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Never would I have thought I would start writing at 73 years of age. I have thoroughly enjoyed my voyage into the written spirituality of poetry and am thankful for the opportunity. In my seven years here I have met many new and wonderful persons. Having them accept me as a friend has been a moving experience.

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The Elusive Monoku

Blog Posted by Charles Henderson: 7/27/2013 11:20:00 PM

I just read a new slant on monoku. I do not know how prevalent this is or if it is "old hat". Anyway it is the first time I have read anything like it and would like to generate some conversation around it.

Heretofore I have considered monoku to only be a one line Japanese poem of 17 syllables or thereabout, which carried some sort of fact within its structure.

Of course the one at the bottom of this blog just happens to be written in a way that it could read this new way, strictly by accident. But, after seeing the information on the net it got me thinking if I have been wrong in just writing any old 17 syllable statement.

Found on--- Shapingwords.blogspot.com/2010/07/haiku-analogs.html

The third source for the Monoku is modern free verse. One-line poems are a feature of short-form free verse and have been for some time. Since many Haiku poets have absorbed free verse norms and write in basically a free verse manner, it is not surprising that Monoku, or Haiku written on a single line, would appear as an option.

The Monoku has the ability to play on ambiguities which three line lineation would make problematic and thus there is often in the Monoku a deliberate use of wordplay. Here are some examples of Monoku I have written:

July late morning fog slowly lifting the pink camellias

An example of the ambiguity and word play is shown by dividing the above Monoku into two sections:

July late morning fog slowly lifting

late morning fog slowly lifting the pink camellias

By deliberately not using punctuation and just writing a single line the feeling of the fog communicates while it is lifting, and the seeming way it lifts the camellias, can be communicated.
////////////////////////////// end of quote.

I have never looked at monoku in this light and wondered if others have the same opinion as this writer. it really makes sense for squeezing two lines of thought into one line of space. I just wrote the following poem with the monoku separating the haiku. A new configuration of mine which I like very well.

smiling --
she stirs cold coffee
and waits

a vision of bottles, baths and baby powder in her life

again --
the movement
within

For my own monoku above it would be:

1) a vision of bottles, baths and baby powder.

and

2) bottles, baths and baby powder in her life.

I have been overlooking this all along. From a lot of the monoku I have read in contests, it seems many others on the soup to have not been familier with this concept either. What are some of your thought on this?

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Brian Strand

July 29, 2013 at 1:46 AM

Debbie.in Japan haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line. The single-line haiku usually contains much fewer than seventeen syllables. A caesura (pause) may be appropriate, dictated by sense or speech rhythm, and usually little or no punctuation. It was introduced into English in 1970's by a Japanese translator (see Wiki for more on this. I introduced monoku on PS in April 2007 )My later version I labelled 'a broken monoku'is a variation broken at the pause,the second part is inset on the second line to start where the first ends,thus visually continuing it as one line.Monoku is a valid haiku variation, mono (one) and ku (haiku ), mine being a further variation.Here is that first English monoku of mine from 2007 'listen to the pause - silence is golden' A tribute to Erik Satie.Rgds Brian

Brian Strand

July 29, 2013 at 3:37 PM

Debbie 'broken'is a visual ,you need to goto my example to get this rgds

Debbie Guzzi

July 29, 2013 at 3:22 PM

it sounds like you are saying a monoku is a haiku simply NOT broken into 3 lines but still has 2 parts, that was my understanding, so still objective, still, in the moment, still in 2 parts separated by a -- still containing a season word. I'm on board with that I don't get the variation [broken and/or the loop]

Debbie Guzzi

July 28, 2013 at 7:57 PM

I don't understand it, I guess its a form label which is kind of tricking us by sticking 'ku' in the name? Is this correct? similar to all the other haiku wannabees I put up a bit ago? which really had very little to do with the core concepts of haiku, I just don't get it, explain loop Chris/Chas? like from life to death and around and around?

Charmaine Chircop

July 28, 2013 at 4:16 PM

For me monoku is an alternative to haiku or senryu written as one liner with 17 syllables or less..and with a pause in between..Am i correct or not ?Its nice to read your blog and learn more about it..tnks so much.

Andrea Dietrich

July 28, 2013 at 6:47 AM

I liked the example of the camellias. Is it popular now to combine monoku with haiku as you did in your own example? I still prefer regular haiku instead of monoku. Really liked how you combined two haiku(senryu?) in your own example. I don't think the mononku in the middle is even necessary since the 2 senryu make it obvious she is expecting a baby.

Brian Strand

July 28, 2013 at 1:50 AM

I introduced the 'broken ' monoku here some years back Charles.Here is one example of mine 'in the midst of death- lichens come to life' The second part is inset on the second line to start where the first ends,thus visually continuing it as one line.As this comment box does not show this readers can check it out by entering 'a broken line monoku' in the search area of my poems.For my taste it is the most satisfactory of the 'haiku style' forms.Rgds Brian

Charmaine Chircop

July 28, 2013 at 4:19 PM

Tnks Brian..Very interesting

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