Best Buckaroo Poems
I strolled through the local cemetery the other day
And here are some epitaphs I observed along the way:
Cletus O'Toole lies herein
Too much boozing done him in!
Here lies a gambler molding in his crypt
Odds are he was shot by a chump he had gyped!
His spouse spotted him leaving a house of ill repute
In short order she done him in during a heated dispute!
Clyde raced down the mountain and failed to swerve
Meeting his doom on an S-shaped curve!
His plea to the judge was ruled to be moot
He was sentenced to hang for fencing some loot!
Buckaroo Bob was throwed from his horse
And was buried with his boots on as a matter of course!
The town ruffian was our late friend Keith
He met his match and was interred sans his teeth!
Pilot Pete's final radio message was, "Oh! Shoot!"
Seems he forgot to don his parachute!
Farrier Fred was a premier cobbler as a general rule
Alas, he was kicked in the head by an unruly mule!
Butcher Bruce was expert at wielding his knife
But in a fatal spat he was out-wielded by his wife!
POTD 24 June 2021
Cowboyin' seems so romantical as seen in th' pitcher shows.
Ain't a lick uv truth in that as ever' workin' cowpoke knows.
Movie stars is paid big bucks with a fancy saddle fer thar horse,
An' always ride off into th' sunset with a purty gal, uv course!
Real cowpokes don't wear designer jeans er fancy rhinestone suits.
You can tell a real buckaroo by th' looks uv his scruffy boots!
He's rousted out uv his bunk at th' break uv day;
(Seems it wuz jes' an hour er so ago, since he'd hit th' hay!)
He ain't got no time to strum a git'tar an' croon to a purty gal.
You'll usually find him ropin' an' a-sweatin' in a hot corral.
More'n likely them big stars lunch on caviar at th' country club,
While a cowpuncher eats beans an' bacon fer his daily grub!
In them western movies, handsome dudes ride tall in th' saddle.
A cowpoke has bowlegs frum years ridin' his cayuse astraddle.
Stunt men are handy to take th' falls fer fragile movie stars,
But a cowboy has to rough it an' can prove it by his scars!
When day is done th' movie cowboy goes home to his plush chalet.
A workin' cowboy goes to his humble bunkhouse at th' end uv day.
Cowpokes wonder why they cowboy - it shore ain't fer th' pay,
But they'll keep on a-ropin' and a-ridin' til they're old an' gray!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)
I've got this awesome idea
To write the greatest of poems
It'll start out nice and easy
Then with a BANG make some noise
It will be widely read
In every coffeehouse in town
Soon to catch on like a wildfire
Then #1 with a bullet nation bound
Writing so amazing
It'll astound everyone
Why it might even get hired killers
To turn in their guns
It'll make the strong want to weep
And the weak to stand strong
There will be waves of applause
This poem will have it all going on
They'll beg me to let them use it
In a Presidential speech
Afterwards they'll fly it straight to the conflict
Where it'll bring peace to the Middle East
Finally coming to rest at the Smithsonian
Taking up it's rightful place
They may have to move that old Shuttle
To give my poem plenty of space
But before any of this can happen
Before it rings true, buckaroo
I suppose I should think up something special
And jot down a line, maybe two...
A cat sat on a buckaroo hat
A hat that was not a hat
but a Flying Fox bat,
A bat like a hat
that was not a bat
but a Spacecraft
from the planet Cobalt…
Can you just picture that?
This story is as simple as that,
A Spacecraft like a bat
Slick, smooth and flat
with a cockpit and all that
and a cat from the planet cobalt
in an outer space, as far as that…
There’s more to it than that.
While chasing an alien Rogue Rat
in and around the galaxy and all that,
Cat Cobalt in the outer space got lost
in the rat’s extraterrestrial habitat…
Now, what’s up with that?
Here and there, with this and that
From beyond yonder just like that
Poor Cat Cobalt on our Earth fell flat,
No ceremony and no welcoming mat…
Oh, who would ever want that?
To get back home this resilient cat
with one purpose alone and that’s that
He rebuilds the broken Spacecraft
with the help of one domestic cat
and goes back home to Planet Cobalt
Now no one knows where it’s at…
This ends the tale of the Cobalt cat!
~08/01/18
~"Cat Poems" contest by Tania Kitchin
Thar was once an old buckaroo named Hank,
Who was very absent-minded and lank.
He told his hoss to skedaddle,
Fergittin' to mount the saddle.
'Twas not the first time old Hank drew a blank!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
The Whittlers
The stately county courthouse was their usual meeting place,
a columned Greek Revival, and a lovely public space.
