Aardvark Poems

An Aardvark

An Aardvark

an aardvark is a curious animal
that passes himself off as a mammal
with rabbet ears and pig snout
he is unusual looking no doubt
on ants and termites, he does feed
but not so much on centipedes
he hides by day in the ground
and comes out at night to walk around
the aardvark is an odd looker for sure
but for some he holds a strange allure

An Aardvark Walked Into IKEA

An aardvark walked into IKEA
Why he did that I have no idea
Ignoring their calls
To try the meatballs
He searched for some ants out the rear

He does ‘civilised’ when he’s able
So found a flat pack dining table
He’d built one - not ever
In inclement weather
And thus it was rather unstable

You don’t see aardvarks wearing wellies
While stuffing ants into their bellies
And if he should drown
While slurping ants down 
Would it show up on closed circuit tellies?

He wouldn’t be humiliated
Embarrassment is over rated
The ground was now boggy
And aardvark was soggy
His hunger was not to be sated

So he snuck in to get meatballs - Swedish
He was wet so they gave him a free dish
He ate them real quick
And then he got sick 
Had somebody done something fiendish?

The police came and said, “Well I Never,
Was it IKEA food or the weather?”
They found lots of clues
They thought they could use
But they struggled to put them together.

Aardvark

I went for a walk with an Aardvark
In a forest of beer bottle trees,
Entranced by their gentle swaying,
Hanging and clinking in the breeze;
And I found a top spanner bush
Growing at a convenient height
And me and my friend the Aardvark
Settled down for our boozy night.

We sampled the pale ale and bitter
Then the stout the mild and the pils
Organically brewed with such care
To avoid any hangover ills.
And my Aardvark danced a jig,
Accompanying himself on a lute
The wind blowing through the bottles
Providing a raw wild sort of flute.

We discussed the ways of the world
Each providing our original views
On such as the Albigensian heresies
And the standard of reporting the news.
Then a bell rang through that forest
And a voice rolled in my head 
Its closing time for the winter
And I woke up alone in my bed.

I sprang from my sheets with a zest
Had a quick burst on my tambourine
Before cleaning my teeth with such energy
On my oral hygiene machine.
I ate toast and two eggs for my brekkers
With a selection of blended fruit teas
Hungry from my walk with that Aardvark
In that forest of beer bottle trees.

Dig Little Aardvark Dig Dig Dig

Dig dig dig little aardvark
gobble down those ants and termites.
gulp gulp gulp, tasty tasty tasty.
Slurp them up with your long rough tongue.
Gulp gulp gulp 
Slurp slurp slurp
Dig dig dig.
It is fun to watch you eat

Aardvark

I went for a walk with an Aardvark
In a forest of beer bottle trees,
Entranced by their gentle swaying,
Hanging and clinking in the breeze;
And I found a top spanner bush
Growing at a convenient height
And me and my friend the Aardvark
Settled down for our boozy night.

We sampled the pale ale and bitter
Then the stout the mild and the pils
Organically brewed with such care
To avoid any hangover ills.
And my Aardvark danced a jig,
Accompanying himself on a lute
The wind blowing through the bottles
Providing a raw wild sort of flute.

We discussed the ways of the world
Each providing our original views
On such as the Albigensian heresies
And the standard of reporting the news.
Then a bell rang through that forest
And a voice rolled in my head 
Its closing time for the winter
And I woke up alone in my bed.

I sprang from my sheets with a zest
Had a quick burst on my tambourine
Before cleaning my teeth with such energy
On my oral hygiene machine.
I ate toast and two eggs for my brekkers
With a selection of blended fruit teas
Hungry from my walk with that Aardvark
In that forest of beer bottle trees.

Look An Aardvark

I felt happy as a lark,
I watched an aardvark;
As I sat in a giant arc.
Next, I waved hi to Mark,
As he jogged in the park.
He wanted to catch Clarke.
Then I noticed a dog bark,
That resembled a gray shark;
Lastly, had to run; it got dark.










Alexis Y.
03/11/2022

Aardvark On Display

Have you ever watched an aardvark
   on display at your local zoo
He paces back and forth, forth and back
   I get dizzy. I wonder if he does too

Vegan Aardvark

THEN the skies bellowed a frothy glitter    and  d o w n  became up   &
sideways turned horizontally truthful
said the vegan Aardvark.

   THE Policeman chewed his m0uth-
side and a Red Ant crawled out from his nostril damn-us (Quatrain 173) &
   my pillow has luscious lips from some disembodied woman who once cared
for me.            The rest of this delirious

prose is buried in an unmarked book

within a discount store on the far 

side of the Moon.

::02.??.2020::

Artistic Aardvark Named Clark

An artistic aardvark 
living in a forest dark
very quickly did embark
upon a quest on an ark
Noah gave him name of Clark.

Awkward Aardvark

I am an awkward aardvark

Awkward because, no one knows exactly
what kind of animal I am
how to classify me

I am an awkward aardvark

Evolved by necessity into an odd mixture
of adorable and formidable
sharp claws on my paws
funny bunny ears, the better to hear
predators in the night
just out of sight

I am an awkward aardvark

Nocturnal by nature, cautiously seeking safety
in my burrows dug deep
furrows on my face tracing the fear
of ever-present dangers lurking near

I am an awkward aardvark

Protecting myself with surprisingly thick skin
living on strange food
tiny crawly metaphors infested in the wood
of life's framework
a kind of a solitary clean-up committee
devouring what would otherwise
destroy the solidarity
of needed structures

Aardvark

there once was an aardvark with quite a tongue
he has used it well since he was young
zip it here
and zap it there
many a poor ant has been stung

The Day the Aardvark Died

The Day The Aardvark Died Christmas 2017

The day the aardvark died
they wept down London zoo
some danced in Jerusalem
cardinals Christians orthodox Jew

The day the aardvark died
I heard them wail down Regents Park
a city prayed for Meerkats
the zoo closed gates before dark

The day the aardvark died
A giant tortoise cried in her pen
then so did the children of Ramala
Palestine West Bank and Hebron

The day the aardvark died
lions slept soundly in their cage
the Saudi's dropped bombs in Yemen
we stuffed turkeys with onion and sage

Aardvark Limerick

Aardvark Limerick

An Aardvark living in Timbuktu,
Raised his finger and said,” screw you”
Why so rude, I said back,
Lovely manners you do lack.

So, to reciprocate, I gave him two.

Limerick Contest
Line Gauthier
Written 19.10.17

The Aardvark and the Pangolin

The Aardvark and the Pangolin,
Romantically, had been entwined.
But infidelity, was in the air,
Aardvark, had a new suiter in mind.

Pangolin, did challenge his rival,
The Anteater with beautiful snout.
Don’t fear for me, on your betrayal,
Sweet Armadillo, is taking me out.

The Mystic Aardvark

Alan the mystic
Aardvark 
Rejected wrath and
Drama
Violence and ire
Alan said
Result in endless
Karma

by Gail

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