy Food, Poetic Mood For All to Read --- Linda-Marie Bariana
Good Vibrations --- Ghostly Groove --- Catie Lindsey
Last Will and Testament --- Dead Bread ---Catie Lindsey
Fine Wine and Spirits --- Wink and Drink ---Catie Lindsey
Agreement --- Words Concurred --- Dane Ann
Argument --- Quite Quarrel --- Dane Ann
Banter --- Chat Wit --- Dane Ann
Care --- Need Heed --- Dane Ann
Conscience --- Scruple Snooper --- Dane Ann
Detective --- Fact Grinder --- Dane Ann
Ducking --- Waddle Quacking --- Dane Ann
Emotional --- Frazzle Dazzled --- Dane Ann
Ship Mate --- Toy Boat --- HG
Gravestone --- Dead Cert. --- Sean Kelly
Broadcaster --- American Female Newscaster --- Sean Kelly
Cold War --- Battle Against Swine Flu ---Sean Kelly
Silicon Valley --- Cleavage, After Breast Enhancement --- Sean Kelly
Hebrew --- Jewish Tea For Men Only --- Sean Kelly
Thigh High
Is it ok?
To wrap myself
Around your self
To oblige our need
Of being
Is it's ok?
To ride on waves of passionate bliss
To wrap my thighs around your masculine hips
To share the skin and breaths
That we decide are ours to share
Is it all good?
That our primal beats crash the walled harmony for which we race
Pounding as the dead cert
A shared smile devide across our space
Whilst all stands proud and pert
As
We make
Love
For all we are worth
Until our wall.... comes crashing down
So we may
Finally lay
Dishevelled within
Silk
Soft
Sheets
Daquayvious Sorey
Incredible story!
He went for the Tigers
Instead of the Tide.
But what more amazing
Than the yards he’ll be blazing:
His birth cert had room
For his name to reside!
This little piggy never came through
I come in for an interview,
Everything is pleasing,
Without explanation you leave the table.
And start to make a pizza?
I'm leaving you right now..
As I get in my car,
I see you run out to get me,
To late buddy, you went to far.
This little piggy wants hard work from you
I drive downtown for an open interview,
Few hundred wait,
Hostess attention is flaky,
The order of resumes is shaky
It's no mystery the turnout would be big,
The apology you give is a fib,
People been here two hours,
Those that just arrive,
Get their opportunities faster,
I'm already in negative dollars,
30 min before interview time,
It's announced group interviews will begin,
There's no way I'm coming again,
The manager ignores me as I ask a question,
This disrespect is getting very old fashion
Not worth it, I'm leaving, Before I beat someone I need a mellow distraction,
This little piggy isn't looking to keep me long,
I want this job for good,
But all workers I talk to
Say if offered a permanent position to take
They would
Some been here 8 years,
To this day,
Their Temp agency provides them pay
So much for business keeping employees in house,
No wonder so many employees want to bounce,
This little piggy doesn't care if I trust,
You tell me you want to hire me in the interview,
I get no call for a week,
You leave me a message,
Details I'm given are pretty weak,
There's some employment agency I have to call,
Why didn't you tell me this before,
Start dates already been stalled,
I take the initiative to call them and get tested,
High hopes this would be different were vested,
Everything is clear I'm supposed to start soon,
Get a message a week later I need a cert?
I get the cert,
I start the job,
They've got everyone here working 8 hours a week,
I should be the manager they seek,
Im quickly growing tired
Friday comes along and I'm fired.
I ask “whats the reason you say?”
“You've requested too many hours each day!”
So unemployment, long story short,
This collector is here to stay
Take a look inside,
Both dead and alive,
Simultaneously?
How can we measure it,
If something is living, yet finalised?
Propose a second proposal,
Preferably pick a second one,
Work, well that's force over distance,
Yet how can we measure success?
Power is work over time but
It can be just and injust
Who decides control, no not I
It must be him on the inside
Laughing, so can I actually look inside the box..
Like a fidgety penniless ant ready for work,
Yes yes I'm hungry,hungry strong as an ox
Paradoxically held back, retaining an astute smirk
I get it now, needing no quarrels
Acceptance.
It's the ways it's meant to be
If we find out truth we will pay schrodingers fury
Hypothesis: Not a chance of success.
Can I open, must I find out.
It will ruin me I'm told.
Accept the unacceptable
Heroes of the silver screen
Dancing amongst the bullets
Real life Dead cert.
© Harry J Horsman 2018
Many years ago in the mid-70s
music was my idol especially concerts
Glasgow's Apollo was my regular venue
loved night's there fabulous to be a cert
The Queen of Punk in these times
Siouxsie and the Banshees was a doll
so had to book when Siouxsie was due
really excited when gig was near my call
But on the day Siouxsie took a sore throat
so the concert canceled was a real blight
look to hear 'Happy House' being 'Spellbound'
'Hong Kong Garden' took me 'Into the Light'
On the night traveled up to be let down
the gig was off so drove back home
halfway home the car broke down
left alone in the wilds, need to phone
I saw a house way out on its own uphill
went and asked to phone my dad, please
so he came up the A77 but drove past me
stunned I was left to look up at the trees
Thankfully dad realized having missed me
turn around and found me waiting on roadside
so towed my dead car all the way home
that night in my thoughts did always abide
(This is a true tale when in my mid-20s when a canceled concert by my fav punk band 'Siouxsie and the Bashees' left me stranded in the wild country in the evening but rescue came to pick me up.)