They sat upon their benches under lofty pecan trees,
wood shavings on their ankles and some cedar twixt their knees.
Those old boys were called the whittlers, but that was a disguise.
They came to talk of memories and hang out with the guys.
Born long before the TV went and addled peoples wits,
they could tell some stories that would cause your sides to split.
They'd kid me 'bout the pile of books that I had just checked out.
Said I was sure to ruin my eyes and fry my brain no doubt.
But I guess they got a kick out of their young devoted fan,
'cause they'd trot out all their stories and tell them all again.
There were stories of big ranches and oil boom shanty towns,
of work on rigs as roughnecks and touring rodeo clowns,
and how they used to ride the rails when no work could be found.
But the way they spun those stories had me rolling on the ground.
And in between a whittle and another spit and chew,
they showed me how to whet a knife and tie a buckaroo.
Though they had so many stories and lessons to impart,
I'd have to hear the cowboy code before I could depart.
"You give a man a good hard shake and look him in the eye.
If you mess up, tell it straight, never cover with a lie.
Always give a full day's work and live out each day with heart.
A man's no good without his word, so finish what you start.
Protect the weak and help them, and respect your elders, too.
Never leave a friend behind, nothing else will ever do.
And when your days on Earth are done, according to God's plan,
you can face up to the reaper, and meet him like a man.”
If that was all I learned from them, that lesson was enough.
For a kid without some guidance, this life can be quite tough.
Other folks made fun of them, and thought them no account.
For me they were the heroes I would trade for no amount.
The stately county courthouse still stands upon those grounds,
although now those shaded benches are nowhere to be found.
And where once the mighty whittlers carved and held their court,
the squirrels now gather up pecans and chase around for sport.
© December 28, 2013
Memories of a bookworm. Considerable poetic license taken.
Give me a "Home On The Range"
Where my granpa once roamed
Out on the lone prairie
From "Deep In The Heart Of Texas"
He cummed up the trail
Following the "Cowboys Dream"
All the way to "The Chisholm Trail"
There "At The Cowboys Dance"
He met "Sweet Betsy From Pike"
And danced with "The Buffalo Gals"
Early next morn he hit the saddle once more
Headed for "Cripple Creek"
"The Yellow Rose Of Texas"
And "San Antonio Rose"
He met on the "Streets Of Loredo"
In "Red River Valley"
He met that "Red River Gal"
Headed for the "Lone Star Trail"
This "Texas Cowboy"
Hit a new trail "Way Out In Idaho"
But when "Windy Bill" gave him a taste of
"Life In A Prairie Shack"
He jumped on "Old Paint" and did leave.
He headed north to "Dakota Land"
Where his last years he did spend
Proudly he'd boast "I'm An Old Cowhand"
And sits and tells them his tales.
Of the "Grand Roundup" as he rode "Wild Buckaroo"
When "Down In The Valley" he ranched.
But tears filled his gray eyes
As he told of "Little Joe The Wrangler"
On the "Trail Of The Lonesome Pine"
When "The Work's All Done This Fall"
"Git Along Little Doggies" he'll say
It's about time for the "Last Round-Up"
Which is the "Dying Cowboy's" dream.
Cile Beer
My sister had a small horse that no one else could ride
and anyone who mounted him soon had a skinned up hide.
It was haying time and Daddy took on some extra hands.
With brawn, brains didn’t matter much. A rancher understands.
One new hand started boasting of broncos he had ridden.
Bragging around my brothers should have been a thing forbidden.
It didn’t take them long to brand that young cowpoke a phony.
They hatched a plan to get him on my sister’s half-broke pony.
If a man bragged of his horse savvy, he’d better know his beans.
They’d all been breaking broncos since before they hit their teens.
That evening when Sis brought the cows, Buster was so mellow
my brothers knew it was the time to trick that boasting fellow.
They asked their prey if he would like to ride the little horse.
The horse was acting gentle so he took the bait of course.
My sis got off and he got on, or such was his intention.
Buster remembered all the tricks those lads forgot to mention.
He gave one buck and that cowpoke was hanging from his mane.
He almost had him shaken off when he came down again.
Then Buster noticed the barn door was opened just a skin.
He was wider than the opening but still he wanted in.
He made a mad dash forward, just a-heading for that crack.
He made it through, the buckaroo was skinned right off his back.
The fellow was a sorry sight a-lying in that muck.
He must have thought the world was done or a bolt of lightning struck.
Those rascals stood there laughing at the gent so mortified
then feeling sorry complimented him for his fine ride.
The moral of this story you don’t rate a horse by size
and misjudging one like Buster could get you a big surprise.
For Carol's "A Horse Story" contest Won 3rd
I flat out nailed my first interview
Young and dumb without a clue
Then hired on the spot, no lying
Nervousness was my only crime
When suddenly his questions stopped
Damn it man, our eyes locked
I stood up in fear, my hand out
Ready to go home and just pout
His words were "your hired"
"I like the way your wired"
He shook my hand withe ease
Then we talked about the leads
I then asked him for an advance
Five hundred bucks, a slim chance
So when I left that interview
Holding five hundred buckaroo
I felt I had conquered the world
I drove home to kiss my girl
Caught every single green light
First time for everything, right?
A SAGA OF OLD EL PASO
AND LADY B GOOD
There was a famous lady of El Paso in the Old West
She hunted and trapped, trading furs with the best
Her pride, her joy, a red velvet cape trimmed in fur so white
It seemed to glow with a gleaming unearthly light
You might think her name to be Snow White or Red Riding Hood
But she was known as Sweet Emmaline or Lady Be Good
Lady was famous in town for her mirrored honky tonk saloon
Which had a large sign saying Y'all Come Back Soon
There was even a piano player, with whom Lady often had a date
Who tickled the keys every night about a quarter to eight
But alas there rode into town one day a badass buckaroo
Upon his horse by the name of Big Blue
This hobnailed fellow looked to make an easy buck or two
He spotted the saloon and LadyBGood fixin' to go inspect traps
As it turned out it would be one of her very last acts
Lady and her dog Croesus had been an inseparable pair
But this day Croesus was off chasing squirrels somewhere
"I'll take your money and that fancy fur coat"
"Are you crazy little boy, you're not old enough to vote"
Quick as lightening Lady's Derringer came from her ****'s fold
But the cowpoke was quicker if truth be told
The buckaroo's nickel-plated pistol was pointed and My Didn't It Roar
Whereupon LadyBGood then unfortunately met the floor
The blood ran as red as her fur trimmed velvet cloak
And Sweet Emmaline drifted into a sleep from which she never awoke
EPILOGUE
Boot Hill in El Paso has only one Lady in it
Who made it her home when outdone in that grievous minute
She lies with her fur trimmed red velvet cloak and **** to match
Right next to the one who put her there … the Cowboy, Sam Hatch
Hey there Buckaroo
what’s your hurry?
Momma hollered after
her pride ‘n joy
she smiled swiftly
as little boots clomped
with spurs jingle janglin’
across the kitchen floor
“Aw Momma, don’t worry!
I’ll be home before dinner
but I drew the rank bronc
It’s a sure winner!”
Then whistling Lil Joe
and roping the cat
her boy mounted up
on his trusty hobby horse
“Don’t slam the door”
She said with a laugh
has the hinges rattled
& the old screen door crashed
He was already gone
riding silver screen dreams
that old grey black hat
setting low on his ears
Hey there Lil Buckaroo
Don’t be in such a hurry
Time passes quick enough
You still have stick ponies to curry
Too soon you’ll grow tall
& become a young man
chasing girls & fast cars
enjoy your childhood while you can
In a blink of an eye
or faster than that
you’ll no longer wear boots
toss a rope or wear that old hat
You’ll follow your own path
but where ever it leads
I hope you remember
Your Lil Buckaroo deeds
Hey Lil Buckaroo
slow down, what’s your hurry?
Don’t gallop too quickly
through these Buckaroo Days
© February 2003
Ponytails and blue jeans
Sat at Papaw's knee,
Watching as he whittled
On old branches from a tree.
And while he talked of cowboys
And big old Texas ranches,
He trimmed away the rough spots,
While I dreamed of pony dances.
A wild stick horse remuda
Began to run and play,
With every loving stroke,
As he peeled the bark away.
Using his "Old Timer"
And carving in my brand,
The best that he could find
And cut and shape with his own hand.
Now, each one of them was special,
And I felt I was too,
As they kicked up dust behind
This cowgirl buckaroo.
With reins of pink hair ribbon,
Shoe strings and baling twine,
There was "Buckin' Birch" and "Oakie,"
And "Ole Sticky" made of pine,
"Sassafras," and "Blackjack,"
"Willow," "Blaze," and "Scat,"
I never did corral 'em --
I just left 'em where they sat.
But next mornin', on the front porch,
'stead of roamin' wild and free,
They'd found their hitchin' rail,
‘cause Papaw lined 'em up for me.
Along our trails together
There were many lessons learned,
Like bein' a cowboy through and through
Is something that you earn
We'd partner up together,
And team up in cahoots,
Once he defied my Mama,
Bought me red cowboy boots.
