We call it adult humor
Dressed like late night intellect
But the joke is just a cheap dare
We clap like it’s profound
We claim it’s edgy commentary
Wrapped in clever phrasing
But it’s really playground bravado
Posing as sophistication
We say it’s mature wit
Served with craft beer confidence
But it’s just petty mischief
Wearing a grown up voice
We insist it’s highbrow comedy
Sold as cultural insight
But it’s thin skinned teasing
Masquerading as satire
We pretend we’ve evolved past childishness
Framing jokes as worldly wisdom
But the truth is embarrassingly simple
We never stopped laughing at the easy stuff
There once was a known lady of vice
Who charged for her moist pie by the slice
Famous men would holler
Down many a dollar
To taste the infamous Heidi Fleiss
Donald had never seen Daisy this way
His sexy woman was ready to play!
She is bad to the bone
Sensuous pix on her phone
A video made her swish and sashay!
Daisy Duck entered Donald J. Duck’s dream
Made his traitorous body ache and steam.
Voluptuous breast
Not to mention the rest
Those legs caused Donald Duck to burst at his seams
It’s All Good
M. Griswold
120203
Slobbering kisses ain't so bad
and slippery tongues are grand to be had.
Tender touches with back sliding hands
are caressingly shivering and sensually rad.
Warm oil rubbings from head to feet
leaves one wanting for something horney to eat.
Nibbling on nobs is nastily sweet
while rustling in bushes is a tasty treat.
Hot steamy showers with scented colored soaps
brings heated bed wrestling with dripping naked hopes.
Whips and straps, tassels and ropes
bind in ways of tangled frenzied gropes.
Tickling adds rolling giggling spice.
A form of foreplay to succulently entice.
Let’s not forget that vibrating device
which can be used in any orifice to suffice.
And in closing as you knew I would
let me add just one more thing if I could.
We are all human and sex is a likelihood
so loosen up a little cause it's all good.
Ding – dong
Good day Madame,
I am here today with a purpose.
I wish to make your life easier.
Here in this box
Is the answer to every problem
You have ever had.
What is it, you say?
I will get to that momentarily.
This is a most amazing device,
Not only will it end your problems,
It makes housework a snap.
Calm down, please, I won’t
Take much more of your time,
May I please come in?
Thank you, now where’s the bedroom?
Please ma’am, you will be surprised.
Aah, perfect.
An outlet?
Great, now I will plug this in.
Yes, ma’am, the box is vibrating.
Now, I will leave this with you,
If in a week, you do not want this,
Please send it back, otherwise
Expect a bill.
One week had passed.
The client hadn’t been seen out
Of her bedroom the whole time.
Her husband was forced to make meals
And have the housework done,
All while holding down a job
To pay the mortgage.
Another satisfied customer!
The judge had slammed his gavel
To quiet the noisy crowd
For when the man had risen
The room got way too loud
The sentence must be handed
To satisfy the crime
So now the man is fated
To give ten years of time
It seems the pig he’d stolen
Belonged ole Deke Brown
He is the biggest drunk
In this God forsaken town
Deke Brown in fact was married
For twenty years this day
But forgot to get a present
For his mind had slipped away
See, now his wife is ornery
And wants someone to pay
So the man who stole the pig
Will soon now rue the day
His punishment is ten years
Yet, not in jail, do tell
He must now do her bidding
Looks like ten years now in hell
For Ole Ms Brown’s a biggun
And has her own pig ways
She just ain’t that particular
Of the men with whom she lays
So now this suffering convict
Was doomed as verdict read
For truth be known, the pig he stole
Was the one who shared her bed
His ten years now of prison
Starts on the day the Browns wed
While Mr Brown gets drunk again
The convict’s there in bed
No taste as sweet
As liquid love
It’s desire in a jar
Just pour it out
Upon your dish
A tempting treat by far
Just let it ooze
Let it cover
Every morsel, every bite
So pour it out
Upon your lover
Treat yourself tonight
Men are strong of the body, you’ll find
Stressing an importance of their size
While women, gentler and fairer, too
Can still overpower us guys
They have this thing, a power, I’d say
To control, manipulate and win
Yet, they let us think it’s us that control
When it really happens to be them
Their batting eyelashes, even their smarts
As their brains far surpassed ours
Is enough to drive us all fetal posing
Experiencing the worst of their powers
They can have us do anything at anytime
They get us to do all their bidding
They have it all over us, they really do
Of this, I am not kidding
For we can work hard, achieve all our goals
But if the right woman were to cross your path
All of your riches, your home, your dreams
You’d have to share, for yours would not last
But this now I say, it’s perfect this way
Just learn to accept and expect
Because to love them, is truly the best
As they get us to stand then erect
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