Best Berle Poems

What I’d give to wake in the morning and hear those church bells ring
To turn on my old black and white and hear Gene Autry...

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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. ~ Milton Berle

I needed a job-money and more,          ...

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Remembering TV of the 1950s

By Elton Camp

About TV, this little account is told
From when I was twelve years old
Because it was along about then
When TV...

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 Continued from Part 1 

Matt Dillon chases Jack LaLane
Around a roller derby lane
I think I need some more cocaine,
So please don’t ever come back...

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The Keystone Cops were funny,
Chaplain, Keaton, Lloyd, and Fields too.
Laurel and Hardy, and Will Rodgers,
Were just some of the names we knew.


Who can forget the...

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Moshe, Larry, Curly,
Howls, cries, nyuks;
Three silly comic stars:
Smile, clown -- Cluck!

Chico, Harpo, Benny, Berle,
Moron grins, happy chins;
Crazy nutty comic kooks:
Funny jokes -- egads zooks! ...

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The Keystone Cops were funny
Chaplin, Keaton, and Fields too.
Laurel & Hardy and Will Rogers
were some of the names we knew.

Who can forget the Stooges
or all...

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Someone once said, 

        "If opportunity doesn't knock, 
         build...

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Berle said, “sex with wifey at 84 is terrific”
Especially the one in the winter to be more specific
That's downright silly
6 times yearly, me and my...

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Before they used computer chips

and printed circuits too,

TVs worked with different parts

like capacitors and tubes.


Our neighbor was a repairman

and he was quite adept,

he'd given me...

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Gone are the days of poodle skirts and bobbie socks,
classic cars and music that rocks.

The Ed Sullivan show and Elvis Presley’s gyrating hips,
guys racing their...

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Milton Berle said, “sex with wifey at 84 is terrific”
Especially the one in the winter to be specific
That's downright silly
4 times a year, me and...

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He decided that the only way to get to her
was to take a little stroll,
It gave him time to work on his line
and he wanted...

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'If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door' 
                 ...

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Milton Berle said, “sex at 84 is terrific”
“Especially the one in the winter to be specific”
That's downright silly
4 times a year, me and my filly
A...

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