And often, when I wondered
What to do on down the road,
He'd always tell me, "little girl,
When you get there you will know,"
Sometimes you have to let things go,
Sometimes you stand and fight,
And anything worth doin',
Is still worth doin' right.
With my wild stick horse remuda,
We rode the range for miles,
I knew I'd won my Papaw's heart
By the way he'd laugh and smile,
I still have his sweat-stained Stetson,
His boots, and his old knife,
Sometimes I take them out
Just to measure up my life.
And hold him closer to my heart,
And know I have to try,
To live up to the honor
Of the wonder-days gone by.
On my stick horse remuda,
I learned the cowboy way,
I’d give up everything I own
To ride with him today.
My wild stick horse remuda
Was quite the varied band,
Born and bred with me in mind
And trained by his own hand.
I’m longing for the legends,
And the way we used to roam,
With my wild stick horse remuda,
And the man that we called "Home."
You keep giving me titles for limericks, you do
The Sanctum of Sinsations is the latest from you
Appreciate the help
It's really heart felt
A bunch of thanks, my friendly buckaroo
© Jack Ellison 2015
The wind knows the rider before the horse does. Long before sunup, boots scuff barnwood and the rawhide creaks with memory. A buckaroo doesn’t announce himself… he just is. A silhouette stitched into the mesa’s edge, hat pulled low not in mystery, but in reverence. Out here, to be known is not to be seen, but to be trusted. The land doesn't care for noise, only for the kind of silence that speaks from the chest.
He moves like water, slow when he can, fast when he must… always listening. The cattle don’t flinch when he rides through, and that’s a kind of love, ain’t it? Unspoken, wide-eyed, mutual. There’s a gentleness to the way he loops the rope, as if he’s telling the steer, “I see you, I need you, I won’t hurt you.” Love, in the hands of a working man, looks like sweat and callus and quiet intention.
And the horse… the horse knows everything. He knows what the rider’s holding back. When the world falls off the edge of the plain and a man’s only company is his own breath, the horse still walks beside him like a brother that doesn’t ask questions. To be known is to be loved, and the horse loves him for who he ain’t trying to be.
So when the fire dims and stars poke their cold fingers through the sky, and the coffee’s gone bitter, he sits still. Ain’t got much to say. Ain’t much he needs to. The land knows him. The wind knows him. The old dog at his feet knows the rhythm of his sigh. And that’s enough. That’s everything.
Because out here, to be known is to be loved… and to be loved is to still be riding come morning
So you think you know just how us cowboys should behave
But listening to your jawing, I hear Chisholm spinning in his grave
A Cowboy who don’t drink or cuss, I’ll tell you that’s not right
Ain’t you heard of Old Whiskey Row, Where two cowboys got tight?
To go to tying knot’s in the Devil’s tail took more than lemonade
There’s been liquor on the bar in every movie John Wayne made
Back when Chisholm blazed the trail & cattle claimed the West
It was music round a campfire, as the hands settled for a rest
They’d often talk of home or sing a tune to pass the time
You’ve seen that in the movies, when it only cost a dime
They sang of Laredo, Lil Joe or maybe Annie Laurie
Right then & there you decided what a Cowboy ought to be
There are some things we might share with Hoppy, Roy & Gene
But real cowboys won’t ever be like those on the Disney scene
Any buckaroo can sure clean up sharp for a Saturday night dance
Even be persuaded to use pretty words when sparking a romance
We pick a little guitar and some can make that harmonica wail
But you’re just as apt to hear La Bamba as you are a song of the trail
Those cowboys that you talk of, all slick & squeaky clean
All pressed and starched, with proper speech, they ride a silver screen
You see that feller in the corner, all tattered & dusty, that’s the real McCoy
Battered old Stetson, mud & manure spackled jeans, a bonafide Cowboy
He might be rough around the edges and his language a bit coarse
But when he sets to working cattle, You swear he was born on a horse
We are only human after all; sometimes we just need to cut loose
Shoot out the lights, kiss all the ladies; drink our fair share of the booze
We still love our mommas and say grace with most meals
We just don’t handle being boxed, can’t stand the way it feels
Those who don’t tolerate a lot of rules choose the cowboy way
Much like this cowboy you see here before you today
I can see you are trying to sort this out in your head
For all you know of cowboys is what you’ve seen and read
I surely hope this little talk about cowboys made it all a bit clearer
The only one we answer to is the maker and the face in the mirror
I hate to burst your bubble, still you best here it from me
Cowboys can’t be pigeon holed; they must be wild & free
Catherine Lilbit Devine © September 19, 2005