Best Blunderbuss Poems
'Twas a dark and stormy night on that dark and stormy night!
HMS Blunderbuss plied the billowing seas just off the Isle of Wight!
Able Seaman Steer manned the helm when dead ahead he saw the light!
He woke the snoozing Officer of the Deck to apprise him of their plight!
Captain Ironbottom (who happened to be in the 'head') was duly alerted!
He dashed to the bridge in his drawers to ensure that disaster was averted!
"By jove!" he cried, "Her Majesty's ships turn aside for no one, I say!"
He grabbed the radio, "Ahoy there! Turn east 15 degrees! Out of my way!"
From out of the ozone a voice retorted, "Suggest you turn west 15 degrees!
I'll not change course for anyone, so heed my warning if you please!"
"This is Captain Ironbottom of the HMS Blunderbuss!" he thundered back!
"I know the rules of the road! Turn now or I'll see you hung from the rack!"
Able Seaman Steers' eyes grew as large as saucers knowing not what to do!
Communication between the captain and the mysterious light was turning blue!
As the distance narrowed between them, neither would give a nautical mile!
The white-knuckled Officer of the Deck was turning pale with a sickly smile!
"This is Captain Ironbottom again! Are you challenging Her Majesty's might?"
"Yes sir" was the reply, "You see, this is the light house on the Isle of Wight!"
Today the mighty HMS Blunderbuss rusts upon the Isle of Wight's rocky shoal.
Captain Ironbottom faded into oblivion due to the folly of his last patrol!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
blunderbuss, dark, funny, light,
Form:
Rhyme
"The Begin Again Beings"
A family of swords
the world under their feet
to all that is fallen in the
darkened passages beneath,
slipped on crushed pearls of tears
rivulets running down
a body of work pierced,
the milky powder swallowed
from the shells of wisdom,
much stronger than Bex,
a slither still remaining,
dulled the pain,
somewhat,
for a short while,
until it was fully consumed
and exhausted - then,
without warning,
the unstable ground
ripped, captured pages,
altered the blood let secrets
that seeped 6ft underground -
through the cracks,
one would postulate
that this was a doleful,
how to articulate?
there is only one way -
experience exsanguinate;
their charbroiled armour
now tarnished darker,
nourished the unseen seeds
of the Begin Again Beings
and their shoots shifted
from blunderbuss bullets
and cutting swords
pulled from stones,
to quills flourished
and bowing
to the never ending
silent war of roses;
breaking the surface rot,
growth was slowly seen
breaching up towards the Sun,
in the time of another’s
war strewn
journée poétique
Golden Trumpets
stood with Lilys-of-the-Fields
and Blue Lantana its
thistle down blown apart,
scattered and carried in waves
across the blue sky clouds,
to propagate and adorn
the thorny crowns
of black ravens
sitting on the shoulders
of their beloved
scarecrow masters,
their heraldry requiring
blood and the water
to dissolve their
steadfast blindfolds,
to clearly see as doves,
the beautiful great mystery
of the forgotten ones,
standing their ground
triumphant, never left,
never leaving,
bathed for all time
in the Sun
this is "1" story
of The Begin Again Beings
and how their well-fought for kingdom
was won
(LadyLabyrinth / 2023)
Categories:
blunderbuss, journey, muse, strength,
Form:
Narrative
Written August 22, 2012
When I can squalor victorious
It's when I'll say
That I'm a ruthless young hooligan
Just for today
Here in the bedroom
Crime pours out in the evergreen
Bombarding on the beauty scene
Oh are you with me?
Charisma kills politically
Now and then it comes for me
Visionaries comfort thee
Coast to coast from sea to sea
Here in the bedroom
Colors flow across the morning sky
So beautiful I want to cry
Oh are you with me?
When I claim it in the name of us
It's when I'll say
That I'm as wild as a blunderbuss
Just for today
Categories:
blunderbuss, beauty, friendship, love, passion,
Form:
Lyric
"A Recipe for Antonym"
the opposite of
didactic
ulterior motive
Elastic,
bend over for receiving
patronising missives
presumptuous, friendly and deadly
with lol and smiles
then genuflect
then somersault backwards
it’s part of the ceremony
in the soupy wash
Socratic passive is us
plastic, pernicous, piquant and plural
sipped slowly and loyally steadfast
scratching backs towards the shadows
of whispered never me's (sic)
to mirrors gushing sibilant soliloquy
the opposite of lost is now moving in
with a bent halo
and sewn off blunderbuss
inscribed on the handle
I’m sure glad I'm not one of you us
(LadyLabyrinth / 2020)
"Twice" / Little Dragon
https://youtu.be/TrpMncSZe-I
Categories:
blunderbuss, abuse, bullying, dark,
Form:
Free verse
There was a young man who got mad at us
He started to fume and to fuss and cuss
He said as he sighed
We had definitely lied
When we called his butt a blunderbuss
We surmised he was somewhat in a rut
A dufus, a jerk, anti social, cyber nut
We said with a grin
As we reeled him in
Not Blunder”buss” but a blunderbutt
He said why do you make fun of it
Why laugh and make jokes lacking wit
You know very well
A tale is a tale
A blunderbutt has no where to sit
© Mar 03 2010 Charles Henderson
Categories:
blunderbuss, funny
Form:
Limerick
I have walked long in the garden
And gathered jasmines for Juliet.
So easy. So easy.
I have gathered jasmines for Cressida
But she looked away, burst the door
In my face that my eyes to this day
Keep the sea on her name.
I have gathered jasmines for Matilda
She laughed, wined me on a promise
That at the last syllable of my lyre
Melt into swears of steel.
I have gathered. I have gathered. Wrecks.
Wreck. I am. Alone, an abstracted distance,
Memorial to contusion in winter's blunderbuss.
Categories:
blunderbuss, loss
Form:
Free verse
Methinks my happy light must be defective
Gave it a good shot but it sure don't seem effective
Same moody old cuss
Hide ye ole blunderbuss
Could do himself harm though I'm no detective
Categories:
blunderbuss, fun,
Form:
Limerick
Locked firm in place in desolate space so devoid of grace
Sire, looked grim, he was gone without a trace
Earth glistens from heaven's view so high
Like a blue sapphire it shines to open portals when we die
She calls in melancholy overtones up to him, 'spare us!'
'Spare me!' he replies, the spark, blunderbuss erupts
Powerful protection but without due reflection it denies
'Serendipity and karma', her tears tiny salty outcries
Cimmerian dreams and wrong deeds have plastered
A photo so disenchanted, time to make it remastered
Liverpool, Ashtabula, Argyle-socks in winter chill
Life renewed for her and he with such vibrant thrill
Will he be denied again is vibrating universally
Resounding answer in negative signs catastrophically
May he be within the light he who shall never die
May he be within the right he who shall not lie
The rock is a desolate space, inside we must chisel
With the master's hand the raw stone and drizzle
Love with the temperance of hate to craft
The Lord's masterpiece, his spiritual raft
Until we too see the sapphire's gleam
Categories:
blunderbuss, death, fear, loss, places,
Form:
Rhyme
Sail soil sad bad
bottle bunker underground
blunderbuss driving round a toy circuit
in a bassement of broken dreams and nightmares
square man dancing round a plate of purpleshoes
abstract subtract react detach
Categories:
blunderbuss, anger, confusion, dream, loneliness,
Form:
Do you think the tickling of the second hand on a clock is in vein.
The disparity between you and i is dilated.
My impecuniousity does not mean am worthless.
You touchered me when i needed caring most .l'll rise
Snowy or drought.i'll rise
The tintinabulation of the blunderbuss shudders the vulnerable.
They plan to put me in an utopia.
Blood spilling like waterfalls.
Beating humans to resemble the slaughtering of sheeps.
Starvation seizing my hunger and luxury.
Weeping bitter biles of anger.
Sleeping with my mind frozen with thoughts.
Body full of pot holes and strips of blood.
Tears been dried by agony and pain.
The screaming of pain is echoed at last end of the earth.
The animal kingdom were very curious to know the vain of the scream.
Yet,the villain can not get any sense out.
Cos,the ossicles of their ear is broken.
Dilating from the villains act is to disintegrate their skull to get rid of the wickedness in there.
They invited an utopian to assist them on how to eliminate me.
Beating humans impeccably.
My xenophobic heart won't eradicate until the villain forfeit greatly and taste the bitter biles of their actions.
Their plan are to no aveal,cos the survivor will rise like the sun,grow like the trees and be known like stars.
