Best Beaver Poems
Out in the woods Trump took a nap
Under an oak dripping of sap
pants to his knees
what a big sleaze
Fresh beaver still caught in his trap
*I do not endorse this message and no actual
beavers were hurt in this poem
Categories:
beaver, for her,
Form:
Limerick
Beaverish, feverish
hot Mrs. Cleaver wished
that her affair had not
given her clap.
Fast Eddie Haskell, her
boy-toy, that rascal, his
transmissibility
claims were all crap.
“Tickle me, pickle me,
say it’s not true, for if
you have the clap then I
must have it too!”
Doctors prescribed her some
anti-microbials,
Ward soon found out that she
had been untrue.
Beaver was curious,
Ward was so furious,
fake news of Eddie’s lewd
films made him snap.
“June, you’re so sensible,
incomprehensible,
that you could fall for that
con-artist’s crap!”
Friskiness, riskiness,
ratings were rising, but
not so surprising they
cancelled the show.
Frightened by content too
radiological,
sponsors said “Beaver” was
not apropos.
Categories:
beaver, family, humorous,
Form:
Double Dactyl
The beavers love rain.
They love water so much they
keep it where it fell.
Categories:
beaver, rain,
Form:
Haiku
Both fell in love with Beaver Isle
A plot was bought close to the lake
Their house was built in rustic style
This house a home they planned to make.
A plot was bought close to the lake
With a clear view and facing East
So eyes on amber dawns could feast.
Their house was built in rustic style
With rugged charm, simple décor…
One more surprise they had in store.
This house a home they planned to make
That would not be pie in the sky:
Hush ~ I can hear a baby’s cry!
Categories:
beaver, dream, home,
Form:
Rhyme
leaves under white ice
moonlight’s shimmering jewels~
beaver tail swollen
Categories:
beaver, animal, environment, moon, nature,
Form:
Haiku
A little beaver
Possessed to harvest timber
The teeth razor-sharp
Does he think about his toil
His hut, design or instinct
Edward J Ebbs - March 8, 2015
Categories:
beaver, nature,
Form:
Tanka
River of woe—Joy
shall dam up your flood of tears
with bright beams of mirth!
Categories:
beaver, depression, grief, happiness, hope,
Form:
Haiku
Betty Boop’s Beaver
The brazen Billy Bailey,
could be such a bad bad boy.
One day he bopped a beaver
who was busy working by the bay.
The beaver then bit Billy
near the bottom of his butt.
The beaver’s big bright teeth,
left a big bright bleeding cut
Then poor bawling Billy Bailey,
was bouncing by the bay
Just as beautiful Betty Boop
was passing by his way
She said “It’s best not to bop beavers,
be a gentle boy instead.
Drop by my boudoir later
You can caress my beaver in my bed.”
December 12th 2020
For Eve Roper’s Alliteration contest
Categories:
beaver, animal, giggle,
Form:
Alliteration
Beaver dam breaks slowly,
Abandoned but still there,
On a bare riverbed,
On a river that was once there.
Categories:
beaver,
Form:
Free verse
The Canadian beaver
Is not who you think he is,
He's not as gentle, as people think
He'd stand at your feet and take a whiz.
You might think he's cute
And he's all that,
But trust me, he's a terror
He'd smack you with his tail on your back.
Try not to turn
A blind eye to him,
Keep yourself on guard
When the lights grow dim.
Sure, he might look
Innocent enough,
He walks with a sneer look
Don't put up with his guff.
Never turn your back to him
You'll regret it, if you do,
He'll club you over the head with a stick
Maybe even a baseball bat too.
Copyright Cynthia Jones
May.31/2005
Categories:
beaver, art, , cute,
Form:
Light Verse
If I should come upon a beaver,
I would be inclined to leave her,
There, busily working on her dam.
Because I've seen her cut a tree,
And if I make her mad at me,
I might wind up much shorter than I am.
Categories:
beaver, animals, children, funny,
Form:
"Eh? Sigourney's Beaver?"
Grandad's hard of hearing
"Weaver, Grandad, Weaver"
Deafness. How endearing.
Categories:
beaver, age, celebrity, confusion, family,
Form:
Quatrain
Julius Caesar Ate My Beaver
(A Legionaire's Lament)
By Roy Merritt
Julius Caesar ate my beaver
After travelin’ through our camp
He came over one dark evening
Carrying a beaver lamp
And he snatched him up and took him off
And I heard later in time
He sat down at his dinner table
And on my beaver dined
And it cut me through and through
Yeah it cut me to the bone
And that’s why I’m sittin’ here
And ah singin' this sad song
And it's hard gettin’ over the sorrow
I ain’t got over it yet
And that son of a gun Julius Caesar
He owed me a big fat debt
So I got in touch with Cassius
And Brutus his good friend
And we all conspired together
To do that pushy Caesar in
And come the Ides March
In the Senate we soon met
We cornered that son of gun
And got him for killin’ my pet
We all plunged in our daggers
And Brutus was particularly calm
And it shocked old Julius Caesar
Cos’ he’d been sleepin’ with him mom
Now Cassius though lean and hungry
He wasted no time at all
He was one of our ring leaders
Intent to make Julius fall
Politics don’t you know
Was what motivated all them
But as far as me when he ate my beaver
It was like eatin’ my kin
I did it for revenge,
Revenge from me it poured
And unlike my co-conspirators
I fell not on my sword
Categories:
beaver, history, humor, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
A young lad masquerading as an old geezer
Looking for a lady who owns a mature beaver
One with mucho bucks
Still able to cluck
And willing to take pity on a geezer still eager
Categories:
beaver, fun,
Form:
Limerick
The Beaver
Wally Wally Wally
just look at how you've aged.
You've come a long long way
from back when Beaver raged.
It seems that you have done real well
the whole world's proud of you.
I posted your picture
it done better than my poems do.
Everybody knew your name
their temperature stated to rise.
All the ladies seemed to love
just looking in your eyes.
Likes were coming off the charts
while my poems remained hid.
Today you hurt me way more
than the Beaver ever did.
So I devised a plan
to put my poems on track.
I'm posting your pictures
to get my people back.
I hope it's not a bother
and I hope that you don't mind.
If you should stumble on my page
and it's your face that you find.
I hope that you found true love
and I hope you never leave her.
As I sit here alone
watching re-runs of the beaver.
Edwin C Hofert
Categories:
beaver, funny, growing up, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme