~Truant loyal adolescent boy
walks the path of loyal while carrying a can
of worms nestle upon the shore of the country pond
He places his fish hook in the water
country boy gone to a pond of fish school
12/11/23
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2023
Adolescent
Happiness and joy, smiles and giggles
Crayons and markers, colorful pictures
Swing set and slide, playground wonder
Kisses and hugs, bedtime rituals
Sadness and confusion, go away
Somber and distance, I'm okay
Closed door and isolation, stay away
Mommy and Daddy, help me through
Kisses and hugs, I still love you
Push and shove, hold me tight
Darkness and despair, I see the light
Happiness and joy, smiles and giggles
I may act like a quixotic adolescent,
But at least I’m not a depressant.
There are so many
beautiful teenagers
that laugh
and joke
and make you feel bad about yourself.
And we know, okay,
we’re sorry.
We’re just so confused
about why it’s so easy to push
someone down when we’re already on the ground.
Please empathize with us
when we are home alone
and admit to ourselves:
Every exhale feels like
a scream for help.
But we puff out air instead of sound
because words feel too heavy
and we know our mouths
are meant for loving,
not for screaming.
I mean, how do you tell someone
that your heart feels like it’s bleeding.
And so do your eyes.
And your ears.
How do you say “ I don’t want to breathe anymore”?
Carefree days and endless nights
Great surprises and delights
Dreaming of my future goals
And what story will told
Watching stars on favorite shows
Wishing that I had a role
Reading books on faraway lands
And envisioning my plans
What would my destiny entail
Will my fortune be derailed
Will I achieve enormous heights
Will my visions work out right
Will I live in exotic places
And hob-nob with the famous faces
Will I have a great career
And have loved ones that are near
In my mind I’ve painted stories
Of cherished dreams and splendid glory
Will my wishes then arise
And appear before my eyes
If I use my imagination
And dismiss my limitations
I’ll achieve my coveted goal
And my future will unfold
Headline: "Bieber jailed."
And you tell me there's a God?
I won't sleep. Will you?
Why give someone everything
And let them have the power to make you do anything
Just because you gave them everything
Because you feel something for them
Doesn’t give them the right to treat you like an item
Boys who chase girls, just for the banging
Aren’t really themselves, their just acting
Playing a role, telling girls what they know they like hearing
Then once they get the girls to fall for them
They use them and then leave them
I'm not invincible, I zoned out and I began over thinking,
Unlike a dilated pupil shrinking, I was untamed between blinking
Thinking dark thoughts, trying to build a fence but my chain wasn't linking,
So I found a pen and some paper and I went straight to the inking
13 years old and I had already tasted of the manic depression,
Ready to session, and drown with the Leviathan now I'm stressing,
Forget the lesson, I raised myself with nothing but a question,
How to survive by myself, so I dropped being a kid and I left it
I picked up a pen before I learned multiplication math,
So realize that these are more than emotions when I start to rap
This is dedication, pens turn to swords when they feel my wrath,
The knight in shining armor, with a sinister laugh
They say I'm, schizophrenic because I hold the horizon still
Or maybe because I took metaphors in the form of a pill
But whatever he reason, I still hover over them with skill
So get ready to climb a mountain, and watch me walk over hills
Faulty compass of drifting swain
Freelancing on arid, desert plain
Passion fires mind of careening train
Burning loins long each satin sheath to stain
Sculpted dunes seductive beauty do feign
Smooth, silky curves do the froward eye entertain
But the silted grains proffer momentary gain
Entrancing mirages with frothy water holes detain
Anon, overwhelming desires the burgeoning libido enchain
Strained limbs long the rite of passage to explain
Scrubby growth shrouds the perimeter of fragile domain
Pubescent psyche with confusing, hormonal signals overlain
The overheated circuits a disoriented path ordain
As eroding winds of doubt doth the surface disdain
Insecure conduits more and more inward shame drain
Seething shadow flutters in constantly changing terrain
Each step on serpentine course causes more growing pain
Until stumbling on rational plateau containing deep, emotive vein
Conquering the debilitating elements that immaturity did restrain
I want to be younger to the point where i didn't give a damn what i looked like and have that mentality of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden when they where naked and it didn't bother them. Realistically i would like to be an infant and not have a worry in the world and be ignorant to the struggles of life.
They say that ignorance is bliss and i truly believe it but there has to be a point where ignorance will make men look idiotic, but if that is what it has to come down to, Then i choose to be ignorant to life and all it's harsh truth's and fact's
The knowledge that I am
is not.
Like an hallucination,
I am
nothing more than
a name --
a designation of something
that is
yet to be.
The future must unfold
all that
I become in later years.
For now,
I know not why,
or, perhaps,
even that I do
exist....
Immediacy of the moment doth youthful heart beckon
With trite passions that seem to standardize each deviation
Intemperate fodder with which sprouting limbs must reckon
Growing pains producing physical appetites beyond satiation
Carefree days frought with moments of indecision
Sheltered from responsibility; a meaningless depreciation
Time monotonously calibrated; habituated minion
Brokered existence reducing life to borderline depression
A guiding light flickering in the distant future makes a slight
impression
But wired circuits overloaded with transitory cares leads to
confusion
Producing electrical impulses that stimulate internal combustion
Sparking trip wire in mind that produces periods of oscillation
Seeking conformity, a bridge from isolated station
Tring to establish self esteem through peer group ingratiation
To the passing trends, fleeting fads making a necessary oblation
Conversely, using concrete value judgements to qualify each,
pretentious action
Facial blemishes at a tender age shouldn’t be a lasting problem.
If day dreams cause one to not turn the page that is a problem.
Excess of any kind, to a point of distraction, should be amended.
TV and computer time, cut short of satisfaction, will soften a problem.
Practice of any useful kind, is never a waste of time or labor.
Banter, exercise of the mind, is a blessing not a problem.
The opposite sex, so mysterious it seems, should be discovered.
Knowledge is delirious, but knowing in itself, is not a problem.
Conflicts of sin and pleasure, young minds in emotional distress.
No way to adequately measure ...when it begins to be a problem.
Tell tale signs of peer pressure, no open display of hostility fostered.
Falling grades, more time of leisure, sure signs of a growing problem.
Charles says, listen to advice of older friends, and obey family rules.
To, act on your own, not rolling the dice, is a way to avoid a problem.
Adolescence
© Apr 04 2010
My space ship of a lamp shade,
This little cardboard room.
What genius exists here,
In the abscence of the moon?
During the Forties I was just a lad
Growing up was not so bad;
Summer evenings,lengthened long,
Clambered tree,with birds in full song.
Across nearby fields,over the brook
Studying in nature's real-tim book;
Scaled branches for my egg collection,
Wild flowers then pressed to perfection.
Fishing for sticklback with jamjar and net,
Oftimes slipping and getting wet;
Boys' club,in the pld school hall,
Indoor hockey with a ragged ball.
Gathering conkers on Chestnut Crescent
For nnual contests,adolescent;
Blue-paper fireworks,In November,
Baked spuds in glowing embers.
Around the streets,carol singing,
Boxes rattling,lanterns swinging;
Indelible ,magic memoir-
Remebered scenes from afar.
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