Best Butt In Poems

I’m living in anticipation
With other cigarettes who are also growing impatient 
We’re waiting
Praying 
To be the next chosen one 
Now, the door opens and we’re soaked by the light of the sun
Screams of “PICK ME!, PICK ME!”
She plucks me from the bunch; I’ve never felt...

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Where Is Your Mind?

Where is your mind?
Is it way out there in the clouds of smoking cigarettes and cigars?
Is it way out there in the clouds of smoking marijuana?
Where is your mind?
Is it way out there in a stupor of drunkeness?
Is it way out there...

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...dedicated to Juvie


We are in each other's arms, and dancing...
the lights are low, and the music is soft.
You perfume is so delicate, like a fresh
spring rain. We are cheek to cheek,
and in another world. A man tries to
butt in, and I shoo him away... no...

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I went to my neighbors
To ask for a favor
And said may I borrow
Stuff I need tomorrow,
But she stopped me short
With this stunning retort:

“Do you need sugar cane
Drano for a clogged drain
Or perhaps some flour
Or did you lose power.”
I answered, “I just need…”
And she quickly agreed
Saying,...

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Whatcha gonna do if’n Famous Jameis goes pro?
‘tain’t nottin ya can do ‘bout it, Coach Jimbo
Dontcha know, da freshman Heisman winner’s caught da eye
Even da Giants’ Eli ain’t a-rankin’ too high

Butcha ya got ta give it ta dem dadgum referees
Dey even find ways ta yeller-flag...

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Ned was grandma's billy goat, 
The meanest goat in town; 
Every time you crossed his path, 
He'd try to butt you down!

Buddy was our neighbor, 
A twisted lil' teen; 
He always nagged that billy goat, 
For that's what made him mean!

Fate caught up to Buddy,...

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It's time to
Test the new
The latest in
Technology

No more need
To drink over a
Gallon of foul
Liquid or any

Sorts of pills
To sort through
In fact it's 
Almost

Like a drive thru
Butt in your own
Home butt it's
A bit more

Complicated with
Software butt
What's worse
Is the hard

Drive...

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Your skin glows like the kiwi, blossoms lethargic as the flower in the purest hope of spring.
My yearning heart rises to your banjo voice and leaps like a Oreo the dog at the whisper of your name.
The evening ascends in on a great calculator wing.
I...

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Here's a story, of a cheating con man.
Faithfulness, he does demand,
that's the way, hes got it planned.
He has her, eating from his hand.

He's a liar, and a cheat!
Gosh darn man, drives for weeks.
Never will be, hers to keep.
Better run girl! Its getting deep!


He's always gone,...

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The union shop decided to picket.
The union rep got a round trip ticket.
To meet with those upstairs.
And voice the workers cares.
Butt in the end, they told him to stick it....

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On the plane I meditated or at least I tried to.  Most of the time I get a seat to myself.  These days it’s just a ****ing Greyhound in the sky.  I am not the most handsome man and the tattoos don’t...

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(I said, "Linda, you really have stepped out!")

You told her she has to wear her clothes sometimes.
She was standing by her car.
As you sat in front of Dunkin’s Grocery, you eyed her with a smile.
She was the Minister’s wife and I am nobody.

Don’t you want...

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getting through to a teen,
is truly a task from hell;
a smack across the lips,
could land your butt in jail!

with heads thicker than concrete,
tell 'em left and they'll go right;
all we want is what's best for them,
why is it such a fight?!

a new day has risen,
parenting's...

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A teacher I will always be,
But sometimes cases aren't for me.
I can't butt in; it's not my place.
If so, someone would bust my face!

Some jerk parks in the fire lane spot,
Or cuts me off without a thought,
He should be taught a lesson, see.
It's not my...

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This foggy sky
darkly and relentlessly rains
especially for an early May morning.

He is not prepared for darkness
seeping through new-born leaves,
not yet full grown into this year's trunk-lacing dress,
soaking up from saturated soil,
slurping into his compassionately 
empathic zero-zen night
deep dark sensory flight.

Perhaps this open quality
endears him to...

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