Eric Cohen Poet Double Dactyl

Notes About The Poem

Submitted January 7, 2021 for the “Double Dactyl (Win For Paid Membership) Poetry Contest” sponsored by William Kekaula. First Place.

Leave It To Beaver: the Last Episode

Beaverish, feverish
hot Mrs. Cleaver wished
that her affair had not
given her clap. 

Fast Eddie Haskell, her
boy-toy, that rascal, his 
transmissibility
claims were all crap.

“Tickle me, pickle me,
say it’s not true, for if
you have the clap then I
must have it too!”

Doctors prescribed her some
anti-microbials,
Ward soon found out that she
had been untrue.

Beaver was curious,
Ward was so furious,
fake news of Eddie’s lewd
films made him snap.

“June, you’re so sensible,
incomprehensible,
that you could fall for that
con-artist’s crap!”

Friskiness, riskiness,
ratings were rising, but
not so surprising they
cancelled the show.

Frightened by content too
radiological,
sponsors said “Beaver” was 
not apropos.

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John Watt January 25, 2022 at 1:57 PM Eric, belated kudos to you for your top win for this amazingly constructed, incredibly funny entry, made all the more humorous by knowing how clean-cut and straight-laced those 50's and 60's TV shows were. Eddie Haskell was perhaps the prototype of the 60's youth movement with his predisposition to raise hell buried beneath his "you look lovely today, Mrs Cleaver... is Wallace home?" veneer. Well done, going in my faves. Eric Cohen January 25, 2022 at 8:26 PM Thanks, John. This form is difficult, at least for me, but I had a lot of fun with it. Couldn't think of a way to get Wally and Lumpy into the picture, though.

Jan Allison March 6, 2021 at 4:59 PM omg this is SO hilarious I have tears of laughter, many congrats on your win Eric, Im adding this to my faves:-) hugs Jan x Eric Cohen March 6, 2021 at 8:55 PM Thanks so much, Jan. Glad you stopped by and enjoyed this one. Fan of yours, by the way. ~Eric

Paghunda Zahid March 6, 2021 at 8:39 AM Congratulations on your win Eric Cohen March 6, 2021 at 3:03 PM Thank you, Paghunda.

Suzette Richards March 5, 2021 at 11:44 PM congratulations on your win with this hilarious entry, Eric. Eric Cohen March 6, 2021 at 3:04 PM Thanks for stopping by and the kind words, Sus.

Wendy Watson March 5, 2021 at 6:57 AM I'm so pleased to see this at the top of the list, Eric and look forward to reading many more of your future gems. Your rhythmic flow is a delight to the inward ear. Eric Cohen March 5, 2021 at 3:36 PM Likewise, Wendy. Please see my comment on your masterful entry. ~Eric

Linda Alice Fowler March 5, 2021 at 6:52 AM I laughed and laughed. :)) Congratulations on the win Eric! Linda Eric Cohen March 5, 2021 at 3:35 PM Thanks, Linda. Glad you enjoyed.

William Kelii Kekaula March 5, 2021 at 3:01 AM My heartfelt appreciation for your participation and you have my compliments on your 1st Place win. I will post your Lifetime Membership on 2021 March 9th, lest during the interim, I receive your soupmail instructing me to do otherwise. Aloha my friend! Eric Cohen March 5, 2021 at 3:32 PM Wow, I am very grateful, William. Thanks for sponsoring this contest and your consideration. I had a lot of fun on this one, my first in this difficult form. Of course, I am very happy for the membership in PS, which I enjoy. All the best. ~Eric

Paula Goldsmith February 16, 2021 at 7:44 AM WOW!!! I am still laughing. So funny. Have a blessed day writing away............ Eric Cohen February 16, 2021 at 10:14 AM So glad you enjoyed, Paula. I think we all can use a smile. Thanks for the visit and comments.

Gershon Wolf January 28, 2021 at 7:17 PM Oh, Ward! Have you seen my Beaver?! -- I think that was the very line which cancelled the show. ~ Fast Eddie H. (May he rest in peace) Eric Cohen February 2, 2021 at 6:43 PM I think that line was accompanied by an (anachronistical) MC Hammer song, "U Can't Touch This."

Wendy Watson January 9, 2021 at 11:46 AM Eric, I can only imagine that despite so many readers, you have possibly not received a comment due to the rather unsavoury flavour of the subject matter! but as regards the flow and rhyming skill it is excellent from beginning to end. Wendy Watson January 9, 2021 at 2:50 PM It's an extremely impressive example, Eric. Even your first two lines are a winner in my books and the musicality throughout was wonderful. It's strange for me as an ex French Teacher to see apropos written as one word and minus the accent but it was a great word to end with and no, I don't think that the content will cause offence. Eric Cohen January 9, 2021 at 1:35 PM Wendy, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I truly appreciate it. I hope no one takes any offense to the content, which was intended in the spirit of the example by the Weingartens at: https://www.poetrysoup.com/dictionary/double_dactyl. It would be ironic if this is deemed not "apropos." Again, thanks.