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Julius Caesar Ate My Beaver

Julius Caesar Ate My Beaver
(A Legionaire's Lament)
By Roy Merritt

Julius Caesar ate my beaver
After travelin’ through our camp
He came over one dark evening
Carrying a beaver lamp

And he snatched him up and took him off
And I heard later in time
He sat down at his dinner table
And on my beaver dined

And it cut me through and through
Yeah it cut me to the bone
And that’s why I’m sittin’ here 
And ah singin' this sad song

And it's hard gettin’ over the sorrow
I ain’t got over it yet
And that son of a gun Julius Caesar
He owed me a big fat debt

So I got in touch with Cassius 
And Brutus his good friend
And we all conspired together
To do that pushy Caesar in

And come the Ides March 
In the Senate we soon met
We cornered that son of gun
And got him for killin’ my pet   

We all plunged in our daggers
And Brutus was particularly calm
And it shocked old Julius Caesar
Cos’ he’d been sleepin’ with him mom

Now Cassius though lean and hungry
He wasted no time at all
He was one of our ring leaders 
Intent to make Julius fall

Politics don’t you know
Was what motivated all them
But as far as me when he ate my beaver 
It was like eatin’ my kin

I did it for revenge, 
Revenge from me it poured
And unlike my co-conspirators 
I fell not on my sword

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 11/30/2016 5:14:00 PM
This was clever and very funny. What a picture it creates in my mind. Nicely done Roy
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Merritt Avatar
Roy Merritt
Date: 11/30/2016 10:14:00 PM
Thank you Chris. Sorry for the delay in expressing my appreciation for you estimation of this. I thought I had replied but it didn't take guess.
Merritt Avatar
Roy Merritt
Date: 11/30/2016 10:02:00 PM
Thank you Chris. Sorry for the delay in expressing my appreciation for you estimation of this. I thought I had replied but evidently it didn't take or old age is catching up with me. Again my thanks.
Date: 11/30/2016 4:52:00 PM
hilarious! hugs jan xx
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Roy Merritt
Date: 11/30/2016 5:29:00 PM
Thanks much Jan I'm glad you found it funny and maybe lightened your day a bit. BTW Allison is my middle name.
Date: 11/30/2016 4:50:00 PM
:: laughing :: Excellent, Roy!
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Vinson Avatar
Doug Vinson
Date: 11/30/2016 8:39:00 PM
Only been on PoetrySoup for 18 days, Roy, so I ain't all high-falutin' or anything. ; ) Even though your poem deals with death, there is such a sense of good humor throughout that you just gotta love it.
Merritt Avatar
Roy Merritt
Date: 11/30/2016 5:31:00 PM
Thank you Doug I'm impressed that you like it being aware of your status as one of the most appreciated poets on this site.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things