Categories:
blunderbuss, abortion, absence, adventure, africa,
Form:
Epic
On Taddie Clyde the Barnsley broke,
In gumboot made of tin.
We cast the hour that gently stroke
And all who sail within.
Through faulty eyeballs thick with sleep
We watch the mackerel crow,
And gather up the blunderbuss
In rain or frozen snow.
Bad apple from an orchard grew,
Its Clinton hung like grapes
And dangled from our Derek’s thumb
To shally-up the stakes.
His dream lived as an aftertaste,
Its wistful hands reside,
Breaks silent on some other shore
And mourns the ebbless tide.
Categories:
blunderbuss, nonsense,
Form:
Rhyme
Former CIA Director
John Brennan scathing headlines
Washington Post op-ed sharply
published critical accusations
muted excoriation slams
Commander in Chief
volcanic blatant pathological lying
spews like lava his American
foreign policy boilerplate brazenly
bastardizes by banditry blueprint,
balefully balkanizing beautiful bracketed
booming brady bunch brand,
bests best-buy buffer braking balanced
bastion, bolstered beloved benighted
bequeathed bicameral bipartisan bliss,
Baptizing bacchanalian buffoonish bombast,
betokening bobble-headed Bumstead,
barmy bartered bride bravado, bizarrely
brash brassiness, blindsiding behavior,
beetlebrowed bonehead, bafflingly baldfaced,
bankrupting, blithely bollixing,
bombastically belittling, badmouthing,
banally blasting, banana-boat baseless,
bearish blandishments, beastly boastful
boosterism, bellicosely boorish, bug-eyed,
bighearted, bigoted blathering breeding
blunderbuss bloopers, bewildering
bloodletting bellyache blight,
brazenly being bandying bellwether,
blitzing bourgeoisie balderdash,
balking but beaming barbaric
berserk ballyhoo backbiting,
backslapping backstabbing
blacklisting bromides,
besetting basic bestowed blooming,
Bobbitizing bedeviling beneficial
bulwark bereft badinage, ballistically ballooning
betrayal birthing bedlam.
Categories:
blunderbuss, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Light Verse
A Whimsical Trope
Life is a circus
Of acrobats and clowns;
Everywhere there's a scammer
Ready to take advantage.
Humpty Dumpty was clumsy,
Rather dull, and not very bright.
He never knew right-side up
From wrong-side down,
And so he became a criminal.
Bring the blunderbuss
And bring the handcuffs.
Today, we make the bust
And arrest Humpty Dumpty,
And that’s no guff.
And so we said goodbye
When he took flight.
Nevertheless, whatever we think,
Wherever the yegg,
Humpty Dumpty is scrambled egg.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;
Humpty Dumpty laughed and fell.
Everyone there offered prayers and things,
But no one could put him together again.
Categories:
blunderbuss, humor, perspective, satire,
Form:
Verse
I tell a dangerous lie
I love you,
Without you I'll die
I tell a glanderous lie
Life is meaningless without love
Death is sighing cry
I tell a blunderbuss lie
I believe myself within You
Belief is practical sigh
I tell a slanderous lie
Human I’m, better creation on earth
Bestial nature is my pie
I tell a blooper lie
Devil of hell is nowhere
Nasty mind lives everywhere as high
I tell something more than lie
That’s truth in the crowded opinion
Believers discriminate but belief has no eye
© Mahtab Bangalee
26 January, 2022
Chattogram
Categories:
blunderbuss, humanity, nature,
Form:
Free verse
Thundering Blunderbuss!
What is a platypus?
Looks like a beaver, but
Has a duck's bill.
Fairly cute little guy,
Ornithorhynchidae*
Lives in Australia, is
On the no-kill.
Semi-aquatic and
Strangely neurotic, it
Lays eggs like birds and has
Venom like snakes.
Weirdly amphibious,
Bio-fluorescent fur
Webbing between the toes,
Strong swimmers make.
————
Technically, this is a Didactic Double Dactyl
since it’s full of educational goodies too.
A double dactyl is a form of McWhirtle, but
apparently, it is also a form of black death.
Switching to the McWhirtle on a hunch, lol.
*6 syllables, rhymes with ‘guy’ (like or-ni-tho-rin-ke-die)
Categories:
blunderbuss, animal,
Form:
McWhirtle