Best Aardvark Poems
When Aardvark sleeps, perchance to dream
About a tasty snack …
I wonder, does he ever wish
It wouldn’t bite him back?
Inspired by Lee Leon’s poem ‘Aardvark’
Thanks, Lee!
I am an awkward aardvark
Awkward because, no one knows exactly
what kind of animal I am
how to classify me
I am an awkward aardvark
Evolved by necessity into an odd mixture
of adorable and formidable
sharp claws on my paws
funny bunny ears, the better to hear
predators in the night
just out of sight
I am an awkward aardvark
Nocturnal by nature, cautiously seeking safety
in my burrows dug deep
furrows on my face tracing the fear
of ever-present dangers lurking near
I am an awkward aardvark
Protecting myself with surprisingly thick skin
living on strange food
tiny crawly metaphors infested in the wood
of life's framework
a kind of a solitary clean-up committee
devouring what would otherwise
destroy the solidarity
of needed structures
An aardvark walked into IKEA
Why he did that I have no idea
Ignoring their calls
To try the meatballs
He searched for some ants out the rear
He does ‘civilised’ when he’s able
So found a flat pack dining table
He’d built one - not ever
In inclement weather
And thus it was rather unstable
You don’t see aardvarks wearing wellies
While stuffing ants into their bellies
And if he should drown
While slurping ants down
Would it show up on closed circuit tellies?
He wouldn’t be humiliated
Embarrassment is over rated
The ground was now boggy
And aardvark was soggy
His hunger was not to be sated
So he snuck in to get meatballs - Swedish
He was wet so they gave him a free dish
He ate them real quick
And then he got sick
Had somebody done something fiendish?
The police came and said, “Well I Never,
Was it IKEA food or the weather?”
They found lots of clues
They thought they could use
But they struggled to put them together.
The Aardvark and the Pangolin,
Romantically, had been entwined.
But infidelity, was in the air,
Aardvark, had a new suiter in mind.
Pangolin, did challenge his rival,
The Anteater with beautiful snout.
Don’t fear for me, on your betrayal,
Sweet Armadillo, is taking me out.
Aardvark
First animal
Alphabetically
Destroyer of high citadels
Thirty five million years, one diet
Consuming whole populations
Poor eyesight, nocturnal
Termite eater
Aardvark
Aardvark Limerick
An Aardvark living in Timbuktu,
Raised his finger and said,” screw you”
Why so rude, I said back,
Lovely manners you do lack.
So, to reciprocate, I gave him two.
Limerick Contest
Line Gauthier
Written 19.10.17
Alan the mystic
Aardvark
Rejected wrath and
Drama
Violence and ire
Alan said
Result in endless
Karma
by Gail
I felt happy as a lark,
I watched an aardvark;
As I sat in a giant arc.
Next, I waved hi to Mark,
As he jogged in the park.
He wanted to catch Clarke.
Then I noticed a dog bark,
That resembled a gray shark;
Lastly, had to run; it got dark.
Alexis Y.
03/11/2022
WHAT YOU DOING ON THAT BARSTOOL FOOL?
Is that what it takes for you to feel brave?
And why can’t you simply behave?
Don’t you realize it’s transience you crave?
And why do you secret youthful beauty within a cave?
Upon a time once did a wolf sleep with a lamb
Him with lethal teeth and her with a cute little curtsey and curls
That wolf who slept beside her didn’t give a damn
And never cared about the feelings for any of his young girls
silken sheets were where his advantage was taken
For the little lamb would obey his every demand
But by belittlement and a bastard was that lamb forsaken
And the bridge between fangs and curls could never be spanned
Oh but were the lamb to have been on Venus and the wolf upon Mars
Two different planets for two different hearts
The wolf’s teeth turned crimson while the lamb had her scars
As, from that little lamb the wolf purloined her prettiest parts
There was no running away for a lamb held captive in a cave
And fear doesn’t always lead a lamb far away from Mars
The universe isn’t sizable enough to hide what that wolf would crave
And today the memory of my being that wolf keeps me in shooting galleries and seedy bars
© 2011.….Poefree
God Made That Ugly Old Aard Vark.
Koala bears eat leafy tree vegetation...
But not in our American nation.
Aard varks eat bugs while on the fly...
To this fact, many a zoo keeper cannot deny.
Dinosaurs once walked the earth...
From a volcano came smoke and fire
Which covered a massive widely world's roundly girth.
Adam was the first earthly man...
This was God's original plan.
When Adam first saw Eve...
He pulled and he tugged on that old fig leaf,
To quench his own sexual desire.
Satan through the serpant blind sighted Adam
in God's own eyes...
After they were kicked out of Eden,
Adam had the desire for Eve's own thighs.
After sex, they both had a break,
Then they breathed a many real sighs.
Bed time, play time, was their own
deviously created own timely plan, that they did devise.
An artistic aardvark
living in a forest dark
very quickly did embark
upon a quest on an ark
Noah gave him name of Clark.
The Day The Aardvark Died Christmas 2017
The day the aardvark died
they wept down London zoo
some danced in Jerusalem
cardinals Christians orthodox Jew
The day the aardvark died
I heard them wail down Regents Park
a city prayed for Meerkats
the zoo closed gates before dark
The day the aardvark died
A giant tortoise cried in her pen
then so did the children of Ramala
Palestine West Bank and Hebron
The day the aardvark died
lions slept soundly in their cage
the Saudi's dropped bombs in Yemen
we stuffed turkeys with onion and sage
Have you ever watched an aardvark
on display at your local zoo
He paces back and forth, forth and back
I get dizzy. I wonder if he does too
I went for a walk with an Aardvark
In a forest of beer bottle trees,
Entranced by their gentle swaying,
Hanging and clinking in the breeze;
And I found a top spanner bush
Growing at a convenient height
And me and my friend the Aardvark
Settled down for our boozy night.
We sampled the pale ale and bitter
Then the stout the mild and the pils
Organically brewed with such care
To avoid any hangover ills.
And my Aardvark danced a jig,
Accompanying himself on a lute
The wind blowing through the bottles
Providing a raw wild sort of flute.
We discussed the ways of the world
Each providing our original views
On such as the Albigensian heresies
And the standard of reporting the news.
Then a bell rang through that forest
And a voice rolled in my head
Its closing time for the winter
And I woke up alone in my bed.
I sprang from my sheets with a zest
Had a quick burst on my tambourine
Before cleaning my teeth with such energy
On my oral hygiene machine.
I ate toast and two eggs for my brekkers
With a selection of blended fruit teas
Hungry from my walk with that Aardvark
In that forest of beer bottle trees.
THEN the skies bellowed a frothy glitter and d o w n became up &
sideways turned horizontally truthful
said the vegan Aardvark.
THE Policeman chewed his m0uth-
side and a Red Ant crawled out from his nostril damn-us (Quatrain 173) &
my pillow has luscious lips from some disembodied woman who once cared
for me. The rest of this delirious
prose is buried in an unmarked book
within a discount store on the far
side of the Moon.
::02.??.2020::