I woke in a pool of befuddlement
was I still alive?
or was this death?
my heart was rapidly revolving
as if I had run the Boston marathon.
I felt discombobulated
since that loud gasp
when my soul reentered my body
hitting my chest full on
re-entry is difficult for us astral travelers.
My black son
He did not belong
Unwelcome
Unannounced and subsequently
Uninvited
To attend his predominately white Honors math class online
Confirmations abounded
With increasing befuddlement
By the substitute teacher
“Are You Sure?”
By a white classmate
Affirmed
Welcomed
Invited
Permitted to remain
After all
He did belong
My black son
Veil:
the dark,
ignorance,
befuddlement,
web of illusions,
begetting delusion,
said to be a divine play,
as our fickle attention sways,
blown like a leaf in the hurricane,
encircled by ego, our thoughts inane.
More the learning, lesser is our knowing,
whilst joy and sorrow remain cyclic.
On choosing total surrender,
we imbibe bliss in wonder,
resting our lower mind,
free of ego bind.
Our ascension
just happens,
as does
dawn.
20-October-2020
When meeting that special someone
There's no doubt in your searching mind
You can sense it, this is surely the one
It's a feeling like no other kind
Suddenly you stutter and stammer
Your face turns a crimson red
Wonder if you remembered deodorant
Or had two cups of coffee instead
You hope and pray she doesn't notice
The fumbling, the nervous twitch
You try and try to act cool and together
Not sure which hand is which
You're right-handed, maybe left
Your brain is in absolute befuddlement
You wish her a very good day then wham
Walk straight into an ill-placed plant
You are not alone, it happens every day
It's definitely a worldwide affliction
If, as you think, she is actually the one
You, my dear friend, are smitten
Upon meeting that special person
There's no doubt in your searching mind
You can sense it, this is surely the one
It's a feeling like no other kind
Suddenly you stutter and stammer
Your face turns a crimson red
Wonder if you remembered deodorant
Or had two cups of coffee instead
You hope and pray she doesn't notice
The fumbling, the nervous twitch
You try and try to act cool and together
Not sure which hand is which
You're right-handed, maybe left
Your brain is in absolute befuddlement
You wish her a very good day then wham
Walk straight into an ill-placed plant
You are not alone, it happens every day
It's definitely a worldwide affliction
If, as you think, she is actually the one
You, my dear friend, are smitten
We caught them taking turns
Splurging in an imaginary feast, where the figurines kissed
Where the billboard dog stared and winked
And robbers, dressed like priests, counted change
Which they had stolen from the beggar down the street
Of course we screamed at them in silence
And our faces were permanently creased
But the more we saw the less we could help
We held out our hands trying to get a grip
But the more we caught on, the less we held
I don’t know about the others, but I felt imprisoned
And the hissing whispers continued among the shadows
The nastiness metamorphosed and solidified into a raving rock
And I hid behind a sheet of glass and faced the stark facts
With my usual choice of weapons; wit and words
I said spare me the psychobabble, lay off the freedom speech
We are sick of all the liberation lingo
Put the slogan down. I refuse to pump the fist this week
Needless to say, they went and told the chairman
And then they came back for us
There’s a masquerade of feeling where no heart is.
I try to veil my true feelings of dismay in a shroud.
Trudging through the woods of ebony;
falling into complete obscurity of shadows and the soul.
A world of silence blanketed under and smeared haze of smoke;
the night changes to a dark opaque silver sky,
and a slow death of the moon.
I am drawn to the subtle scent of roses
and the weeping sounds of sorrow echoing through the trees.
She sits alone, an image of beauty.
I must not gaze upon the flawless skin of ebony,
braided hair cascading around her shoulder,
a dress of crimson wine and rose petals bending off her curves.
Her obsidian eyes could hypnotize me into befuddlement,
so I stood quite aloof from her.
Under a thin layer of veneer,
ripped up to the absence of any suture,
she weeps for the things she longs for the most.
Still must I hear?
6/3/2017
Upon meeting that special person
There's no doubt in your searching mind
You can sense it, this is surely the one
It's a feeling like no other kind
Suddenly you stutter and stammer
Your face turns a crimson red
Wonder if you remembered deodorant
Or put on two pairs of Jockeys instead
You hope and pray she doesn't notice
The fumbling, the nervous twitch
You try and try to act cool and together
Not sure which hand is which
Right handed, but maybe left
Your brain is in absolute befuddlement
You wish her a very good day then wham
You walk straight into an ill placed hydrant
You are not alone, it happens every day
It's definitely a worldwide affliction
If, as you think, she is the one
You, my dear friend, are smitten
© Jack Ellison 2013
I was lost tryna find life's key
Befuddlement
Thinkin' the world needed to love G
A Monument
My vision was still cloudy, see?
Poor Judgement
My daddy wasn't proud of me
He Wasn't
Attention rushed in like a flowing sea
Too Abundant
Including bloodsuckers like riding fleas
Too Indulgent
Fell down surrounded by my life's debris
Took Adjustment
Tryna change and grow... reached out to HE
A New Covenant
And my Daddy has forgiven me
Benevolent
Search your soul
Eyes as black as coal
Search your heart
For thieves in the night will take you apart
Back stabbers, rats and demons
Someone’s always waiting to watch someone fall
Have a thrill, rotten will
Depression confusion take a pill
Self absorbed selfish behavior
Kiss your way to the fruits of labor
Make Gods of money
Isn’t funny
When you should find a higher power
By the hour
Lack of expressions ,wrong directions
for your children as you are a poor reflection
It’s all around the rattling sound
Sloping economy research astronomy
Starving nations ,bad reputations
Man at war
The Unpredictable chore
Addiction, affliction, the destruction of the temple
Loss of principle loss of example
Man is trampled
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