Ahoy There - Out of My Way

'Twas a dark and stormy night on that dark and stormy night!
HMS Blunderbuss plied the billowing seas just off the Isle of Wight!
Able Seaman Steer manned the helm when dead ahead he saw the light!
He woke the snoozing Officer of the Deck to apprise him of their plight!

Captain Ironbottom (who happened to be in the 'head') was duly alerted!
He dashed to the bridge in his drawers to ensure that disaster was averted!
"By jove!" he cried, "Her Majesty's ships turn aside for no one, I say!"
He grabbed the radio, "Ahoy there! Turn east 15 degrees! Out of my way!"

From out of the ozone a voice retorted, "Suggest you turn west 15 degrees!
I'll not change course for anyone, so heed my warning if you please!"
"This is Captain Ironbottom of the HMS Blunderbuss!" he thundered back!
"I know the rules of the road! Turn now or I'll see you hung from the rack!"

Able Seaman Steers' eyes grew as large as saucers knowing not what to do!
Communication between the captain and the mysterious light was turning blue!
As the distance narrowed between them, neither would give a nautical mile!
The white-knuckled Officer of the Deck was turning pale with a sickly smile!

"This is Captain Ironbottom again!  Are you challenging Her Majesty's might?"
"Yes sir" was the reply, "You see, this is the light house on the Isle of Wight!"
Today the mighty HMS Blunderbuss rusts upon the Isle of Wight's rocky shoal.
Captain Ironbottom faded into oblivion due to the folly of his last patrol!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Eastman Avatar
October 24, 2015 at 12:17 PM
A great piece describing a few men I've known... LOL... Fun read but expected nothing less from one of our great masters. Congrats on the win...
Leiser Avatar
October 23, 2015 at 5:37 PM
Your poem was very entertaining to read, Robert! You spin a good yarn, and with humor, too! Congrats on your well deserved win :)
A. Sharma Avatar
October 23, 2015 at 2:57 AM
Congrats on ur wonderful win with this superb write Robert!
Guzzi Avatar
October 22, 2015 at 8:18 PM
Congrad's on your win a great sea story! Miss you Bob!Light & Love
T  Avatar
October 22, 2015 at 6:46 PM
Thank you. CT
A   Avatar
July 14, 2015 at 2:13 AM
Hello Bob H Congrats on Carol's story, poem CONTEST. Always ~~ LINDA ~~
A  Avatar
July 14, 2015 at 12:28 AM
BOB H.,, Congratulations on your awesome story win. Love SKAT
Allison Avatar
July 13, 2015 at 2:41 PM
Great humour in your story congrats Robert on your win:-) hugs Jan xx
Brumley Avatar
June 5, 2011 at 3:06 PM
Now that's just too funny! I think I'd slip into oblivion too, or change my name and state of residence:) As Popeye would say,"How embarasking!"
Brown Avatar
June 3, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved win in Poet Destroyer's contest Bob. Love, Carol
Richards Avatar
June 3, 2011 at 8:05 AM
Hoorah for you, Robert!! So glad I caught this funny poem, hadn't seen it before, but one to remember!!
A  Avatar
June 3, 2011 at 6:07 AM
congrats on your excellent entry into the contest Luv*Skat
Mehta Avatar
June 3, 2011 at 6:04 AM
My congratulations on the win in the contest of p.d., Bob
A   Avatar
June 2, 2011 at 9:52 PM
Robert, ~ CONGRATULATIONS!! In my contest, and thanks for always supporting my contest. I had a great time reading and judging every entry in my contest. Thanks for being among all my chosen winners. have a great one,.. Poet D.
Sweetheart Avatar
June 2, 2011 at 9:29 PM
Congrats Bob on your marvelous win with this funny write .. another King of humor as I just dubbed Ralph .. u two are the best ..luv..
Taylor Avatar
June 2, 2011 at 8:58 PM
Hey Sarge, quite a humorous piece. Congrats on a well written, well deserved win, my friend. Great job. Thanks for your kind words. Have a super weekend. Kudos. Ralphie
Villanueva Avatar
June 2, 2011 at 7:36 PM
CONGRATULATIONS !!! On your win,...so funny ..makes me laugh out loud...thumbs up.... ^_^ ***junjun
Coulstock Avatar
May 1, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Hi Robert-loved this,so did my husband.You didn't just raise a smile but a good old belly laugh from us both.I would like it as one of my favourites so that I can read it whenever I need cheering up.Thank you.Love June(sylvia)
Dietrich Avatar
April 29, 2011 at 11:28 PM
oh, my , what a tale, bob. you are just full of them!!!
Taylor Avatar
April 28, 2011 at 7:36 AM
Hilarious tale, Sarge. LOL. Delightful piece. Enjoyed. Ralphie
Neels Avatar
April 27, 2011 at 1:39 PM
Hey again Bob, you sure were right ;) this one had me laughing out loud ;) thank you for the heads up on it! It is almost 11pm here ;) nice way to end my day
Devonshire Avatar
April 25, 2011 at 10:04 AM
Glad Captain Ironbottom "faded into oblivion," Bob. I laughed again reading this one the second time. You picked a great name for the ship as well as the pilot, "Seaman Steer." Great satire, my friend! Love, Carolyn
Song Avatar
April 24, 2011 at 1:56 PM
Ayeeee. Matey! This was from your befuddled skull?....You should go work for a news agency fabricating fake historical events into real news!! This is masterful, Capt'n Hinshaw! Hope the Easter Bunny kept Chocolate Away from you!...chocolate is a four letter word in our home!
Song Avatar
April 24, 2011 at 5:41 AM
Super nice story-poem! You should be a short story writer!! Hope u are havin a great Easter with your family! Can't wait to reveal my next contest! Gwendolen
Foulk Avatar
April 23, 2011 at 7:34 PM
Bob this was a great piece you wrote, enjoyed it. you are right today it has to be about sex and more sex or people won't laugh, but there are family type clubs you could lean your stuff to, christian TV also could use your style of comedy, you do have a gift for comedy writing and i really enjoy reading it. thank you for reading and commenting on Quite Little Child. So your Great Grandson is named Brandon, a great name yuh.
12
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace